Donald Trump Called Meghan McCain a 'Donut'
Last week, the White House served Meghan McCain a glorious feast for her to justifiably milk on TV when requests were made to hide the USS John McCain from Donald Trump’s sight because our president is an easily triggered soyboi. (Did I do that right?) But just as that controversy was looking like it would die down and not send the McCain’s vast fortune and political clout running straight into the arms of Joe Biden, the Daily Mail has published excerpts from Michael Wolff’s Siege: Trump Under Fire and, well, Jesus Christ.
Donald Trump saw John McCain’s deadly brain tumor as a twisted kind of ‘personal validation’, Michael Wolff’s bombshell new book claims.
The President saw poetic justice in one of his biggest foes contracting the disease which would kill him in August last year.
But that wasn’t enough for Trump who grew angry that McCain, a war hero who survived being tortured in Vietnam, ‘hung on’ for 13 months.
After McCain died in August last year and his daughter Meghan sharply criticized the President, he became ‘obsessed’ with her weight - and gave her the cruel nickname ‘donut’.
As I’ve obsessively documented, there are hundreds of reasons to criticize Meghan McCain without mentioning her weight. (For example, do you know who her father is?) However, almost all of those reasons are because she routinely backs whatever backwards-ass, authoritative horsesh*t the Republican Party is peddling, which puts Trump in an awkward position. Plus, I could’ve sworn curvy blondes who are only on TV because of nepotism and worshipping their dads was his exact turn-on. More importantly, a guy who looks like a moldy sack of yams probably shouldn’t be judging anyone on their physical appearance.
he literally looks like a practice wax statue pic.twitter.com/bkiiZ697hh— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) June 3, 2019
But I’m applying logic and reason to a syphilitic turd-muffin who has the impulse control of a toddler on coke. Case in point: The President of the United States apparently believes cancer is out here killing his enemies.
McCain became the Senator that Trump hated the most when he voted against his repeal of Obamacare, sinking one of the President’s main policy goals.
According to Wolff when McCain made his tumor diagnosis public in July 2017 Trump said: ‘You see? You see what can happen’ - then he would ‘mime an exploding head’.
As McCain’s illness progressed, Trump moaned that he was not a ‘good enough sport’ to quit his Senate seat and let one of his allies take it over.
After McCain’s death, Trump’s hatred for him found an outlet in his daughter, who is a regular panelist on The View.
Trump said: ‘When she hears my name she always looks like she’s going to cry. Like her father. Very, very tough family. Boo hoo, boo hoo’.
Most of you are probably recoiling at the fact that Trump talks like the bully from Toy Story, but here’s the thing, for Republican voters that’s a feature not a bug. They f*cking LOVE when President FatJokes Strongman “tells it like it is.” If Meghan McCain didn’t want to be called a crying donut, then her dad should’ve bent the knee and pledged his undying loyalty (poor choice of words) to King Scoffrey. Simple as that.
As of this writing, Meghan hasn’t responded to the excerpts, but I’m sure that’s only a matter of time. But again, just like the boat incident, she’ll be entirely justified in bringing up her father, who apparently is John McCain?! HOLY SHIT. But seriously, I doubt Meghan is reading any of this. However, on the off-chance that she is, let me just offer the best course of action here and also mention that my DMs are always open. Just FYI.
Anyway, here’s what you do: You and your mom need to announce that you’ll be endorsing the Democratic candidate for president. It’s the ultimate f*cking move especially when the asshole pissing on your father’s grave is terrified of being indicted if he loses in 2020. I get that the farthest left you’re willing to go is backing Joe Biden, and hey, it might shake out that he’s the nominee because life is a constant cascade of disappointments. But now seems like a really good time to assess just how devoted you are to a party that is way too eager to fall on their swords and wipe their asses with the constitution at the behest of a day-glo pisspot dictator. At least for this election. If you want to go back to voting Republican after that, whatever, I get it. Your brand is making everyone on The View hate you for a paycheck you’ll never need. We all have our niche.
Header Image Source: Getty
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