The Hollywood Reporter just ran an epic and mind-boggling feature today, filled with all the hallmarks of, well, any other sordid Charlie Sheen story. Drugs, domestic violence, blackmail, knowingly exposing partners to HIV — it’s all there, filtered through the gaze of former Sheen pal Lenny Dykstra, a major league baseballer turned ex-con. This man has his own shady past, and he provides very little in the way of evidence. So while we may need to take his one-sided ramblings with a grain of salt, it doesn’t mean that some of the ramblings aren’t at least a little interesting. Specifically the one where he claims Sheen had a dude killed.
But first, a bit about Dykstra to put this in context. His nickname is “Nails,” and he played for the Mets and the Phillies as a center fielder in a career that spanned from 1985-1996. Upon his retirement, he, uh, got into car washes and quick lube centers and became a financial guru? By 2011 he was facing charges including bankruptcy fraud, grand theft auto, drug possession, identity theft, lewd conduct, and assault with a deadly weapon. He eventually served 3 years in prison. So, he’s a hustler — one with a pretty clear agenda when it comes to Charlie Sheen:
Press Dykstra about his rationalization for selling out his former friend, and he’ll tell you that Sheen took his wise counsel for granted, ignored it and left him with nothing to show for it. No surprise, Dykstra is hoping to drum up interest in a possible stand-alone Sheen documentary project as well as a multipart docuseries about his own over-the-top life — he envisions it in the sweeping, kaleidoscopic terms of O.J.: Made in America. “There are so many people to interview, from prison guards to my [private plane] pilots to pussy,” he says.
Over the course of the article, some of Dykstra’s claims do check out, while a lot of other stuff goes unverified. The biggest bombshell? That Charlie Sheen may have been involved in the 2012 death of his former assistant, Rick Calamaro. Dykstra claims he warned Sheen that Calamaro was writing a tell-all book about his boss before he went to jail. Calamaro died of an overdose while Dykstra was in jail, and the autopsy ruled the death an accident, noting the high levels of Fentanyl in Calamaro’s body and his history of depression and anxiety. When he got out of prison, Dykstra says he asked Sheen, “What the fuck happened to Calamaro?” — and this was Sheen’s response (emphasis mine):
“He said, ‘You mean Dead Rick? What fucking happened is the motherfucker tried to blackmail me just like you said — wanted $5 million. I had him fucking iced.’ He said he had a hot dose put in there,” using slang for a lethal intravenous injection prepared for an unsuspecting victim.
So, OK, Sheen’s lawyer denied these allegations, and it’s not exactly as if Dykstra is the most reliable source around. He has zero proof to support his recollection anyway. But mostly I’m stuck on the idea of a person actually using the term “iced” to reference having someone killed. That’s such a movie cliché, I’d almost buy an actor saying it. Almost.
The other thing I’m stuck on? This denial of the allegation, from another Sheen confidant:
Sheen’s close friend, Tony Todd, who lived with the actor during this period and has known him since the two attended Santa Monica High School, laughingly scoffs at the charge, adding that even if Sheen were to have done such a thing, “Charlie’s not going to tell it to Lenny Dykstra!”
TONY FUCKING TODD IS IN THIS STORY?!
Oh. Oh wait. Apparently it’s not THE Tony Todd, as in THE CANDYMAN Tony Todd. Dustin just went and burst my bubble. So fine, we’re back to focusing on Sheen maybe “icing” someone.
Anyway, the article lays out the entire cuckoo history of the Dykstra/Sheen relationship, which is fascinating (even if only 25% of it is true). It all wraps up with another (alleged) bombshell: that Sheen is being investigated by the Feds, and it may be Dykstra’s whistleblowing that accidentally got the ball rolling. Basically, Dykstra believed that Sheen’s former head of security would try to seek retribution after he was fired. So Dykstra somehow got ahold of some supposedly incriminating documents and gave them to the IRS… only to have it backfire. They were more interested in what the papers revealed about Sheen than the security chief.
[The IRS agent] says, ‘What do you know about these $20,000 cash payments for “women of the night”?’ That’s when I knew they’re going to come at him with tax fraud, wire fraud — everything.” (The IRS will not comment on particular tax cases.) Dykstra knows from experience what it’s like when the government, patient and powerful, zeroes in on you. “It was a felony if you didn’t tell a woman you have HIV when you know it. Nothing has happened to him since all of those women went public. Think about it,” he says, proffering his own legal analysis. “This is how he is going to go down.”
With friends like these, amirite?