Look, let’s be honest—you clicked on the link because your curiosity got the best of you in this madlibs style headline. How could any of this possibly be true?!
Well guess what hotshot, I’m about to blow your mind and take you on a journey you never thought possible. So strap in and hold on tight, because this Bigfoot sh*t is about to get very, very real.
I’ve long held the belief that Bigfoot is not one particular animal that lives in the wilderness of the US, but a type of species that is smart enough to yet go undetected by humanity, and can be found worldwide. In the collective Bigfoots’ hearts they know this to be true: once found, mankind would destroy Bigfoot for sport, food, and entertainment. (I have it on good authority at least one Overlord would eat Bigfoot if given the chance, which they admitted on Slack. Who is the real monster here, friends?!)
With that knowledge in mind, it’s no wonder they hide from us. But just because they hide, does not mean there are not seekers among us. Mainly, Tom DeLonge, formerly of Blink 182.
Travis Barker, DeLonge’s former bandmate recently recounted his passion for Bigfoot on Joe Rogans’ podcast (I know you’re rolling your eyes, I am too, but the truth comes in all shapes and sizes.) The highlights are summarized by Barker here:
“He would even go as far as when we were on tour [to be] like, ‘Let’s go and f*cking look for Bigfoot.’ Whatever it was. And he would assemble a crew and they would go do it,” the drummer recalled.
While he placated DeLonge’s search for UFOs from the tour bus window, Barker abstained from the Bigfoot searches. “He never got me on one of those trips because that was just too fairytale for me,” he admitted, noting, “It’s really not something he just [recently] got into — from the day I f*cking met him he was obsessed with UFOs and aliens and he was always very passionate about it to the point where I didn’t know enough to have any kind of I guess, like, opinion on it.”
Ok, so by now the Blink 182 aficionados amongst us are ready to tear loose in the comments, because they know that DeLonge left the band before they signed on to (and ultimately bowed out of) Fyre Fest. Which sure, you are not wrong, here, but friends—you need to consider another possibility.
Do we really believe that Travis Barker, after being shown the truth by DeLonge, would really choose willful ignorance?
If you believe that, enjoy living in your fairytale fantasy where the mole people haven’t already infiltrated our above ground world, and are slowly working to turn robots against us. Enjoy your fairytale…while you can, friend.
For the rest of us, the ones with our eyes open, we know that of course there is no way after looking for UFOs for so long that Travis Barker wouldn’t be a believer in Bigfoot as well. Here’s my theory, friends:
Blink 182 cancelled on Fyre festival not because it was a sham and no facilities were available for them to safely play the show, and perhaps if they had come, it would have turned into a Lord of the Flies type of situation and none of them wanted to find out if they were Piggy or not. No, the real kicker is that they finally realized that they were being put on an established island, instead of the deserted one they were initially promise. Barker, a Bigfoot aficionado would have known that there was zero chance of finding a Bigfoot on an island with a Sandals resort, and thus had the entire band pull the plug to save their time and resources. He knew that the chances of finding Bigfoot in the Bahamas would only be good if they were able to explore a yet uncharted island—perhaps finding out where the Bigfoots summer for the season.
It all makes sense now, doesn’t it. I believe that Blink 182 was always going to pull out of the Fyre fest for Bigfoot related reasons, and not because it was a scam on everyone else, because why else would Blink 182 do anything if not in the pursuit of Bigfoot?!
I mean sure, this is just one theory. But it’s by far the most plausible explanation for the whole situation, is it not?
I rest my case.
Header Image Source: Blink 182 Instagram