Oh, By the Way ...

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | August 13, 2019 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | August 13, 2019 |

Jeffrey Epstein purportedly killed himself on Saturday while in a prison facility where no one had managed to commit suicide in 21 years. He was not on suicide watch. He did not have a cellmate. Corrections officers did not check up on him. There was at least one person overseeing Epstein who was not a corrections officer. Shrieking could be heard from his jail cell on the morning he died. No video has been released. There are a lot of people who wanted him dead. Friends believe he may have been murdered.

Whether it was murder or suicide, Epstein is dead. He will never truly face the consequences of his actions. The scores and scores of women who he and his co-conspirators sexually abused will never properly receive justice. Investigations will continue. Thousands of more pages of sealed documents will be released. More evidence will likely be found by the FBI, which continues to raid his properties. Epstein’s estate will almost certainly be apportioned among many of his victims. SDNY will continue to pursue legal claims against his estate. Even U.S. Attorney Bill Barr says that he will continue to pursue co-conspirators.

There are a lot of conspiracy theories going around at the moment. I do not care about those conspiracy theories But we keep seeing these names surface — George Mitchell, Bill Richardson, Prince Andrew, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump — and we treat those names like, “Oh ha! I wonder if they slept with teenagers?”

Narrator voice: Yeah. They probably did. Allegedly.*

No, no! Seriously! Would it help if I used those clap emojis?

Donald 👏 Trump 👏 and 👏 Bill 👏 Clinton 👏 Almost 👏 Certainly 👏 Sexually 👏 Abused 👏 Girls 👏

Allegedly.*

Bill Clinton apparently took something like 26 flights on Jeffrey Epstein’s private plane, which was called the Lolita Express. They went to Asia five times. They went to a private island. Clinton flew on the LOLITA EXPRESS to Africa with Kevin Spacey. KEVIN SPACEY, who (“allegedly”) slept with boys.

Donald Trump has years of history with Jeffrey Epstein. They hung out. They flew on each other’s planes. They lived near each other. Epstein recruited a sex slave from Mar-a-Lago. There was a lawsuit filed by a woman against Epstein and Trump that was dropped four days before the 2016 election.

Meanwhile, we know that Donald Trump has paid at least two other women for their silence before the 2016 election. Trump has a history with younger women. Both Clinton and Trump have a history of adultery. Both have been credibly accused by multiple women of sexual assault and rape. Donald Trump bragged openly about seeing naked teenagers at beauty pageants. Bill Clinton had “oral relations” with a young intern in the White House.

This is not rocket science, people!

We do not have to live in a land of make-believe and conspiracy theory to logically deduce with near certainty that Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Alan Dershowitz, Bill Richardson, Prince Andrew, George Mitchell, and many, many others behaved inappropriately with teenage girls (allegedly*), despite their many denials. Many women have made those accusations. It fits into a pattern of their behavior. Why are we waiting for the goddamn “gotcha” document or video or photograph?

Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest, because while people are debating on social media whether Trump or Clinton had a monster murdered, we seem to be forgetting the innocent lives of women possibly ruined by the 42nd and 45th Presidents of the United States (allegedly*), as well as Jeffrey Epstein.

Last week, Trump threw a fit that led to the cancellation of a movie about “elites” hunting “deplorables.” I think the irony is rich because in the 1990s and 2000s, another group of elites — billionaires, politicians, foreign dignitaries — hunted children with their dicks. And they all got away with it. Someone make that movie.

*Ahem