Remember the last time that I ran a similar headline and showed you this? You felt really old, didn’t you? You could just feel your anus prolapsing, right? But you tucked it back in, pulled yourself together, and moved on with your day, right?
Well, check out this image:
That person may not be immediately familiar to you, because you haven’t seen him regularly on television in quite some time. It turns out that, during the time in which you haven’t been seeing him, he turned 70. SEVENTY. Today, in fact, is his birthday. His 70th birthday. SEVEN-OH.
His name is Kurt Loder, and he used to be the voice of MTV News. He’s the guy that told you that Kurt Cobain had killed himself. Twenty-one years ago (which meant he must have been 49 at the time, which also must have also meant that he had a Dick Clark complex). Remember, he was on, like, every hour with one-minute updates on the world of entertainment, before second-rate sites like ours turned that into our goddamn jobs. And remember, he had his little minions, like John Norris or Alison Stewart and Gideon Yago, who probably all have podcasts on NPR now. Also, Kennedy, who is a terrible, terrible Fox News commentator/sell-out OF OUR PEOPLE.
Anyway, Happy Birthday Kurt Loder. You were the sanest voice of the MTV generation, even though you’re actually a Boomer, but you fooled us, you old coot. But thank you for not kicking us off your lawn in your 40s and 50s, because THERE WERE NO OTHER YARDS AT THE TIME.
Hat Tip: Sarah P.