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Cristina Cuomo, Wife of Chris, is the Wrong, Dangerous Kind of Woo-Woo

By Kate Hudson | Celebrity | April 26, 2020 |

By Kate Hudson | Celebrity | April 26, 2020 |


I’m going to level with you—I love woo-woo. If you ever have me in your home, it’s all but guaranteed I’m gonna ask about any resident house ghosts you might have. I may even offer to read your palm, or do a tarot spread for you, if we’re close enough. I love woo-woo. It’s fun!

So it’s safe to say I am very tolerant for woo-woo in my life. Like, very—if you tell me you’re making a huge life change because a psychic told you to, I mean—that’s as good a reason as any, if it feels right to you. However, there is a dangerous kind of woo-woo which makes some people believe their own intuition overrides scientific evidence—that is the worst kind of woo-woo, and I hate it! It makes all woo-woo people look bad. Just ask my crystal dealer/ sound bath healer!!

Friends, I am here today to tell you that Cristina Cuomo is the wrong kind of woo-woo because she’s spouting all kinds of dumb things in her quest to document how she’s combating the virus.

Per Vanity Fair:

Cristina has also been posting about the home remedies she favored throughout her and her husband’s ailments. It’s mostly benign stuff, drinking some bark juice and sending a lock of his hair to be analyzed. But when she published her “week three” diary earlier this week, she spoke of the treatments used on herself, which leapfrogged the Goop set to attain new heights. There was a paragraph on borrowing a “body charger” from a friend on the advice of an energy specialist. She wrote that it sends “electrical frequencies through the body to oxygenate blood and stimulate the healthy production of blood cells to fortify my immune system.” She wrote that she ordered an at-home I.V. She wrote of a taking a Clorox bath to combat “radiation” and do something to “metals.”

Jesus f*cking christ, people. Do you not read the labels on your household disinfectants?! I do, even though I have enough common sense to know bleach is for cleaning and not bathing. In case there was any doubt that this is a bad idea, this is pulled directly from Clorox’s own site:

Clorox® Regular Bleach2 is NOT recommended for personal hygiene of any kind-consumers should always avoid direct skin and eye contacts with both undiluted bleach, as well as prolonged contact with the various bleach solutions we recommend for household cleaning and laundry.

Notice that there’s no winky-face there telling you that even though it’s not recommended to go on right ahead—follow your heart.

I genuinely don’t understand how we went from a nation f*cking stoked about a smallpox vaccine/not dying of smallpox to weirdos on the internet bragging about bathing in bleach to treat a virus which exists on the inside of your body. So like … bathing in cleaning products probs won’t do anything except increase your chances of a yeast infection. I mean, I’m guessing, I don’t really want to Google that, to be honest.

Anyway, since she first posted that doozy of a post on her site, it’s since been updated to tell you to consult a doctor before you follow and of her terrible advice. In the immortal words of Britta, duh doy.

All I can say is that I bet even Cuomo’s house ghosts are like “what the f*ck?!” with these woo-woo remedies.

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Kate is a staff contributor. You can follow her on Twitter.

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