We all know that by this point the internet is basically a fire swamp of outrage just lying in wait for new sustenance. Sometimes the targets are justified, like when Rob Marshall announces a Mary Poppins sequel, but other times the internet must remind humans that jokes will not be tolerated. Such was the case when Chrissy Teigen, your favorite frequently naked Instagrammer of dogs and food, was asked during a Fashion Week red carpet interview last week to share her tips for a successful marriage. Teigen responded with what she says is a running joke between her and John Legend: “No hot nannies, drivers, or maids.” She followed up those comments with a jab at how she has to keep an eye on her “cute” assistant because men will “do the do.” Now, whether or not you think her joke was funny, it very clearly WAS a joke, which should only have felt pointed if you are one of three people involved in a Batfleck nanny scandal. Still, when run through the Internet Outrage Translator, what came back was something along the lines of “CHRISSY TEIGEN HATES WOMEN.” Or at the very least “Chrissy Teigen has unfair hiring practices and also maybe hates women.”
Sure, we’ve been known to latch onto stupid things celebrities say and barrage them with tweets and headlines until they apologize a few hours or days later, but Teigen made these comments LAST WEDNESDAY. Two days later, she was still under attack.
just like low carb diet of licking chips, my "no hot nannies" comment was a joke, clearly lost upon many. what is life. why must i type this— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 11, 2015
I guess literally saying it was a running joke in the house just isn't quite enough sometimes. I was ASKED this. https://t.co/edcoMzXWMr— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 11, 2015
I don't just go into random rants about hot nannies. The post asked, I jokingly answered. It isn't that fucking deep.— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 11, 2015
Did you think a weekend would get people to calm down and focus on something else? Well nope, cause it’s mid-September and there’s f*ck-all else going on! As of writing this, Chrissy Teigen’s hot nanny comments are still trending on Facebook, five days later.
hot nannies joke ruining my life— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 14, 2015
Don’t worry, though. She has the perfect self-designated punishment.
I will hire two hot nannies as penance— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 14, 2015
Congratulations, Internet, you’ve brought down that unamerican woman-hating monster a woman and laid the way for John Legend to “do the do.”
Well, whatever you think is best, my love https://t.co/bWVrtkSYws— John Legend (@johnlegend) September 14, 2015
See? Everyones a winner.