Look. I know Chris Pine won the 2017 vote for Best Chris, and Hemsworth took the title this year, being the only Chris to make it into the Pajiba Top Ten. But there is only one true Best Chris, and as the captain of the Overlord’s Team Evans, allow me to present you with the latest evidence of his worthiness.
Chris Evans called out Piers Morgan for his daddy-shaming, sexist bullshit. Yesterday, we went over how Morgan’s tweet is a tiresome example of masculinity so fragile, and offered the beefy and radiant counterpoint that is Dwayne Johnson. Today, we’ve got Captain America championing the side of non-toxic masculinity. And get this, Morgan responded by declaring (once again) HE knows more about the masculinity of a fictional character than the actor who has spent years playing him.
You really have to be so uncertain of your own masculinity to concern yourself with how another man carries his child. Any man who wastes time quantifying masculinity is terrified on the inside. https://t.co/9jsHZ3WKRn— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) October 16, 2018
Captain America wouldn’t wear a papoose. https://t.co/9FtYZ2yZF3— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 16, 2018
And that’s not all. He’s been gleefully doubling down, insisting it’s not that Daniel Craig carried a baby that Morgan took issue with. It’s HOW. It’s the “papoose.” Morgan began tweeting approval to dads who shared images of carrying their children without the apparatus and chastised others because they should “carry your baby properly. Like a caveman.”
Et tu, Stig? Come on mate, put the papoose away & carry your baby properly. Like a caveman. https://t.co/IUEhaJfcm4— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 15, 2018
Why couldn’t he use his arms, like every other generation of dads? https://t.co/x6w2WhfLvP— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 16, 2018
And he scoffs at those of you who said Craig was even sexier than usual in that pic. Because if anyone knows what hetero women find alluring, it’s a dude with a face like a slapped ass.
Oh come off it Stacey.. 😂😂 https://t.co/7pabBVPOcd— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 16, 2018
Also, the REAL problem here isn’t toxic masculinity or outdated and sexist concepts of parenthood, it’s virtue signaling.
I just expressed a genuinely held opinion that papooses are emasculating, embarrassing & unnecessary - and the virtue-signalling world’s gone bonkers. https://t.co/EvPJFPVBiz— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 16, 2018
But when UFC fighter Alex Volkanovski posted a papoose pic, Morgan made an exception.
I make an exception for UFC fighters. On self-preservation grounds. https://t.co/4djS4w0Oqk— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 16, 2018
Then, Morgan had the GALL to bring The Rock into this, and declare the action star, who happily posts pics of him cuddling his kiddos and getting his fingernails painted by them, would side with the British bloviator.
The Rock’s using his arms, not a papoose. Clearly agrees with me. https://t.co/swCQQvpxYV— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 16, 2018
Notice, he didn’t actually @ Johnson. And of course he’s ignoring the waves of pushback his comment has gotten, because I guess real men don’t use Twitter either.
Twitter never reflects what the majority of people actually think.— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 16, 2018
That’s why it explodes with shock when things like Trump & Brexit happen. https://t.co/F1IOrsRcni
Morgan will likely drag this story out for as long as he can, as he is a desperate attention-seeker. But as far as we’re concerned, this story is done. Morgan bellowed old-school piffle, the modern world rose up against it. The old man continues to yell at clouds. We’ll only update this story if Evans or Johnson responds.
Still, I can’t leave you without one more Morgan tweet, because it is at once a perfect depiction of this self-righteous, narcissistic cretin whose gods are celebrity and bullying. But also it cannot be unseen.
I’m sorry. To make amends, here’s a blessed image of Evans and his pupper.
Just some cool guys hanging out, watching The Sword in the Stone, getting ourselves pumped for Disney World. pic.twitter.com/iweZn1wqbO— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) October 11, 2018
Header Image Source: Getty