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Chris Brown is This Generation's Martin Luther King, Jr. and Jesus, Says Man Who Urinates on Children

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | December 10, 2013 |

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | December 10, 2013 |

In a truly fascinating interview, R. Kelly tells The Guardian…lots of things. But the one picking up the most traction is his comparing Chris Brown to Muhammed Ali, Martin Luther King and Jesus. Take it away, Man Hose:

“I only feel sorry for weak people. And mostly what I’ve come to find is that the weak people are the ones that are the haters. The ones that’s talking about Chris Brown, or R Kelly, or anybody that’s successful? I feel sorry for them, not Chris Brown, because he’s obviously one strong individual to be able to do what he’s done. He got knocked down a little bit and he climbed up. You know, that sounds like Ali to me. That sounds like Martin Luther King to me. That sounds like a lot of the greats that have walked this earth. It even sounds a little bit like Jesus to me.”

Plucking my eyes out of my skull lest they roll out, hitting the floor like marbles or a particularly sexy piss stream, let’s say Chris Brown is forgiven, has served his time, been contrite and made a concerted effort to change. None of those things are true, but let’s say them anyway. Even if you’re firmly Team Breezy, is the leap to “he’s a lot like Dr. King” really one you’re comfortable making? That’s…that’s a jump.