Amy Schumer, who is right on the precipice of being one of the biggest mega star comedians working today, is famous for talking about mostly sex stuff and falling down in front of people who were born with life-blandening humor deficiencies.
Tilda Swinton is a goddess come to Earth who humors us by walking around like a regular human and lets us watch her in movies because she is giving and loves us.
If this seems like an unlikely friendship, that’s the way it should be, isn’t it? Can you imagine Tilda Swinton having a likely friendship? No, you can’t. That doesn’t even make sense. Who would those friends be? These two met while filming Schumer’s upcoming movie Trainwreck, and fell in deep BFFdom.
According to Amy, being friends with Tilda Swinton is exactly what you would expect.
She’s without question one of the greatest actors of our time, but honestly, who gives a shit? Have you hung out with her? She’s the greatest friend you will ever have. She is the coolest. Hanging out with her makes me furious at everyone else I’ve ever met that they are not her. There’s no way to describe what it’s like to spend time with Tilda Swinton, other than, like, saying it’s life changing and heart stopping. And right now, you’re like, OK, relax Schumer, she’s not going to fuck you. But, like, Fuck you. She is that awesome. That someone can be that present and selfless, and still someone that you’d want to drink Scotch with till you black out. That is a real lady.
But this friendship isn’t one-sided. Swinton is just as awestruck, if less verbosely so, of Schumer.
She really likes Amy Schumer.
She even wrote Amy a poem for Time Magazine.
Amy’s got your back.
She’s in your corner.
She’s an honesty bomb.
And she’s coming for you.
So let’s all swim together in our pool filled with jealousy tears and imagine ourselves into the hugfests of these two incredible women.
These incredible women who love each other and love us enough to occasionally give us the gift of matching sweatsuits.
That’s REAL friendship.