Probably not here, but around much of the rest of the Internet, this account is going to stir controversy. It’s an account of a date with Master of None star Aziz Ansari that reveals him to be a sh*tty, aggressive, pushy guy who refuses to read or listen to all the many, many cues he’s given. Is what he did criminal? Maybe. If a woman says no, and a guy continues to aggressively touch her, that’s assault. Did what he do violate this woman, make her feel unsafe, disrespect her? Did he treat her like shit? Did he pursue her even after she said no?
Yes, yes he did. Does that warrant a lengthy piece that will undoubtedly sully the reputation of Aziz Ansari’s career? Given who Ansari purports to be — a progressive, nice-guy feminist who has actually written a book about dating — yes, I think it does.
You can read the full account over on Babe, but the gist of it is this: Aziz Ansari met a woman, asked her on a date, brought her back to his apartment, and immediately began fooling around with her. Within ten minutes, they’d basically done everything but have sex. Ansari tried to pressure his date into sex. He steered her hand toward his penis. He pressured her into oral sex, and he put some really awkward, aggressive moves on her, including — repeatedly — something she called “the claw,” which she describes thusly: “The move he kept doing was taking his two fingers in a V-shape and putting them in my mouth, in my throat to wet his fingers, because the moment he’d stick his fingers in my throat he’d go straight for my vagina and try to finger me.”
She told him she was uncomfortable. He backed off, invited her to just “chill” on the couch with him, and he started aggressively pursuing sex with her again. This happened repeatedly.
Ansari instructed her to turn around. “He sat back and pointed to his penis and motioned for me to go down on him. And I did. I think I just felt really pressured. It was literally the most unexpected thing I thought would happen at that moment because I told him I was uncomfortable.”
Soon, he pulled her back up onto the couch. She would tell her friend via text later that night, “He [made out] with me again and says, ‘Doesn’t look like you hate me.’”
Halfway into the encounter, he led her from the couch to a different part of his apartment. He said he had to show her something. Then he brought her to a large mirror, bent her over and asked her again, “Where do you want me to f*** you? Do you want me to f*** you right here?” He rammed his penis against her ass while he said it, pantomiming intercourse.
Azari’s date eventually extricated herself from the situation, and the next morning, Ansari texted her as though nothing shady had happened. She took the opportunity to explain to him how uncomfortable he made her feel, and what a terrible date he is.
23-year-old Grace* went on a date with Aziz Ansari in September. It turned out to be the worst night of her life. She told babe Ansari pulled her hand towards his penis multiple times and “kept doing it after I moved it away.” She said she remembers him asking again and again, “Where do you want me to fuck you?” Throughout the course of the night, she says she used verbal and non-verbal cues to indicate how unhappy she was. This is a conversation between them the following day where Grace tells Ansari how uncomfortable he made her feel, saying “you ignored clear non-verbal cues” and “kept going with advances.” Read the full story on babe.net.
This account, as 95 percent of women will tell you, mirrors what so many women go through when they go out with a dude. Is it unexpected? Probably not. Does that make it OK. Absolutely not.