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Are Jenny Slate and Chris Evans Back Together? Just Give Us This, Universe

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | October 24, 2017 |

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | October 24, 2017 |


Look. I know myself and my specific skillset. And that skillset is willing men who’ve worn spandex costumes in moving pictures to get back with their cute thin girlfriends, and that is my journey. Please respect it.

I first caught onto the “oh yeah they’re banging” vibes betwixt Chris Evans and Jenny Slate after they appeared on Anna Faris’s podcast. Of course since this post, everyone in the header image broke up. Such is life. But unlike most Hollywood breakups—shit, unlike most normal peasant-type breakups—the two went on about their lives, saying incredibly kind things about each other. She said of him, “His heart is probably golden-colored, if you could paint it,” and him saying of her, “She’s my favorite human.”

And then, recently, they were spotted together. “Spotted together” is journalism speak for “WE THINK THEY MIGHT BE FUCKING BUT WE CAN’T SAY FOR CERTAIN UNLESS IT’S TWO GIRLS AND THEN THEY’RE GAL PALS, PALLIN’ AROUND.”

And then…there were the tweets.

Articles reporting on this exchange are referring to them as “flirty” which is journalism speak for “KISS HIM WITH TONGUE” but really they’re just nice normal interactions friends have, which is good enough for me / potential evidence that they are rubbing their mouths together sometimes.

So does this mean they’re dating? No it doesn’t, BUT THEY MIGHT BE. I’ll take it.

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