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Amy Schumer Just Made Herself A Masterpiece, Plus Phone Sex Fun Times

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | August 26, 2015 |

By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | August 26, 2015 |


For the record, Amy Schumer was thisclose to cracking this year’s Pajiba 10. And even though the season’s over, she’s still playing hard to win our hearts and lion love.

Our first Schumer story combines two of her favorite things: 1) Getting self-deprecating on social media, and 2) Showing off the celebs she’s hanging out with that you wish you were. Schumer’s Twitter feed is like a Taylor Swift concert with the way it parades out her famous friends. But this one might be our new favorite. (Sorry, JLaw!)

It took all of two minutes for Schumer to respond with this pitch fork perfect tweet with the help of fellow American Gothic doppleganger J.K. Simmons.

(And hey, if you want to know the weird story behind that painting, I wrote about that over here.)

When she’s not slaying on social media, Schumer is obsessing over all things The Bachelor. She’s appeared on last season’s Bachelorette and even fielded a request to front her own season. But with season twenty coming up with Ben Higgins as its bachelor, the crushing comedienne called in to After Paradise to congratulate Higgins and suggest they phone sex it up.

And in case the talk of phone sex got you wondering what Schumer was wearing during that steamy call:

While the two didn’t hook-up on the show, there’s still hope, according to Higgins. He told Good Morning America, “I would love for her to come on the season. I think we should push for it. She’s hilarious, she’s been great to the show. If she wanted to come out, I wouldn’t be against it.”

No joke: if Schumer was on that show, someone here at Pajiba would actually watch The Bachelor. For fun. Not just masochism.

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H/T Uproxx, EW, E!

Kristy Puchko is using this conversation as an excuse to re-marathon UnREAL.