Alia Shawkat Details a Strange Sexual Encounter with 'F**king Weirdo' Celebrity
On the Viceland series Party Legends, Alia Shawkat shared a story about a strange sexual encounter she had at a party when she was 20 (around 2009) with a male celebrity she would not name (for obvious reasons). Basically, she approached this celeb — “smoky eyes. Kind of a mysterious, intense dude” — asked to kiss him, and he agreed.
They make out. He clears the party, and then it gets really weird.
He is directing me things to do, which was really hot. He goes, “All right. Take off all your clothes.” And then, “All right. I need you to go take a shower ‘cause I want to go down on you and I need you to be clean.” And I was like, “Okay.”
So I go into the shower. And the whole time, I’m thinking, “Can’t believe you’re in the house with this guy. Like, what’s going on? Just go with it. You’re chill.” And then I come outside. He takes the towel. He puts it down. And he makes me stand in front of the mirror. And he has a razor. “I’m gonna shave you now.” “Okay.”
So I’m looking at myself directly in the mirror with my legs open. And he’s down on his knees. And he’s shaving my vagina. And I was looking at myself like, “You’re still in there. The real you’s in there. Just enjoy this.”
So I sat on the bed. He had a warm bowl of water. He delicately shaved me fucking baby-clean. Like, nothing there. The whole time, I’m just trying to be like, “Mm-hmm. We’re into this.” And we continued to hook up. We started to have sex for a little while.
And then he completely switches.
Thereafter, this clearly older man stars saying “I can’t do this!” repeatedly asking her how old she is.
I’m thinking, “Get over your fucking self. We’re just two adults, semi trying to have a weird experience.” He was trying to make it so dramatic.
Needless to say, the two don’t spend time together anymore.
Any time I see him in a magazine or in a fucking movie… that’s the weirdest part about Hollywood because you see these people around, you know? He was just like a fucking weirdo.
I ran into him once at a bar. And he was kind of drunk. He said, “Look who it is.” I was like, “I think we should just never talk to each other again. I think that’s the best way to handle this.”“
Older, smoky eyes, a little bipolar? On magazine covers all the time. His friends were “tough, biker-looking dudes.” I mean, obviously, it’s Andy Dick. It’s always Andy Dick.