Quick survey: exactly how in love with Oscar Isaac are you? Like on a scale of 1 to Everything. If you’re anything less that “Everything,” I’m going to assume you haven’t seen A Most Violent Year, or Ex Machina, or are possibly some sort of body-snatched Stepford cyborg without human emotions or pants-area-feelings. Here are nine things Oscar Isaac is the best at, to hopefully fan the appropriately lustful fires within you.
9. The best at sharing a screen with droids. See, it’s just polite to kneel.
8. Modern day gender swapped pin-ups.
7. Being the best thing about super shitty Zack Snyder movies.
6. Being disturbingly sexy while covered in blood.
5. Also the best at maintaining his sanity while being directed by Madonna. (Was anyone else aware that W.E. was a movie that existed?)
4. He has the best opinions on robot-human relations.
3. He’s the best at making pretty sounds with his mouth and various instruments.
2. Literally every manifestation of facial hair.
1. Dancing. I know this is basically the ongoing Pajiba battlefield, the debate over who rules supreme in the realm of dancing. And yes, it’s presumptuous to call such a newcomer The Best. However…