15. Geisha Bristow — She looks like something out of a low-budget horror movie called Geisha Zombie Nymphomaniacs from Outer Space.
14. Girl Next Door — Here’s your basic girl-next-door with a Tawny Kitaen complex, which is to say: She could puncture your brain through your eyeball with her stiletto at any moment.
13. Might As Well Face It You’re Addicted to Love — I’m pretty sure Robert Palmer was dead by then, but had he still been alive, Sidney would’ve made a great Palmer Girl in this outfit. All boobs and sway.
12. Honey Trap — This one says, “A sleazy private eye paid me to seduce a man so that we’d have pictures to show his wife to justify the check she wrote us.”
11. Female Lenny Kravitz — “Are you gonna go my way.”
10. Blondie — The blond hair washes her color out, but the blue leather shimmy dress does the rest of her plenty of favors to make up for it.
9. La Femme Nikita — More like, Alias-ita, amiright? (Sorry. I got nothing except mad appreciation).
8. I’m Just a Girl in the World — It really was an ass-kicking Felicity in the beginning, wasn’t it? Except she looks more like the Pink Power Ranger (Amy Jo Johnson)
7. Goth Ginger — It’s like the Britney Spears schoolgirl outfit, if Britney did more blow and cut herself to orgasm.
6. Red Lingerie — In case someone decided that Elektra needed a sexy silk cape.
5. Ginger Lounge Singer — Nothing says sexy like a red wig, corset lingerie, and Tom Jones’ numbers.
4. Sharp Dressed (Wo)Man — Does this outfit accentuate my necklace?
3. Ginger Cat Burglar — Sidney was clearly a fan of the red wig, a predilection for which I have no issue. In this all leather outfit, she looks like she’s about to slink slowly up your body and in the moment before she makes out with your mouth, she slams your skull into the concrete and takes your keycard to get into the building housing the Rambaldi diamond (not a real thing).
2. Blue-Hair Bristow — Now starring in the BDSM version of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
1. Black Lingerie — I am male. We are a simple species.