Subject: Will Arnett, 40-year old Canadian actor & occasional comedian
Date of Assessment: July 9, 2010
Positive Buzzwords: “Arrested Development,” timing, marriage
Negative Buzzwords: Disappointment, underwhelming, squandered talent
The Case: Since this guy is commonly referred to as the father of the comedy messiah around these parts, it should be fairly interesting to declare a contrary position. I am speaking, of course, of Will “I’ve Made a Huge Mistake” Arnett. Now, I loved him in “Arrested Development” just as much as the rest of you did. However, you must understand that I’ve reviewed some really shitty Will Arnett movies — The Brothers Solomon, The Rocker, and G-Force — in recent years. For further examples of supreme awfulness, one doesn’t need to look any further than Jonah Hex, When In Rome, Hot Rod, and Let’s Go to Prison. Other than those crapfests, Arnett’s been sticking to some safe bets; that is, he’s been lending his voice to kiddie fare like Monsters vs. Aliens (although his Missing Link should have been called “Weakest Link”), Horton Hears a Who?, Ratatouille, and Despicable Me, which is such easy, underwhelming work for a once-promising comic talent. Overall, Arnett’s cinematic resumé illustrates the irrefutable point that, quite simply, Arnett’s been coasting upon the grease stain of G.O.B.-induced goodwill for far too long.
Now, while Arnett’s bank account could certainly make the case that, hey, he’s still getting steady work, the guy hasn’t been in anything memorable since the cult television show that many of us loved so much. And we saw so much promise in him that these mediocre (at best) cash grabs just don’t impress, so it’s almost sickening how Arnett has failed to parlay his talents into anything more enduring than this YouTube G.O.B. tribute. Of course, Arnett has made no secret that his career was saved by “Arrested Development,” and it’s not difficult to see why that is the case. As G.O.B., his well-timed delivery and running jokes were a huge part of the show’s appeal (certainly more than Michael Cera ever was). However, despite continued insistence from Arnett that an “Arrested Development” feature film will be made, it’s just not gonna happen. There’s still no script, and — more importantly — there’s no financing because FOX won’t put up the cash to make a movie about a show that couldn’t pull in enough passive television audience members to stay on the air.
Still, future television success remains a remote possibility for Arnett. After all, Dustin floated him as a possible Steve Carell replacement on “The Office,” a prediction that depends upon “assuming that [Arnett’s] Fox sitcom gets shitcanned by midseason, the likelihood of which is high.” So, this upcoming shitcom will probably tank miserably, but at least he’ll still have that allegedly sexy voice, which will allow him to make far too much money voicing video game and kiddie flick characters.
Prognosis: Will Arnett shall continue to endure despite his continued habit of underwhelming his fanbase. However, I proffer the theory that he’d probably not exist in contemporary Hollywood without the Amy Poehler (and thus the Greg Daniels) Connection. So, dude had better deliver foot massages to wifey on a tri-daily basis, because if they ever split, he’s so outta work.
Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at agentbedhead.com.