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Assessing Kate Hudson: Perky and Blonde Just Don't Cut It

By Agent Bedhead | Career Assessments | May 5, 2011 |

By Agent Bedhead | Career Assessments | May 5, 2011 |


Subject: Kate Hudson, 32-year old American actress

Date of Assessment: May 4, 2011

Positive Buzzwords: Cute, perky, Cameron Crowe

Negative Buzzwords: Romcom, The Academy

The Case: It’s a question that has been asked by many writers in many instances; that is, whatever happened to Kate Hudson’s career? After all, she was considered a very promising actress for one bright, shining, and spiral-curled moment. Subsequently, she’s become far less known for her film work than her very public, TMZ-fueled habit of serial monogamy (i.e., dating famous guys) with various and random musicians and athletes. While Hudson might very well have the hottest ass in Hollywood, that ass obviously had a birthright to the Hollywood connections (Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell) that helped her get the ass in the door. Following her brief interlude as a bona fide actress, Hudson proceeded to lose all interest with quality film and merely strived for the easily attainable roles that didn’t make too terribly much of a demand in the talent area. Perhaps that’s all she was ever good for anyway, and we were all just too enamored with all of that manic pixie girlishness to notice that we were being duped.

It was little more than a decade ago when, as Penny Lane in Almost Famous, Kate Hudson slipped (as if by accident) onto the scene with a Golden Globe win and an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress. Then, Hudson ceremoniously crapped all over the associated goodwill by turning into Meg Ryan 2.0 and signing onto a series of movies that encompass the most insipid brand of romantic comedy known to cinema — Dr T and the Women; How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; Alex & Emma; Le divorce; Raising Helen; You, Me and Dupree; Fool’s Gold; My Best Friend’s Girl; Bride Wars — with each of these movies growing increasingly demeaning to both Hudson and women in general. It’s not as if she goes out of her way to find the occasional romcom with a good script either, but ironically enough, Hudson wouldn’t have ever been well-suited for something like 500 Days of Summer despite successfully pulling off Penny Lane, who was one of the original manic pixie dream girls. Speaking of which, I have grown warm to the opinion that Hudson’s turn as a Band-Aide was a complete fluke and possibly even an illusion that was so carefully crafted by director Cameron Crowe that audiences couldn’t help but fall in love with Hudson too. Then, that bubble burst.

At this point, hope for a comeback might be too much to ask for at all. For a brief period a few years ago, Hudson actually formed some awareness of the fact that she’s been steadily running her career into the ground, so she signed onto a disastrous ensemble pic (Nine) and a very non-mainstream movie where her fabulous ass got pulverized (The Killer Inside Me). After these extremely uncharacteristic career moves didn’t pan out quite as expected, Hudson immediately climbed back into her romcom security blanket. Up next, Hudson shall be appearing in two more (what else?) romcoms, Something Borrowed and A Little Bit of Heaven.

Prognosis: As hard as she might try in the future, Kate Hudson will never be the next Marisa Tomei. Although Tomei also experienced some difficulty re-proving her mettle after acceptance by The Academy, Kate Hudson never really had have the acting mettle to begin with. All she ever had was a famous set of parents, a cute face, and a perky ass, none of which shall ever get her any further than the lowest circle of romcom hell. Just for the moment, let’s fruitlessly revisit the role that made Kate Hudson (almost) famous:

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at agentbedhead.com.