If January is the Hollywood dumping grounds, Super Bowl weekend is the January’s dumping grounds dumping grounds. It’s where studios release the worst of the worst, folks. Movies they want to hide away from the world, that they want to bury beneath the sea. Granted, movies can succeed on Super Bowl weekend. Last year, the phenomenal Chronicle made $22 million; Taken opened on Super Bowl weekend with $24 million; and Nicholas Sparks’ Dear John did a nice bit of counter-programming to open with $30 million.
Indeed, this weekend saw the release of Warm Bodies, which opened at number one with $18 million, and it’s almost certainly a movie that will enter the Pajiba canon (more on that tomorrow). It was, however, a disaster for Sylvester Stallone’s Bullet to the Head, which opened in 5th place with a meager $4.5 million, proving once again that The Expendables do OK together, but they’re terrible apart (see also this month’s Arnie film, The Last Stand ($6.2 million opening), and Statham’s Parker ($7 million opening). The box-office isn’t friendly to the older guys, period, as Stand Up Guys (with Pacino, Walken, and Alan Arkin) fared even worse this weekend, opening with a lousy $1.5 million.
Still, bad as they were, neither Stand Up Guys or Bullet to the Head were bad enough to be among one of the 12 worst films to open on Super Bowl weekend. Hell, not even Christian Slater’s Bed of Roses, Mandy Moore’s Because I Said So or James Marsden’s Sugar & Spice were bad enough to land in the top 12. Hell, the worst movie to open on Super Bowl weekend is one of the 100 worst movies of all time, and another was so bad that Rick Moranis never acted in a film again (OK, yes: It had nothing to do with the movie, but it was his last live-action film.
Here are the 12 Worst Films Ever to Open on Super Bowl Weekend.
Over Her Dead Body
The Wedding Planner
Isn’t She Great
When a Stranger Calls
Highlander 3: The Final Dimension
Children of the Corn II
Car 54, Where Are You?