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twilight eclipse poster.jpg

Added Reason to Be Embarrassed By the Twilight Poster On Your Wall

By Miscellaneous | | March 23, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | | March 23, 2010 |

I know, none of you give a bat’s ass about Twilight, but I saw this new poster for Eclipse today and I had to wonder what Summit is thinking. And I’m being a billion times serious here. You’ve got one of the biggest merchandise-potential franchises of the century and you’re going to make your one-sheet so cheap and plain-looking? Did you find your illustrator on Craigslist by promising “real experience in the field that will look great on your resume” in lieu of actual payment? Because that’s what it looks like. My mom has better Photoshop skills and she doesn’t even know what Photoshop is (okay, she kind of does, but once she IM’d my brother to ask, “what’s the name of the program that you photoshop with?”). Considering the creative designs for director David Slade’s prior films (Hard Candy and 30 Days of Night), it’s even sadder that this is the best you’ve got.

This isn’t just any movie poster. This thing could end up on millions of walls of teen bedrooms, dorm rooms and possibly some sad adults’ living rooms. Or is that your point, that you don’t have to put any work into something you know the fans will buy it at Hot Topic anyway? Nice way to treat the people who pay your salaries. Honestly, even if I were the biggest Twilight fan in the world I’d rather plaster my walls with these ten posters than than this one for Eclipse (and despite the list’s host site coincidentally resembling my Twitter name, I assure you there is no relation).

Maybe I’m so heated about this thing because I’m having my own personal trouble with finding wall-worthy movie posters from my favorite films with which to redecorate my office and living room. See, I really want to represent The Fisher King, but I’ve never like the available posters. I guess with something like Twilight, there could be something fan-made for other fans to put on their walls instead of the official artwork. Like what I just got to represent my Time Bandits fandom.

Anyway, let’s use this opportunity to sound off on what movie posters are hanging on our walls. Nah, just kidding. Instead tell me which of your favorite movies you wish you could represent if only the poster design didn’t suck ass. First, though, here are some other reactions to the Twilight one-sheet:

  • Kyle Buchanan at Movieline:
    New Eclipse Poster Reveals Most Awkward Threesome Ever […] Did Taylor Lautner just get back from a Caribbean vacation or something? Dude is like John Boehner-level tan.
  • Russ Fischer at /Film:
    Apparently, this is a movie about gloomy, intense stares and making choices. And I thought the issue of pregnancy wasn’t going to crop up until the final chapter, Breaking Dawn.
  • Col. Hans Longshanks at Screen Junkies:
    The new one-sheet for Twilight: Eclipse just hit and the cast couldn’t look more apathetic about it. I believe the point here is to convey that the actors Twihards cream over will also be in this film. The marketing gurus probably figured they could have given the characters assholes for eyes and it wouldn’t make a difference at the box office.
  • Devin Faraci at
    What is Twilight Saga: Eclipse about? Don’t look to this poster for any clues - it seems to be about a trio of people hanging out in the fog. I don’t know that this is the most generic, uninteresting, unevocative poster of all time, but it’s surely close. Like, right in the top three.
  • Mark at I Watch Stuff:
    Which male dead-eyed stare will the female vacant stare choose??? I can’t wait! This is the best Comatose Sadie Hawkins Day ever! Yay!
  • Mike Sampson at
    As you might imagine it features three heavily Photoshopped stars just standing around. Looking at you. Gazing into your soul. It is quite possibly one of the worst posters I have ever seen. But that will not stop you from squealing when you see it (whether that is in disgust or excitement remains up to you).
  • Ray DeRousse at Obsessed with Film:
    The newest poster for the upcoming Eclipse film shows almost no imagination, emotion, energy, or thought. The poster, like the others in the series, simply has some or all of the characters standing there, expressionless, as they stare back at the camera. How creative! The team behind this masterpiece clearly spent many hours rearranging photographs of the leads in Photoshop to come up with such a bold visual statement. They have a long career ahead of them advertising coffins.

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