By Miscellaneous | | March 11, 2010 |
By Miscellaneous | | March 11, 2010 |
I’d like to think Warner Bros.’ decision to make a supernatural action movie starring Leonardo Da Vinci has nothing to do with The Da Vinci Code, the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot or even this thing. Instead, I want this to have been inspired by Hudson Hawk, which is certainly a cult classic now and can rightly be considered something worth inspiring other stuff.
At the very least I hope the makers of Leonardo Da Vinci and the Soldiers of Forever (yes, that’s the real treatment title) realized there’s something more to be done with the historical figure’s before-its-time flying machine than putting Bruce Willis and Andie MacDowell in it. Though, I guess it’s very likely that Willis (or Nic Cage) will end up being cast in this thing. MacDowell looks more the part, though, given that she looks more like the Mona Lisa, which we all know (without having to exhume his bones) was really Da Vinci in drag.
Speaking of drag, you know to which movie this will end up as a great double-feature companion? No, not Marco Polo or Abe Lincoln, Vampire Hunter or National Treasure 5. That J. Edgar Hoover biopic. Unless, of course someone buys either my treatment for Caravaggio in Space or the one titled Gauguin’s Magical Island of Syphilis.
Here are some ideas people have for this thing. None of which are any crazier than the initial concept:
I stress that I am not making this up. Imagine the Da Vinci Code if Tom Hanks was actually Leonardo Da Vinci. […] If they don’t reimagine this drawing as an eight-limbed, CGI monster in 3D I will eat my own sh*t.
Da Vinci’s a facinating figure, and we’re not entirely surprised that someone’s come up with this idea. Among his sketches were early prospective designs for the helicopter, the tank, wings to enable flight, and shoes to walk on water (although none were ever built), so that’s three or four set-pieces right there. Da Vinci has long thought to have been homosexual (he was tried, but acquitted of sodomy in 1476), but we imagine that’ll be roundly ignored in the context of a big action tentpole, unless the studio are feeling very brave.
Strangely, I’m not entirely against this idea. Leonardo da Vinci was clearly a man who had much going on in his life. Although mainly known for his paintings and sculptures, he was also a brilliant, visionary inventor whose technical drawings were hundreds of year ahead of their time. In such a re-imagining, it might be fun to see da Vinci wield some steam-punkish weapons and gadgets in his fight against the underworld. He could be like a Renaissance-era James Bond. It’s starting to sound better, isn’t it?
Who’ll play the bearded one. Anthony Hopkins? Michael Gambon? Wait — next thing you’ll be telling me that this will be about a young, hip Leonardo Da Vinci. Which will probably be too much even for me.
Thinking about it more and more, it could make for a pretty interesting and rather cool film. I’m just curious who they will cast as Da Vinci, as it needs to be someone with a lot of presence and maybe even charm. I don’t suppose they could get Sherlock himself, Robert Downey Jr., on-board? Wishful thinking, I suppose…
Leonardo and his Soldiers of Forever using primitive helicopters and the first tanks to kill some unholy demons and, hopefully, save Mona Lisa? I wish I had a complaint about this, but thus far everything seems to be on track. You may continue.
By endorsing Copernicus’ unpopular theory that the Earth was not in fact the center of the universe, Galileo Galilei made himself something of a target as well — a target of an alien empire that can’t risk the possible exposure of the universe’s greatest truths, that is. Abducted by intergalactic warriors and forced into slavery, Galileo must unite an oppressed people to rise up with him, fight for truth and spread the word to everyone back on Earth.
I eagerly await future films that show Charles Dickens fighting off figments of his imagination, and Christopher Columbus battling Poseidon trident-a-trident. Don’t let me down, Hollywood.