Lose Weight The Megyn Kelly Way: By Asking To Be Called A 'Fat-Ass'
Look, I’m sorry. Nobody likes to be reminded that Megyn Kelly is still “a thing.” I certainly didn’t need to get smacked upside the head with a reminder of her existence either, but here we are. So now that we’re all grappling with cruel reality… how are things going over in Megyn Kelly’s strange little corner of NBC’s TODAY studio, anyway?
Oh, you know. Awkward and fat-shamey.
Today on Megyn Kelly TODAY (<- that right there is why I avoid having to write about her — holy crap do I feel like a numbskull putting those words together in that order), Megyn spoke with a guest that you ALSO have probably blocked from your memory: the so-called “Fit Mom” Maria Kang. Here’s a refresher:
Bear with me. So. “Fit Mom” has rebranded herself, swapping out “What’s Your Excuse?” for the less confrontational new slogan “What’s Your Reason?” (as you can see above). And she sat down with Megyn to talk about why she’s trying to focus more on people’s motivations for wanting to be fit, rather than their reasons for not getting in shape. She wants to be an inspiration! But let’s be honest — mostly it’s because she got a lot of backlash for coming off as a fat-shaming bully.
But look, we’re not here to dig deep on Kang’s rebranding. We’re here to talk about how fucking weird and awkward Megyn Kelly is. Like, for example, when she goes on a rant about how her “lactivist” (breast-feeding activist) friends should be selling their movement on the premise of how many calories it burns. 500 calories a day! Wow! That’s DEFINITELY the reason to give babies breastmilk from real breasts, amirite?
But then Megyn followed it up with this super charming, not-at-all creepy little story right here:
“You should parlay the shaming thing into a professional business. Because some of us want to be shamed. When I was in law school, I was gaining weight, I said to my stepfather, ‘If you see me going into that kitchen one more time, you say, ‘Where you going, fat ass?’ And it works!”
So, I know it sounds like Megyn Kelly is promoting the dieting benefits of getting fat-shamed, but c’mon — is it even shaming if you’re asking someone to do it? Maria Kang doesn’t seem to think so — she has her husband kick her out of bed and steal her potato chips to help her stay motivated. “And I don’t feel ashamed about it, because I know I told him what my goal was.”
See? It’s not fat-shaming if you ASK to be fat-shamed, people.
And now that we’re all caught up on everything we’ve been missing on that extra seventieth hour of TODAY, you can go back to ignoring that it OR Megyn Kelly ever existed while I go back to growling anytime anyone dares touch my Fritos.