For many of the shows on our Top 20 of the Last 20, as well as a few that almost made the cut (sorry, J.J.) it all started here with a show that had a cult following rivaling that of “Star Trek” (at least on the small screen). Back when the Internet was still mostly used for email and buying the occasional book, back before there were blogs and webisodes and online fan sites (with the exception of those eye-gouging geocities’ sites, of course), and back when cell phones were still the size of a small brick, there was a little-seen show that debuted on pre-“American Idol” Fox that finished its first season 104th in the ratings. Slotted on Friday nights, the show was largely ignored by audiences, as well as the network, which had focused most of its attention on what was thought to be its surefire hit, Bruce Campbell’s “The Adventures of Briscoe County, Jr.” But, for Fox, being what it was at the time (a network with only one hit, “The Simpsons”), a show with a small following airing on Friday nights was enough to get it renewed for a second season, allowing it to gets its legs without meddling suits market-testing the life out of the product. And unlike most shows vying for mainstream success, most of which simplify the plotlines, slash overarching storylines, and dumb down the characters (see “Veronica Mars” Season Three), this show grew increasingly complex as it began to pick up viewers (it finished 64th in the ratings after its second season). With a small but growing fan base and a fledgling network, the show’s producers and writers were comfortable in the knowledge that their drama wasn’t about to be cancelled, which allowed them the freedom to slowly develop the show’s complicated mythology (can you even imagine a network with that much patience today?). But that freedom eventually paid off, because over the course of the next four seasons the show would gain a massive following, move from Friday nights to the more viewer-friendly Sunday nights, and become — ultimately — the most commercially successful show on the network, as well as in our 20 of 20, before eventually fizzling out and crashing with an almost silent thud during its final three seasons. [Author’s Note: All seasons subsequent to six didn’t exist in the author’s mind and therefore any consummation between Scully and Mulder which may have taken place will be disregarded for purposes of this piece).
That show, of course, was “The X-Files,” one of televisions few dramas capable of increasing its level of complexity while maintaining a growing audience (to a point, of course, and that point being Season Seven). Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) were to paranormal investigations what Lenny Brisco and Ed Green were to homicides, a conduit through which we could explore the world of unexplained phenomena. A summa cumme laude grad at Oxford University, Mulder (nickname: Spooky) joined the FBI Academy with a background in psychology. Mulder’s career, ney, life was driven by his desire to find answers that would help him explain, wrap his head around, and come to terms with his sister’s supposed alien abduction when he was 12. After several years investigating violent homicides, he was assigned to The X-Files, a pseudo-secret operation beyond the normal scope of the FBI. He believed that the X-Files contained clues to the truth about the existence of alien life and the abduction of his sister.
Scully, a medical doctor — a scientists, damnit — did her undergraduate work in physics and later obtained a medical degree. She was the duo’s skeptic, a non-believer assigned as Mulder’s partner to help keep him in check, to offer scientific explanation for the strange, other-worldy encounters they often witnessed. She was secretly assigned by the Syndicate (a shadow government, more powerful than the U.S. government, whose job it was to cover-up knowledge of alien life) so that she could scientifically disprove Mulder’s theories (Mulder was too well known to murder; he’d be a martyr. So, the Syndicate set out to discredit him). Together and sometimes with, but most often without, the blessing of their superiors at the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Scully and Mulder took on the gamut - vampires, psychic serial killers, time travel, inbreeds, golems, shape-shifters, ghosts, environmentally-created mutants, cancer suckers, Darwin’s A-students, and yes: Aliens. Little green men with UFOs and master plans.
In addition to gripping plotlines and an abiding love of the paranormal and conspiracy theories, what made “The X-Files” so much more watchable than your average sci-fi serial drama was Scully’s skepticism, the way she could frequently ground the unreal in science, or at least a brand of believably made-up science. She was Velma to Mulder’s Shaggy, unafraid of what she did not believe. Mulder, who embodied “The X-Files” droll sense of humor, its willingness to spin an unbelievable yarn, its conspiracy nutcasery, and its obsession with things beyond our understanding, was balanced evenly by Scully’s skepticism and her insistence on explaining the unexplainable, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Scully is what kept the average watcher, the guy without a bookshelf of Heinlein or the stack of conspiracy literature, from turning off the show mid-way through an episode, loudly proclaiming, “That show is fucking dumb. I’ve seen more believable crap in The National Enquirer ” (though most fans of the show will probably admit that there were at least three dozen times where they wanted to choke Scully with their gloved hands and scream, “Open your eyes, lady! How many times do you have to witness the unexplainable before you’ll believe! Goddamn.)
Given the limitations of my keyboard, as well as my remaining time to live (roughly 51.2 years, barring heart and liver disease) I can barely scratch the surface of the “X-Files” mytharc. Though it is easier to explain and less complicated than the brain-sharting mindfuck over on “Lost,” there is a complexity “The X-Files” mythology that had never been seen on network or cable television at the time, save for the more avant-garde Twin Peaks (some argue that “The Sopranos” introduced the dense, convoluted series-long plotlines; I’d argue it was “The X-Files,” while “The Sopranos” merely injected profanity and higher production values). The general gist of it is this: Mulder’s kid sister was abducted; Mulder opens The X-Files to examine the existence of extraterrestrial life, as well as the facts behind the abduction of his sister. The Syndicate is behind the cover-up of extraterrestrial life (the Syndicate also had ties to the assassination of JFK and Martin Luther King). Behind all of this was a meteorite, which crashed to the Earth millions of years ago and unleashed a “Black Oil,” with an aim to infect and colonize the planet (the black oil was to be spread through the use of infected honey bees). The Syndicate, which has or had in its ranks at one time or another, the Cigarette Smoking Man and William Mulder (together, Fox Mulder’s biological and adopted fathers) was more or less in the back pocket of the alien colonizers, or so the colonizers believed. Scully and Mulder, through the X-Files, were attempting to uncover and subvert the alien colonization plot, and throughout the series, both were abducted and nearly killed at one time or another. Moreover, at various times during the show’s run, the Syndicate (usually through the Cigarette Smoking Man) had either tried to eliminate Mulder and Scully or manipulate them to their advantage.
That’s about as bare bones as it gets, and it truly fails to do any justice to the actual mythology — for people who haven’t watched “The X-Files,” you’ll have to trust me that it’s not as ludicrous as that outline suggests. Or maybe it is, but credit series creator Chris Carter, regular writer Frank Spotnitz, and frequent director Rob Bowman, as well as the stellar cast, for producing a show that made it easy to look past its ludicrosity and wallow around helplessly in the muck of the mytharc.
All of which made choosing a season between three and six a nearly impossible task, and I admit I’ve waffled during the course of my research (waffling which allowed me to re-watch three full seasons under the guise of doing work — it’s a tough life we critics lead). Though not the best season, my personal favorite was probably season six, which focused less on the mytharc (there were only three mythology episodes) and more on the monster-of-the-week episodes, many of which concentrated on the growing bond between Mulder and Scully (I’m a romantic, goddamnit). Season Six’s stand-alones were also a little more lighthearted, containing a lot of black humor and guest stars, as well as one of my favorite episodes, “Dreamland,” a two-parter in which Mulder switches body with a character played by Michael McKean (Season Six also featured, inarguably, the worst episode of the first six seasons, “Triangle,” a time-warp episode that took place in the Bermuda Triangle. Blurgh). Season Six is my personal favorite because I’ve always preferred the stand-alone episodes, but then again, I’m not an “X-Files” purist, many of whom believed that Season Six was where the show began its steady decline.
I’d also strongly considered Season Five in combination with the season-ending big-screen film, Fight the Future, and even had it in mind when I began to write the piece. At the time, because the movie was being filmed, the writers were forced to come up with a lot of creative ways to work around Duchovny and Anderson’s shoot schedules, which gave rise to an origins episode on The Lone Gunmen, as well as several episodes in which the two main characters worked alone. Season Five also explored more fully Scully’s Catholicism and the strange paradox between her faith in God and her lack of faith in extraterrestrial life, given the lack of evidence in either. Season Five’s stand-alone stand-outs were a “Post-Modern Prometheus,” a retelling of Frankenstiein filmed only in black and white, and one of the top five episodes of the run, “Bad Blood,” featuring Luke Wilson and a town full of vampires who just wanted to fit in.
Ultimately, however, I chose to go with Season Four, primarily for two reasons: 1) the mythology episodes presented most of the questions that Season Five (and the movie) would eventually answer, and — as with most serial dramas that have long narrative arcs — the questions were much more interesting than the answers (a challenge “Lost” has conveniently worked around by introducing more and more questions while providing few goddamn answers), and 2) because Season Four has the best stand-alone episode of the series. In fact, six years after the show ended, you can ask nearly any casual or die-hard fan of the show which episode stuck out the most, and eight out of ten will invariably say, “Home,” likely the single most terrifying episode ever aired on network television, an episode you’d be wise to never watch alone, in the dark, late at night unless, of course, you enjoy the sensation of shit running down your leg, shit which will be scared out of your bowels by an elderly amputee charged with continuing the family line by screwing her deformed, mutant sons. Yeah. We’re talking inbred horror, 42 minutes that will fuck you up. I cannot recommend it enough.
Among other highlight in Season Four was “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man,” which tied CSM and the Syndicate to the aforementioned assassinations of JFK and MLK, Jr., as well as a conspiracy to prevent the Buffalo Bills from winning the Super Bowl. There was also “Unruhe,” which dealt with a creepy fat man (Pruitt Taylor Vince), who was a serial killer who lobotomized his victims. “Never Again,” about a man with a tattoo that controlled his mind, also introduced the unpleasant idea of Scully having sex (Scully, in my estimation, is smoking hot and completely asexual and the thought of her having sex with anyone, Mulder included, always seemed wrong to me). “Leonard Betts,” which aired after the Super Bowl that year, is another favorite — it was about an EMT who could regenerate by absorbing the cells of cancer patients (the episode also revealed that Scully had cancer), allowing him to regrow his head. “Kaddish” was another creepy horror episode, about a Golem that inflicted its murderous revenge on a few neo-Nazis. And finally, among stand-out stand-alones was “Small Potatoes,” an episode similar in nature to Season Six’s “Dreamland,” where a shape-shifter took on the appearance of Mulder and tried to get into Scully’s pants (both “Small Potatoes” and later “Dreamland” revealed, unsurprisingly, that Scully was totally into Mulder’s Hammer, and by Hammer, I mean penis.). “Small Potatoes” also officially introduced the idea of Sculder, hinting at a romantic relationship between the two leads.
The inner-workings of that budding romance was fleshed out in the mythology episodes, beginning in the episode that signaled the darker turn “The X-Files” would take for the rest of the season, “Memento Mori,” wherein Scully confirms that she has cancer. Scully reveals during this arc just how much Mulder means to her and how much she has grown to depend on him; in subsequent episodes, Mulder reveals a similar affection, borne out in his dogged pursuit of a cure for her cancer. Agent Skinner (Mitch Pileggi), the assistant director in charge of The X-Files and a character with theretofore suspicious motives, exposes his true nature when he makes a deal with Cigarette Smoking Man to save Scully’s life. Mulder also travels to Russia, where he and another mythology regular, Krycek, are thrown into the gulag and experimented on — Mulder is even briefly inhabited by the Black Oil. The mythology episodes ultimately end in the fourth season with “Gethsamane,” which leads us to believe that Mulder is dead and ultimately (in the fifth season), changes our perception of the entire mythology, from a belief that the government is trying to cover-up aliens to a belief that it’s actually trying to hide deeper, darker Cold-War truths beneath an elaborate conspiracy to distract the public’s attention away from those truths and toward the possibility of extra-terrestrial life, a notion that completely fucks up Mulder’s worldview and the direction of the show (“The conspiracy is not to hide the existence of extraterrestrials. It’s to make people believe in it so completely that they question nothing.”)
Overall, “The X-Files” provided a template that subsequent shows like “Alias,” “BSG” and “Lost” would adopt for developing complicated myth arcs, though I’d argue that “The X-Files” did it better, by not only actually providing satisfying answers to its many questions, but by separating the show’s mythology episodes from its stand-alone episodes, the latter of which dominated each season, giving the casual viewer of intelligent television something to watch, while also appealing to a smaller, geekier, more obsessive fan base with episodes meant to be pored over, rewatched, dissected, and discussed in AOL chat rooms and alt. bulletin boards. “Star Trek” may have been the original geek show, but “The X-Files” was the modern one, a show that blended sci-fi, horror, and procedural elements with the smallest touch of romantic intrigue — never enough to alienate its viewers or even force a coupling to satiate them, but just enough to leave them curious and maybe slightly hopeful, knowing, of course, that if the two leads ever openly consummated their relationship, the series would be tainted, turned into another melodramatic soap opera, a show where the aliens, mutants, and freaks would take a backseat to arguably the best onscreen couple in the history of television, and certainly the most complicated, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully.
Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. He lives with his wife and son in Portland, Maine. Please leave a comment or send an email.
Bottle Shock | | Pajiba Love 08/22/08 |
Comments
I would've gone with Season Five, but Four is acceptable to me. Well done, sir.
Posted by: Alice at August 12, 2008 2:08 PM
Finally! Some X-Files on the list... one of the most Quality television programs ever. Though it did get pretty shaky by the end of season six...
Posted by: meghan at August 12, 2008 2:10 PM
Cigarette Smoking Man = One of my favorite television characters ever.
(Scully, in my estimation, is smoking hot and completely asexual and the thought of her having sex with anyone, Mulder included, always seemed wrong to me).
Completely agree. Back in the day, Fox Mulder had that mysterious, sexy thing going. But while GA has retained her beauty, poor DD seems to have aged poorly and at double the rate.
Posted by: Cindy at August 12, 2008 2:11 PM
This is how bad the marketing was for the X-Files in the beginning: I didn't watch most of the first season because I thought it was a reality show featuring real FBI agents talking about how they debunked UFO sightings.
I remember watching "Home". Fox aired a "Viewer Discretion Advised" warning before the episode, and I remember thinking "I've never seen that before. Are they going to air that before every episode now?" Fortunately, the show was still on Friday nights then, because I was afraid to go to sleep that night after watching what the Peacocks did to Sheriff Taylor.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 12, 2008 2:25 PM
Ohthankyousoverymuch!This review was perfect Dustin.
I have been waiting for an X-Files season review. I have been a staunch supporter of all things X-Files since the tender young age of 12. I am now 25 and currently just at the end of re-watching season three.
David Duchovny gets a free pass from me. Especially since I JUST saw his role in Twin Peaks. YOWZA that man makes me drool even in a wig and dress.
Gillian Anderson is amazing and a great role model/female lead. I love the way she is always kicking ass in her power suits and blouses. High heels? No problem! Business slacks? All the easier to kick an alien in the throat. I would totally do her even without ever having seen above her ankle or a glimpse of the cleav.
(must leave desk to visit private place for a few minutes...)
Posted by: Just Amanda at August 12, 2008 2:29 PM
Also:
1. Triangle as the worst of the first six seasons? Really? C'mon - Ghost in the Machine? Space? FIRE? There were far worse episodes then ones involving wacky time travel hijinx.
2. I fondly remember Home as the episode that almost got my 7th grade science teacher fired. We were learning about genes, and I mentioned this episode and he said he'd heard about it and asked me to bring in a copy so that students could watch. He assured me it would be a good way to start a discussion. Which meant the next class period ended with 30 terrified and/or sobbing 12 year olds, 1 teacher who realized he probably should've watched the episode first, and me thinking I should never again connect the things I learn to the things I watch.
Posted by: Alice at August 12, 2008 2:41 PM
Season 4 is a good choice and thank goodness TXF finally made it onto this list. I saw it from the first episode and was hooked all the way through S7.
I'm still so attached to some of the moments on this show that I got mad at you as I read this review because you were spoiling them -- as if a decade + isn't enough time.
One thing you didn't mention was the gorgeous cinematography and Mark Snow's score -- both of which were, IMO, critical to the show's success. (S3's "Grotesque" is a great example of both.)
BTW, your last sentence is practically Dickensian in its length and complexity -- Congtrats!
Posted by: Louise at August 12, 2008 2:45 PM
Oooh. Good choices. I love love love everything about the X-Files, although the last 3 seasons do not exist for me, either. The idea of a sexy, brilliant couple who can make me swoon with a touch of their hands...Never been duplicated.
One other thing. Home scared the bejesus out of me. I have never watched it since that first time, cowering in a dorm room bed with my roommate and her boyfriend, all of us watching through fingers covering our eyes. And I to this day cannot listen to Johnny Mathis without wanting to pee myself!!!
Posted by: Pixie at August 12, 2008 2:47 PM
Brava.
Posted by: eurotrashwonton at August 12, 2008 2:52 PM
If I had to choose one, I'd have gone with season three, as that's the season in which Darin Morgan revealed himself as one of the best television writers ever.
Season four is great, though. The Scully cancer arc is brilliant, particularly the way that Carter and company weaved it into the stand-alone episodes. (The ending of "Elegy" in particular creeped me out.)
One episode in season four that you didn't mention that I think is one of the most underrated (and makes my top ten for the entire show) is "Paper Hearts." The way that it shook Mulder's faith in the cause of Samantha's disappearance was striking. Tom Noonan made a great villain, and I found the whole tale very unsettling.
"Herrenvolk" might have been my favorite season opener. It made great use of the alien bounty hunter coming off a terrific cliffhanger, and it taught me not go near an apiary.
As for "Gethsemene." Obviously Mulder wasn't going to kill himself, but Duchovny knocked it out of the park in that pre-suicide scene. I truly believed that he could do it out of guilt over Scully.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 12, 2008 2:58 PM
Alice>> Good story about "Home."
Louise>> Good call on Mark Snow. I was going to mention him in my mention of "Paper Hearts" as having some of his standout work. As always, a good composer can take a great movie/tv show and turn it into the transcendent, as Snow did with much of X-Files.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 12, 2008 3:02 PM
I totally agree, Dustin. S4 is the "best" season and nothing happened after S6. Whenever I catch a S8 or S9 episode on Sci-Fi, I feel so bad for Scully - she looks so lost and bored without Mulder.
And to be fair - seasons 1-6 all had their highs and lows. Possessed/evil kitty cats, anyone? Yeesh.
Posted by: Scourgie at August 12, 2008 3:03 PM
Hurray! Ask and ye shall receive. This was my favorite season, and Im definitely one of the majority that would call Home my favorite episode of the series (followed closely by Humbug and Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose). These are two of the best characters in the history of TV, and I can especially appreciate them these days when a vast majority of TV characters are one note, one joke, one dimension. I could also go for hours about the way the show upended many gender stereotypes and never gave in to the conventional romantic relationship, even as the audience clamored for it, brilliantly blended humor and drama and integrated the mythology with the standalones. But I won't. Instead I'll just say that the truth is in my pants. And Mulder can come find it.
Posted by: MG at August 12, 2008 3:09 PM
I also would've gone with Season 5, but I'm okay with 4, although I would argue that 1. "Triangle" is actually a really, really awesome episode, and 2. the show was less good after Season 6, but both Seasons 7 and 8 had some good episodes, with Season 8 being pretty okay except it was so damn miserable with Mulder abducted and Scully pregnant. I also liked the series finale, "The Truth", a lot.
Posted by: Anna at August 12, 2008 3:16 PM
My first episode? Introduced Eugene Tooms to my 13 year-old self. Babysitting. Alone. At night. In a basement. Good lord.
Excellent pick on Season 4, it holds a warm and squicky place in my heart. Season 5 was good, but it's too close to the shark-jumping shittyness that consumed my favorite show. I skipped school to attend the filming of The End, and it was awesome, and then the movie happened, and la la la la giant fuzzy hole of denial. Doggett who?
Posted by: Lauren at August 12, 2008 3:19 PM
poor DD seems to have aged poorly and at double the rate.
Really? See, I just watched season 1 of Californication and remarked to my pseudo-husband that there's just something so hot about Duchovny, even now.
Anyway. Love this season. "Home". Brrr. Poor old Mrs. Peacock, rolling around on her trundle bed. And "Unruhe" was the beginning of my love for the lovely Pruitt Taylor Vince and his nystagmus. (I hadn't really noticed him earlier in Wild at Heart or Jacob's Ladder. What can I say? I was young and foolish. Also, I just discovered that he was in the greatest of all missing-kid tv-movies, I Know My First Name is Steven.)
Good times.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatzhausen-jr.-in-defer...what-the-hell?! at August 12, 2008 3:20 PM
By the way, I was just on Amazon re-buying X-Files Season 4 and Chappelle's Show season 1 because my ex-friend absconded to Cleveland with my copies, and I saw that they are selling the complete Arrested Devlopment DVD set for $45.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 12, 2008 3:23 PM
I also think the X-Files is notable for having some of the creepiest sounding episode titles ever.
Posted by: prawntastic at August 12, 2008 3:25 PM
Well done on summing up the mytharc of this show. After watching and loving X-Files for all of the seasons, I still wouldn't have been able to do that.
And Cindy, you are so, SO wrong about David Duchovny.
Posted by: katy at August 12, 2008 3:30 PM
...and while I was making my X-Files Amazon purchase (at home with the doors and windows open), I started singing "David Duchovny, why won't you love me?" right when the FedEx guy came up my walk with a package. I don't care how stupid I sounded, because he brought my MurderTank shirt!
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 12, 2008 3:39 PM
(both "Small Potatoes" and later "Dreamland" revealed, unsurprisingly, that Scully was totally into Mulder's Hammer, and by Hammer, I mean penis.)
hee
I had a friend in middle school who was obsessed with this show, like absolutely obsessed...to a scary degree. She made binders with printed out images and notes for every episode and would bring them into school and show everybody (even though nobody really wanted to see them). She named her cats after the main characters. She wrote stories in lit class about meeting Mulder and them running away together. in 7th grade.
ok, so maybe "friend" is too strong a word, but it put me off the show for years
after this review I am willing to give it a try, but you have three epsodes to convince me
which should I try to find and watch?
Posted by: Bethy at August 12, 2008 3:41 PM
I think I was a sophomore in high school when I watched my first episode of the X-Files in its first season. Mulder and Scully were hunting the Jersey Devil, which was actually some sort of neanderthal couple living in the woods. I was intrigued, and tuned in the next week, which featured a charming mutant serial killer that I dubbed "The Liver Man." Which scared the everliving shit out of me. And I was hooked.
But for real, are you guys badmouthing Briscoe County Jr? You really want to go there?
Posted by: Kevbo at August 12, 2008 3:42 PM
Dear Pajiba:
I now realize that this list is so awful it must have been intentional. Creating a list of the best seasons of television of the last 20 years and somehow making it so that the Sopranos was never mentioned is a work of satire so brilliant that Jonathan Swift would have peed himself if only he could have aspired to it.
The inclusion of such schlock as Battlestar Galactica while leaving out the most influential shows on television from the recent past such as Seinfeld and Law and Order is a move that skewers the very notion that there could ever be anything called valid criticism. In retrospect I see that the entire last year of the website has been dedicated to this very purpose. In this time, there has been no decline in quality; there has just been a change in mission statement.
All those times I said that people would look at this list in retrospect and die laughing were actually inadvertant words of encouragement. That's exactly the response you'd been looking for all along. Like the best satirists you didn't admit your mission and admit it was satire, instead you gazed unflinchingly at the audience and dared me to laugh. And oh, now I am definitely laughing.
Your comrade in arms,
Sirkickyass
Posted by: Sirkickyass at August 12, 2008 3:44 PM
Bethy,
Three good and scary stand-alone eps from the 1st season are "Squeeze", "Ice", and "Beyond the Sea". They require no knowledge of the mytharc.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 12, 2008 3:49 PM
Does anyone else think that Sirkickyass is actually Pookie? They have the same brand nonsensical, self-importance, but Sirkicky, for reals, Pookie pulls it off. This ... I don't know. Needs more hos.
Posted by: The Great Mango at August 12, 2008 3:49 PM
Best things about the X-Files;
*Mulder snark
*The nerd guys
*Smoking man
*Alex Krycek
Once it lost those, it stopped being fun
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 12, 2008 3:50 PM
To those who doubt the demise of David Duchovny, I submit the following evidence:
Posted by: Cindy at August 12, 2008 3:51 PM
Posted by: Cindy at August 12, 2008 4:01 PM
Thank you! The X-Files is one of my all-time favourite shows, and has been ever since my parents suck my brother and I in front of the TV on a Friday night while they were upstairs partying with friends. We were scared shitless (I was 12, my brother 9), and naturally became hopelessly addicted.
@Lauren: I skipped school for the taping, too! Good times. Gillian Anderson was tiny and adorable, and so overwhelmed by all the fans who came out for the taping of the last episode filmed in Vancouver (she wasn't in the scene, but stopped by GM Place with Krycek before filming started).
Posted by: Lisa at August 12, 2008 4:08 PM
I KNOW . . . I got to HUG him . . . he smelled delicious and not at all like a rat.
Mmmmm. Krycek.
Posted by: Lauren at August 12, 2008 4:13 PM
So seriously, does ANYONE including the Pajiba reviewers actually think that all of the 19 shows selected by Pajiba are better than the Sopranos?
Is that even a defensible position?
Doesn't that pretty much mean that the whole thing is invalid?
Posted by: Sirkickyass at August 12, 2008 4:21 PM
You got to hug him?! I'm officially jealous (although I'm still slightly more jealous of Jewel Staite, who got to "kiss" my Mulder in Oubliette).
@Bethy, I won't offer any new recommendations (for fear of being personally responsible for turning you off of this fantastic show), but I will second Three-nineteen's choice of "Squeeze". It's a damn creepy episode, and one of my favourites.
Posted by: Lisa at August 12, 2008 4:22 PM
Wow. I haven't watched these in too long, but reading the titles and character names I'm right back in college. "Alien bounty hunter", I'd totally forgotten about him! Ahhh, Ratboy and that black lung bastard. William B. Davis's college speaking tour brought him to UGA a couple days after "Home" had aired. He said, "yeah, that shit was fucked up, huh?" I may be paraphrasing.
Good work indeed, Dustin. But are you, like, 16 or did the life expectancy dramatically rise? I already feared I was older than you but that's a red flag there (feared because obviously my job sure ain't as cool).
Posted by: Jay at August 12, 2008 4:28 PM
One episode in season four that you didn't mention that I think is one of the most underrated (and makes my top ten for the entire show) is "Paper Hearts."
Just had to agree with this, Darth. "Paper Hearts" and "Unruhe" were always my favorite episodes that never made it into the "best of the X-Files" marathons that would air periodically on TNT or Sci-Fi. (Why don't they do that anymore?) "Paper Hearts" to me is the perfect representation of Mulder: a brilliant investigator hamstrung by his personal demons. (Plus, there is no moment in any law-enforcement-type show EVER quite like Mulder sinking that basket.) And "Unruhe" just has the most intriguing killer in the show's history, with the German, the dentistry, the graves, the icepick, and of course the surreal psychic photography.
Posted by: Todd at August 12, 2008 4:29 PM
I've been a big fan since the Friday Night days. I even hosted an X-Files party (the flyer had Mulder saying "The Beer Is Out There"). Many of the guests had never seen the show before. I put out drinks and sandwiches then turned out the lights.
The episode was "Home". Freaked everyone right out. I remember apologizing to some people, saying the show wasn't usually this scary.
Posted by: brouhaha at August 12, 2008 4:30 PM
One other thing... Say what you will about seasons 7-9, but if "Closure" doesn't affect you at all, you have no soul.
Posted by: Todd at August 12, 2008 4:34 PM
Bravo, Sir Rowles, brilliantly written and quite adequately argued. And who can argue with lines like "We're talking inbred horror, 42 minutes that will fuck you up. I cannot recommend it enough.". Sold, right there. I like how you tied in its influences on Alias and Lost and BSG, plus as a Vancouverite I can appreciate how TXF launched our local film industry to a whole new level. My only nitpick is "a scientists", other than that, well done.
I have a theory that Sirkickyass is not in fact Pookie but is perhaps Pookie's more thoughtful, eloquent and bitter older brother. With Pooks there's usually a laugh to be found somewhere but Kicky just doesn't bring the funny it seems. Kicky's just too serious, while Pookie plays a fun (but twisted) game of give and take. Either way, welcome back Kicky and I hope your hypothesis brings you some measure of comfort.
Doesn't that pretty much mean that the whole thing is invalid?
Dude. Chill. Clearly most of Pajiba thinks the list has validity, while disagreeing with its selections in part. You're obviously not going to get a retraction, correction, or appendix, so isn't it time to quit fighting this battle and move on? Your disagreements and thoughtful justifications (although really? Seinfeld??) have been noted and engaged with to varying degrees. What I'd be interested in is you getting your own column, maybe call it "The Anti-Rowles-ian Dissent", and you and Rowles can throw down and trash talk (or, hopefully, not) and bring a new level of discourse to the site. Best of luck with that, btw, but it'd be interesting to see.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 12, 2008 4:37 PM
Best. Show. Ever. (Well, up until Season 7, as you so astutely put it.) Favorite eps of mine: Ice, Beyond the Sea, Bad Blood, the Anasazi/Blessing Way/Paper Clip triumvirate, Jose Chung's From Outer Space, Monday, oh I could go on. Oh, and parts of Arcadia ("Woman! Get back in here and make me a sandwich!")Too many to count really. And Krycek was a total MF-er but boy was he awesome. Eeep, I'm turning into the X-Files dork I used to be just thinking about this show. I may have a DVD marathon tonight thanks to you.
Posted by: Sarah C at August 12, 2008 4:40 PM
Cindy,
it seems your third example was so scary it broke the link!
Indeed. As I commented on somebody else's blog the other day, the current Duchovny really does look like a man who would be found dead from auto-erotic asphyxiation...
But still, he was Mulder, and Mulder rocked. So I forgive. I don't fancy the new X-Files movie, though.
Posted by: Tarn at August 12, 2008 4:42 PM
Also, the funniest thing is I'm actually watching an episode right now. "BADLAA". That little dude gave me nightmares for a while. Now, I just remind myself that he's an Oompa Loompa and I feel better.
Posted by: Sarah C at August 12, 2008 4:42 PM
After reading this review plus comments I was inspired to purchase: 1) the Season 4 DVD set; and 2) a bottle of whiskey.
I now have all the supples necessary for a marathon re-watching session... Herrenvolk here I come!
Posted by: Mike G at August 12, 2008 4:53 PM
Ah, I remember using my Mac SE-30 to go on the X-Files newsgroups after each episode and see what all the other fans had to say. Good times.
Posted by: Average Jane at August 12, 2008 4:55 PM
I respectfully dispute the notion that Duchovny has not aged well. Of course he's not the dreamboat that caused my sexual awakening in middle school anymore, but keep in mind, the man is pushing 50, and most of the examples are just poor grooming. He was all beardy and schlubby for House of D back in the day, and at the premiere, he really just needed a wash and trim (and a shave). But just watch Californication to see how well he has maintained.
OK, yeah I'm taking this a little too personally aren't I?
Carry on...
Posted by: MG at August 12, 2008 5:04 PM
Just had to agree with this, Darth. "Paper Hearts" and "Unruhe" were always my favorite episodes that never made it into the "best of the X-Files" marathons that would air periodically on TNT or Sci-Fi.
Amen. But then again, I'm what we used to call a Profiling!Mulder fanatic. Any ep that featured his profiling talent was good, and sometimes terrific. Unruhe, PH, Grotesque, Oubliette, Aubrey, Beyond the Sea...
Oh dear, I'm really outing myself as a Phile.
Posted by: Louise at August 12, 2008 5:07 PM
I've always been a big fan of the X-Files, we used to watch it every Friday night and afterward we would have a round table discussion on the existence of Aliens and the government's participation in the whole Alien phenomena. I had a friend that used to work in Washington and trust me he was a part of some black bag type of stuff, another friend of mine was involved in some government work dealing in the dark arts. The stuff that they used to tell me was some really incredible stuff, if I had a clean record and wouldn't have dropped out of college I would have been right beside them doing work for the government. I stay in shape and I do a lot of reading just in case some stuff jump off, they taught me and some of the guys from the neighborhood some black bag stuff just in case, they even told us about their secret code names and other secret stuff.
Posted by: Pookie at August 12, 2008 5:08 PM
Way to create a TV guide for the stereotypical geek. Being so ridiculously skewed toward all things fanboy is about as interesting as reading People's best dressed list(Jennifer Aniston takes it again with yet another A-line black dress! Daring!). I can't believe that people actually complained that Sex and the City made the list. Even if it isn't your cup of tea atleast it mixes it up a bit. Oh well, now I know what that guy in my class who ate paste was watching while everyone else was out at parties. I expected more from a seemingly intelligent staff! BORING!
Posted by: Predictable at August 12, 2008 5:20 PM
As opposed to that comment, which was fucking rrrrriveting.
Posted by: I Love Beets at August 12, 2008 5:30 PM
I still fail to see your point Cindy, but then again I tend to favor men who are dark, swarthy, and on the hairy side. I have no use for a Mr. clean cut, short hair, way too polished pretty man. Unless I see his future potential to come to the 'dark' side.
Posted by: katy at August 12, 2008 5:52 PM
And the t-shirts are arriving today?! Please, please, please let mine come too.
Posted by: katy at August 12, 2008 5:54 PM
I think people get the wrong idea about this website, this website is not about the critique of movies, but about the critique of the human condition which produces movies. That is why only certain movies become classics, those movies all have one thing in common, they show the human condition in all it's many complexities.
Posted by: Pookie at August 12, 2008 6:04 PM
Pookie, have a drink on me. Nicely put.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 12, 2008 6:07 PM
Great review, Dustin. I recently came to the conclusion that Season 4 is my favorite as well. But no mention of The Field Where I Died? Criminal!
Posted by: Entities at August 12, 2008 6:11 PM
Taped every episode, bought the videos when they came out, haunted Gopher and then the web for reviews and gossip. Gods, I was obsessed...
I consider the later episodes AU - but that's because I believe Mulder ends up with Skinner (or Krycek, or both). Anyway, he definitely doesn't end up with Scully.
Posted by: funtime42 at August 12, 2008 6:12 PM
>...but about the critique of the human condition which produces movies. ..."
And raw, unadulterated, man on goat porn.
Pajiba
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 12, 2008 6:14 PM
FUCK YEAH!!!! I remember seeing the previews for "The X-Files" before it even began, thinking, "hmmp, that looks pretty good, I will check that out." Check it out I did...I was riveted...at least until DD left and the show was ruined by LMG (Liquid Metal Guy).
Personal episode faves:
Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose
Post-Modern Prometheus
Tooms
Duane Barry/Ascension
3
Humbug
D.P.O.
War of the Coprophages
Jose Chung's "From Outer Space"
Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man
Tunguska
Leonard Betts
Small Potatoes
Bad Blood
Dreamland/Dreamland II
How the Ghosts Stole Christmas
Arcadia
The Unnatural
I didn't name Home because I don't have to. That is EVERYBODY's favorite. I have never checked, re-checked, and re-checked again all my doors and windows after watching a one-hour regular TV show in my life, but this one scared the holy mother-farging cream cheese out of me.
Alice, I cannot BELIEVE your teacher had you bring this in to class. He would have been the absolutely coolest teacher on EARTH!!!!! Why didn't I EVER have a teacher like that? In jr. high, my social studies teacher would cover the lens of the slide projector when showing National Geographic slides if the "native" women were, uh, shall we say, big and bouncy. In my freshman year of high school, we watched the 1968 "Romeo and Juliet" after reading it, and when Mercurtio started to puke blood after being stabbed, our teacher fast-forwarded thru it. Lucky for us, the next day, she was sick, so we made the sub show it over.....and over....and over, whooping each time. Imagine what we would have done watching the Peacock brothers decimate poor Sheriff Taylor and his wife.....
******
sorry, went away there for a minute.....anywho, I still miss the REAL "X-Files." Saw the movie....its was .... meh. I would still do Mulder in a heartbeat. **** sigh***** jeebus....now, I gotta pull out my dvds and, ummm, excuse myself....
Posted by: dammitjanet at August 12, 2008 6:33 PM
And that is why we missed b-slim.
Posted by: Dev at August 12, 2008 6:34 PM
Oh, here comes fodder for the flame war...
LOOK, Kicky, if you are gonna bash the list for losing all validity for not including Sopranos (YET, correct me if I am wrong but isn't this only slot 19?), you might want to lose the Law & Order part of your argument.
Do I enjoy the occasional episode? Sure. You never really have to follow the series to pick up an episode - it's like beach reading for the teevee. But don't tell me for a minute it is groundbreaking - it's the same episode every week, you always know a twist is coming if it seems to wrap up at the 45 minute mark, and while it provides a steady source of income for blue-collar New York actors, it by no means belongs on any "Best of 20 Years" list.
Homicide was influential (camera work, subject matter, character development, and you can argue that the (IMO totally overrated) NYPD Blue was influential (if you like Dennis Franz'z buttcheeks). But L&O? Sorry, no.
But then again, I think Sopranos is totally overrated, too. VIVA FOX MULDER!
Posted by: Tammy at August 12, 2008 6:59 PM
Sorry - Off-topic.
I just re-read Jeremy's review for Brokeback Mountain for no particular reason when I realised I haven't read/ seen anything from him in ages.
When and why did he leave Pajiba? Is he still reviewing films?
I truly hope there are not only Mulder-style answers to those questions.
Posted by: jd at August 12, 2008 7:25 PM
"But then again, I think Sopranos is totally overrated, too."
I also think The Sopranos is overrated, Tammy. I tried repeatedly to watch it, and never made it more than 15 mins in before falling asleep (and I'm a chronic insomniac). That show bored me to tears.
Posted by: Sarina at August 12, 2008 7:28 PM
"...When and why did he leave Pajiba? Is he still reviewing films?..."
*In movie type German accent*
Hiz vereabouts are of no concern...to you...
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 12, 2008 7:40 PM
Wait...you mean TK's not the only one taking hostages/prisoners in his basement? Jeez, am I ever behind!
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 12, 2008 7:45 PM
This show introduced me to the creepiest fucker at the tender young age of 12: Donnie Pfaster.
Posted by: Bex at August 12, 2008 8:02 PM
I will say this forever and ever and ever, but standing toe-to-toe with The X-Files is its even more fucked-up little brother Millennium. You think Donnie Pfaster is frightening? Try Lucy Butler.
Posted by: Fernando at August 12, 2008 9:16 PM
Katy, I have a variety of taste when it comes to men - and I'm not usually one to go for a pretty boy. Mulder was almost too pretty boy back in the day, but he had that sizzle thing going. I admit I haven't seen him in Californication - so I've been going on photos I see in the media.
Posted by: Cindy at August 12, 2008 9:17 PM
lordhelmet, I gotta second your toast to Pookie's excellent comment, I'm gonna try & remember that one. You had a few good ones yourself,
Along w/ Tammy & B-Slim, some nice reading material before going to bed: "Hiz vereabouts..." HA!
True Pajibans, youse guys is --
Posted by: TMax at August 12, 2008 9:25 PM
First one I ever saw was the first Pusher episode, followed by Clyde Bruckman.... taped by my Aunt Kelly. Needless to say, I was hooked, and stuck with it through the bitter end. Great show.
Posted by: jaytwo at August 12, 2008 9:44 PM
This is a great review of one of my favorite shows ever! You summed it up so well, and I love your commentary - it made me laugh. I was riveted every week, and you just reminded me how much I loved this show. It made me want to go back and watch it all from the beginning. Thanks!
Posted by: Liz at August 12, 2008 9:47 PM
Great review Dustin! While I loved Bad Blood, there's no doubt season 4 is the best one. It's the season the show really hit a maturity and complexity, and Small Potatoes is the best episode evar!
Posted by: racheee at August 12, 2008 10:19 PM
By my count, this is only the 18th season. "Sopranos" and "Seinfeld" could still both make it on, which would seem like the right choices. Unles "Six Feet Under" replaces "Sopranos," which is unlikely. And I don't even want to think about the idea of something replacing "Seinfeld."
Posted by: skibum at August 12, 2008 11:59 PM
Fabulous show. I only watched seasons 1-3, so I am in the dark about this season 4 that made your list. I shall have to purchase every season on dvd and watch them back-to-back. I have finished my Buffy Marathon and am now in the middle of a Seinfeld Marathon with a different friend.
X-Files is next!
Posted by: popejenn at August 13, 2008 12:32 AM
Late addition:
"Small Potatoes" is awesome for the geekier of us X-Philes for the simple fact that it is the only time your ever see Mulder's bedroom. All other shots of Mulder at night involve him sacking out in his Barcolounger, usually to porn (or at least softcore - a favorite of my Mulderisms, in addition to his addiction to sunflower seeds).
In "Small Potatoes," if I recall correctly, he has a full-on boudoir (but only because you're actually seeing his shape-shifting doppelganger), he almost gets to the freakiness with Scully AND gets to wear some hilariously inappropriate underdrawers (leopard, I believe).
The level of detail of the character development of this show is OUTSTANDING. Plus, David Duchovny in underdrawers, ya'll!
Posted by: Tammy at August 13, 2008 12:36 AM
I luuuvvveeeddd this show. Mulder was delicious and Skinner, damn, you could bounce a quarter off the man's ass. Nice.
Posted by: Megan at August 13, 2008 12:41 AM
Late to the party, as always, but the episode that really creeped me the fuck out was the one with the roaches. At the end of a commercial break, our TV went all static-y, what we used to call "ant wars," and then a big roach crawled across the screen, and we screamed and jumped out of our chairs, and then it turns out it was actually the show, it was Mulder's TV, and he picks the roach off. Shudder. Then I think the bugs were tiny alien robots or something? I don't remember much after the shrieking. ugh, still makes me shudder. Damn that show was good.
Posted by: isabelle at August 13, 2008 12:45 AM
Wow, I used to be OBSESSED with this show. Granted, I have an obsessive personality and always have a show/character/event that I latch onto with a the passion of a thousand suns burning into supernovas. But the x-files was my first real foray into intelligent, adult entertainment (not that kind!)
I was 13 or 14 and we had just gotten this newfangled thing called "the internet" and other than causing many a fight between me and my sister over who should get the use of the ICQ *snort*, it introduced me to the fabulous concept of fanfiction. I wrote x-files fanfiction, would surf the web for hours for photos (this is dial-up days btw, I was devoted!) buy stacks of magazines, make cut-outs and collages (again, all this before photoshop. That's right, I used glue and scissors people!) I would go over to my friend's house just to use her high-speed and download as many fanfictions as I could onto my floppy discs. I would print them out and read them at night instead of novels. I was a huge shipper and can tell you that the first kiss Mulder and Scully ever shared, on the New Year's eve episode, lasted for 8 seconds exactly because I timed it!!!
Finally, the show actually pushed me into counselling. I went from having little fantasies about Mulder and Scully to actually making them my imaginary friends that would accompany me throughout the day and who I could make snarky/intelligent commentary to. (Yeah, I was going through a pretty dark time in my life)
I finally realize my obsession was just masking bigger issued and pulled myself out of it. I'm still a general fanatic, but nothing has even come close to matching my love for this show.
I'm going to see the movie this weekend but this just makes me want to rent all the seasons on DVD and watch them on a loop.
Posted by: BMG at August 13, 2008 1:18 AM
Wait. You are saying the X Files was fiction?
Posted by: BierceAmbrose at August 13, 2008 2:11 AM
Bierce, that's what they want you to believe. It was actually a documentary smuggled out of government archives, released as fiction as a last-resort measure by the government to discredit the whistleblowers. The truth was out there, but now it's gone except for limited syndication and DVD releases beyond the government's control.
Thanks TMax. BTW, the only time you don't need to worry when somebody says "hiz vereabouts" is when Fleugendorf Prison is in the equation and they get Dr. Flammond's old cell. Rumour has it his tunnel was nearly complete.. Of course, BSlim & TK both use cellars of some variety (according to my sources - thanks guys) for their captives. Given my druthers, I'd go with Slim's as a place to be held hostage because his guards are nymphos and every day is orgy day (with free beer and wings on Fridays)! TK just forces you to look at cute pictures of kittens and puppies while playing the theme song to "Barney" over and over and over again..."so..cold..so..cuddly"...were my informant's last words. TK may be a cold, crusty, cantankerous old fart of a zombie master but let's face it, he's really a marshmallow at heart. Everybody all together: "awwwwwwww."
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 13, 2008 3:03 AM
Does this mean that TK is actually Cute With Chris webmaster?
And since I'm an html illiterate fool, I am simply forced to pimp out this hilarious website like so: www.cutewithchris.com
Posted by: popejenn at August 13, 2008 3:29 AM
What's funny is that everyone took Pookie at face value. I assumed she was being satirical as well. "This website is about the human condition." I crapped my pants I laughed so hard. It was a long clean-up but man was it worth it.
I would love to hear some rationale about how "Wanted" was lauded on this website because the Loom of Fate was somehow a metaphor for the human condition.
Lord: I would be honored to write a column occasionally detailing all the ways that Pajiba messes up. I predict it would be the most-hated and least commented feature on the website. I would argue I had critical acclaim and was cancelled before my time. On a list of greatest columns everyone would act like they loved it all along.
Skibum: This was number 19. Six Feet Under has already been named instead of the Sopranos. Guess it wasn't that unlikely.
Selection number 20 is a total crapshoot because it's the reader's choice and barely anyone followed the rules and as a result will have their votes disqualified. This will inevitably end up with something like Alias being named.
At that point I would love an article titled "Why these 20 selections are all better than the Sopranos, one of the most critically and popularly successful series of all time." Dustin Rowles could write it and it would be an incoherent rambling mess with "laugh lines" punctuated by the word "Fuck." Daniel Carson could write it and it would be a bad argument for why some shows that are best classified as guilty pleasures are the best of all time. Carson would then wonder why no one like Veronica Mars has shown up to take his virginity yet. The Boozehound Cinephile would be the best choice, I anxiously await him attempting to justify why the Grasshopper is a manly drink while trying to sit through a single episode of Veronica Mars before giving up on the whole enterprise, throwing back some rye whiskey and beginning to act like Lee Marvin in Cat Ballou (for whatever reason this is the way I always picture him).
It will never happen because Pajiba will never admit an error, but I can dream.
Posted by: Sirkickyass at August 13, 2008 3:39 AM
This will inevitably end up with something like Alias being named.
We can hope. Huzzah for avid fans with basic literacy skills!
Topic: I never watched the X-Files growing up. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen more than 5 seconds of an episode. I was born in '87 and thus was maybe 9/10 when it was at the height of its popularity, so while my 5-years-older brother loved it, I was banned from watching it. When I was old enough to watch it, everyone kept talking about how crap the new seasons were so I didn't bother. I loved this review though; more so than some of the others, it really made a case not just for why the season or show in question was good, but for why it made a significant impact on television as a whole.
Posted by: Shay at August 13, 2008 6:38 AM
So let me preface my comment with this: I like Pajiba. While I don't always agree with the reviewers opinions, I don't have to - and that's not why I read movie reviews. I like the writing here, and I like some of the comments too.
However, this top 20 is bad. I agree with Sirkicky, except in a less eloquent/entertaining way. While I've never watched more than 1 Sopranos episode in a row, I recognise it's status as critically and popularly loved and it probably should have been included. My absolute favourite show ever, Seinfeld, is missing too.
I approve many of the selections, not least Arrested Development, but on the whole it features too much niche stuff (Battlestar Galactica? Really?) and not enough groundbreaking & popular stuff.
Hey, I've been reading the entries, and some have even motivated me to - *gasp* - see the shows I've not yet seen. I like the articles, but I do not agree with the selections.
Does anyone ever feel like their opinion means absolutely nothing?
Posted by: Ben (The Harry Potter-Bashing Troll) at August 13, 2008 7:21 AM
Dear Pajiba:
I now realize that this list is so awful it must have been intentional. Creating a list of the best seasons of television of the last 20 years and somehow making it so that the Sopranos was never mentioned is a work of satire so brilliant that Jonathan Swift would have peed himself if only he could have aspired to it.
The inclusion of such schlock as Battlestar Galactica while leaving out the most influential shows on television from the recent past such as Seinfeld and Law and Order is a move that skewers the very notion that there could ever be anything called valid criticism. In retrospect I see that the entire last year of the website has been dedicated to this very purpose. In this time, there has been no decline in quality; there has just been a change in mission statement.
All those times I said that people would look at this list in retrospect and die laughing were actually inadvertant words of encouragement. That's exactly the response you'd been looking for all along. Like the best satirists you didn't admit your mission and admit it was satire, instead you gazed unflinchingly at the audience and dared me to laugh. And oh, now I am definitely laughing.
Your comrade in arms,
Sirkickyass
What he said.
You could have had a blind monkey shoot darts out his ass at a 10 year old TV Guide and come up with a better list then this.
Posted by: EricD at August 13, 2008 7:31 AM
lordhelmet
Thank you, sir. I had lost contact with the other cells after my ISP cut off access to alt.x-files.not.fiction. (At the conspiracy's direction, of course.)
Clever of them to plant the story themselves as cover in case the truth got out, even including the strategy of planting the truth as a cover story in the cover story, and . . . Oh no. I've gone cross-eyed.
Scully hot. That is all.
Posted by: BierceAmbrose at August 13, 2008 8:11 AM
Sirkicky's comment was waaaaay long, and I'm feeling strangely generous, so I'll translate for those of you who can't be bothered to slog through that hot mess:
Dear Pajiba,
I hate you. You suck. Everything you do sucks. I hate you SOOOO much. I hate you I hate you I hate you IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou. Also, you suck and I hate you.
PAY ATTENTION TO ME! OH MY GOD PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME OR I WILL CRY SNOTTY BITCH TEARS ALL UP IN HERE!
I hate you all, and I am sooo much better than you, but I cannot stay away, and I cannot EVER shut the fucking hell up about it. Sometimes, I get painfully erect when I talk about how much I hate you. Also, I sleep with dolls made from the printouts of these columns.
...that I hate.
OhmyGodIloveyousomuchpleasepayattentiontome,
Sirkickyass
Posted by: Sarina at August 13, 2008 9:04 AM
...Sarina, I'd shoot the usual "Please have my babies!" compliment at you, but I genuinely fear you might eat them. That was kinda magnificent.
Posted by: Shay at August 13, 2008 9:14 AM
That....was strangely arousing...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 13, 2008 9:17 AM
Wait, did I miss something? I thought that there would be twenty staff picks and then one additional pick based on votes from the peanut gallery. Is SirKicky right? Are we really done with the staff picks? And Sopranos is not on the list? This can't be right--it totally invalidates the list. That is like making a list of the 20 greatest hockey players and leaving Gretzky out.
I've enjoyed the exercise and I haven't had any real problem with the list to this point though I certainly don't agree with all the choices. But if we are really done with the staff picks then I wash my hands of it. May Godtopus have mercy on your souls.
Posted by: Ed Newman at August 13, 2008 9:25 AM
I watched the entire run of the Sopranos, really enjoyed it, but it's totally overrated. I also love the fuck out of Seinfeld, but would never consider putting it on this list. And those that are arguing Battlestar are fucking 'tards that haven't watched it.
And Sarina, I totally want to lick you.
Posted by: jamiepants at August 13, 2008 10:03 AM
popejenn, there's no such thing as finishing a Buffy marathon. You just start all over again. Maybe with an Angel marathon in between.
Theory: SirKickyAss = Conrad (last name withheld). Discuss.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at August 13, 2008 10:55 AM
I used to think sirkicky was a pajiba hating wack job too. But I'm willing to admit he was right all along. The list is a fucking joke.
I double dog dare them to do a diversions to name the one season each person feels should not have been on the list.
Posted by: EricD at August 13, 2008 11:18 AM
Kicky, Law and Order? REALLY?
NO. JUST NO.
The Sopranos was not everyone's cup o' tea. It was one of my favorite shows because I love mob movies, books, and tv shows. It was well done and widely well received. I can handle it not being here because this site is rarely about the mainstream.
As far as Seinfeld goes, I never enjoyed in until I got older (25+). Now, I find it really amusing. Apparently I act like Elaine, so that is an added bonus.
The X-files was never my thing, but I can see the reasons that it is here. I am still pushing for either season one or two of my beloved Alias. Viva La Spydaddy!
Posted by: Melody at August 13, 2008 11:30 AM
Since many consider it the greatest show in the history of television, I have no problem with those who consider The Sopranos overrated. It was violent, had an unredeemable hero, and some episodes could be slow. It was not for everyone (nor were most shows on this list). But not one of the 20 greatest seasons? Its writing, acting, and overall impact on TV were unparalleled. We'll be feeling its impact for decades. The critics new darling, Mad Men, which may appear on the list of the the next 20 years 20 greatest seasons, is heavily indebted to The Sopranos for its tone and storytelling structure. The Sopranos has to be on this list.
Posted by: Ed Newman at August 13, 2008 11:44 AM
I double dog dare them to do a diversions to name the one season each person feels should not have been on the list.
Have you been reading the comments after each entry? That'd just be redundant and everyone would be all drained of their initial bile and just feel like they were going through the motions and that's such a dispiriting way to write, like if you used a web-based email program and your mammoth letter gets fucked and vanished (and that's why I don't use web-based email, by the way, cause I'm too verbose to invite that torture all the time) and you start all over but usually don't have much energy for it.
Posted by: Jay at August 13, 2008 11:50 AM
one of my favorite episodes (not sure which season) was when they had to investigate the HOA with a golem that would attack people who broke any of the HOA covenants.
The HOA leader was SO creepy! He (and the whole fucked up HOA mentality) has stayed with me.
Posted by: Stella at August 13, 2008 12:06 PM
Does anyone ever feel like their opinion means absolutely nothing?
Posted by: Ben (The Harry Potter-Bashing Troll) at August 13, 2008 7:21 AM
You have moments when you feel like your opinion actually means something?
You and Sirkickyass must be slugging from the same water bottle. Not sure if I want some of that juice or not.
Sarina...what is there to say, really? I have to take my snark meter in for recalibration after practically every single one of your posts!
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 13, 2008 12:14 PM
"Pajiba's Best 20 Seasons of the Last 20 Years"
Wouldn't this simple title change dismiss most of the redundant criticism? 19 of these 20 shows were chosen by the Pajiba *Writers*, weren't they? Acknowledge that and let the list stand as is.
I'll be at lunch.
Posted by: Hector Elizondo's 'Stache at August 13, 2008 12:36 PM
EVERYONE:
Please take your right or left hand (your choice), reach behind you, and UNBUNDLE YOUR PANTIES.
For the love of Godtopus, no one said this is THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF INFLUENTIAL TV SEASONS EVER THE END.
It's Pajiba's Best 20 SEASONS of 20 Years. That name connotes several things:
1. It's Pajiba's judgment of what seasons they thought were the best - of, if you will, their FAVORITE seasons (you see how that works? It's what they think are the best - therefore, their opinion counts here).
2. A show is picked based not on its total run, but on individual seasons. Therefore, Sopranos's entire run may be scripted on pages inked by the blood of virgins, but if one season of the X-Files is deemed stronger than any one season of another show, it makes the list and the other gets shafted.
3. My GODTOPUS, people, just because your favorite show isn't on the list does not invalidate its influence, importance, or enjoyability. We come to this page to read what these people think about film/TV/whatevs, for whatever reasons we may have (personally, I enjoy all the talk about booze). It's not really designed for everyone to get their own favorites validated every time. SEE A THERAPIST if you need a website to make you feel loved.
Posted by: Tammy at August 13, 2008 12:38 PM
on the whole it features too much niche stuff (Battlestar Galactica? Really?) and not enough groundbreaking & popular stuff.
Er, with good reason, Ben--were you there for the Sex and the City comments?! Yikes, duck and cover!
Anyway, I think Tammy says it best: it's Pajiba's Top 20, dammit. It's certainly not my top 20; however, I strongly believe that each of their choices were well and eloquently defended. So much so that I have even added a few of their choices to my to-watch list.
Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 13, 2008 12:57 PM
Tammy,
1. You are right that its the staff's opinion, of course, but if the majority of commenters can jis themselves over the selection of their favorites (see about 90% of the comments above) then strenuously objecting to ommisions should be just as valid. We bitch because we care.
2. There are at least 2 (1&2)seasons of The Sopranos I'd put up against anything chosen so far so I don't accept that reason for its exclusion.
3. Are we really done with the staff's picks? I have only Sirkicky's comment to that effect to go on. If the staff chooses The Sopranos with the 20th pick, all my objections are moot.
Posted by: Ed Newman at August 13, 2008 1:02 PM
I've come late to the game and there is nothing I can say about the awesomeness of The X-Files that hasn't already been said. Season 2 might have been my pick, however, I think the first episode I ever saw was "Darkness Falls", which may have come back to haunt me the next time I went off to Girl Scout camp.
All of this talk has gotten me thinking about Millennium, the first two seasons of which I was OBSESSED with in my youth. Did anyone else watch this, and if they did, was it as good as I remember? Looking at the wikipedia page, I am realising that the first episode, which I remember eagerly anticipating for weeks, aired just two weeks shy of my 13th birthday. No wonder I was such a weird kid.
Posted by: SleepyBeastie at August 13, 2008 1:03 PM
Last year I watched this series start to finish, including the weldschmertz that was the last 2 seasons ( I didn't think season 7 was THAT bad), and season 4 was definately up there. Basically when the show was filmed in Vancouver, it was best, but I have a bit of bias. Seeing UBC on buses, and Telus vans with Alberta license plates warmed my western Canadian heart.
Posted by: Agente Provocatrice at August 13, 2008 1:07 PM
I tried watching Millennium but Lance Henriksen puts me to sleep every single time. He's the reason I can't even sit through Pumpkinhead, which saddens me, because it should so be something I love.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at August 13, 2008 1:21 PM
Though I vowed to stay out of this, I figured it's important to let y'all know something. A while back, you were given the opportunity to vote on what you thought should be the final season of the list. You were told to make no assumptions as to what our remaining picks would be. YOU had the opportunity to choose what was one of the best seasons.
I'm not telling you which season of which show was the winner. But my question is this: if your favorite show doesn't make the list, chosen by you and your fellow readers, how do you reconcile that? Is your opinion now invalidated? Or is it because your fellow readers are just as stupid as we are?
Posted by: TK at August 13, 2008 1:33 PM
Well put TK - it sounds just like if you don't vote you lose your right to bitch about the results.
Tammy, you must be a Cylon, because what you just wrote is way too logical for a typical alcohol-blooded Pajiban.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 13, 2008 1:37 PM
Lordhelmut,
I'll take that as a compliment, as I go make myself a Manhattan (It's 5 o'clock somewhere).
Posted by: Tammy at August 13, 2008 2:32 PM
Wow. There are sure some amazingly self-involved people posting here. As for SirLickyAss (see what I did there?), that was one of the most pompous, long-winded, narcissistic, Appeals to Popular Opinion I have ever read. Just because a large number of people think the Sopranos is fabulous, does that mean that the Pajiba staff should include it, even if none of them liked it as much as everything else that was chosen?
At one time within the last 20 years the Spice Girls was the #1 selling music group IN THE WORLD. Does that mean they MUST be on my top 20? They were popular, and influential, so, by your reasoning, they MUST be. Right? Right?
Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at August 13, 2008 2:38 PM
"...Sometimes, I get painfully erect when I talk about how much I hate you."
Sarina, you are beyond awesome, in all its possible forms! T-shirt!
Posted by: Loob at August 13, 2008 2:47 PM
Tammy>> That's not true about Mulder's bedroom. I don't know all the times that you see it, but there are at least two other episodes: "Dreamland" (when Michael McKean's character inhabits his body and purchases the waterbed) and "Monday" (when the waterbed continually springs a leak). I could be mistaken, but I'm also thinking that it appears in "Field Trip."
Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 13, 2008 3:13 PM
Tammy>> Of course, along with "Paper Hearts," it should be noted that all those instances of Mulder's bedroom involve another character's actually being the one making use of it, a fantastical circumstance, or outright hallucination. Thus, the mystique of Mulder's bedroom is preserved. :- )
Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 13, 2008 3:15 PM
Ugh. I meant "Small Potatoes," not "Paper Hearts."
Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 13, 2008 3:16 PM
Some of the larger form arguments:
While you all go crazy over the supposedly "great argument" of saying the title is Pajiba's best seasons of all time maybe you should go up and look at the title. While that would have indicated it was meant to be a subjective list and then I wouldn't have cared the actual title does not include such a modifier. Instead it is given the objective title The Best 20 Seasons of the Last 20 Years In other words, to make your point you have to make up new points of fact. That should tell you how untenable your position is.
Tammy: The X-Files wouldn't have to beat just one season of the Sopranos to make the list. In order to make the list the X-Files would have to beat EVERY season of the Sopranos.
There appears to be a de facto unstated rule that one show cannot have multiple seasons on the list, I'm willing to accept that. What I'm not willing to accept is that arguably the most important show in the history of television and certainly the biggest critical darling of all-time is apparently not even the 4th best HBO show of the last 10 years. Is this a result that is defensible without an absolute call to complete subjectivity? Can it be supported under Pajibas current title.
Sarina: I'm thrilled to see you have no substantive arguments. I'd be lying if I said I expected more.
TK: Given the way the voting rules were written and how everyone ignored them (I'm thinking of the "you must say a season" and "you can only write one in your post" rules) I'm going to go ahead and say that the vast majority of Pajiba readers is going to have their vote disqualified and not counted. I double dog dare you to refute this given that you're in a position to know.
My point being, anytime there is a popular vote and the majority of votes are excluded based upon form the vote was cast in I refuse to acknowledge the validity of the outcome of such a vote. TK, do you personally even believe that one could make a "best of" list in any objective fashion and not include The Sopranos or Seinfeld? The only arguments against the Sopranos I've heard are "I personally didn't like it." Please. Lots of people didn't like Twin Peaks but it is undeniably in the conversation for this list. When being a list-maker you have to be able to look beyond your personal preference to accept that something else was important. Or you could just pick all your favorites off your DVD shelf. Pajiba chose the latter.
Posted by: Sirkickyass at August 13, 2008 3:26 PM
His hand is still on it.
Posted by: Loob at August 13, 2008 3:39 PM
Some of the larger form arguments:
Posted by: Sirkickyass at August 13, 2008 3:26 PM
You, Sir, must have more time on your hands than Amy Winehouse's dental hygienist.
If you're so determined to expend your vast reserves of energy and hubris on Pajiba, why not turn it into something useful -- like debunking the Godtopus myth or saving the pandas?
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 13, 2008 3:45 PM
Further Translation:
Semantics are awesome. They are my God and I hold them sacred above all things. I shall cry about them for the next 57 paragraphs. If only that one special, magic word had been included in the title of this abomination you heathens call a list, I would shut the fucking hell up.
Tammy: I love The Sopranos with the unnatural passions of a pedophilic priest, and that makes me better than you.
Sarina: You hurt my last feeling.
TK: I am going to use the phrase "double dog dare" in order to impress upon you the magnificence of my rationality.
My point is that voting sucks unless the result is an EXACT MATCH of my every thought and opinion, most of which appear to centre around the fact that The Sopranos is a televisual miracle that feeds the hungry and enriches the poor and you cannot look directly at it or the unparalleled glory will blind you.
In conclusion: Waaaah, waaaaahhhhh!!! [sniffle]
Pleasepaymoreattentiontome,
Sirkickyass
Posted by: Sarina at August 13, 2008 3:50 PM
The pandas are basically asking for it.
Posted by: Loob at August 13, 2008 3:56 PM
Sarina, you rock my world. I salute your interpretative abilities. Hail, Sarina!
That is all.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 13, 2008 4:04 PM
The pandas are basically asking for it.
Posted by: Loob at August 13, 2008 3:56 PM
See, Kicky? There is a higher calling for your awesome rhetorical skills. Once you're done with Loob ("What I'm not willing to accept is that arguably the most important showanimal in the history of televisionearth..."), let's see how you do with jM...
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 13, 2008 4:06 PM
I knew this site had a democratic tilt. But I am still shocked by the sheer volume of attacking the man and ignoring his message. Sirkicky is right. plain and simple.
Posted by: EricD at August 13, 2008 4:55 PM
I have yet to weigh in on Kicky's message, EricD, for the simple reason that I have passing little interest. Whether he's right or wrong is entirely irrelevant -- the mere notion of right and wrong in this forum is laughable. So some of us laugh. But Kicky's a damn debate Cylon! Relentless, this one is...
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 13, 2008 5:15 PM
I knew this site had a democratic tilt
Yeah, that's not generalizing at all. Way to call us out. We've been listening to the man's "message" for the past ten articles...and it's gotten to be an annoying broken record. Which he refuses to change. Even when presented with folk who are willing to debate the issue. You know "debate", right? Where both sides present an argument, defend it to the best of their abilities, then either one side capitulates or it ends in an unresolved stalemate? SirKickyass seems to think there's a third option...keep repeating your argument ad nauseum without acknowledging any argument that contradicts it in any way until everyone is sick of it and leaves you alone, thereby ensuring your victory. That's why the hate and why everyone ignores him.
By the way, this is what Sarina is conveying...however, she doesn't suffer fools well, and in fact would sooner throttle of you in your sleep than cross the street to avoid you.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 13, 2008 5:24 PM
Hey Kicky
By your own argument (which is bullshit, by-the-by) this whole post would seem to lean more Republican... They took a vote on what seasons everyone preferred and then threw out the votes that didn't make sense to their initial plan. Thereby ensuring the outcome before it even went to vote. Har...Har...Blech...
Posted by: ernesto at August 13, 2008 5:32 PM
"...and in fact would sooner throttle you in your sleep than cross the street to avoid you."
That is the literal truth. I am like an ambassador of Care-A-Lot. Bearer of sunshiney rainbows that shoot out of my teddy tummy, and giver of gumdrop kisses. If you think the gumdrops taste suspiciously of arsenic, you are being completely paranoid.
Posted by: Sarina at August 13, 2008 5:40 PM
Though I vowed to stay out of this, I figured it's important to let y'all know something. A while back, you were given the opportunity to vote on what you thought should be the final season of the list. You were told to make no assumptions as to what our remaining picks would be. YOU had the opportunity to choose what was one of the best seasons.
I'm not telling you which season of which show was the winner. But my question is this: if your favorite show doesn't make the list, chosen by you and your fellow readers, how do you reconcile that? Is your opinion now invalidated? Or is it because your fellow readers are just as stupid as we are?
Posted by: TK at August 13, 2008 1:33 PM
We the readers had to guess what would not be included, and despite the admonition to not assume a program was going to make the cut, I doubt anyone paid much attention to that. If you did a list of the twenty greatest basketball players of all time, and were on #16 with no sign of Michael Jordan, no one would believe he wouldn't be one of the last 3 regardless of any warning. Same thing here.
If after all 19 are revealed you ask which should be the 20th, and then have a vote then perhaps our collective opinion would be invalidated. I'll still think you staffers omitted the Sopranos to try to get a rise out the readers though.
Posted by: Ed Newman at August 13, 2008 6:02 PM
Sarina, I've been told that cyanide tastes/smells like almonds, so it can be inconspicuously included in a greater variety of treats/recipes.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 13, 2008 6:03 PM
Well I'm still thinking about the X-Files here. I was just replaying "Bad Blood" in my head (I can do that with the number of times I've watched it) and, really, Dustin, just the vampires and Luke Wilson? No mention at all about how that's the most perfect episode of any show ever for showing us just what two people think of each other?
"Why do we have to go to Dallas?!"
"Go ahead, Scully, tell him your 'theory.'"
Posted by: Todd at August 13, 2008 6:15 PM
Sarina is a blowhard who can turn a cute phrase. As far as suffering fools I assume it's because she's already over her daily allownce sitting alone at the keyboard.
It's great that you love this site so much you are willing to drink the pajibacoolaid. But this list is a joke. And now TK coming on to say it's the fault of the readers for not picking a show that should obviously have been on here... yeah, right.
Posted by: EricD at August 13, 2008 6:36 PM
"I've been told that cyanide tastes/smells like almonds, so it can be inconspicuously included in a greater variety of treats/recipes."
Noted. Anyone care for some amaretto cookies?
Posted by: Sarina at August 13, 2008 6:37 PM
Mmmm, they look great, but I think EricD can have mine.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 13, 2008 6:43 PM
I am too, Todd! "Bad Blood" is high up on my list of favourite episodes, specifically for the Scully/Mulder POVs. The whole episode had me in stitches. Never again will you see such a stirring performance of the theme from Shaft.
"Come on, Scully, get those little legs moving!"
Posted by: Lisa at August 13, 2008 7:11 PM
Huh? What's this list everyone keeps referring to?
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 13, 2008 7:24 PM
"What's this list everyone keeps referring to?"
The 17 Best Historical Sites and/or Monuments at Which to Engage in Public Fornication. The list was comprised of survey results from Benedictine monks, lunch ladies and chiropodists.
Posted by: Sarina at August 13, 2008 7:47 PM
"...The 17 Best Historical Sites and/or Monuments at Which to Engage in Public Fornication..."
--------------------------------------------
Then the list would NOT be complete if it didn't include the Molly Pitcher monument at the Old Carlise Cemetery in Carlisle, Pennsylvania. Where you can have a broad fire your cannon, while celebrating a broad who fired cannons.
Synchronicity...is a beautiful thing...
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 13, 2008 7:58 PM
I never said anything was anyone's fault. My question, had you been paying attention, was specifically about the issue of "validity." Namely, if there is a show that you feel strongly should have been included, and the argument is that it's SO obvious that it's a glaring omission, in theory, that show should win the reader's poll. If it doesn't, does that invalidate your opinion?
Of course it doesn't - nor does it validate the winner. It merely speaks to the subjectivity of the issue in the first place, thereby demonstrating that there is no definitive right or wrong on the issue.
As for Ed Newman;'s comment: "We the readers had to guess what would not be included, and despite the admonition to not assume a program was going to make the cut, I doubt anyone paid much attention to that."
That's hardly our problem.
Posted by: TK at August 13, 2008 8:05 PM
You folks are great, as always. And provide a tremendous amount of entertainment value, whether you're right, wrong, or just airing a grievance. It's a goddamn pleasure to read. I mean it. The comments in these season threads have been a great deal of fun to sift through each and every week.
As for The Sopranos -- I hate offering up defenses, b/c it just gives folks ammunition, and you can't win an argument with a commenter. It's just not possible, and we accept that. Indeed, that's why I prefer the straw man arguments because they are more fun to read.
But in my honest assessment (and whether you folks agree or disagree is a different matter all together), if the list were the 20 Best Shows of the last 20 Years, The Sopranos would have undoubtedly made the list, probably in the top five. But when it comes to seasons, those of us on staff who love The Sopranos (and there are several) couldn't really pin down one particular season (the same thing seemed to happen in the Viewer's Choice thread -- of the few who chose it, there was little consensus as to which season). Most of the seasons are great, but they all seem to have dramatic lulls in them, and all seem to work in the context of making it an excellent series, but less so toward remarkable stand-alone seasons.
And for those who argue it's a "fanboys' list," I've got no qualms with that, either. It's Pajiba, after all. We're not TV Guide. We're a bunch of fanboys and girls, and our tastes (and that of many of our readers) reflect that. We write for a particular niche audience, which is also a niche audience we, the writers, fit into. We're not EW. We're not AFI. And we're not USA Today, all of whom would undoubtedly put The Sopranos and Seinfeld at or near the top. Our name sounds like part of the female anatomy -- you get what you probably should expect. Our fanboy-itis is probably another reason The Sopranos didn't make it -- we felt passionate about 19 particular seasons, and there weren't any seasons of The Sopranos we had the same amount of passion for. End of story. And if you disagree, that's cool. We like disagreement. We (and by we, I mean, I) don't like to take gratuitous potshots at our readers for nothing.
Sorry for interrupting. Carry on.
Posted by: Dustin Rowles at August 13, 2008 8:51 PM
Uummm, hello, 'scuse me?
I'm the long-time lurker/1st-time commenter on this site who posted this at 12:36pm today:
"Pajiba's Best 20 Seasons of the Last 20 Years"
"WOULDN'T THIS SIMPLE TITLE CHANGE DISMISS MOST OF THE REDUNDANT CRITICISM?"
Instead, Tammy gets the plaudits for her epistle that I FIRST encapsulated in the above-written quote, and TK still feels the need to argue, at this late time, about what has basically become an inarguable deadlock.
Sometimes it's best to know when to just shut the fuck up, a skill that Dustin appears to have mastered thru all the slings and barbs he's suffered - he just keeps writing great stuff, and if it takes not reading or answering to his critics to maintain that talent, or to correct his most numerous grammatical errors, then be it so.
Let's put this to bed now, whaddya say?
Posted by: Hector Elizondo's 'Stache at August 13, 2008 8:53 PM
Swear to GOD, I DID NOT see Dustin's post until after I posted my own... SWEAR TO GOD!
Posted by: Hector Again at August 13, 2008 8:59 PM
It's true -- and I'd have probably kept my mouth shut had I seen yours first, Hector. My apologies. -- DR
Posted by: Dustin Rowles at August 13, 2008 9:01 PM
Aaaahhhhhh. As if I needed a reminder of how much I love(d) this show. I watched it from the very first season, the year I graduated from high school, all the way through college (religiously, also like Average Jane logging on through Turbogopher after the show to chat online) and all the way through grad school. Season 4 (watched in college) was definitely a highlight, although it doesn't contain my personal favorite episode, "Jose Chung's From Outer Space."
Time to go home and flip though my episode guides and collectors' card decks . . .
Posted by: scullypdx at August 13, 2008 9:03 PM
To summarize what Mr. Rowles was trying to say here:
The list is the list, now SHUT YOUR PIEHOLES!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 13, 2008 9:09 PM
DearSirkickyass,
Why not create a web page at www.sopranosisthebestshowevah!.com, write your dissertation and then comment away at how brilliant both the show and your analysis are? Seems like a win/win situation.
Posted by: Cindy at August 13, 2008 9:56 PM
now SHUT YOUR PIEHOLES
Shouldn't that be cakeholes, for those in the crowd who are pie atheists?
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 13, 2008 10:08 PM
Shouldn't that be cakeholes, for those in the crowd who are pie atheists?
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 13, 2008 10:08 PM
Wouldn't that just be a bundt? What kind of insult is that?
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 13, 2008 10:36 PM
Wouldn't that just be a bundt? What kind of insult is that?
One I found in the Bolour Supplement - it really bought my eye.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 13, 2008 11:17 PM
Believe it or not I am now satisfied.
Dustin's admission that the list is entirely centered around a "by fanboys for fanboys" ethos is pretty much exactly what I wrote way back when in the Veronica Mars thread when I started complaining. I would like to thank Dustin for his honesty; you are a beacon of light in comparison to the surly behavior exhibited by some of the other pajiba staff members.
I feel like our hearts have grown three sizes today.
I must commemorate this moment the only way I know how: by reading comic books in the bath tub. What a night!
Posted by: Sirkickyass at August 13, 2008 11:45 PM
Oh, gentlemen, that was priceless! Che and lordhelmet may just have to share the shirt...
Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 13, 2008 11:45 PM
Kicky, I'd be careful in the bathtub if I were you. Some cackling wackjob in a mask just took off your way carrying a toaster, and he brought enough electrician's tools to make me think he's going to bypass the GFCI circuit to make sure your bath is a *lively* one. We can't lose you so soon after your heart just grew three sizes! I'd hate for some kind of Final Destination-type demise to befall you.
Nice to be appreciated, meaux. Have another drink on me.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 13, 2008 11:55 PM
Are you guys going to choose ALIAS SEASON 1 ?????
:D :D :D
Posted by: Mar!o at August 14, 2008 12:33 AM
No, it's going to be Prison Break Season 2!
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 14, 2008 12:39 AM
"Our name sounds like part of the female anatomy -- you get what you probably should expect".
Yep. The ladyflower has spoken: the Sopranos are not spongeworthy. The box prefers box sets that aren't critic's picks. The catbag snuggles up to Sci-fi. The mon chi-chi likes 'em geeky. And if you disagree, well fine. You can eat it.
Posted by: Lauren at August 14, 2008 2:14 AM
"Believe it or not I am now satisfied.
Dustin's admission that the list is entirely centered around a "by fanboys for fanboys" ethos is pretty much exactly what I wrote way back when in the Veronica Mars thread when I started complaining."
Jesus Christ! They have been saying that for weeks! That it is their website and therefore their opinion! They have been very clear on that, repeatedly trying to get through your cement skull.
You are EXTREMELY slow on the uptake, you whiny sanctimonious Douche.
And as it IS their website and their opinion, they can name the list anything they damn please. I hope they call the next one "The biggest fun-time killing, panda spurning, loser wank dork commenter." Or KickyDoucheTroll, for short.
Oh and Lauren, you are thoroughly Rad!
Posted by: Loob at August 14, 2008 5:03 AM
the list were the 20 Best Shows of the last 20 Years, The Sopranos would have undoubtedly made the list, probably in the top five. But when it comes to seasons, those of us on staff who love The Sopranos (and there are several) couldn't really pin down one particular season
Thats because ANY season of the Sopranos is better then ANY season of shit like Farscape and BSG.
Posted by: EricD at August 14, 2008 6:47 AM
Oh, gentlemen, that was priceless! Che and lordhelmet may just have to share the shirt...
Posted by: MO(meaux) at August 13, 2008 11:45 PM
Aww...thanks, meaux (or should I say Bailey Q?). That lordhelmet is quite the player -- I leave one hanging out over the plate and he smacks it clean out of the stadium. I'd have to cede the shirt, though (unless he wants to start a Brotherhood of the Traveling Murdertank).
Oh, are sports metaphors permissible here or did I just commit one of the Tacky Things?...
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 14, 2008 8:14 AM
Thats because ANY season of the Sopranos is better then ANY season of shit like Farscape and BSG.
Posted by: EricD at August 14, 2008 6:47 AM
*squints at dazzling brightness*
Hallelujah! I have seen the light. Thanks, EricD and Sirkickyass. Through sheer vein-busting, jaw-clenching, sphincter-tightening repetition, you have finally convinced me of the error of my ways. You were right. We were wrong. Now fuck off.
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 14, 2008 8:26 AM
As for Ed Newman;'s comment: "We the readers had to guess what would not be included, and despite the admonition to not assume a program was going to make the cut, I doubt anyone paid much attention to that."
That's hardly our problem.
Posted by: TK at August 13, 2008 8:05 PM
It is only your problem to the extent you claim the results as a "true" indicator of your readers opinion. As you say, if it is only to point out how subjective the exercise is then OK. If it is to say "well, you guys didn't pick so and so program either" then I say it is your problem for setting up the vote the way you did.
Posted by: Ed Newman at August 14, 2008 8:31 AM
Fair enough, Ed Newman. For the record, the former of your statements (regarding demonstrating the subjectivity of the exercise) was my point. So... truce?
Posted by: TK at August 14, 2008 8:47 AM
TK,
Truce, certainly (though I never considered it a war).
Posted by: Ed Newman at August 14, 2008 9:06 AM
I've never seen The Sopranos. Except for like 2 minutes of an episode where Tony was dreaming he was eating dinner in a restaurant and his teeth were falling out on the table.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at August 14, 2008 9:32 AM
(unless he wants to start a Brotherhood of the Traveling Murdertank).
That depends on if said Murdertank fits us both magically well. I'm going to have to insist on washing it, though, for the health and sanity of all involved. Signing messages with a permanent marker is ok, week-old tomato sauce stains are not. Props to Che for a mad assist, brilliantly done sir.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 14, 2008 12:08 PM
Anna, that was likely part of the mostly mediocre and very specific episode, "The Test Dream", which was one of my least favorite episodes. I think that it was from season 5. I still maintain that the ending of the Sopranos was one of the worst endings ever.
I would totally watch "Brotherhood of the Traveling Murdertank".
Posted by: Melody at August 14, 2008 12:22 PM
fuck ending peacfully.
"is amazing precisely for what it isn't: It isn't formulaic, it isn't predictable, and it sure as hell isn't your standard..."
"Very few of them can claim to have permanently altered the entire landscape of television content and style like this..."
"...season is filled with top-notch dramatic storytelling that doesn't try to hit you over the head with issues and messages"
"the greatest material in the world doesn't mean shit if the actors aren't up to the task. And here, too, the mark is hit with a set of actors who performed the hell out of their roles"
"cracks open its characters' chest cavities and gives us a window into the darkest reaches of their so"
"the show became jaw-dropping and mythic in the way it presented the intertwined lives of these conflicted, yearning, and complex men and women"
"Whether you hate, love, or remain ambivalent about ... it's impossible to deny the ubiquitous (even zeitgeistian) influence of the show's elements
Which of those doesn't apply to The Sopranos?
As for "when it comes to seasons, those of us on staff who love The Sopranos (and there are several) couldn't really pin down one particular season", that's a stinking pile of panda guts.
From X-files, "All of which made choosing a season between three and six a nearly impossible task"
From Southpark, "Choosing which season to laud was tough, believe me. Every single season in the show's (so far) 12-season run has at least six or seven gut-clenchingly hilarious episodes that are instant classics. Conversely, every season has at least one or two serious clunkers"
From Larry Sanders: "Now I just had to pick a season....
Dustin doesn't pay me enough to make these sorts of Solomon-like choices. As far as I'm concerned, every season is worthy of a "Best Of..." list."
When they had to pick a season they did.
But now that Brian Prisco has admitted he has a huge hardon against the show because of the way it ended fine. It was only the 2nd best ending of a series ever, behind only Newhart in 1990, but I guess it confused the poor guy.
And to everyone saying, 'go away, shut up and fuck off', no. The absense of The Sopranos from this list is the huge pink elephant in the room and I plan to bring it up and mock it as often as possible.
Posted by: EricD at August 14, 2008 3:04 PM
Oh, Pajiba.
This was posted forever ago and nobody is going to read this, but that's okay. I know I've not been around these parts lately (the man has been making me work some pretty long hours and also...it's pretty outside) but looking through the comments here made me all gushy and soft inside. Kind of like seeing an old friend (an antisocial, cranky, odd, judgmental, and possibly smelly friend, but a friend nonetheless).
Although I couldn't be more thrilled about the X Files inclusion ("I'm cute and I'm cuddly, I'm GONNA KILL SCULLY!"), I always feel kinda bad for the Sirkickyasses of this world, especially when they aren't, in all fairness, doing anything besides trying to carry on a discussion. Sirkickyass was not, like...calling anyone a vagina head or anything. Ah well. Fun reading; thanks guys.
Posted by: tt_marie at August 14, 2008 3:48 PM
When I originally saw that Pajiba intended to identify the "20 Best Seasons" of the past two decades, I was intrigued by what would be included and what would be left off, but more than anything I was impressed by your ambition. To me, when critics promise to identify "the best" of any art form, it signals an attempt to acknowledge the highest quality, most influential work out there, regardless of their personal preferences. It also signals an attempt to speak to a broader audience, beyond the critics' most ardent fans. I couldn't help but wonder how the critics would tackle the Sopranos, Seinfeld, Frasier, and some of the other undeniably-great shows that don't get much attention on this site. If they finally had the stones to review "the Godfather," then surely they could find something original to say about Tony Soprano.
Unfortunately, at the end, Pajiba couldn't live up to its own words. To say that this is a list by fanboys for fanboys does have the ass-covering effect of explaining the list's glaring omissions, but it also undercuts any claim the site makes towards being critics for a general audience. If we wanted to see a Hipster/Geek's Guide to His Favorite 20 TV Seasons, there are any number of other sites we might turn to. I (along with, I suspect, SirKickyAss, EricD, and any other dissenters) hoped for quite a bit more breadth and sophistication from your talented group of writers.
I wonder whether all of your critics would agree with Dustin's limiting characterization of the list. It seemed like you were aiming so much higher than that, noticed the early fanboy-slant and tried to correct course by adding 5 more seasons halfway through, but then finally just gave up and lowered the bar ex post facto.
I hope you'll take the opportunity, at some point, to write up a list of Honorable Mentions or even Overrated TV Shows so that we do get to hear a more expanded take on those shows that could've easily found a place on this list but were bumped aside out of deference to the wishes of fanboy-dom. I recognize that it may be daunting to take on shows about which so much has already been said (perhaps an unspoken reason why certain shows have been avoided), but there's something about a Pajiba review that's unlike many others, so I for one welcome any attempts you may make.
Posted by: Gootch at August 14, 2008 4:11 PM
Well, "The X-Files" had a greater effect on me than "The Sopranos" in that I watched it and don't care about "The Sopranos". Eventually I got tired of its crushing bandwagon hype too and my ignorance gained some spite.
Course that's a subjective opinion, but of course, so is this list.
Posted by: Jay at August 14, 2008 4:28 PM
Gootch: Truth to power.
My only real complaint was that they weren't doing the sort of job they were capable of. An acknowledgment that they didn't accomplish the stated objective of naming the Best 20 Seasons was enough for me. That being said, I welcome attempts to, you know, be better.
Posted by: Sirkickyass at August 14, 2008 4:28 PM
"Kind of like seeing an old friend (an antisocial, cranky, odd, judgmental, and possibly smelly friend, but a friend nonetheless)."
You take that back, Titty Marie! I am not smelly!
P.S. It's nice to see your ass 'round these parts again. I missed you! Please to be not going away for so long again.
Posted by: Sarina at August 14, 2008 4:28 PM
Oh, Sarina, don't worry - I was talking about Pookie. I'm sure you smell like vanilla or flowers or something - or at least like dryer sheets and soap.
Good to know I'm still mostly known for my rack.
Posted by: tt_marie at August 14, 2008 7:13 PM
So here's the deal. We all have opinions, and some of us are even strident about them. Fine. Argue and defend away.
However, in a group setting fatigue occurs when only two or three members are actively -- nay, maniacally -- engaged. I don't happen to buy into the "we did it to make Pajiba better" line, but that's just me. There's a whole lot of wrongness spread around every part of this discussion (relative to my own tastes in television), but I'm not about to get bitchy over it (so now would be a good time for me to apologize to >EricD and Kicky for the baser parts of my participation in said discussion).
I still stand by my ongoing assertion that the pleas of the disaffected -- no matter how well-stated -- are entirely out of proportion to the gravity of the subject matter. I hope you guys bring even a fraction of that passion and focus to your real-life endeavors. Seriously. All this over The Sopranos?
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 14, 2008 7:54 PM
Good to know I'm still mostly known for my rack.
I wasn't going to bring up "big boobs mcgee" without provocation, but it's good to see you back.
Grovera, with any luck, we provide the practice for passionate souls such as theirs to redirect their energies to the greater good of their communities somehow. At least that's what I tell myself when I see yet another rehashing of this well-trod and quite over-used line of complaints/arguments. With any luck, Kicky will be some kind of social issues advocate who has won some kind of improvement thanks to his sharpening his claws and wit on our collective hides.
If this is all just for fun because they've got nothing better to do, then I'm gonna have to warm up my OmniTaser Supreme and release some frustration. After so many weeks of beating a dead horse, the smell and the flies get really nasty, and they kinda damage our collective good mood.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 14, 2008 8:13 PM
For the past few months I have been pimping this site to everyone I know. Its overkill but I don't feel like I can now. This list of the 20 best seasons is an embarrassment.
Posted by: EricD at August 15, 2008 12:27 AM
For the past few months I have been pimping this site to everyone I know.
Posted by: EricD at August 15, 2008 12:27 AM
The spam-bots explained...
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 15, 2008 1:09 AM
The spam-bots explained...
Zing!
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 15, 2008 1:56 AM
EricD, if you judge this place solely by some of its commenters, your friends will find no better collection of articulate yet navel-gazing BSG/Buffy/Veronica Mars fanboys anywhere. Except for maybe Aint It Cool News.
Some of the staff, bless them, tries to expand the site's horizons from time to time. I'll let you judge how successful they've been.
Posted by: Gootch at August 15, 2008 11:02 AM
...The Sopranos sucks!
Thought it was about time I lived up to the troll part of my thingy. Name.
I think the main reason I wasn't 100% overjoyed by the list so far was that a few of my favourites weren't included, and therefore weren't given the opportunity to be reviewed in depth by one of the Pajiba staffers.
But then I realised; hey, my homework won't ignore itself. And I moved right on with my life.
X-Files wasn't half bad, especially the episodes with vampires and shit. There were vampire eps, right?
Posted by: Ben (The Harry Potter-Bashing Troll) at August 16, 2008 2:55 PM
EricD, if you judge this place solely by some of its commenters, your friends will find no better collection of articulate yet navel-gazing BSG/Buffy/Veronica Mars fanboys anywhere. Except for maybe Aint It Cool News.
Posted by: Gootch at August 15, 2008 11:02 AM
My oh my. Fanboy bitchslaps. Woot!
Since I have seen exactly zero episodes of BSG/Buffy/Veronica Mars -- not to mention that OCD trigger, The Sopranos -- I feel particularly qualified to address your concerns objectively (read: I don't give a shit about TV).
But first let me extend a proper warm and moist Pajiba welcome to those of you drawn into this den of perfidy by the 20 Best 20. The primary aim here is amusement -- often at one another's expense. And that's just the staff.
As to the matter at hand: anyone anal enough to troll these archives should find that I have not weighed in on the qualitative aspect of the 20B20 (other than to give a shout-out to Chappelle's Show). This is precisely because of my qualifications alluded to above. Yet I have been quite active during the discussion phase. Hypocrisy? Conundrum? Methinks not, although I'm momentarily distracted considering the term "hyponundrum".
I'm just tired and bored and bored and tired and then really, really annoyed by the failure of certain correspondents to comprehend when to stop. If any of them believes that they haven't been able to get their point across yet and that further argumentation is needed to stress it, then they are any or all of dense (for their lack of situational comprehension), arrogant (for their implied assumption that the rest of us are too stupid to understand them) or socially retarded (for their inability to recognize the dynamic of the group upon which they are forcing themselves). While arrogance alone may not get your Pajiba card revoked (duh!), the other two in all likelihood will. And if the idea of being scorned for behaving in the manner outlined above is too much for your delicate sensibilities to bear, well...I've already expressed that particular opinion.
If you like what you see here then stick around. If you don't like it, there are other URLs on the net. Don't for one second think that your voices weren't heard...they just weren't appreciated.
The End...and no, I'm not trying to supplant TMax!
Posted by: Che Grovera at August 16, 2008 4:10 PM
I think everybody is fine with it being by fanboys and for fanboys, we're just surprised that you don't have more Sopranos and Seinfeld fanboys.
Posted by: skibum at August 17, 2008 2:49 PM
Oh, and also: neither Arrested nor Sex and the City would have existed without Seinfeld.
Posted by: skibum at August 17, 2008 2:52 PM
Seinfeld the show was an ocean of boring and annoying, with scattered buouys of occasional hilarity. Seinfeld the person is the living embodiment of the pain caused by an inner-ear infection.
Posted by: Sarina at August 17, 2008 4:58 PM
I don't believe in what you just said.
Posted by: Jay at August 17, 2008 5:28 PM
"Sex and the City would not have existed without Seinfeld."
That makes absolutely zero sense. None whatsoever. I mean, talk about an apples and oranges situation.
I always found Seinfeld to be terminally boring, self-indulgent, and obvious.
Posted by: I Love Beets at August 18, 2008 9:07 AM
Sorry, the above post makes more sense if I included the "Neither Arrested nor" part of skibum's sentence.
Regardless, the statement is still ridiculous. Seinfeld paved the way for SatC? What?!
Posted by: I Love Beets at August 18, 2008 9:09 AM
Having been on an X-Files crusade of epic proportions of late, i feel so great that this is included. We got the 9 seasons plus movie X-Files box set two weeks ago, i was so obsessed with the show from the age of 12 up, didn't know if i really wanted to watch it again, in case it wouldn't stand up after all this time, but it is brilliant enough to have sucked us into watching a few episodes a day and forsaking loads of other stuff we should be watching/doing.
We are in the middle of season 4 at the moment, the show just gets exponentially better. Just watched Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man and i swear i would give it 10 out of 10, it is the best episode of any tv show ever made, ever. It has everything you could possibly want. Including the Cigarette Smoking Man saying this to an old homeless lady on a bench:
"Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers."
Posted by: tiggyT at August 26, 2008 10:30 PM
I am so watching it again tomorrow. And maybe making a poster of a shadowy figure cloaked in swirling smoke with that quote printed underneath to hang up in my hall closet, if the hilarity hasn't worn off.
Posted by: tiggyT at August 26, 2008 10:31 PM
