Pajiba

Seriously, CBS? You renew Two and a Half (MORONIC) Men AND The Big Bang Theory, but you have yet to do the same for HIMYM? Has anyone (besides me) actually sat through an episode of the Big Bang Theory? I was all atwitter because the Barenaked Ladies were getting some love, but I could barely stomach the damn thing. I even gave it a second chance just in case they were off their game the first time. Nope. It's just crap.

And Jim Werdell may be smart man, but I KNOW what good TV is. And his list ain't it.

TV Whore: Don't go scaring a guy -- "Boston Legal" reruns have been purchased by ION (to air, seriously, along with "Mama's Family" and "Baywatch"; fall renewal on ABC is still up in the air.

Never really got into FNL, watched up the 2nd season of BSG and watch Dexter every now and again, but I stay away from Gossip Girl, Grey's, and Private Practice like it's the fucking plague. I don't have to rip up my Pajiba card, do I?

Also, I'm guessing that MENSA list has some politics involved and not completely honest. Let ol' Joe Six-pack think that he's really smart for watching CSI and House (nothing wrong with the latter, but like Seth said, there are much smarter shows on TV).

Frankly, the only thing I now care about is this: Does Alex show up meekly agreeing to her TV indiscretions, or does she come out swinging.

[anxiously taps fingers]

Sadly, I have no cable, so I've missed every show for nearly the past decade (I am just starting season two of Veronica Mars) but gleaned from popular opinion a) 'House' has nothing but made-for-TV medical stuff, not anything remotely resembling a fact. b) 'The Wire' is one of the very best series on TV.

wtf mr. mensa?

That Mensa list isn't smart TV, it's TV featuring smart characters. (i.e. people who Mensa members would like to be.) He'd probably put 'Head of the Class' and the 'Cosby Show' on there if it were 1986. Oh Carl Sagan we miss your Billions and Billions...

CBS has made some awful programming choices of late. It's like they don't want viewers under 45, within an urban radius of 25 miles. Ever since JAG, they've had no less than 3 or 4 military shows a year, procedurals at that (so boring). I'm not very religous but Joan of Arcadia was getting interesting before they pulled the plug, rolled it in a rug and threw it off the pier. How I met your Mother is the only half hour comedy I watch consistently (b/c 30 Rock isn't freaking on consistently)*. I've watched Numb3rs a few times in a sad staying in on a friday and couldn't remember much except that the math is kinda interesting, if dumbed down.

Any idea how they're going to put Dexter on? It's pretty gruesome, but good as is.

Guten morgen, Amanda

*Calm down! I don't watch The Office b/c I saw all of the British version many years ago while living abroad and, well, I feel bad for Ricky Gervais.

'Maybe one of our across-the-pond readers can give us a heads up about whether this show is any good, as I believe it's already aired there.'

Be glad to oblige;

It's shit.

I can't say whether "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" is any good, but I can say that the secretaries in London firm's are certianly an improvement over DC.

Hey Cavemen fans! Why not cut out your brains and send them to ABC?! You aren't using them anyway, and they need to feed that zombie of a lead actress, Ellen Pompeo.

Ion is the channel that somehow got the rights to air Terry Pratchet's Hogfather in the US. Which is why NO ONE saw it when it aired in November of last year. I have Comcast and every channel available to them(thanks to my Comcast employee wife, and yes she hates them too) and I don't even have ION.

Ricky Gervais is an executive producer of the US Office so I think he's fine with you watching. I loved the Gervais version but I love the US version too. Very different animals.

I'm sad about BW, but not surprised. It's a shame because the show had so much potential and that was wasted. I can't wait to see MR in other things though...i hope she comes back to Hollywood.

I am lost for words. In equal parts flattered that you care so much about the state of my TV related IQ and humiliated that my admission of shit TV watching (except Gossip Girl - I will defend that show to the death) no longer languishes in an old trade round-up comments section but is instead paraded out for the world to see.

You actually called me out for my TV habits? For serious Seth? You cut me man, you cut me deep. And I would have so enjoyed admissions of dirty thoughts too. You can't tell but I'm pouting right now.

You do realise that as a Brit I have to either illegally download or buy this stuff, right? I am at the mercy of my charming friend who provides me with free televisual entertainment - I have asked for FNL repeatedly but he does not intend on procuring it for me, likewise for The Wire. (He does however get One Tree Hill on a weekly basis, will get me any Anime I so desire and practically pushes Private Practice on me, make of that what you will) I literally had to beg for Dexter and the dearly departed Ms. Mars - I do the best I can. And you're threatening me by holding alcohol hostage? My sweet, problem solving, world making right again sustenance? You, Sir are a sadist and a cad of the highest order and (to channel one of the finest minds of our century) I am forced to turn my back on you.

In short: Bite me Whore - I'm utterly broke and you just cost me fifty bucks. You've also guilted me into an evening digging around in my storage boxes. Smaller apartment = BSG is probably in the loft.

Although any time you want to talk about those dirty, dirty thoughts....

What? I'm just sayin'

I agree with Alex (totally not referring to myself in the third person by the way) the show is indeed shit. Please refrain from watching it, Billie Piper really doesn't need any more encouragement.

[whinge]Why isn't BSG back on NOW!? I shouldn't have to wait to find out who the fifth is![/whinge]

Wait... BSG was in your storage boxes?

In-ex-fucking-cusable.

Alex the Odd... you HANG YOUR HEAD IN SHAME!!!

Sorry to have to call you out, but Billie Piper isn't a legal secretary in Secret Diary. She tells people that's her job so they'll be bored and stop asking her what she does. No part-time whoring for this girl.

I moved house, TK! My books are in storage boxes. My fucking BOOKS, man. I only have three measly bookcases in my current place. Three. Seriously do you have any idea how hard it was for me having to put any of my beautiful, love worn books into dark and soulless boxes? Well do you???!?!? And yeah, I have every single shelf in the living room crammed with DVDs and PS2 games but there simply isn't enough space for all my shit. I had to store some stuff and nobody else in my social circle watches BSG, let alone my flatmates - if I'm taking up all our storage space with my stuff it probably should be things my flatamates can actually use (and don't get me started on trying to get them into it I couldn't even get them to sit through an episode of Firefly. Firefly, people one of the greatest shows in existance. These people are anti sci-fi in the extreme). Unless somebody builds me a tardis that's the way it has to be.

So how about we CUT ME SOME SLACK

Hmmmmmmmm...and thus, we establish the difference between MEnsa and Pajiba; all the brains in the world can't give you taste or class (I'm looking at you Dawkins). What absolutely astounds me (ASTOUNDS, I say!) is the inclusion of CSI on the list. How anybody can sit down and say, in sound body and mind, that the Judge Dredd clusterfuck that is CSI counts as watchable progaramming is completely beyond me. As for Alex, well... Come on, Gossip Girl? Really? You're better than that! Even I'm not gay enough to sit through an hour of that. But we should probably cut you some slack on that one, since we all probably have televised skeletons in our closets.

TK
Please don't make me drive across the state to defend AtO's honor. It would be especially difficult since my car is in the shop and all.

Perhaps you would like apologize to our dear British(half Irish) biologist friend for jumping to conclusions about her and her priorities?

Oh, and the show itself is essentially better-acted porn, but without much actual nudity.
Billie can act outside Doctor Who (check out her as Hero in the thoroughly excellent Much Ado About Nothing in the Shakespeare Retold series), she just doesn't seem to be entirely keen to prove it at the moment.

Alex shouldn't that be 'shite'?

Alex the Odd ahem ARES. It's a life saver.
I guess Friday Night Lights would be a little boring in England but Dexter be pretty popular there. ;-)

tamatha, you're too kind.

Thanks Amanda - I shall certainly look in to it. I do actually have a soft spot for American Football in movie/TV form (Varsity Blues gets me every time, when I'm not sniggering at the accents) so FNL is pretty much the perfect show for me.

I have watched Dexter up til the last couple of episodes of season 2 - I just got distracted by something shiny and didn't make it all the way to the end. I'm a chronic non-finisher, seriously: you should see my memory card, I have issues with completion.

Not watching FNL seems to be a reasonable stance. American Football (especially High School level), is too close to a religion to be entertaining.

Oh yeah... MAD ABOUT YOU!!???!!! Looks like someone cheated on his MENSA entrance exam...

Am I the only one who lost interest in Weeds this past season? By the time that house was burning, I really couldn't have cared less.

Alex The Odd: Don't worry sweetheart. I'm heading home next month and will drop through London and sneak some contraband liquids your way.

Meanwhile, the whole Mensa thing. I know that high IQ doesn't necessarily equate to knowledgeable but seriously, CSI? Mad About You? And the ethnocentricity of it all? Presumably he's never watched any of the Brit crime dramas such as Prime Suspect that would blow CSI (ooh, do you think the big name actor in scene 1 just might be the killer?) out of the water. CSI is a procedural for really dumb people who require the maximum expositionary dialogue and anvils falling so fast they would hurt if the viewer's heads weren't so dense.

Perhaps AtO should apply for refugee status in the States instead of being persecuted more for things outside her control.

Really, the girl is crying out for help, here. She's stranded in a desolate land, amongst harsh roommates, with very little televisual comfort.

It's almost Dickensian.

Twig: House isn't intended to be medically factual. The plots in the Sherlock Holmes books were equally outrageous. The smartness of House is in the very clever homage to Holmes and in being able to turn a real misanthrope into a beloved character because of the witty dialogue and of course superb acting (it's actually the same "smart" as All in The Family).

re Ricky Gervais, Jon Stewart hosted a benefit night for autism last year and Ricky Gervais introduced Steve Carrell. His line was "And now Steve Carrell will come on stage and do the exact same act as me and get paid ten times as much".

You are an angel from the highest reaches of heaven PaddyDog. Truly.

"re Ricky Gervais, Jon Stewart hosted a benefit night for autism last year and Ricky Gervais introduced Steve Carrell. His line was "And now Steve Carrell will come on stage and do the exact same act as me and get paid ten times as much"."

Well obviously, becase Steve Carrell is awesome and Gervais? Vile. Little. Goblin. Man.

I do have to give him points for being semi amusing in the above quote though, which hurts me.

"I'm a chronic non-finisher, seriously..."
posted by Alex The Odd

And a thousand Internet sexual fantasies go down in flames. Who is going to hold Vermillion's hand when he reads that?

Oh leave ATO alone! I feel I must defend her as well (though she did a pretty good job herself). There is almost so much TV watching a person can do in a day. Her priorities might be off but having been to England many times, she lives in a country that is usually a season off from current shows! Like Wednesday said, it is a desolate wasteland. The entertainment is full of tabloids, topless women in the newspaper and British soap operas! (I loved me some Eastenders when I would visit over there.) She needs our help and our prayers that she will win some money and be able to buy all these quality shows. And I will go ahead and admit that I have watched all eps of Greys and Private Practice. *bows head in shame*

HEY! What's wrong with Gossip Girl? I like me some Upper East Siders. Also...Blair is heavenly...you know, in a demonic sort of way. Seriously, you haven't laughed until you've seen Chuck in his little gay scarves squinting and pouting about doing something eeeeevil. Which usually involves a Blackberry.

I haven't watched The Wire, I stopped watching FNL after the first season because I lost interest. Too much football and drama.

I live in Norway, we never get any of these shows until they're at least in Season 3, so I download. Bittorrent is my friend. And if that makes me bad...well...I am.

Alex, I feel your pain about non-sci-fi-friendly friends. It's depressing.

I'll still watch an episode of pre-1980 M*A*S*H* now and again. Colonel Potter's cultural references, designed to set him apart generationally from his compadres, are now almost a century old. That, like, trips me out.

Here's to Harry Morgan, still kicking!

Netflix offers the first seasons of both Dexter and Friday Night Lights for free with the "Watch Now" feature. It's true.

Mad About You?! Is he serious?

That show sucked ass on sooo many different levels. It just sucked. It sucked like a NASA-developed superpowered nuclear Hoover. That show blew ass.

And that's not even mentioning that one character's (Ira?) dumb, DUMB ass hairstyle... What the hell do you even call that? He had a luxurious full head of hair, but it started HALFWAY BACK HIS GODDAMED SKULL! Face the facts, brother - YOU ARE GOING BALD - do it with some dignity and grace, without trying to overcompensate by growing what you DO have into some bushy friggin'... Why? Just... why?

Helen Hunt should be loaded into some sort of space coffin and launched into the outer reaches...

Paul Reisser (sp?) is more spastic than a baby coming off a 3-day coke binge. He sucks balls.

That show sucked. Period. I'm officially warming up the MurderTank...

I am sad to see that Cavemen is getting cancelled though. It seemed to have an untapped potential. RIP my hairy brothers, rest in peace.

And I also am with ATO and joker on the non sci-fi friends. I have netflix and I pretty much hole up on the weekend and watch DVDs of wonderfully campy Stargate SG-1. It's my guilty pleasure. I have 10 seasons to watch and no life. And Firefly is the one thing that I can watch over and over and it just gives me a nice warm glow of happiness. My friends think I am crazy, but they are missing out.

So, is Boston Legal actually a good show? I can't watch it, even though I have much love for James Spader, because I absolutely hate David E. Kelley shows (with the notable exception of Chicago Hope).

Wednesday, are you implying that Alex the Odd is like Oliver Twist? I was thinking she's more along the lines of Miss Havisham, spending decades in self-imposed misery after being abandoned by her (television) loves. All the mental image needs is cobwebs, a tattered wedding dress, and a big decomposing cake.

As for MENSA, somebody needs to whisper in that guy's ear that "shows with a lot of jargon" are not necessarily the "smartest shows". And even though "The Simpsons" has a surfeit of cheap toilet humor these days, the early seasons' stuff clearly outweighs something like "CSI". (To wit: re-using the treaty from the Franco-Prussian War to negotiate a truce between Bart and Nelson, or "Young lady, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!".)

lyricalcatt, I love Stargate SG-1 too. I also watch Atlantis. I'm just horribly nerdy. We should have a Pajiba Sci-Fi Festival or something. Bring booze.

What.

The.

FUCK.

How DARE you, sir, treat my beloved in such a way? She has bent over backwards (slight pause to imagine) and proven time and again her right...nay, her very destiny to be here, and you DARE insult her good name and delicious tattoos for events out of her control. I cannot bring myself to to spit upon you, my disgust is so great.

Sir, this affront will not stand! I demand satisfaction! Pistols at DAWN!!!!! TO THE PAIN!!!!!!

So glad to see Frasier on the Mensa list. During my masters program, I spent my summers doing research on a remote island with no electricity, and for entertainment, a radio with mostly crap stations (thank goodness I like to read!). The local TV station's audio could be picked up on radio, and played Frasier reruns every evening, and damned if the gags are not every bit as enjoyable with no picture.

Takes a clever sitcom to get away with that; too many just seem to rely on the cute kid mugging for the camera for laughs.

I would humbly suggest replacing CSI with Bones, however. Love those squints.

I still watch Atlantis, even though it's not as good as SG-1. I guess campy sci-fi shows are my Grey's Anatomy or Gossip Girl - I know they're stupid, but I enjoy them anyway.

P.S. Skittimus - I saw Ira on an episode of L&O last week, and his hairline is exactly the same as it was on Mad About You. So, either he's not going bald or he decided to go with a rug.

Three-nineteen, I happen to really like Boston Legal.

But only because of the hilarious frantic camera movement they use when shooting William Shatner's character.

And Murphy mothafuckin' Brown.

All in all, I think it is worth a viewing.

See what horrors you have wrought Seth? you've somehow turned me into a tragic heroine.

I hope you're proud. I certainly am.

(Full disclaimer: you actually were utterly right to call me out on my shocking TV viewing habits and were indeed correct in assuming that I only didn't offer to turn in my credentials for fear of the alcoholic penalty)

Skittimus you have got to lay off the VRBs some day! But not Today. Because Today you are hilarious. Are you going bald? It's okay if you are.

Am I alone in thinking that Helen Hunt is remarkably shrill? She plays passive aggressive brilliantly. All the time.

Wow 319 I think we have the exact opposite opinions. James Spader is greasy and has been playing the same prep school brat for 20 yrs now (see Pretty in Pink). Chicago Hope was godawful and hammy, especially compared to ER 'The Original'. In the words of SNL Clooney "How low will Chicago Hope go? Leeches! Come on! Seriously?"

BTW both my bosses are 'sick' and I've had three mugs o' coffee. Can you tell? I'm getting itchy for a rant...

MO: I always thought Frasier was one of the best sitcoms ever to grace the small screen. Perfect timing, no cheap laughs, endearing. Love that show.

It looks like MENSA's list-maker started out the list, then got bored and went for a nice, hot cup of lead paint tea. The first part of the list is defensible, at least. MASH, All in the Family, Frasier -- all smartly written and complex, with subtlety and layered plots; I could quibble with some of the middle, e.g., CSI, but there's enough technical stuff in there that I could see geeks loving it. I just don't like police procedural TV. Boston Legal, West Wing . . . I guess.

Then the lead paint kicks in. Mad About You? How about Mad About the 50 Hours of My Life My Idiot First Wife Wasted Watching Paul Reiser Act Awkward? Fucking Jeopardy? Mr. Werdell must have missed the meeting where they discussed the sharp distinction between strength of memory and raw cognitive analytical power (IQ problems are usually solved with the latter). Unless he thinks it takes a super-brain to remember to "answer in the form of a question." No, Mr. Werdell, it takes a super-douchenozzle to remember that.

RE: Mensa list:

Mad Men says hi. So do all of the great quasi-educational nerd shows like Mythbusters and Junkyard Wars. And I'll even make a case for The Mole - aside from Anderson Cooper, the contestants travelled the world and had to use their brains to solve challenges, scheme, and take tests to advance in the contest. Though I will admit that I loved Mad About You and would consider it a smart show.

And thank God Cavemen is off the air. Now my friend has no excuse to say she accidentally caught an episode and unintentionally enjoyed it.

Oh Vermillion, you slay me sir. Slay me!!

Here in Canada, we have episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl for our viewing pleasure and may I just echo the sentiment that the show blows?

Because people? It does. It blows huge, hairy chunks. My husband (the little perv) was all "ooh, this looks interesting, let's watch it!" and seriously, 14 minutes into this fucking piece of shit that passes for a tv show, I look over and he's sound asleep.

Do yourself a favour, don't watch the show.

Alex the Odd,
Yes, we are woefully behind when it comes to the good shows. We either have to spend money we don't have on DVDs (and bastard Customs & Excise always catch me for the duty on my imports!), or risk having our collars felt by the rozzers.
Though I cling to the fact that downloading for personal use apparently isn't an offence here - unless Bittorrent negates that because of the sharing? Anyway, if the Government has it's way, they'll put a stop to that. Because they are SO net-savvy, it will be foolproof! *snerk*

I'm all caught up on Dexter, and am now four eps in to FNL season 1. (That one, I did get on DVD, as it was nice and cheap!) I have no interest in, or knowledge of, American football, but that doesn't make a difference to my enjoyment of the show. So far, I think it's really good.

Poor you, with your books and DVDs hiding in the attic!

risk having our collars felt by the rozzers.

This happens to my dogs a lot.

WTF? [/asserts arrogant cultural hegemony. Is virtually killed, then dragged through cyber-street in front of U.S. e-embassy.]

The only shows on the mensa list I can agree with are MASH (!!!) and Frasier. God only knows what those people were smoking to think all the others were a good idea (tho I want some of whatever it is)
I am standing by Alex the Odd here as well...being poor sometimes makes you do things you are not the most proud of, but no way can you be blamed for them...
and kudos on the Princess Bride quote, Vermillion

I hate ER because of Mark "Holier Than Thou" Green. Everything that came out of his mouth was sanctimonious bullshit.

"Oh, I'm too good a person to go into private practice even though it would mean more money for my struggling family - I want to SAVE LIVES!"

"Oh, I'm too good a doctor to transfer to Milwaukee so my wife can pursue her legal dreams. They don't have real hospitals there, and people don't get shot often enough. I'm just going to let my family move there without me. Now my wife's having an affair and my marriage is over. How could that have possibly happened?"

"Oh, I will treat that rapist/murderer if no one else will. How DARE they not want to help him, they're neglecting their moral responsibility as doctors! Wait - now this other criminal is threatening my new wife? I'll just let him die in this elevator."

"Oh, I have an inoperable brain tumor because Anthony Edwards wants to leave the show? But he doesn't want to leave until the end of next season? Then I'll just take forever and ever and ever and ever and ever WHY DON'T I JUST DIE ALREADY?"

Plus Anthony Edwards said in an interview that ER was "like St. Elsewhere on acid". I suppose, if acid makes you stupid and say everything really fast. (Maybe he meant speed?) In my book, you don't dis St. Elsewhere.

I didn't watch the American version of The Office because I thought the British version was perfect, even though my family is actually from Scranton. But upon recommendation of Pajibblers (particularly Ms. Litelysalted), I gave it a whirl. It really is pretty good. It's a different animal.

I can't wait until they cancel Weeds, because I want to see what people mail in to those studio heads.

I haven't seen Friday Night Lights or Battlestar Galactica yet. I've been weeping over The Wire going away, and consoling myself with constant viewings of Trapped In The Closet by that hiphopera maestro R. Kelly.

And if you'd like to get back at Seth, just type in these lyrics, "Fly Eagles Fly, On the road to victory." My bet is that he must compulsively complete the entire song like Cartman when he hears "Come Sail Away".

So, this is what happens when I take the day off and sleep in?

ATO - don't feel bad, I still haven't seen any of the "good" shows Seth mentioned, either. I don't watch the "crappy" ones, though, so I guess I can't help you there.

Poor Vermillion is going to blow a gasket. Seth's punishment should be to watch every episode of Gossip Girl AND write an essay about the important role that fashion plays in the show.

On Christmas Day, I was running around the house trying to get out the door to the relatives' place. Frasier was on TBS that morning (I never see daytime TV due to daytime work). It was the Christmas episode where Frasier is dating a Jewish woman who told her mother Frasier was also Jewish.
Despite the fact I was late, I had to sit and watch the whole episode. When Frasier sees Niles (dressed as Jesus for a play) and shrieks "JESUS!!!", I almost bust a gut laughing.

So, yeah, mad props to Frasier. Scratching my head over the other Mensa choices. What, has he not watched TV for ten years?

OK, I guess it's my turn to fuck up the tags.

Are you insanely hung over too Kolby?

Bionic Suc...err Woman, is being cancelled! I'm.....shocked...

Y'all are cracking me up today!

Three-nineteen, never thought about Dr.Green like that, but you have a terribly amusing point there.

insertclevernamehere, in the event of cancellation, is there any way we can trick Weeds fans to send their stash to my address??

Socalled, buddy, don't knock Jeopardy! Compared to most of its genre, it requires a fair bit of general knowledge (as opposed to, say, that glorified game of hangman with lots o' pretty lights and a big spinny thing....).

And I have a soft spot for anything that lets me flex my useless trivia muscle.

And Alex rocks (Trebek, that is; The Odd is also a cool gal of course!).

So, OK, maybe not top-10 overall smartypants viewing material, but as game shows go....

Not hungover, Alex, just 30.

I also woke up today having pulled something in the general area of my tailbone. No, I cannot explain how that happened. Good gods it hurts like a mofo to walk, sneeze, cough and get in and out of the car.

I guess it really is all downhill from here.

WAIT a minute HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "Mad About You" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Paul Reiser and Helen "I'm really a dude" Hunt, Mad About You!?!?!?!

Is Mensa being run by Bush appointees now?

Then I nominate Tekwar, the gripping story of Tek, in the time of War, with fat William Shatner as the mysterious corporate figure who manipulates Greg Evigan into not working with a monkey.

Happy (belated?) birthday Kolby!

B-Slim...man, I've been missing out, having never seen Tekwar. It sounds enthralling.

And if you'd like to get back at Seth, just type in these lyrics, "Fly Eagles Fly, On the road to victory." My bet is that he must compulsively complete the entire song like Cartman when he hears "Come Sail Away".

Ha ha ha!! Insert, sadly enough, that is something that plagues ALL of us Eagles fans.

*hit em low, hit em high, and watch those Eagles fly....

Thanks, Julie. Not belated, though. This is it. Now, if you'll excuse me, there are a couple of whippersnappers on my lawn that I need to introduce myself to.

Oooh in that case:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE KOLBY!!!

Many happy returns!

Oh dear, the pain starts right away when you hit 30?

Well, aside from that--hope you have a fabulous day Kolby!!

Yeah, thirty. The age itself didn't bother me in the least. No, it's the list of medical shit that I apparently have to watch out for now. Last time I had a physical, I was in my early twenties... Now, I think there's like a whole shitload of stuff I'm s'posed to be getting checked for.

Cholestrol? Fuck, I can't even spell it, let alone keep an eye on it.

Sodium and Blood Pressure? Uh... I think there's one of those arm-crusher machines at Target, but the numbers might as well be in Arabic, 'cause I haven't a fuckin' clue as to what they mean...

Prostate? Is that the finger in my butt thing? Is it? You gotta buy me a drink and rub my shoulders a little first, pal...

Yeah thirty. I remember that birthday. Enjoy it Kolby, and should someone give you a list of all the shit you're supposed to keep an eye on, email it to me, would ya? I seem to have missplaced that memo.

Helen Hunt eats poo.

Skittimus! It hurts to laugh!

I'm sorry, but there is no excuse not to watch FNL... sorry Ato but that just doesnt' cut it. you can goto www.nbc.com and watch full eps right there. the FULL eps.

and Adam C Football is not LIKE a religion, it IS a religion in Texas... and this world is a better place for it.

Nico, those NBC links sadly don't work outside of the States. Learned that the hard way when I tried to catch up on 30 Rock.

Well, Nico, not unless you're in the U.S.

Happy birthday, Kolby. Don't sweat it. My sister asked me when I made fun of her for turning 30: "What can you do, at 22 that I can't do now?". Indeed.

I'm still getting over turning 25, the health department sent me a brochure telling me to get myself checked for uterus cancer or something like that. Gee...thanks for freaking me out.

well then, since a lot of people can't or dont' pirate.. I'm gonna take my foot out of my mouth and... yeah SETH gosh.. don't be so hard on people...

that is unless ATO knows how to proxy into a US server? ehh probably not.

I'd like to give a shout out to Northern Exposure. That show was smart, alluding to everything from Freud to Scorsese without missing a beat. Plus, it had sexual tension to spare. Absolutely brilliant.

I feel for you Kolby...7 more months for me...is it weird that I am already calling myself 30? Why am I not getting the full out of my 20's? God! 29 is an awful year, because you know what's looming behind you...

First off, Happy Birthday Kolby! Second, don't feel bad AtO, I've never seen a single episode of any of the following:

Firefly
Battlestar Galactica
Friday Night Lights
Weeds
The Wire
Dexter
The Office

There are undoubtedly more. Those are just the ones I can think of right off the top of my head. I make a valiant effort to whittle down my Netflix queue; I just keep bumping the movies above all the shows. It's a time thing - less than 2 hours for the average movie, versus the better part of a day for a season of a show. The majority of my leisure time is dedicated to idiot shenanigans with my friends, so I almost never watch actual television. If it's not on the Discovery Channel somewhere around midnight on a weekday, I've probably never seen it. The only exception is Project Runway, which I am crazily addicted to for reasons I don't even understand. I think it's because someone always cries over absolutely nothing.

What does it mean if the only two television shows I have ever really loved are Battlestar Galactica and Gossip Girl? Is this indicative of split-personality disorder? Ought I to be worried?

Also, happy birthday Kolby! We February babies are the coolest!

Sorry, Socalled, clearly a PG Wodehouse quote was a step too far for your culture... ;-)
His books are embedded in my subconscious so well that I sometimes find myself using very old-fashioned sayings, which can confuse people. Not that that'll stop me!

It means 'getting arrested', by the way....

What the f is Cosmos? And All in the Family as one of the smartest shows? Try one of the most racist shows. Good grief does this guy need to get out more...actually, I correct myself...he needs to stay in more and watch some good tube!

"Cosmos" was the Carl Sagan show about the mysteries of outer space, probably most famous for Sagan's routine "bhill-yuns and bhill-yuns" phrase. Good show, hard science presented with a little flair to get people interested. By and large, it failed, because most people don't really want to know things.

All in the Family was racist? I know they played Archie's bigotry for laughs, but he was definitely the butt of the joke. Rob Reiner would cringe if he heard that.

shave their heads and mail the hair to ABC's Entertainment President.

Why don't they tatoo 19-0 there while their at it.

Yom Huledes Samayach Kolby!

Carl Sagan was DA.' MAN. and he was a Brooklyn boy if I'm not mistaken. Plus he had a beautiful, soothing, speaking voice.

Hey, why did I not get the memo that today was "Pick on Alex the Odd" day? Cut a sista some slack. Damn. I usually don't end up watching Friday Night Lights.

I watched Arrested Development. Only to have my heart broken.

I watched Veronica Mars. Heart Broken.

Remember Freaks & Geeks? Broken.

It's emotionally draining. I'm not ready for another tv relationship.

Why the hell is Futurama not on that list? What other show uses the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, references Vonnegut and Ice Nine, AND correctly name the ingredients of candy hearts as earwig honey and bone meal?

None. That's what.

Happy Birthday Kolby!!

Futurama is great, it has a character named LaBarbara. There's also a dude in golden short-shorts whose name escapes me.

Um yeah, if you don't live in the States and don't get cable, there's just an assload of shows you'll never see. I don't know any of your wicked ninja t.v. moves either, so I'm a slave to the law.

I did see part of that Billie Piper show once. Once. Tedium wears a garter. I think I was just blitzed off of having watched Spaced on YouTube, and hearing that awful 'Because We Want To' song on it.

SO.SO.SO.SO.BORING.VERY.BORING.SO.BORING.BORING.

Lord, never thought I'd say I miss American TV, but all this talk of BSG and Firefly and Arrested Development, the shout out to Northern Exposure... and all those poor books in boxes, just like mine back in storage... and trying to remember what I'm supposed to keep an eye on after 30... thanks everyone for making me cry at work.

With a list like that, the president of MENSA can officially suck my dick.

You'd think that the chairperson of MENSA would know the difference between real science and pseudo-science. "CSI" and "House" as smart TV shows? Anybody who's ever studied medicine should be able to find at least half a dozen errors during the first thirty minutes of those shows.