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And So, Pajiba Presents: The Single Worst GIF Of All Time

By Petr Knava | Social Media | March 6, 2019 |

By Petr Knava | Social Media | March 6, 2019 |


single-worst-gif-header.png

Friends, I know I moan a lot to you about imperialism and capitalism and climate change whatnot. But it’s because I care. Because I love. Despite the despair.

That love is manifest I think in, among other things, my waxing poetic about whales, or Labradors running rapturously to the sea. There is found in this cold and unfeeling universe a lone and obscure corner filled to the bursting with the most dazzling explosion of warmth and life (for now), and it really does breed potent amounts of wonder.

And then, wedged somewhere in between the despair and the wonder, there is this GIF. This fleeting moment on the cosmic timescale. This blossoming of sublime terror under azure skies that I’m really struggling to process. This… This…

Well, this:

Should we tell them? from r/gifs

I’m sorry if I’m being dramatic but:

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

Okay so that’s most likely Australia, because that was most likely a huntsman spider. I’ve written about the wonderful creature that is the huntsman before. And it is wonderful. It’s largely harmless too. Huntsmans are huge, and they can be mean, but by and large they are not really a threat.

But still.

It’s the moment, you know? It’s the banal serenity of a mid-range car sat idly in traffic underneath friendly skies. A situation repeated a million times with nary a tweak to the formula. It’s the moment in which your perception adjusts to what you’re seeing, assesses that there is absolutely no threat to be seen anywhere, and so you relax into a complacent, half-smiling boredom. It’s the way that boredom is suddenly jolted a bit by the ominous zoom. It’s they way you brain perks up a little bit with a, ‘But why a zoom?’ It’s the way the most ancient and primordial, instinctive part of that brain catches sight of movement before the other processes have even begun to wake back up. Movement where there should be none. And then it’s the way it’s just there. A violent, alien shape that materialises out of absolutely nowhere and that—purely by the nature of its motion—scratches at your alarms and raises the troops to fight or flee, and that then folds itself into a space into which it does not belong, and that—before you even know it, just as easily as it appeared out of nowhere, it disappears back into a new nowhere.

Should we tell them? from r/gifs

I JUST DON’T LIKE IT, ALRIGHT?!



Petr is a staff contributor. You can follow him on Twitter.



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