Pajiba

Funny you should reference that song, 'cause I was just thinking the other day...if they'd set the opening of the trailer for this movie to the opening of that song, well, that would be awesome and I would want to go see it.

Aw, man, I'd been wanting to see this since I first saw the trailer. Jason Statham and Jet Li! Fightin'! How in hell could they fuck that up?

Also: John Lone?...Really?!
...Waaaah!

Jason Statham is an incomprehensible badass, just as Lee Marvin was in "The Dirty Dozen". He's got the skills, he needs to break out of this shitty movie/badass niche and do something worthwhile, like van Damme in "Timecop"...(just kidding)...

Jason Statham is awesome in action roles, but I wish he'd do, you know, something else once in a while. He was so great in Snatch, it would be nice to see him show his sense of humor again.

Why is it that in every one of these movies every gangsta of Asian descent is always stealing something raw dumb, like golden horses or jade dragons or a Buddha statue? Isn't that akin to having a black man rob a liquor store or shooting up a KFC? Maybe next movie they'll be fighting Italians at Olive Garden.

Let's see:

Jason Statham CHECK

Jet Li CHECK

Needless brutality CHECK

I'm soooooo there.

Barbadoslim: Meet Mr. PaddyDog
Mr. PaddyDog: This is Barbadoslim

Now you have a friend to go to these types of fist-fests with, off you go. I'll be here when you get back curled up on the sofa with some depressing Hungarian film set in the 1840s and we'll all be happy.

DEAL! I'll bring back some Pabst Blue Ribbon for me and some wine for you (I'm guessing you'll want something old, like with a cork and shit, even though some fresh, recent, wine with a screw cap would be better), anyway, we'll tie one on!

always stealing something raw dumb, like golden horses or jade dragons or a Buddha statue? Isn't that akin to having a black man rob a liquor store or shooting up a KFC?

Except that those statues and Buddhas are not only parts of their history and culture, but are actually worth craploads of money to the right collector or museum. So it is closer to Mafia guys stealing da Vinci or Vatican artifacts, or Mexicans stealing Aztec statues.

Maybe they aren't so "raw dumb" (?) to steal after all. Unless you are honestly trying to say that liquor and chicken are part of black culture and history.

I hate to be so reductive, but really, when you have two screen presences that are almost completely worthless outside of a context of kicking the shit out of each other, just show that for two hours! We'll fill in the rest ourselves.

Thank you so damn much! Why would they bother trying to add story, when it is obvious from the get go that anyone who is going to see it wouldn't care?

As for the movie, They already had my money with the first trailer. I mean, I OWN The One, so the off chance of them finally being able to fight each other is too much for me to ignore. Even if it isn't for very long.

Hey, Barbado, can I get in on that too?

I was so god damn excited when I saw this trailer it was ridiculous.

Even if it sucks, just to see Jet Li and Jason Statham try to kick each others ass is enough for me. I'll sit through the crappy plot twists for that. And it certainly makes my guy friends' day when I tell them we're going to see a Jet Li movie. I'm the only chick they know who is excited to see a kung-fu movie.

I thought that was understood.

And like the last time, you're in charge of nacho and pork rind acquisition.

Don't forget the pigs' ears and feet guys. Quality munchies for a quality cinema experience.

I'm with commenter Mimi, I really wish Statham would take a break from action for a while. He was awesome in Snatch but ever since he does these hyper-nuts action films. I admit that I LOVED Crank (which was pretty much an R rated live action Loony-Toons) but Statham needs to stretch a bit. The previews for War left me pretty cold so this review isn't surprising.

brightphoenix, I'm so with you. I pretty much flipped out in the theater when I saw the trailer, and then got really odd looks from my guy friends. Yay for kung-fu, boo for chick flicks!

So, I'll be seeing this despite it's crappiness. I mean, I fucking love the ridiculousness of Face/Off, so I'll probably enjoy this too.

"Maybe they aren't so "raw dumb" (?) to steal after all. Unless you are honestly trying to say that liquor and chicken are part of black culture and history."

No, I was pointing out that it was a broad generalization of Asian culture, a stereotype that Asian people would only want to steal Asian artifacts. Why can't Asian be stealing Aztec statues or vatican artifacts? That's the point I was trying to make.

"Maybe they aren't so "raw dumb" (?) to steal after all. Unless you are honestly trying to say that liquor and chicken are part of black culture and history."

No, I was pointing out that it was a broad generalization of Asian culture, a stereotype that Asian people would only want to steal Asian artifacts. Why can't Asian be stealing Aztec statues or vatican artifacts? That's the point I was trying to make.

The title of this movie sucks.

I'm adding myself to the list of girls that love action movies. When I saw that it was the lovely and talented Jason Statham AND Jet Li, I plotzed. So did my best girlfriend. What is better than watching those two beat the hell out of each other!?

Saw this today, and while there is a lot of blood, there isn't much ass-kicking between the two leads, save for the final fight.

What I found funny (and sort of ironic) is that the movie really tried to be some sort of crime drama with a plot, yet apparently said, "Fuck it" at the very end and just rolled the credits. My friend and I looked at each other, wondering "What the hell?" before bursting out in laughter.

Statham actively annoys me. He's always one note (full-of-himself superhuman badass) and doesn't even look the part. It's like if Bruce Willis took himself seriously ALL THE TIME. I think people get swayed by a British accent way too easily.

That "In Japan you'd be fucking dead" line reminds me of the only thing me and my friends remember from... I think it was Lethal Weapon 4, and I think it was Mr. Jet Li who provided:

"If we were in Hong Kong, you'd be dead by now!!!"

The most important question is not answered by this review: Does Jason take his shirt off? Because, well, that's worth the price of admission for me.

Also, remember the Jet Li has said he's not doing any more wushuu films. He claims Fearless was the last. So, I'm not surprised there is more gun fighting than fist fighting.

Jet Li bores the hell out of me. Even when the action is furious and he's kicking ass so fast his fists blur, I find myself nodding off. Too bad they can't make him in pill form, because I frequently have a hard time sleeping.

I liked Jason Statham better when he made real movies. Perhaps not coincidentally, I also liked Guy Ritchie better when he made movies that both contained Jason Statham and didn't suck.

I thought Danny the Dog was a really good movie (despite Morgan Freeman's earnest blind caregiver, I mean I love the man, but damn. Play against type once in awhile, sheesh)but other than that admittedly flawed movie, I'm very lukewarm toward Li.

Statham will always be Turkish to me. In fact, when people speak of Jason Statham, I turn to my husband and say, "Who's that?" and he rolls his eyes and says, "Turkish. Goddamn. Commit that to memory, will you?"

Post script: I think Danny the Dog was called Unleashed when it was released in the States, which is a really lame title for any movie.

"It's like if Bruce Willis took himself seriously ALL THE TIME."

You mean there's a time when "Superfly" doesn't? How did I miss that? That ass has spent the last twenty years nurturing the delusion that he really is John McClane.

God. Give me Statham any day.

I seriously thought the title of this review was a Rush Hour joke.

Sigh...

I'm in the kung-fu-lovin'-girls category, as well as the will-watch-any-movie-with-shirtless-Jason-Statham group. He's a frakkin' machine and you can tell he totally doesn't take himself too seriously. I think the problem with this movie is not going to be with the actors at all; it's the fact that it appears to be American-made. I can't think of any American action movie that didn't go the ham-fisted route as opposed to the clever/interesting/subtle route. I mean, the sample dialogue in the review sounds like something that Ahnauld would say. In the 80s.

I, too, miss the Guy Ritchie movies that had Statham in them. Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels was a SCREAM.

God its so true, I went into this expecing "FUCK YEAH JASON STRATHOM AND JET LI FLIP KICKING ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE"

Sat through the long intro and only got more excited when the chick turned out to be the chick from Dead or Alives and I was thinking "THERE ARE GOING TO BE SO MANY FUCKING FLIP KICKS! \m/"

Nope, just shit.

I definately went into this movie expecting big things, the movie was sick and everything was good until the ending. Wow what a piece of shit that was (the ending). Jason Stathom and Jet Li are still the best of the best but wow. Amazing movie overall shitty ending.

Did I make enough emphasis on the shitty ending part.