You Don't Have to Understand Hockey to Understand the Unholy B*tch Face Someone Flashed at Elisha Cuthbert
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You Don't Have to Understand Hockey to Understand the Unholy B*tch Face Someone Flashed at Elisha Cuthbert

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | May 8, 2013 | Comments ()


Twitter pal extraordaire Chadd Maia alerted us to the Vine below, in which "Reimer's wife just gave Phaneuf's girlfriend" Elisha Cuthbert a cold-ass bitch face. Maia was kind enough to attempt to explain the reason for the bitch face ("Phaneuf went for a hit in the Bos end, guy still got pass off to teammate and Bos scored on Reimer on the rush"), but I don't speak Canadian. But apparently, that woman's husband is the goalie of the Leafs, and Cuthbert's fiancee tried to make a big hit in overtime instead of going for the safe play. The Bruins took advantage, and scored the sudden death OT winner, so it was all Cuthbert's boyfriends fault for TAKING SOME INITIATIVE.

All I know is that Cuthbert returned and eye roll that could've dismissed a platoon from space.

I think we all just need to SIMMER DOWN NOW. Let's remember the better times, like Cuthbert cuddling with puppies.


(Vine via Chad Maia)

IMPORTANT UPDATE VIA MATT UFFORD: Those two gals still love each other, but apparently, they hate an unruly fan.


Screen Shot 2013-05-08 at 11.52.51 PM.png

This is why I should never try to translate Canadian facial expressions.

(Source: SB Nation)

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    That looked like some sort of signalling to me. See how Elisha glances at April and then flips her eyes upward?

    April's face: Can you believe that?
    Elisha's face: I don't even fucking know, right?

    Any way, that's just my interp. Your mileage may vary.

  • FrayedMachine

    After rewatching it a few times, I saw the subtle gesture to a third party in there. Totally forgot how bitch face swapping between friends can be misconstrued as cattiness between the perceived only parties involved. Now I wonder how many times people have thought my friends and I have had some weird secret feud going on between the both of us.

  • John W

    How awesome would it have been if an anchorman style rumble would have broken out in the stands?

    Suddenly the entire casts of Happy Ending shows up, then the entire cast of Community followed by the casts of Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, New Girl, Modern Family, Cougar Town, Breaking Bad, Shameless, Veep, Girls, and Archer (yes I said Archer). Pandemonium breaks out.

    Just when you think it couldn't get more crazy, the Khaleesi shows up with her Dragons and the Unsullied in tow and then it gets interesting....

  • the other courtney

    My husband is always amazed at women's mastery of non-verbal communication.

    "Seriously. Y'all can recruit a gaggle of bitches, plan a hostile attack and emotionally execute a targeted victim with ONE glance and a drawn-out 'Reeeally...' - the battle cry murmured by your de facto leader, whoever that is at that particular moment. It's scary. That's some Cercei Lannister shit right there."

    Note: he says "bitches" with love. I know this because I'm the biggest one he knows.

  • annie

    What was funny about this post was that I watched that video and thought: "um, no, that's a SHARED bitchface meant to express pissiness about something else. That look clearly says "Can you believe this shit?" and was responded to with "What a shithead." And at the end, the brunette's pursed lips are saying "I'm going to do something about it." LOVED IT.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    You just don't get Canadians. You should try to get Canadians though. They make wonderful house pets.

  • Maguita NYC

    Super extra bonus: They're all already house broken. Unlike some piss-ass drunken slobs I know.

  • Jeff in Middletucky

    Hahahahaha sports!

  • bleujayone

    Mostly Unrelated Sidebar: After watching this clip, I must say I have a pet peeve. When going to a sporting event and wearing team apparel, it is generally expected to wear clothing (or colors) of one of the two teams involved in the current game in the arena. There is an unwritten rules that says that other teams being worn, especially during the playoffs, is kind of a fashion faux pas. And it's even more annoying to see stuff from teams of completely different sports there as well (the exception being other sports teams from the two cities involved in the current match being attended).

    In other words, nobody should be wearing a Minnesota North Stars hat- not only are they not playing in that night's game, they don't even play in Minnesota anymore. This is especially aggravating when you consider this is going down in Toronto, a rabid hockey town if ever there was one who finally gets to see their team in the playoffs after an almost 10 year drought. Even more aggravating is the cement-head next to him wearing a New York Yankees hat. Since neither New York is being represented in this game nor is it freaking baseball. I mean seriously, if you're going to pay out the ass for hockey playoff tickets in Toronto, surely you have a few extra sixpence laying around that you might be able to invest in proper fan apparel. And while not wearing the proper laundry isn't breaking any laws, it does make you look like you really don't care about the game at hand. And that, especially during the playoffs, looks especially douchey.

  • oilybohunk7

    The thing that really grinds my ass is when women wear pink jerseys or get regular jerseys and tie them up in the back lest anyone not get a good look at their body. Also, bedazzling. I'm a Red Wings fan and our anthem singer, Karen Newman, who is THE WORST is this 50ish tanned, bleached, botoxed cougar that never leaves the home without something bedazzled on. Anytime my hockey parter-in-crime and I see anything bedazzled we say that it is from the Karen Newman Collection.
    I'm a woman who legitimately loves hockey, you don't have to make things sparkly, pink or tight before I will wear it. I will wear my tent-like Zetterberg jersey with pride.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    This, my friend. Always this.

    I am a Browns fan (orange) and I live in Syracuse (orange). This is an awful color for me but I am not going to wear a pink (although I would prefer purple!) jersey just because it's "girly."

    If I have to wear orange (Why? Why is this my life?) then everyone else can just nut up and wear the correct goddamn team colors.

  • DeltaJuliet

    My husband would say the exact same thing. Except instead of your delightfully eloquent explanation, he would have said "You just don't".

  • Some Guy

    I generally assume that you can wear the colors of ex-teams that technically no longer exist, solely as a sign of solidarity. Especially in hat form. Yes, The Northstars moved to Dallas, but they changed the name and moved about as far south as one can get without immigrating. He clearly has no dog in this fight.

    It would be the same if he was wearing a Quebec Nordiques hat.

    ...A viva jay sherman, a viva quebec...

  • JLM

    Hartford Whalers, anyone? I'm dating myself.

  • Scully

    I love my Blackhawks dearly but I'll never wear their colors. Red with my skin tone? Good lord! No one wants to see that.

  • A. Smith

    Wear their third

  • atoz15

    it definitely seems more like a mutual acknowledgement of a dick fan... the brunette is definitely looking past elisha and elisha's eye roll is more of "ugh, i know" than a "biiiitch, please"

    puppiesss puuupppiiiessss

  • I love me a good eye roll! I worked retail for a long time and at the end I was so burnt out on asshole customers that I really had to watch myself because I was throwing some nasty ones left and right.

  • oilybohunk7

    Sometimes I'm concerned that I will fall right out of my head with the force of my eye rolls.

  • Melissa D

    HAAAAA, me too! When I laughed in a woman's face because the price didn't ring up correctly and she told me I was legally obligated to give it to her for free, I knew it was time to quit. ;)

  • ,

    What jerk, the Leafs guy to her right, our left?

    Damn, and I was all set to "catfight ROWR" this post.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I think it was the guy standing up almost out of frame on Elisha's left, our right.

  • e jerry powell

    I'm here for the puppies. Much warmer than a hockey rink.

  • nachosanchez

    Just sick Brad on him. Brad's a black guy, so he's probably already afraid of him. Then again, Max is gay and chubby, so he'd never see it coming.

  • zygomatique

    Their expressions are mesmerizing.

  • lonolove

    I can't stop watching it....over and over and over and over!

  • HerGuyWednesday

    I was mad at Phaneuf as soon as he attempted the hit. We all just knew a goal was coming immediately.

  • Forbiddendonut

    If this is what it takes to get some NHL playoffs coverage on Pajiba.... I'll take it!

  • Even Stevens

    That was some spectacular bitchfacing

  • lowercase_ryan

    Great, you took notes didn't you? Just what we needed.

  • Yes it was! Those two could teach a master class. Especially Elisha because it was so effective and dismissive for being such a small & short gesture.

  • I don't care about any of these people, but I love this quite a bit.

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