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Video: I Will Hit You Until You Bleed. And Then I'll J**k Off to the Memory

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | March 3, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | March 3, 2011 |


For a few years between 2006 and 2008, Hollywood was really trying to make Dan Fogler happen, but they couldn’t quite make his special brand of suck appeal to the masses. I was a little disappointed that the human cum-stain, the 275-pound blob of anthropomorphic ejaculate, couldn’t make it big because the man inspired a great deal of loathing. He is a sick joke, but he helped me deal with some anger issues.

Along with Topher Grace and Anna Faris, Fogler will be starring in Take Me Home Tonight this weekend, a movie that sat on the shelf for a while. From the looks of it, it’s been sitting on the shelf since 1989. It’s like a 2007 time-capsule that captured Fogler and Grace during a period in which they still thought they had a career ahead of them. Normally, the stars of films that have been shelved for a few years do the minimum amount of publicity possible, hoping that the film will just go away and they can move on with their careers. But for Fogler and Grace, it’s kind of a last shot thing.

So, of course, they went to Funny or Die! to create some buzz around the film by ignoring the film as much as possible, I suspect. In this video, we learn that Fogler and Grace don’t like to be disturbed.

It’s actually funny. Not because of Dan Fogler, of course. He’s a human-shaped fart that’s been lingering around for three years, refusing to get caught up in the breeze.