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chuckesmee-1.jpg

'Twilight' DVD Extras Actually Have Purpose: The Creepiest Doll Ever

By Alexander Joenks | Videos | November 5, 2013 |

By Alexander Joenks | Videos | November 5, 2013 |


I would never under normal circumstances advocate the watching of any of the Twilight films, let alone delving into the DVD extras of the franchise. But look at that header picture. Look at it. Watch it gaze deeply through your soul from the abyss. These are not normal circumstances.

Apparently for the wee little newborn Renesmee, a custom animatronic doll was built. It is an absolute mystery why the designers of the doll thought that it should look like some sort of troll serial killer, other than absolute contempt for the project they were working on. I mean, you should have pride in your work whatever you do, but I suppose if you’re going to toss that principle, you might as well shoot it into the sun at the tip of a nuclear rocket, right?

Bill Condon, director of Twilight 4 Part 2: At Least The Fucking Thing is Over dubbed the creation “Chuckesmee” and had this to say:

“Chuckesmee was a giant misfire on all fronts. Truly, it was one of the most grotesque things I’ve ever seen. It was a horror show! There was one shot where I call, ‘Cut!’ and suddenly she turns her head and mechanically stares right into the camera. It was incredibly disturbing.”

And here, just for you, is her in all her video glory:

Oh god, the fingers, the tiny little fingers, clutching, grasping. This isn’t uncanny valley territory. This abomination isn’t creepy because she’s almost human, she’s creepy because she’s torn from the cold bosom of the darkness beyond the universe.