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'Star Wars VII' Revealed to Be J.J. Abrams' Shallow, Cynical Attempt to Exploit Our Nostalgia to Help Needy Children

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | July 21, 2014 | Comments ()


Screen Shot 2014-07-21 at 10.56.46 AM.png

J.J. Abrams shot another video from the set of Star Wars VII — in front of an X-Wing (or Z-95 Headhunter, depending on who you ask) — in order to remind us about some opportunity to be an extra in the movie and/or see the movie before its in theaters, if only we donate to UNICEF, which fights internationally for children’s rights, survival, development and protection.

GAWD, Abrams. We see what’s going on here. You don’t even care about Star Wars. All you care about is helping deserving children in third-world countries, and you’re willing to exploit our love of Star Wars in order to benefit the poor and underprivileged. What a wanker, right?

You don’t see Michael Bay trying to bilk us for money, do you? NO! Because Bay has no ulterior motives. He probably doesn’t even know what ulterior motive means. He exploits our nostalgia for pure, unvarnished commercial reasons. You gotta respect that!




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • psykins

    I so want to enter this contest but people living in Thailand are forbidden in the fine print. :,(

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  • googergieger

    Yeah but still, fuck Abrams?

  • Some Guy

    Who did you ask that referred to it as an X-wing? Because their Geek Cred has been officially denied.

  • guyminuslife

    Apparently, LucasFilm.

    http://comicbook.com/blog/2014...

  • Some Guy

    They can attempt to rewrite the visual history of Star Wars all they want by claiming that it's an "episode VII X-wing," which I get, but the X-wings as they appeared in all three original films have four separate circular engines for each wing that came together. Not two that split in half as depicted.

    Even their use of the original concept art doesn't fly with the fact that it wasn't the final design used in the film and over the last three decades.

    Is this argument superfluous and a waste of time? Yes it is. But so is my love of Star Wars.

    They've created a new X-wing variation. That just happens to look exactly like another, already exiting ship. Bully for them.

  • guyminuslife

    Man, I love the Google. This morning, I had no idea what a Z-95 Headhunter was. But with one simple search, I am now able to lord it over the self-appointed arbiters of geek cred like "ERMAGAHD how could you not recognize an X-Wing, noob?!?!"

  • Wrestling Fan

    Yeah, that's a Headhunter.

  • idiosynchronic

    They built a 6 figure full-scale mockup of a 70 year-old (do that math, clone wars-ANH-JJAbrams) flying "junk heap" for the movie?

  • jthomas666

    Dustin--X-wings have 4 engines--that looks to have only two.

  • pajiba

    AGREE TO DISAGREE?

  • Fabius_Maximus

    No.

    Of course, if you want to leave X-Wing in there for SEO purposes, I understand.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    In that case, it's a Z-95 Headhunter.

  • jthomas666

    And your point is? ;)

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