See, This Is Exactly What Those Crazy Back-to-the-Landers Were Afraid Would Happen
Why would someone choose to live like that? Because they must have known that someday in the not-too-distant future, a slightly chubby little girl who drank a concoction of Red Bull and Mountain Dew Code Red to keep her humming and who would be famous as a pageant toddler would one day sit down shoot snot rockets out of her nose for the entertainment of millions of people.
I've looked into the abyss, and all I saw were Honey Boo Boo's snot rockets.
God help us.