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Rock Out With Your Cock Out

By | Posted Under Videos | Comments (33)

Thumbnail image for lute_player.jpg

We here at Pajiba believe in “getting down” with the kids. Toward that end, we like to stay abreast of the latest developments in music.

So, two videos for you tonight. The first is an eternal ballad exploring the complexities of modern relationships in a world in which love is often little more than a commodity.

That brought a tear to my eye. I hear shades of Nina Simone’s ferocity and Teena Marie’s smoldering sexual heat in Erika Kayne’s timeless plea.

Next, Riskay gives a much needed warning to unfaithful men and would-be cheaters out there. Attempting to “get over” on one’s significant other rarely works and almost always ends badly.

Dr. Pisaster can probably give a better informed perspective as to the social and psychological implications of the preceding videos, but I think it bears mentioning that a condom would solve both problems presented here. I suspect these videos speak to the failure of sex education in American schools. On several levels.

Jason Harris lives in Philadelphia and weeps for the future.









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Comments

can i jam out with my clam out instead?

(Feel free to adjust in relation to your own needs and physiology -- JH.)

Posted by: stopthemadness at December 8, 2010 9:02 PM

This may be the classiest post Pajiba has ever posted. Well done, Mr. Harris. Well done.

Posted by: admin at December 8, 2010 9:11 PM

One could also argue that appropriate use of either pulling put or condom could have spared the world the effrontery of the very existence of these asshats in the first place.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 8, 2010 9:20 PM

Condoms: Saving the world from bad music, asshats, smelly dicks, and unwanted pregnancies one ejaculation at a time!

Posted by: esme at December 8, 2010 9:26 PM

Sigh...

Posted by: trib at December 8, 2010 9:27 PM

Pure poetry and good clean fun. I'll bet cash money John Denver is in heaven WEEPING that he's not around to collaborate on a song with Ray Jr. and Ms. Erika Kayne.

Posted by: Lainey at December 8, 2010 9:27 PM

I should clarify...

Bemused sigh.

What ever happened to artists like Gary Puckett and the Union Gap? At least their desire for underage relations was couched in harmonies and instrumentality.

Posted by: trib at December 8, 2010 9:29 PM

Keep it Klassy, TB!
You da man, dawg, yo-diggity and... errmm... yeah.

Posted by: Spender at December 8, 2010 9:30 PM

Could Riskay look any more bored in that image? It's like you see the booty and go "Daaamn!" and then see the face and go "Daaamn!" for the complete opposite reason.

Posted by: Matt at December 8, 2010 9:32 PM

I tried getting through the first video a few days ago and just couldn't. But that second song is actually really well-produced and sonically interesting. I don't, however, want to process why she can "smell your dick" or why she would want to.

Shoot. I listened to the end of the song and understood everything. Must...cleanse...brain...

Posted by: Robert at December 8, 2010 9:41 PM

I don't know what offends me more...the subject matter or the "music". OK it's the so called music.

Posted by: Cliff Torres at December 8, 2010 10:01 PM

That background vocal in the first :30 sounds like Obie Trice having his first prostate-manipulated orgasm.

Posted by: Ian at December 8, 2010 10:17 PM

How long before a 'Smell yo Dick' montage is included in a romcom?

Like...Gerry Butler's walkin around with his American accent in the rain cause Reese Wetherspoon knows he's been creepin'. How has this not happened yet?

Posted by: BillowingBackpacks at December 8, 2010 10:29 PM

I'm concerned about the taste levels...
[/Michael Kors]

Posted by: Jerry at December 8, 2010 10:29 PM

Must...cleanse...brain...

Dammit, Robert. I've been trusting your opinion too much lately.
I wasn't going to listen, but your "sonically interesting" descriptor piqued my interest, and now I have that flippin' song stuck in my head.
Pass me the bleach when you're done with it, please?

Posted by: Rykker at December 8, 2010 10:32 PM

I occasionally want to be on the dance floor grinding with a stripperwhore named Diamond, too.

Don't hate, Riskay.

Posted by: Johnny Von Awesome at December 8, 2010 10:43 PM

Rykker, some thrive on hate. I thrive on camp. Listen to my opinions at your own risk.

Oh, and what song? I have major repressing skills. The key is to deny you ever experienced the video and replace the memory with something else. For example, this page contains a video I couldn't get through and RuPaul's "Tranny Chaser." No amount of facts presented to me will convince me otherwise until years from now when I randomly start screaming over smelling something. Was it pancakes? I think it was pancakes.

Posted by: Robert at December 8, 2010 11:04 PM

Mmmm, pancakes... *Homeresque drool*

What were we talking about?

Posted by: Rykker at December 8, 2010 11:07 PM

[takes out cock]
[presses play on Ray Jnr]
[30 seconds later]
[puts cock away]

Posted by: Punxsutawny Phil at December 8, 2010 11:09 PM

Sweartogod, the first full minute into each song, I was actually convinced these were very well crafted parodies...especially with the first one because I have no idea what any of the performers actually look like...

Sigh.

Posted by: Vonnegut Slut at December 9, 2010 12:11 AM

That first one might just be my new favorite song.
Haunting.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 9, 2010 1:14 AM

So, odds on how long it take for either song to become a Major Hollywood Movie?

Think of it: Twentieth Century Vole and Whadafuk Films present 'Don't Cum in Me,' starring Ray Jay, Martha Rae, Michael Bay, Rachel Ray, and Speedy the Oversexed Three-toed Sloth!

Posted by: The Wanderer at December 9, 2010 4:16 AM

Curiosity occasionally gets the better of me and I wade into the Youtube comments section.

kelairdogg
1 day ago 10

kinda catchy, imma fux to this one!

...no doubt conceiving the next secretary general of the United Nations.

or

baddd2dhabone
18 hours ago

What Dha Fuck' 591 Dislike's Is Yuh Fuckinq Retarted! Smh.. Yuck Mouth's!! Erika Kayne Yuh Did Yur Thinq.. Proud Of You' Climbinq The Ladder To Success !!

Google Translate identified it as english but shed no further light as to it's meaning

or

MrMw52
2 hours ago

WE HAVE GOTS TO BETTER THAN THIS SHIT!!! THIS GOES TO SHOW EVERY HOOD EROTIC STORY OR SHIT THAT COMES TO MIND SHOULD NOT BE PUT TO MUSIC LET ALONG SAID ALOUD!!!

A fair point and succinctly made

Posted by: Punxsutawny Phil at December 9, 2010 4:22 AM

See, I can't unhear that now ...

Somewhere Elvis is crying.

Posted by: Stunned B'y at December 9, 2010 6:15 AM

Am I the only one that thinks the header pic looks like Dominic West?

Posted by: chad at December 9, 2010 8:32 AM

I'd click on the videos but I have a feeling that I'd have to call in suicidal to work.

Posted by: Paultera at December 9, 2010 9:13 AM

I like this so much better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbW9JqM7vho

BTW: So NSFW but awesome none the less.

Posted by: Mrs Smith at December 9, 2010 9:33 AM

WOW.

I thought my brain had melted after the first one, but then I listened to the second. Strangely, even by the time I got to the end of that one, it still found NEW ways to offend me. After the plaintive, moving, and oft-repeated request to smell his dick, the guy replies, "Smell my dick? wait a minute hold up - see that's how a bitch get her eyes swoll up!"

CLASSY!

Though, I admit, I have long wondered how a bitch get her eyes swoll up. Now at last I know.

Posted by: Edith at December 9, 2010 9:37 AM

Make fun all you want, but these lyrics are life lessons. Let's review:

"She Said (Don't Cum In Me)": Fellas, if you find yourself balls-deep without a condom, do the gentlemanly thing by pulling out and aiming away from her eyes. Also beware of any pets lurking nearby because she sure as hell won't clean that shit up.

"Smell Yo Dick": This one attempts to aid both men AND women. Boys, if you must creep out for some strange, be sure to wash yo dick before returning home to the missus. But remember to use unscented soap or she'll know you scrubbed that whore off your junk in an attempt to trick her, you lying motherfucker. Ladies, if you suspect your man is cheating, put your foot down and demand the opportunity to smell his dick. He'll respect your curiosity, and in the process of burying your nose in his balls, you'll retain your dignity within the relationship and as a woman.

Relationships are serious business, folks, and I commend these artists for selflessly lending some much needed advice to all the lovers in this crazy, messed up world.

Posted by: Kballs at December 9, 2010 9:47 AM

Sooooooo just to recap: there are women who actually insist on getting their partners to drop their pants and then they smell their penises for evidence of Other Lady Juices and Mess?

Do I have that right?

And if the woman smells Other Lady Juices and Mess? Is the standard protocol to flip out? Or, no wait, acording to the song, that's when her partner punches her in both eyes, right? Before or after she flips out? In between?

What if it smells distinctly of latex? I mean, that's a problem, too, right? A man's penis doesn't just naturally smell of latex. I feel pretty safe in saying that.

And does this work the other way around? Has there ever been a gentleman who says to his lady friend "please remove yon underpants so that I can sniff for evidence of seminally exjuicetions other than mine own?"

Then what? Does she get to punch him, then?

What a strange and wonderful world.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at December 9, 2010 2:45 PM

Ha! That's good hustle, Snuggiepants.

/football metaphor

Posted by: Rykker at December 9, 2010 3:47 PM

"seminally exjuicetions"

well there's an emetic for you.

I had an ex who used the much daintier term, "whejesus", as in she would email me from work and say "no more morning sex, i have whejesus seeping out of me"

That was one classy lady.

Posted by: idleprimate at December 9, 2010 3:51 PM

Is it just me or does the header picture look like a Renaissance painting of one of Dominic West's (aka the main guy in the Wire) ancestors? Only he is about to choke the life out of you with his mandolin strings if you don't absolutely love his newest ditty.

Just sayin, we have crab people.

Posted by: TVConnoisseur at December 9, 2010 4:49 PM