MAD MEN / GAME OF THRONES / MINDHOLE BLOWERS / NETFLIX



Olivia Munn Explains How She Faked an Orgasm When She Lost Her Virginity

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | September 10, 2013 | Comments ()


john-stamos-olivia-munn-losing-it-with-john-stamos-yahoo.jpg

John Stamos has a new web series out, Losing it with John Stamos, in which he sits down with famous folks and elicits their virginity stories. They released all the first season episodes at once, which is nice, if you’re in the mood to hear about Olivia Munn or Casey Wilson or Adam Pally or Bob Saget talk about getting rid of that pesky virginity, which surely had been burning a hole in their pockets.

I’d share my own, except that 1) you couldn’t possibly care, and 2) I’m still friends with her, and knowing that she might read about it would bring back all of my skin-crawling humiliation. Given what I have already shared about my humilating teenage sexual experiences, that should say a lot about what I’m not willing to share.

But, you know, feel free to share your first-time stories anonymously in the comments.

In the meantime, you can watch Munn talk about faking an orgasm for her boyfriend at the time, or Casey Wilson being suckered into sex by a bad poem, or Adam Pally losing it to his wife. It involves an episode of “Roseanne,” mouth sweats, and puking on her two hours after the experience. That’s love.



Around the Web


Like Our Facebook Page And an Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

Race-and-Gender Bending Pop Culture Icons: Nightmare Fuel for Hate-filled Nerds | This Super Gay Poster Of Thor And Loki Will Make You Wish Natalie Portman Didn't Exist







Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • meadowdancer

    About to turn 22 and had sex with my then boyfriend. It took five minutes, it hurt, I pretended he was doing great, he climbed off, I took a shower.

  • Emm82

    I am so boring - I was 17, with a bf of 5 months & I had a lovely time! he even made me pasta afterwards & we watched cheesy horror movies :)

  • Guestimous_Pajiban

    Cree83 notes that someone needs experience - well I gotta a good one for you there. Sit down boys and girls and I'll spin you a tale of woe and horror.

    I was 14, and was the young girl who was babysitting for a church function, but no kids had shown up. So in the basement of the Christian Education building, we decided to move beyond the endless dry-rubbing we had been doing for weeks, and get on to the main event.

    Having no sisters or exhibitionist family members, up to this point I have only seen a woman's body parts in faded magazines left in dumpsters, and furtive glances at the Playboy rack in the local corner store.

    We turn the T.V. up loud, get undressed and attempt go at it. I have no concept of oral sex or foreplay beyond endless making out, and so, like a monty python skit, I jump right to the clitoris and attempt to penetrate.

    She's so nervous that it simply will not go in. nothing is working. I'm pretty sure in my attempts I accidentally hit the wrong hole, but she isn't any more expert and we may both vaguely think that it's supposed to be like that.

    This goes on for some time, grubbing around on the floor of a Church basement rec room carpet, trying to actually have sex. Finally, we get the tip in, I proceed to make ineffective attempts to make it "feel good" but it's clearly awful for both of us.

    Now here's the punchline.

    We both want to quit, but are unwilling to say so for fear of hurting the other, when we hear the T.V. On the screen is a program about teenage sex and pregnancy - one of those shows about kids who are just "so happy!" that they haven't given in to peer pressure to have sex.

    We part from each other, pull our pants up from around our knees, and watch every second of this awful treacly program, frozen in place by the combination of humiliation and horror of our awkward attempts.

    It was some time before either of us attempted sex again - and never with each other.

  • minxy

    To my husband when I was eighteen in my dorm room. It was lovely and romantic and afterward he introduced me to some of his old friends, then we got ice cream. Best date ever.

  • Krissy

    I ended up watching Alan Cumming's Episode. I could listen to him talk all day.

  • Cree83

    I was 21 (and a half), and I had been wanting to lose it for years but couldn't find anyone I felt comfortable enough to be naked in front of. Finally, I asked my ex-boyfriend, who had been too Catholic to do it while we were actually dating a few years prior, but I guess a couple years in college and away from home cured him of that. We took each others' virginities, which I don't recommend. Somebody should really know what they're doing.

  • On my wedding night at the ripe old age of 21. May 28, 1994, Anatole Hotel, Dallas, Texas. All I can say about the experience is....I got better.

  • Sean

    On a table in a laundry room at a party while seriously drunk/high. I was 14. Her friends all watched. I didn't really even remember it til her friends all talked about it at school the following week.

  • the_wakeful

    Well somebody had more fun in highschool than the rest of us.

  • the_wakeful

    To a Suicide Girl when I was 19. Pretty much the high point of my exploits.

  • Sean

    Congrats. Something to tell the grand kids about someday!

  • AgLexington

    Nice!

  • Guest who

    I was nineteen, had almost no sexual experience whatsoever. It was with my first boyfriend (who turned out to be a drug addicted asshole--shocker!). It could not have been fun for anybody--especially his parents, who were out in the living room. I didn't know enough to fake it, so there wasn't even any ego-gratification in it for him. Fun all the way around.

  • Tinkerville

    It was during college and I had the lovely experience of hooking up with a guy who didn't exactly have his own room in his apartment (he slept on the couch), so we were in the living room and his roommate made a hamburger in the adjacent kitchen during the middle of it. Passive aggressive type. It was all very romantic.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    In retellings, he should've made a hot dog. It's funnier if he makes a hot dog.

  • AgLexington

    Did he at least offer you one?

  • Tinkerville

    Nope. Bastard.

  • Tinkerville

    Wait, didn't everyone...?

  • PerpetualIntern

    This was my first reaction too.

blog comments powered by Disqus





Follow Us



Related Posts




Viral Hits
Celebrity Facts

The Best TV & Movie Quotes

The Walking Dead

How I Met Your Mother

True Detective

Parks and Recreation

Cosmos

Hannibal

30 Practical Tips About the Horrors of Raising Children

25 Practical Tips About the Horrors of Raising Twins



Thumbnail image for station-agents-logo.jpg