Obama Addresses Trump Announcement and Stephen Colbert Offers Donald Trump $1 Million To Let Him Dip His Balls in Trump's Mouth
Both "The Colbert Report" and "The Daily Show" took shot at Donald Trump's MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT yesterday, in which he offered President Obama $5 million to charity if Obama would present his college applications and passport records. Colbert made a spectacular counteroffer, offering Trump $1 million if he'd dipped Colbert's balls in his mouth. "This dipping has to be to my, and more importantly, to my balls satisfaction."
He continued: "Nothing would make America happier to have something going into your mouth instead of coming out of it."
Jon Stewart took another approach, comparing Donald Trump to a gorilla eating its own sh*t (and Sarah Palin -- who said that President Obama was "shucking and jiving" on his position in Benghazi -- to a hippo spraying its own feces).
Meanwhile, on Leno last night, Obama addressed Trump's announcement. Obama said that it dates back to their days growing up in Kenya. "We had constant run-ins on the soccer field," Obama said. "He wasn't very good and resented it. When we finally moved to America, I thought it would be over."
If you're curios, President Obama also addressed Richard Mourdock's heinous comments about rape. "You know, I don't know how these guys come up with these ideas. Let me make a very simple proposition. Rape is rape. It is a crime, and so these various distinctions about rape don't make too much sense to me, don't make any sense to me. The second thing that underscores it though is this is exactly why you don't want a bunch of politicians, mostly males, making decisions about women's health care decisions."
Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)
Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)
Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his
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