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Obama Addresses Trump Announcement and Stephen Colbert Offers Donald Trump $1 Million To Let Him Dip His Balls in Trump's Mouth

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | October 25, 2012 | Comments ()


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Both "The Colbert Report" and "The Daily Show" took shot at Donald Trump's MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT yesterday, in which he offered President Obama $5 million to charity if Obama would present his college applications and passport records. Colbert made a spectacular counteroffer, offering Trump $1 million if he'd dipped Colbert's balls in his mouth. "This dipping has to be to my, and more importantly, to my balls satisfaction."

He continued: "Nothing would make America happier to have something going into your mouth instead of coming out of it."


Jon Stewart took another approach, comparing Donald Trump to a gorilla eating its own sh*t (and Sarah Palin -- who said that President Obama was "shucking and jiving" on his position in Benghazi -- to a hippo spraying its own feces).

Meanwhile, on Leno last night, Obama addressed Trump's announcement. Obama said that it dates back to their days growing up in Kenya. "We had constant run-ins on the soccer field," Obama said. "He wasn't very good and resented it. When we finally moved to America, I thought it would be over."

If you're curios, President Obama also addressed Richard Mourdock's heinous comments about rape. "You know, I don't know how these guys come up with these ideas. Let me make a very simple proposition. Rape is rape. It is a crime, and so these various distinctions about rape don't make too much sense to me, don't make any sense to me. The second thing that underscores it though is this is exactly why you don't want a bunch of politicians, mostly males, making decisions about women's health care decisions."




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Zuffle

    As a Brit watching from a lonely planet, this certainly feels like Trump tipping the election in favour of Obama. I hope that's the case. Good work, Donald Shitpiece; now you can die in massive pain.

  • googergieger

    Colin Powell has come out in support of Prsident Obama. Oh yeah? President Bush has come out in support of Mi-*chloroformed by Republicans*

  • Can we just give the Stewart-Colbert juggernaut a Pulitzer Prize now. Along with the Onion, some sharp writing and no fear.

  • Green Lantern

    This is for you, Trump. Right here, yo...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • BierceAmbrose

    Wow. Trump's "big reveal" was even lamer than I thought it would be. At least we now know - he hopes to become Larry Flint. (I suppose with "King of All Media" taken, that's what's left.)

    You know, they say Trump is "in contact" with the Romney campaign. I kinda doubt it. If the campaign knew where Trump was hiding, wouldn't they be sending a few thousand neatly dressed "young adults" to "witness" at him until after the election?

  • lowercase_ryan

    I actually want to hug Jay Leno right now. Does anyone else think he's the default late-night host for undecided voters?

  • meadowdancer

    Dear Donald Trump:

    Stop. Just stop.

    Here are things you can do that will be better than harassing President Obama:

    1) Figure out if there is some way you can make your hair even more heinous and resemble a dead weasel laying on top of your head.

    2) Determine if there are any other young woman you can trick into marrying your old and wrinkled butt who can take even more of your diminishing wealth.

    3) Figure out if there are any more Z list celebrities you can get on your totally irrelevant reality show.

    4) Start planning your Presidential run in 2016 where you can blame everything on those "blacks" you don't really care for at all (unless they are shining your shoes and telling you how smart you are).

    5) Speak to an English teacher (it doesn't matter what grade level, it probably should be a man since we know you don't really think that women are smart) so they can explain to you that when you say you have an announcement that can change the course of an election it IS an announcement that can change the election instead of just being a never ending joke that you don't seem to be in on...at all.

    Sincerely,

    The entire freaking world.

  • dizzylucy

    I love you, Stephen Colbert.
    That whole last paragraph - YES and thank you.

  • chanohack

    Women's issues are family issues because in many families, women bring in half the income! Very yes. Whether or not a woman can get birth control, heath care, or in same cases, an abortion affects families, communities, and businesses. I know this is a side issue, but this is one of the reasons I love Obama. He GETS it.

  • An added challenge for the Donald is that Colbert has giant balls of steel, as evidenced ever since his 2006 performance in from of the Shrub at White House Correspondents Dinner. Good thing the Donald's mouth is so big.

  • lowercase_ryan

    It has to be that big in order for so much shit to come out of it.

  • Maguita NYC

    It explains the constant Zoolander-like pout. That man knows he is spewing shit, and is clearly aware of its smell on his breath!

  • milkman of doom

    I think the headline needs an edit. The balls are Colbert's, the mouth is Trump's.

  • pajiba

    Woops. So many balls. So many mouths. Corrected, and thanks!

  • Fabius_Maximus

    You should also correct it in the page title.

  • Well that's the first time Dustin's needed a correction when it came to balls

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Why is there even a microphone anywhere near Sarah Palin anymore?

  • lowercase_ryan

    Palin doesn't get microphones anymore, she posted that crap to her facebook and then tweeted it. I'm assuming Trump donated $5 million more to FoxNews to rent their microphone.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    or Donald Trump for that matter...

  • TK

    I'm fairly certain that Trump ball-dipping would result in gonorrhea.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    I'm pretty sure that even STI's don't want to be associated with Trump these days.

    Reporter - "So, Mr. Syphilis, I hear you and Donald Trump had quite an intimate relationship."

    Mr. Syphilis - "Nope! Hell no! If you actually print that I'll will sue you for libel and make sure you never work in the industry again. Now, if you were to say that about Paul Ryan..."

  • Funny Colbert should say that, as Donald Trump's entire head looks like one giant bloated orange testicle. If I looked down and saw that in between my legs I'd go to the doctor.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Unfortunately no doctor would touch that Oompa Loompa of a scrotal infection so you're pretty well fucked.

  • Did I say doctor? I meant suicide booth.

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