Jon Stewart Whips Out the Righteousness in Another Segment of 'Shut The F**k Up, Fox News.'
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Jon Stewart Whips Out the Righteousness in Another Segment of 'Shut The F**k Up, Fox News.'

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | March 5, 2014 | Comments ()


My mother in law is a lovely woman, who is energetic, enthusiastic, and amazing with our children. Somewhere late in her life, however, she also took a sharp right turn into Fox News Crazy Town. I almost don’t begrudge her this: She spent 20 years as a back-to-lander raising her daughters in a house she and her ex-husband built with an outhouse, no electricity, no television, and eating only food they provided for themselves. After coming out of that, maybe running off to Florida and living in an insanely conservative retirement village on a golf course in Sarah Palin country is not that unexpected an outcome.

So, we don’t talk politics, because when politics comes up, she has a tendency to echo the things she hears on Fox News, and one of the things she apparently hears the most is there’s a widespread problem with poor people using their EBT cards (or food stamps) to go on insane, drug-fueled spending sprees is casinos and amusement parks, buying crack and liquor and feeding their children cigarettes purchased with their food stamps.

I’m not saying that welfare fraud doesn’t exist (it does), but the notion that most people are using their EBT cards at the local crack den is ridiculous. But you know what’s even worse, according to Fox News? USING THOSE EBT CARDS ON FRESH FISH AT THE ORGANIC MARKETS.

This is an insane abuse of the system. FRESH, HEALTHY SEAFOOD? The gall!

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • e jerry powell

    Dustin's mother-in-law apparently hangs out with Kathy Griffin's mother.

  • chanohack

    Dustin, I have the same "no politics" rule with my grandparents (and usually my dad, and, with increasing frequency, my brother), so I feel you. When I try to argue with them they tell me I'm brainwashed and laugh. It's depressing as fuck.

  • Cheetahdriver

    I am, unfortunately in the same situation with my father. We have a great relationship otherwise, and I blame it on the Fox watching argumentative bitch he married the second time around. Although, she is so much like his first wife, it makes me wonder why he bothered to get a divorce...

    I have told him that his taste in women sucks...on toast.

  • DeaconG

    They're sequential thinkers, you're a systemic one.

    They simply can't see what you see, nor can they comprehend. I used to try to enlighten these kind of folks a long time ago, I gave up when I realized that they simply couldn't comprehend what I was trying to tell them, even when I was trying to break it down to them in concepts and terms they could understand.

    Just keep learning, growing and changing. They'll come along or they won't.

  • theHarleyQuinn

    I bet if this planet ever started having an oxygen shortage, that there’d be lots of rich people, complaining about “poor people stealing THEIR personal oxygen”. And basically perpetuating this attitude that poor people don’t really need oxygen, or haven’t “earned the right to breathe it”… Only of course, they might sugarcoat the hell out of the way they say it.

  • Dumily

    I am so thrilled that we've made it this far into a conversation about poverty in the US, and no one has posted anything about "bootstraps." Well done, Pajiba.

  • pcloadletter

    The poor had to eat their bootstraps since food stamps were cut.

  • Dumily

    So they were able to feed themselves then, weren't they? Seems to me the policy is working beautifully. And no arguing the bootstraps aren't "real food." If they wanted to eat food, they shouldn't have been born poor.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Well, it's like the Biblical proverb goes: Give a poor man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a poor man to fish, and he'll be all like "dude, fishing gear is f*cking expensive!"

  • I wish back-to-landers (who I think are really friggin cool) or libertarians, or whatever, would not think that right-wing of the Republican party was where they had to align politically.

    I mean really, would Ron Swanson watch Fox News? I think not.

  • Blake Shrapnel

    Why should we be giving these people food stamps when we have such a huge supply of protein rich Irish babies for sustenance?

  • e jerry powell

    Or all those American babies that women won't be allowed to abort. Because, of course, the good churchgoing pro-lifers don't give a shit about those kids once they're actually born.

  • Steve

    Ah. Soylent *Green*, as it were.

  • e jerry powell

    You're so *Swift*, dear.

  • MarTeaNi

    IMPORTED babies?! What, do you top them with caviar and fresh crab legs too? Factory raised American babies are good enough for the McRib so they're good enough for the poor.

  • foolsage

    No, no, these are American babies of Irish descent. It's all good. Lots of white meat on those little cherubs.

  • NateMan

    Well, you can't always eat the same thing. Eventually Irish babies would get boring. Too starchy. You've got to splurge sometimes and eat Chinese. But then you're just hungry again a few hours later. (Yes, I stole that from Family Guy.)

  • NateMan

    To be poor is a punishment of God. Poor people aren't supposed to be happy or healthy. Surely if they were God would have provided for them by giving them rich ancestors.

  • Mrs. Julien

    It is your fault you are poor. You should lift yourself up.

    Because you might one day be rich, it is important to protect the rights of rich people now and make sure they don't have to pay fair taxes or deal with regulations that interfere with their god-given right to make money. One day, that could be you.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I kid you not - ex-boyfriend of mine did say essentially the same thing at one point. (the protecting the rights of the rich for future rich him, not the "your fault you are poor." He probably thought that, but never said it within my hearing)

    He did a remarkable job of ignoring my argument that living with his parents to save money while he attempted to be an actor was a form of subsidy.

  • e jerry powell

    Beats waiting tables, I guess (unless, of course, you're Brad Pitt serving pizza at the Oscars).

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Btw, midtown, Monday at Social, or Weds, Village, Amity Hall. And about a month ago the locals bar a block from my Astoria apt started a Thursday night cash prize game.

    I try for a game every other week or so, but right now I'm in rehearsals at night.

  • e jerry powell

    I was wondering when you had time for theater in all that...

  • chanohack

    I got into a facebook discussion the other day that resulted in someone telling me that the government shouldn't be involved in helping the poor because that is the CHURCH'S job. And if the government would just butt out, the CHURCH could and would take care of everyone. (Trust them!)

  • andreana mccann

    My Uncle Caleb just got red Ford Focus ST
    by working off of a computer. try this J­u­m­p­9­9­9­.­ℂ­o­m

  • DeaconG

    Really? It reminds me of a conversation I had with my pastor many years ago, before I got laid off along with 8000 other folks round these parts. I asked him if the church would be able to help anyone if 30 percent of the folks in the pews lost their jobs.

    He shook his head. (And we're a small church).

    IIRC, didn't Ron Paul's campaign manager end up having to turn to his church for support because Mr. Paul wouldn't extend him health insurance because REASONS, he got sick and owed the hospital $200K and they had the nerve to come after his Mom for the balance. I think between his church, donations and his family they were able to cough up HALF.


    The Church? Really?

  • chanohack

    I really wanted to respond with, why don't you guys just take care of everyone so we don't have a poverty problem and the government CAN butt out?

  • Al Borland's Beard

    Do we get this food before or after we're converted?

  • Mrs. Julien

    The Protestant Churches would only feed Catholics who converted during the Irish Potato Famine.

    ETA: If someone would like to explain to me that this is a myth I would be so happy to be corrected.

  • dorquemada
    So yeah, it happened, but not as much as we're led to believe.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Thank you!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Which church? I bet we could start a church the likes of which people would not be too keen to accept aid from.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Look how well L. Ron Hubbard did!

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