web
counter

the walking dead / snl / mindhole blowers / netflix / celebrity facts / marvel / liveblogging the 90s


Everything About Michael Shannon Reading the Insane Delta Gamma Sorority Letter Is Goddamn Amazing

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | April 22, 2013 | Comments ()


Screen Shot 2013-04-22 at 1.02.33 PM.png

Surely by now, you're familiar with Rebecca Martinson, the insane, profanity-fueled, racist horrible sorority girl who chewed out the rest of her sorority for being, like, SO F***KING BORING, and who coined the phrase "c*nt punt."

She's beautifully hostile. In fact, I think she may be TK's spirit animal. If "Deadwood's" Calamity Jane were a sorority girl, it's what she would've written.

But what's better than that insane letter? Having Michael Shannon read it out loud, of course. It. Is. Amazing. Every single goddamn second of it.








Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Tony S

    Pretty good, but in the same boat as most, this is not as good as the Allison Haislip version.

  • John W

    After that epic email Ann Coulter went on to pen several books....

  • L.O.V.E.

    I don't mean to demean or trivialize writers, but this is Exhibit A as to why actors make the big money. Holy shit, if you got Michael Shannon, some strings and low lighting, who needs a story. I want more of this.

    And the wank motion was sublime.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Can you get an Oscar for a Funny or Die video?

  • Lisa Newlin

    I'm more in love with this man now, and I didn't think that was possible. Do you think he'll read my response to the author? HE NEEDS TO EFFING READ IT!

    http://lisanewlin.com/2013/04/...

  • DoctorDoucheBag

    This should be in the new Superman movie, General Zod should totally read this from his spaceship before invading Earth.

  • Slash

    I wanted to have the sorority chick launched into the sun. But this guy reading it aloud is pretty entertaining.

  • PaddyDog

    Some day somebody will explain to me the point of sororities (or frats for that matter). I get the historical elitist thing of being with ones own crowd, but surely that is no longer what anyone wants from the university experience?

  • russtcb

    The Alison Haislip version is better.

  • e jerry powell

    But hey, give the girl props. At least the letter was semi-literate.

  • e jerry powell

    O, wonder!
    How many goodly creatures are there here!
    How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
    That has such people in't!

    The future of America, folks...

  • Mrs. Julien

    You're fancy!

  • e jerry powell

    What, that old thing?

    I've had a Compleat Shakespeare since I was three. My mom's stepmother encouraged her English lit studies, so it was almost de rigueur.

  • Viewing this made today not suck.

  • catagisreading

    Is this supposed to be turning me on? Should I call my therapist?

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Okay, he is officially one of my favorites.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Note to self: make sure headphones are securely plugged into jack before listening to at the office.

    context: I failed to do that on Friday when listening to Morgan Freeman's inspirational speech from Glory, rife with the big N word. No one said anything but still....

  • Sirilicious

    I failed to securely plug my headphones while at the teacherdesk in a computer lab which had about 14 other students in it, when first listening to Once More With Feeling. I'm glad i noticed 28 eyes on me and my big ass head phones about 12 seconds in.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I also did it once last year when Pajiba posted some video of cartoon Justice League that was full of "fucks" and "cunts." Kinda wish I could remember what it was, because it also had me laughing hysterically. Which probably did not help when people heard what was playing. AGAIN, no one said anything. After it ended and I was doing something else, I noticed the headphones were in the mic jack.

  • Sirilicious

    But at least your people think you were a badass. Having "Going Through the Motions" play through the sound system did nothing for my street cred.

  • dizzylucy

    I did it too, while listening to a Louis CK special. Now I'm super paranoid about it.

  • kirivinokur

    I'd love to see an Alec Baldwin version a la GGR.

  • Kylie

    A movie about an "insane, profanity-fueled, racist horrible sorority girl" should be made and it should star Michael Shannon. I could watch two hours of this easily

  • IngridToday

    Definitely! I don't get the racist part though....

  • Her twitter has a bunch of racist comments.

  • BLA

    I scrolled down to the comments because I had the exact same question.

  • competitivenonfiction

    I think it's to really round out the character?

  • Ian Fay

    I dunno. I really like the Alison Haislip version.

    http://youtu.be/NQB812PtvgE

    She really nails the sorority girl tone.

    Shannon's delivery seems a little odd. (Admittedly, if Boardwalk Empire is any indication, it seems to be his normal Walken-esque acting style.)

  • cruzzercruz

    That definitely doesn't hold a candle to this. She sounds exactly how I envision this dumb bitch actually saying these words, which is to say excruciatingly loud and totally oblivious to how stupid and pathetic her email is. Obviously, Alison gets it, but it doesn't make it any funnier, it just reminds me that this chick was serious.

  • foolsage

    Agreed. I prefer the Michael Shannon version because he makes it clear that this is BOMBAST. Break out your inner Brian Blessed and let it roar!

  • Ian Fay

    I'm sorry. You mispelled the name of BRIAN BLESSED. BRIAN BLESSED'S name is always in full caps:

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmw...

  • foolsage

    Fair point. It really is more appropriate that way, and better suits the majesty that is BRIAN BLESSED.

  • e jerry powell

    Not everybody has a Hawkman costume, though.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    DIIIIIIIIIIIIVE.

    (though don't go calling Vultan Hawkman.)

  • e jerry powell

    I'd be too busy staring at his thighs.

  • e jerry powell

    I mean, clearly.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I agree.

  • damnitjanet

    I was President of my Sorority chapter, and I wish I could have written something quite this profound. This has been the most perfect thing I have ever witnessed. God Bless 'Murica!

  • Kristen Mc

    Did they film this in the house from Risky Business?

  • My favorite thing EVER IN THE WORLD.

  • I find Michael Shannon to be insanely creepy...

  • e jerry powell

    Particularly when he's scourging himself after dirty dirty sex with Paz de la Vega...

  • Natallica

    Damn, Zack Snyder really looked for a new character direction on Zod's main monologue

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Michael Shannon shadowed that girl for weeks in order to prep for playing Zod. By the time it was over, she had him kneeling before her.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    I'm simultaneously laughing my ass off and irrationally terrified.

  • e jerry powell

    Meh. Take away her 151 and she's a pussycat.

  • PDamian

    I'm too irrationally terrified to laugh at all.

  • mairimba

    That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

  • Kristin James

    til I saw tℎe cℎℯck ŵℎicℎ had ṡaid $4611, I accℯpṫ tℎaṫ...my... môṫℎℯr in laŵ ŵaṡ likℯ ṫℎℯy ṡay acṫually rℯcℯiving mônℯy parṫṫimℯ ôn ṫℎℯir cômpuṫℯr.. ṫℎℯrℯ ṡiṡṫℯrṡ nℯigℎbôur ℎaz dônℯ ṫℎiṡ 4 lℯṡṡ ṫℎan ṡix mônṫℎṡ and aṫ prℯsℯnṫ clearℯd tℎℯ dℯbṫṡ ôn ṫℎℯir côṫṫagℯ and purcℎaṡℯd a grℯaṫ nℯŵ Infiniṫi. ŵℯ lôôkℯd ℎℯrℯ, . http://www.GoogleProjectsPosit...

  • SabrinaHatesDisqus

    One thumb down, one thumb up. Needs more møøse.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    I don't know what font or language that is in, but I want to rub my testicles on it.

  • NynjaSquirrel

    She does have nice ω tho - in some of her other posts.. ωeaks etc..

  • michaelceratops

    That's going to get me through this Monday.

  • I want to watch this so badly, but I am at work, and since I've read that letter, I know that not even headphones will make that acceptable to listen to while I'm sitting at my desk in a room full of grandmas (actually two grandmothers, but the point stands).

  • foolsage

    You really, really ought to watch this video. The written letter was good, but the performance of reading it aloud is masterful.

  • Oh, I fully intend to watch it. About one hour left 'til I get home, then sittng down to watch this is high on the 'to do' list.

  • Kolby

    It'll be worth the wait just to hear him say,"cunt punt."

  • Absolutely worth the wait.

  • Wow. I mean, wow. That is just....

    Tears. Down my face. I just...wow.

  • ang

    Oh. My. God. That was BY FAR the best thing I have seen in ages!

blog comments powered by Disqus