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Ashton Kutcher Even Manages To F*ck Up Altruism. Good Job, Kelso, You Dumbass.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Videos | Comments (27)

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LIsten guys. I’m all for altruism. Hell, unlike some, celebrity altruism usually doesn’t bother me one bit. I don’t care if Angelina Jolie comes off as smug. I don’t give a sh*t if Sean Penn gets a little loud up there on his soap box. It’s pretty groovy that Sandra Bullock sort of quietly donated $1 million to the American Red Cross to help Japan. The fact that Idris Elba is opening a healthcare clinic in Sierra Leone makes him even sexier in my eyes. But these anti-sex slavery ads that Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore and their band of famous merry pranksters made? I find them f*cking WEIRD. The tone is just…off. Am I anti-sex slavery. Um, yes. Am I glad all these famous peeps are anti-sex slavery too? Um, sure? Do I think anyone watching these videos, one hand on the phone to Dial-A-Sex-Slave, is going to hang up in shame? Um… no. These videos are bizarre and creepy if you ask me. Oh, you didn’t? Hmm.

[via Video Gum]









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Comments

I don't...I don't get it.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at April 13, 2011 4:03 PM

What in the gd fuck is this? What's that creepy pedo muzak in the background? Why is Longoria there? Do celebrities know what sex slavery is? It's not cute or funny. I hate everyone.

Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at April 13, 2011 4:10 PM

I don't understand. I don't even know what to ask that might lead to my understanding.

Posted by: pxilated at April 13, 2011 4:19 PM

While there are many many causes that can benefit from the application of clever advertising

this is not one of them
the blunt hammer of shame and horror is needed

Posted by: PyD at April 13, 2011 4:24 PM

Are you kidding? Are these meant to be a joke? These cannot seriously be anti child sex slavery public service announcements! Not cute, not funny, not relevant to the issue at all.

Posted by: kaceebee at April 13, 2011 4:35 PM

What about "Real men don't buy boys?" I guess no celebs wanted that one.

Posted by: Jenn at April 13, 2011 4:39 PM

Yea I second/third/fourth everyone else. I don't get it.

Although nicely placed advertisement for Hanes, Kutcher. I also REALLY don't understand how he's relevant anymore.

Posted by: grace b at April 13, 2011 4:55 PM

I...I am confuse.

Posted by: noodlestein at April 13, 2011 5:11 PM

The light-hearted tone would seem to suggest that instead of buying girls, a real man would buy a woman.

Horrifying.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 13, 2011 5:11 PM

Although, I can honestly admit that I have made a grilled cheese sandwich using an iron.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at April 13, 2011 5:20 PM

Whoever thought of this lame concept needs to have their ass kicked. Those participating need to do a reality check - or at least fire their managers.

Posted by: Evil Pixie at April 13, 2011 5:21 PM

EMUS DON'T EVEN LIKE CEREAL! GAWL!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 13, 2011 5:31 PM

These are the same people that are selling jewelry to raise awareness for their cause. The jewelry in question? Necklaces with little silver handcuff charms hanging from them. The sheer idiocy of that blows me away.

Posted by: tipsywoozy at April 13, 2011 5:34 PM

Also, the people these are aimed at too busy snorting coke off some unwilling person while other women gyrate and strip on raised platforms around the room and big dudes stand around holding big guns and wearing sunglasses even though the whole place is really dark, not watching YouTube or checking Kutcher's Twitter feed. Dur.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 13, 2011 5:37 PM

huh? what the fuck was that? it's more than weird. i feel soiled. ugh.

Posted by: splinter at April 13, 2011 5:48 PM

I'm sorry, I'm all for awareness and all but WHO?!!!! at least in this part of the world??!!! DOES NOT KNOW? IT'S WRONG TO SELL CHILDREN?!!1! Who the hell are we educating here?! Yeah, I know kids get bought and sold! Kids get murdered too! We never see a "Real men don't murder children" ads! We don't see any "Real men don't destroy an entire housing industry"!

How about a fucking "Real women don't drive their children screaming into a frigid river" campaign?

Posted by: Protoguy at April 13, 2011 6:29 PM

They're... just... so weird. I can't imagine who thought these would be a good idea, or that they in any way have something to do with non-trafficking. What does being a real man have to do with anything? It's nightmarishly inept.

Posted by: Caspar at April 13, 2011 6:41 PM

I prefer Casper VanDien's anti-child abuse PSA... Which he did in full Terran mobile infantry gear. It manages to be sweet and sincere, while at the same time being ball-trippingly hilarious.

link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FgFbFKLF8A&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Posted by: Blake Shrapnel at April 13, 2011 6:56 PM

...I think...I can see where they were trying to go with these...but like everyone else has said, it is the wrong way to go. Way wrong way. This type of "funny" shouldn't be used for a subject like sex slavery.

Posted by: Candee at April 13, 2011 7:16 PM

No, I'm actually not a real man. What's the number where I can order me a purrty young girl?

Posted by: Uriah Creep at April 13, 2011 10:24 PM

What?!

Posted by: Denesteak at April 13, 2011 11:13 PM

I don't get the socks..
What do socks have to do with sextrade?

And doing washing is throwing it in the laundry bucket??

*mightily confused*

Posted by: Magiel at April 14, 2011 5:01 AM

He didn't throw them in a laundry bucket; he threw them in the garbage - then got a new pair from the package. Real men don't DO laundry. Get it? Ha. Ha.

Posted by: Tchrevor at April 14, 2011 6:33 AM

I literally just got back up from falling on my bed laughing, I had to have a bit of a lie down to calm down. I just.. I don't.. how do I... what in the god fuck... go on, you can tell me, this is a bit for Jimmy Kimmel isn't it?

Posted by: Laurie at April 14, 2011 8:30 AM

So, the opposite of a "real man" is a fucking pedophile? Are you trying to shame dudes who rape children by calling them pussies? This is so profoundly misguided that it would be comical were there not so much at stake.

Honestly, why can't people just donate their milions and shut the fuck up? Surely, Human Rights Watch can handle this better than you can, Ashton and Demi.

Posted by: samantha t at April 14, 2011 12:27 PM

It all just seems rather.... jaunty...
And "real men" are actually inept buffoons?
Justin Timberlake shaves?

Posted by: Odnon. at April 14, 2011 3:45 PM

I'd like to believe that the people who created these don't know anything about the sex trade, because if they do, they are some evil motherfuckers. The creepy music, the sexy female sign-off, the goofiness is horribly trivializing. It's like a condom commercial. "Real men do their laundry. Real men wear Trojans!"

Posted by: humdee at April 16, 2011 12:56 PM