Amy Poehler Gives the Best Possible Description of What It's Like to Be a Woman

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Amy Poehler Gives the Best Possible Description of What It's Like to Be a Woman

By Vivian Kane | Videos | August 27, 2014 | Comments ()


The Approval Matrix is a new Sundance show inspired by the New York Magazine back page pop culture round up. This week, host Neal Brennan got lost in a black hole of What Women Want. Because it’s so hard to figure out what they’re looking for: do they want an actual “nerd” or a cool guy who looks like a nerd? They say they want a “nice guy” but only date jerks (cue every amateur stand-up routine ever). It feels like he’s supposed to be all things at once, and that’s frustrating. So Neal called in Amy Poehler for some advice and she, in the nicest, most eloquent manner possible, basically told him to shut the f*ck up. Oh, you’re suddenly finding it hard to navigate the contradictions that have been placed on you? THAT’S WHAT IT’S MEANT TO BE A WOMAN SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME.

Via Vulture.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • kirbyjay

    Amy/Tina/Julia make me proud to be a woman/girl.
    Because we all know that woman that are not somewhat attractive are not worthy to the world of men
    P.S. That's Louis-Dreyfuss, not Roberts. Put away the smelling salts

  • Robert Sanchez III

    I don't really get his question. It would be so subjective a situation that one standard for behavior is asinine. Is This a feeling other guys have here? Also, I imagine Israeli bodyguards enjoy massages as much as the rest of us.

  • Jennifer Gonzalez

    'What women want'. Well, certainly not this.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    What do women want? If the answer is anything other than, 'a tampon that moves WITH you', or 'to enter into the the high-drama world of actuarial science', I've been labouring under some gross misapprehensions.

  • Sara_Tonin00


    One of my sisters used to do the actuary thing... high-drama, indeed.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Mathematics and I had a terrible falling out a while back, so if anyone can actually make it into that field successfully, I'm hailing that person as a genius.

  • Uriah_Creep

    My last post was supposed to have a picture attached. Disqus, go to your room and think about what you've done and what a disappointment you've been to your parents.

    ETA: And now, of course, the picture shows up. Fuck you, Disqus.

  • Maguita NYC

    You need more alcohol when dealing with disqus. And hiya Canuckian! Heard you Maple-fusioned with the king of burgers.

  • Uriah_Creep

    The Yankee-Beaver deal hasn't gone through yet, but I'm sure it will, since money talks, and Burger King wants to take advantage of our sweet moose-approved corporate tax laws. I fear Tim Hortons will suffer from future corporate cuts, so I'm willing to stand at the border with hockey sticks and snowballs and defend our java. Canuckians, are you with me?!

  • Maguita NYC

    Are you talking about your Columbian Java or Ecuador's?
    ... I really shouldn't have teased you... Forgot you already took out your hockey sticks and snowballs.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Oh Amy, you beauty.

  • robbermaiden

    Dear god, I adore her.
    Can we be friends? Can you also run the whole world too? Thanks! That would be greaaaat.

  • John W

    I'm sensing a tone...

  • Ali2044

    Ugh, I hate that. Like, I'm going to dismiss everything you've just said because of the way you said it.

  • poopnado

    Amazeballs. MEN, PLEASE TAKE NOTE.

  • andrew packer

    "Do you prefer to be a called a girl, lady, or whore?"

  • pluiedenovembre

    Amy Poehler always makes things better when I'm having a crappy day.

  • AlexW

    I like that you can pinpoint the exact moment when he realizes that a) he's asked an incredibly stupid question, and b) Amy Poehler is about to absolutely school him.

  • Maguita NYC

    Have to admire him though for still posting it, in all its honest straightforward glory.

    And everything Amy Poehler does is just beautiful!

  • E Robb

    I guess you guys don't know who Neal Brennan is.

  • Maddy

    I knew I was right to like her

  • badfae

    What do women want? To be treated like individuals, not some mysterious hive-mind to be decoded. There. Done.

  • emmalita

    Her direct but gracious style is one I strive to emulate.

  • alwaysanswerb

    That she didn't spontaneously grow horns and spit venom when he said "I'm sensing a tone" makes her a much better woman than me

  • Mrs. Julien

    1. We don't want to be called "girls".
    2. Thank you, Amy.

  • Melissa D

    I don't mind girls at all, because in my neck of the wood it's very much a colloquialism that's used for all and sundry. Everyone is either a girl or a boy, so you can have 50 year old women having a girls' night and a bunch of 90 year old men going out with the boys.

    That being said, I do understand that the term can have different connotations in different places (and when spoken by certain people).

    What I REALLY hate is being called Ma'am, unless it's immediately followed by "You're making a scene!".

  • Ro

    The best thing to come out of The Newsroom:

  • NateMan

    That one is both important and a struggle for me. Honest question: At what age is the word 'girl' no longer appropriate in your opinion? I ask this since I work at a college, it can be tough not to use the word 'girl' to describe any of the student employees who give us a call when I relay the problem she's having. It's easy with men - I can just use 'guy' whatever the age. But ladies don't really have a non-age specific term. I try to at least go with 'young woman', but I'm serious about the question. :)

  • jennp421

    What about going gender neutral? "The student" or "the employee."

  • NateMan

    That's sometimes useful, but many of the departments have a dozen or more student employees. More specificity is required, while there are so many of them and they come and go so quickly no one has time to remember their actual names.

  • PerpetualIntern

    I say once you hit college. I went to an all-women's college. It is NOT referred to as a girls' school. It is a women's college.

  • Mrs. Julien

    It looks like the gang took care of this one for me and I agree with them. Mostly, I was thinking of myself. I was out with a group of female co-workers recently. The manager of the pub came to us and said, "Girls, ....". Our average age was about 45 and no one was under 40. I nearly burst into flames, but on the inside.

  • barcia

    Referring to college-aged women as "girls" is inappropriate. There is nothing wrong with saying "This woman/the woman from _____dept./[Personal name] called and wants to know..."

    As far as I'm concerned, aged 13 and under are "girls," 14-18 are "young women," and 18+ are "women."

  • nailpolishcolor

    would you refer to a male student as boy? No. I understand 'guy' is convenient, but 'girl' means little girl. "Broad" or "chick" is too informal as well. But no more 'girl' -- It impacts an infant mentality on us

  • Vince

    Gal works but if you're uncomfortable with that you could use doll as well.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I don't think that 'gal' or 'doll' are going to lead you anywhere productive-- as those are gateway nouns. Soon, you'll descend into 'moll', or 'dish', or 'babe', or 'moveable box' and it won't end so well.

  • Vince

    Wait, moveable box?

  • emmalita

    Gal and doll will both make me hate you automatically. True story.

  • Zen

    Unless you're Marlon Brando, no.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    Well, anything if you're Marlon Brando.

  • laylaness

    Nooooooo. I find "doll" to be super-condescending.

    "Lady" or "woman" is okay with me.

  • doctormew19

    You used it in your question... lady

  • logan

    I say girls under 18, 18-20 young women, 21 on up are wimmen,
    I use the same scale for males.

  • doctormew19

    That's a good system.. though I can say at 18 if someone called me young woman (angst filled still) I'd get my teenage panties in a twist.. but at that age I essentially found anything adults called me condescending and stupid.... so eh

  • JJ

    Wasn't the mystery of what women want solved by Helen Hunt, Marisa Tomei, and a briefly-cross-dressing Mel Gibson back in 2000?

  • BWeaves


  • JJ

    They didn't?! Next you'll be telling me that Winona Ryder, Kirsten Dunst, and Claire Danes were not, in fact, little.

  • SamuraiShampoo

    Neal Brennan needs to be told to basically shut the fuck up more often.

  • Paddington

    The Chappelle Show's success over validated him.

  • E Robb

    What could that possibly be based on?

  • zeke_the_pig

    I don't know what either women or men want; all I know right now is that I want Amy Poehler.

  • Nimue

    I really need to figure out how to become this woman's friend.

  • nailpolishcolor

    Society is Amy Poehler's friend

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I love how there's all this confusion surrounding the different types women want, as if the archetypical male hasn't had the conflicting desires for virgins and whores since the world began.

    but that's beside the point of Amy's brilliance, which I can't see at the moment, but look forward to watching tonight.

  • Naye

    Thats possibly everything ive been trying to say this year, abou tmy frustration between men that say they want A and then chase B. Im trying to advise all women not to give a fuck but...Im pretty alone in that

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