6 Reasons You Shouldn't Leave Your House on Black Friday

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | November 29, 2013 | Comments ()


ap_black_friday_21_dm_121123_wg.jpg

Before you leave your house to enter into the Black Friday retail madness, ask yourself this: Is it really worth it? What are you really gaining? Is it necessary to put yourself at risk for actual bodily harm for a cheap television? Do you even watch your TV anymore? What are you going for what won’t be available tomorrow? Or at the same price online on Monday? Black Friday has to be the least efficient, most uncomfortable shopping experience ever, and you gain very little for the experience, and you risk so much to save a few dollars, which you’ll probably waste on a trip to the E.R.

Here’s six examples from just the LAST 12 HOURS from around the country to illustrate for you what you absolutely do not want to do today, which is to leave your house. Escaping your drunk uncle for a few hours can’t be worth this:

Officers make arrests after fight breaks out over TVs

People crushed trying to get into a Target

Police have to subdue a woman in Wal-Mart after she gets in a fight over a television

Burly man basically bowls over people in a Wal-Mart order to get what I believe is a TV

A hair-pulling throw down over clothes

A stampede inside this Wal-Mart looks like the Wall Street trading floor at the end of Trading Places



Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Because every time you do an angel does the Paul Rudd dance

Around the Web


'Homefront' Review: You'll Never Leave the Bayou Alive | Rashida Jones and Jimmy Fallon Turn the Year's Biggest Hits into Fantastic Holiday Songs





Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • TheOriginalMRod

    Yeah. Amazon will be getting all my Xmas money.

  • oilybohunk7

    I would only do this if the line was for a heart transplant and I was in need of one. Electronics? No.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I get the scorn over Black Friday from those of us who have the option to set at a computer for half the day - we can browse the internet during our jobs and get the deals without breaking a sweat. But there are people who don't have that luxury at the office or at home, and those are the people to whom those savings do a make big difference.

    I don't like the mentality; it's terrible, and so is the behavior of people who start fights over items. It is a terrible cycle of propaganda and desperation though.

  • e jerry powell

    Such is consumerism in an anti-socialist culture.

  • These really make me ashamed to be a human being. Is it too late to apply to become a three-toed sloth? I love trees, and I'm pretty laid-back. Please?

  • BlackRabbit

    Be a tree kangaroo instead. Much more fun. Or a bearcat!

  • kirbyjay

    Thank God for the Internet. ALL of my Christmas shopping is done on my ass with a click of my finger. Got a $500 tv for $350 for Mr. Kirbyjay and it has already been shipped for free.
    I would rather be in a panicked crowd running from an alien invasion or zombies, than at a Walmart on Black Friday. At least I'd know the elbows to the head that I dished out were life saving measures and not for $10 off a blender.

  • BlackRabbit

    As I saw it suggested elsewhere: you don't like that a store makes someone work on a Thanksgiving-don't shop there. That's food money to someone.

  • e jerry powell

    I think I should start a yearly reminder to black women to take their weaves out after Thanksgiving dinner if they plan to shop the next morning. Treat Black Friday like a street fight. No jewely, no hair extensions, lots of Vaseline all over anything that could get grabbed. People be crazy about the TVs.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    You would be doing the world a great service.

  • Space Raptor

    At closer analysis I believe the"Burly Man" is actually helping a blonde lady who had fallen. He had a TV to begin with then he drops it suddenly, and runs back in. At that point the blonde lady gets up and he heads back to his family and picks up the TV.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Musings:

    I watched the videos only to confirm that my local Walmart and Target were not involved.

    Why TargMart? No drama at Best Buy or Toys R Us?

    This is why I work on Black Friday. Virtually no traffic on the way to work. I park close to the door in the parking garage. No one bothers me all day because they are all out shopping.

  • TheAggroCraig

    I wonder how much of this is "OH MAN THAT DEAL IS GREAT I NEEED IT" and how much is "HA HA SUCKER I GOT IT AND YOU DIDN'T". Neither one paints a pretty picture.

    And now, I have a confession: I did some Black Friday shopping. I downloaded a code for PlayStation Plus from Gamestop's website. However, in the spirit of the day, I walked outside of my apartment and knocked down a stranger.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    You did your part.

  • manting

    wow - next year im gonna get in line at a walmart fall down and then SUE the shit out of walmart for creating an unsafe environment. I will settle out of court for low 6 figures.

  • DeaconG

    I didn't have a choice, my 4-year old microwave decided to go tango uniform today (magnetron/power supply fail). I'm starting at it going "Really? TODAY?"

    Fortunately I was able to get to Target, get the microwave I wanted (checked on line to make sure the store had it, it's bigger than the one I had and only $25 more to replace the size I had), get home and get it up and running without too much hassle. But no, I really did not intend to go out there today!

  • layla

    I'm just really saddened by the fact that you can't go a day without a microwave....

  • DeaconG

    Considering my oven no workee and it would cost a lot more to replace it than a microwave, not to mention going to stovetop mode to do simple things is a pain in the ass, you work with what you got.

    I'm more pissed over the fact it only went four years. My first microwave was a Tappan 1000W I bought in 1992, it had Timex blood (took a licking and kept on ticking, cooked everything I threw at it and then some) and lasted 17 YEARS.

    The Panasonic that replaced it lasted FOUR. Grrr.

  • Some Guy

    My parents have had the same microwave since the mid 80s. It's like Boxer, the horse from Animal Farm, but without the veiled political subtext.

    It's just big, plodding, not quite what it used to be, but man, that thing'll cook, well, a horse.

    Shit just doesn't last nowadays.

  • Brooke Michelle

    I want to hear David Attenborough narrating these.

  • Some Guy

    You've got to think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, look high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem.

    Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness. Super Bowl, World Series - they don't know what pressure is.

    In Walmart, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the lines and you take no prisoners. One minute you're up 500 bucks in Sesame Street Merchandise and Blue Rays, and the next, boom, your kids in college hate you and they've repossessed your Buick.

  • idiosynchronic

    2 thoughts:

    The 'halfback wader' video (4th down) strikes me as some guy doing something else - because the TV he picks up is the same exact model he has in his hands at the beginning of the clip, and he puts it down to do . . ?
    (Edit: he's rescuing some teenaged kid? The kid comes out of the scrum and joins the family in front of the camera after halfback appears to drag him out.)

    And American retail companies have obviously decided that despite the decades of negative reports about these riots, they're not going to change their business practices. Probably something like, "any publicity is good publicity." This is unrestrained Capitalism at it's purest worst. It's time for the heavy hand of regulation.

  • Happycats

    Agreed, someone on facebook posted this and a commenter also suggested he's picking a person up who was trampled. He already had his tv. Then at the end gets a little pushy with someone who tries to take the tv he originally grabbed before going back to help. It's kinda unclear but I'd like to hope that at least one person was thinking of others.

  • grr arrgh

    This is the nutty hardcore shopping I don't understand. It's so much easier to wait til around 9 or 10 in the morning to go. I got the Star Trek Into Darkness Blu-ray/DVD for under 5 bucks AND didn't meet Jesus early. I am satisfied.

  • Ryan Ambrose

    And I thought The Hunger Games were scary...

  • John W

    How have they not made the Black Friday fighting video game. Or horror survival game.

  • Parsnip

    Edward Bernays (Freud's nephew) was the first person to take Freud's idea about human beings and use them to manipulate the masses. He showed American corporations for the first time how to they could make people want things they didn't need by linking mass produced goods to their unconscious desires. Out of this would come a new political ideal of how to control the masses. By satisfying people's inner selfish desires one made them happy and thus docile. It was the start of the all-consuming self which has come to dominate our world today. [Transcript from the excellent television documentary 'The Century of the Self']

  • DeaconG

    Major points for mentioning Bernays' Propaganda. I have the PDF and it's a wicked read.

    EDIT: If you read it he warns about the possibility of misusing the concepts he created. He was aware of what he was writing and how it could be abused.

  • ViciousTrollop

    That last video looks like something out of The Walking Dead when the zombies all pile on a person and rip them to shreds.

  • bobsmith

    Yeah, combination of extreme greed and extreme stupidity. Quite the society we're turning into.

  • John W

    That's why Al Gore invented the internet.

  • Anna von Beav

    I just .... the deals are not that great, man. If you're a careful shopper you can get good deals at other times. I think it's an excuse for people to feel like it's okay to act like assholes in public.

  • Michelle

    Black Friday is just mind boggling to me. I work at a credit card processing company and I STILL don't get it.

  • Danar the Barbarian

    These people must just like being in crowds. I don't do crowds. I don't go to music festivals for this reason - I guess I just like my personal space too much. And fighting - physically coming to blows with a random stranger - over consumer goods when I can buy them later, for probably cheaper makes zero sense to me. Black Friday shoppers are like those weird people who camp out on the streets of Pasadena to see the Rose Parade live - except with more punching and fewer flowers. I'll pass.

  • ...and YET, people by the truckloads lined up outside every major retailer and mall in America yesterday and into the night, in order to get these "amazing" deals.

    So, in spite of all of our hard work, Americans still fell into the expectations of the retail and marketing overlords.

  • bastich

    I view Black Friday shoppers the same way that I view people who willingly jump into mosh pits -- from as far away as possible.

    Having said that, I know that my sister and her friends are out there in the BF chaos right now. You can't miss them -- they'll be the ones sporting warpaint and stun batons.

  • PDamian

    This is one of the days of the year I'm most glad to live in a smaller, semi-rural community. We're just big enough to have a Best Buy, a Walmart and a Target, but neither big enough nor crazy enough to have long lines wrapping around buildings. Folks here are also fairly conservative/traditional in outlook, so they reserve the Thanksgiving season for family. We're also close enough to the Twin Cities (MN) that anyone wanting a big nuthouse scene on Black Friday can just hop in the car and go hang at the Mall of America.

  • My fiancee and her sisters went to the MOA at 4 AM this morning. I stayed in bed like a normal person who has a long-standing rule against leaving the house on Black Friday.

  • grr arrgh

    I live in a similar, though far far southern, area. I only went to Bed, Bath and Beyond (Or as my father likes to call it "B3") and Best Buy and both stores were only a little bit more crowded than normal. Basically the difference between shopping on a Monday and a Saturday. I'd totally people watch at Mall of America on Black Friday rather than shop.

  • oilybohunk7

    I live between the shopping corridor of the county and two major highways, it isn't fun. The only thing I do like is that I also work really close so I do my shopping one store at a time directly after work before the hoards descend.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    I would never go to Mall of America during the holidays, much less so on Black Friday.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    I can't wait until the day that Black Friday starts at 6pm on Halloween. Stomping on people to get a $200 TV will be more fun if I'm dressed as a dinosaur and heavily intoxicated.

  • bastich

    I'll be looking out for the resulting headline in the papers the next day.

    ("Drunken Shopper in 'Sexy Barney' Costume Assaults Dozens")

  • Naye

    I've talked to a lot of people, and come to the conclusion that people only venture out on BF for the drama of being out among the masses. I think it's some wort of #winner complex. Especially in the days of online shopping.

    Maybe I'm biased because this girl doesnt do lines. Not at the airport, not at the grocery store, not at the club, not at the movies. I pretty much don't get excited over anything that will take me longer than 20 minutes to get to. And large crowds scare the crap out of me. Ever been under a pile?

  • rocky

    How on earth do you do airports without lines? I must know this secret. Are you British Royalty?

  • Naye

    Leaving at some obscure o-dark thirty lol. Leaving a day ahead of the holiday rush. Not checking bags, or checking them with those attendants who hang outside the airport. Pre-printing tickets. Not rushing when they call your seating area, you'll get seated anyway so enjoy that Great Wrap. Those are all the free ways. The only lines I can't avoid are when I'm flying internationally. Then I pretty much have to suck it up. But that's easy with some Cinnabon on hand. You can pay expedite some security processes I've heard, but Naye dont pay lol.
    If I must suffer through lines, they have to be very short lol, or the payoff isnt worth it.

    Other tips: Checking out at the pharmacy, photo cneter, or customer service desk at given retailer, shopping online, catching the Chipotle line at then end of an hour (like 1:48pm), purchasing the quick line pass at amusement parks, sucking it up for the "free before" crowd and getting drunk at home before showing up to the club at like 12. Bring a pregnant friend. People like to let pregnant ladies cut lol...etc

  • Maguita NYC

    Yes. Once, during a ski T-bar lift mishap... That's how I learned to bring my batons for Black Friday shopping...

  • Nobody important

    The store should punish those shoppers. Those yelllow tickets or whatever they are should not be honored. Take them put them back later when the event is over. That might get people's attention from trying to kill each other. If there is a stampede or shoving match... Take the items at the register and explain why... when its calmed down put them back out for shoppers who can behave.

  • Naye

    They could really just give out tickets for special items or "doorbusters" before people get inside the store. Everyone should form a nice orderly line and each in line will get a ticket for their item and place in line. Geez it's elementary school concepts.
    I get your idea, but it's gonna result in employees getting hurt. People don't like being publicly reprimanded, especially on a volatile day like BF

  • simplysarah

    From now on when I am asked why I do not go shopping on Black Friday, I will direct people here. We are supposed to be a civilized society and yet we are reduced to animals over saving a little money?!

  • Malin

    Several Norwegian stores and online retailers have started doing Black Friday offers for the last couple of years. I don't like the idea that people are forced to work the day after Thanksgiving, and not allowed to spend time with their loved ones, but in Norway, Thanksgiving is basically just any old November Thursday, with crazy pre-Christmas bargains just because we're so influenced by American culture. I've just completed most of my Christmas shopping, from the comfort of my own sofa, with fairly substantial savings. So while I'm not super happy about small children begging candy on Halloween (which is another tradition we seem to have adopted over the last decade), I can get behind the random Black Friday offers. Thanks America!

  • Helo

    We've got this bullshit in Panama too.

  • malechai

    Spread to Canada too (which is probably more understandable than Norway). Is
    it wrong to feel a little superior about NOT going into a frenzy about
    Black Friday because I'm Canadian? Pshaw...we save that sort of
    craziness for Boxing Day, where it belongs!

  • hippyherb

    Here in Australia we do the boxing day sales as well. I am always too broke and too buggered to go.

  • emmalita

    I think that's why they moved it to the day after t-giving. We Americans have just been reminded of the people we spend the rest of the year forgetting. And we haven't spent all our money on gifts yet.

  • troublesometots

    What? Little kids begging for candy is the absolute best! Followed closely of course by parents picking the most tasty tidbits from their candy bag once they've gone to bed. Not that I would ever do this, ahem....

    But sorry to hear that the plague of Black Friday has spread to Norway. People beating each other to save $50 over a giant TV set probably just reinforces every negative stereotype of the ugly Americans. *sigh*

  • emmalita

    You're welcome. I think.

  • Maguita NYC

    Whuh?! No! The hair pulling, ladies please...

    *Hides safely underneath warm covers.

blog comments powered by Disqus





Follow Us



Related Posts




Viral Hits
Celebrity Facts

The Best TV & Movie Quotes

The Walking Dead

How I Met Your Mother

True Detective

Parks and Recreation

Cosmos

Hannibal

30 Practical Tips About the Horrors of Raising Children

25 Practical Tips About the Horrors of Raising Twins