Vacancy / Phillip Stephens
Amy and David Fox (Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson) are driving along at night somewhere in rural California. Dave has made the predictably bad decision to leave the interstate and take a short cut, getting them lost in the middle of nowhere. Amy is understandably crabby about this, but something else seems to be undercutting their acrimonious bickering. The couple initially look like standard cultural archetypes — he’s stubborn and blandly sensible, while she’s a nagger and a worrier. We later learn, as a breakdown strands them in some two-building town with a derelict hotel and gas station, that the couple has recently lost a child and their marriage is dissolving. Beckinsale and Wilson, though not particularly known for their talents in a dramatic context like this, do succeed in establishing a kind of rapport that strengthens audience concern.
In this way, director Nimrod Antal (Kontroll) successfully builds some interest in the characters, but little in the way of suspense — the trailer for Vacancy has already provided us with the exact arc and conflict for 75 percent of film. Once the couple arrive at the town’s dilapidated roach motel, run by a loopy, eccentric named Mason (Frank Whaley), things go downhill fast. Their grubby room contains several unmarked tapes that turn out to be snuff films, and thereafter the pieces fall into place. The very same disturbing, masked marauders begin banging on the windows and doors, trapping Amy and David in the room. And, of course, they can’t call for help, because they are out of cell-phone range (the day that cell phone companies fix the goddamn out of range issue in this country is the day that modern horror movies die).
Vacancy succeeds, partially, in this middle section of the film where the story reaches its central crisis because its conceit is fairly disturbing (snuff studio trap?) and unpredictable. The claustrophobia of the setting also works in its favor, but the limitations of Mark L. Smith’s script just doesn’t give the story anywhere to go. After we’re introduced too early to the premise and villains, Vacancy is a simple cat-and-mouse game based on the old Tourist Trap horror tropes, and it wraps up much too quickly and neatly by the end.
As throwaway thriller-fare, you could do a lot worse than Vacancy, though that’s hardly a ringing endorsement — you could do worse than Chilis, too, but I’m not suggesting you order the Mombo Combo simply because IHOP’s T-Bone Steak and Eggs exists somewhere in the world. The adequate acting and direction does build some suspense; a few brief scenes are even pretty scary, but the weak writing, lackluster ending, and ridiculously over-the-top finale bring the film down and sabotage the intended creepiness along the way. Save this boring genre flick for a rainy Saturday night on HBO when you’re too lazy to get up and grab the remote from across the room.
Phillip Stephens is the lead critic for Pajiba. He lives in Fayetteville, AR.
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Comments
Me. There's no way in hell the director's actual name is "Nimrod." You're shitting us, right? With one consonant change, his name would be "Nimrod Anal."
Oh, Kate - I had such high hopes for you.
Posted by: fb at April 21, 2007 1:41 PM
I've never been a horror fan, because frankly, the genre doesn't provide the scares for me to merit the title, and I"m sure Vacancy is no exception.
I do, however, love Luke Wilson. Oh how I long for another great director to snatch him up in something I actually want to see.
Posted by: Kevin Longrie at April 21, 2007 2:48 PM
"And, of course, they can't call for help, because they are out of cell-phone range" That's, when I say PASS.
What, was the girl tripping and falling or the car not starting too cliche?
Here's an idea, if you don't have anything good to film then just don't film anything.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 21, 2007 3:43 PM
Hm. On the one hand it's Arvid from 'Swing Kids' as a loopy snuff film hotel man. On the other, Kate Beckinsale. On the one hand, Luke "OR scrubs" Wilson. On the other, Kate Beckinsale. Maybe I'll Netflix it.
Posted by: Lizzie (greeneyed fem) at April 21, 2007 4:10 PM
Frank Whaley's in this? Love him.
Posted by: Candy at April 21, 2007 4:44 PM
fb--
Yeah, there actually are people named Nimrod out there in the world. It's a Biblical name, meaning 'rebel' in Hebrew. Nimrod was apparently the grandson of Noah and the founder of Babylon. But yes, the fact that people still use the name today when it has entirely different connotations cracks me up too.
Posted by: Genevieve at April 21, 2007 6:22 PM
This is the director of 'Kontroll,' right? Man, that movie kicked ass. A shame this one sucks.
Posted by: twig at April 21, 2007 6:22 PM
@BarbadoSlim Absolutely. I'm actually a big fan of the car not starting. Way more terrifying than a flashing 'out of range' message. Oooh, spooky. If that's all they offer, then I say PASS as well.
*shivers* Seriously, hearing that engine grind and the people freaking out trying to get away because whatever is totally after them is sweet. Stupee cellphones.
Posted by: MaliceAlice at April 21, 2007 6:23 PM
Grr. I wish Kate Beckinsale would stop sucking. I have a deep and abiding love for her and quirky British movies (Cold Comfort Farm, Shooting Fish, BBC version of Emma) and it is absolutely tragic to see everyone hating her because all she has done since she came to Hollywood is schlock sci-fi, fantasy, horror or whatever other crap her hubby will direct. Watch Paltrow's Emma and then watch Kate Beckinsale's and it is blazingly obvious what a superior actress she used to be. And then watch the other two I mentioned just because I freaking love them so much. And then set a copy of Van Helsing on fire.
Posted by: Anne (in Reno) at April 21, 2007 6:36 PM
Genevieve -
In fairness, his name is typically written with an accent on the "o" -- I just couldn't help going a little Beavis there, especially when I saw the "An[t]al."
Very juvenile.
Posted by: fb at April 21, 2007 8:48 PM
As a fellow Beckinsale fan from way back, I must admit to nothing but puzzlement with her career stateside.
And really, how much more effort would it have been to have the cell phone work, and just have the call for help go awry in some way? Or, shit, if you want to be realistic, they could have forgotten to charge it. Or, hell, even broken it in a fight with each other. Something. Come on.
Posted by: Landon at April 22, 2007 12:54 AM
Oh, LUKE WILSON. *sniff* What have you come to? I think it's over between us. You know better.
Posted by: bonnie at April 22, 2007 1:52 AM
I loooove Tourist Trap!! I was excited just to see you mention that movie! hee
I have that on dvd, and I recommend it highly. It is extrememely *edge of your seat* unsettling stuff. For scares, it absolutely runs rings around much of the current day tripe.
Posted by: Loob at April 22, 2007 4:24 AM
"extrememely"
So you know, way more extreme than just extreme.
:)
Posted by: Loob at April 22, 2007 4:25 AM
You know, I've always wondered about that--about how a biblical name become synonymous with "dorkmeister" in the current vulgate. Why and how Nimrod? Why aren't we running around pointing fingers and carping out at others in our wheezy little voices, "You're such a Noah!" or "What a Jehosephat!"
Posted by: Ranylt at April 23, 2007 8:51 AM
Nimrod - Well the guy did kill his daughter to honor some ill-conceived promise he made to God. So maybe he does deserve to have his name be synonymous with moron.
Posted by: dodgeperry at April 23, 2007 3:55 PM
True, dodgeperry--but if being a bibical shite is the only pre-req, then why aren't we complaining about what a "Cain the ass" our younger siblings are?
The mystery deepens.
Posted by: Ranylt at April 23, 2007 4:07 PM
Oh, Anne, yes, you have Kate's problems down cold. I have lit up a copy of Van Helsing in your honour.
Posted by: Dot at April 24, 2007 11:24 PM
Dot, Anne: If I'm not mistaken, Kate's Hollywood horrors might be due to her being blinded by love. Isn't Van Helsing's director her husband?
Posted by: Paris at April 26, 2007 3:12 PM
This movie is as by the book as you can get. Really.
Posted by: Candy at April 26, 2007 9:50 PM
I want a refund. I saw this last night.
Posted by: Fairmaiden327 at April 28, 2007 9:22 AM
The Economist, which rarely reviews movies, gave this film a fairly solid endorsement. Seeing as I respect Pajiba for film reviews and the Economist for just about everything else, I read your review right afterward. Maybe the magazine doesn't often review movies for a reason.
Posted by: Trent880 at May 1, 2007 1:01 AM
At the very ending, was the voice on the phone that Kate Beckinsale used to call the police the same as the voice on the pay phone?
Posted by: nick at May 3, 2007 1:35 PM
