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They Can't All Be Swimf@n

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Underappreciated Gems | Comments (29)



stalkerflicks.jpg

Whenever the annual terrible “Every Breath You Take” mediocre creepy roommate/stalker film gets excreted on the unexpected masses like German porn, the names of the greats are heralded: Single White Female, and Fatal Attraction, and Taxi Driver. Well, of course. But what makes the trend more aggravating is that there have been plenty of recent independent films (in the last decade at least) that are far superior and have gotten little to know love. Are they at the same level as the Grand Prix of Lionel Richie “Hello”? Not necessarily, but they are pretty damn good nonetheless.


The Loved Ones (2009)
lovedonesstalker.jpgBrent (Xavier Samuel) just wanted to spend his prom night with his girlfriend. But Lola (Robin McLeavy), a loner obsessed with Brent, and her crazy father (John Brumpton) decide to kidnap Brent and torture him into loving Lola. Another gruesome entry from the Australia horror market. This was Sean Byrne’s first feature film. It delves into the realm of torture porn, with nail guns, syringes and buckets of blood, but it’s gleefully demented flick.


Spiral (2007)
spiralstalker.jpgMason (Joel Moore), a telemarketing loner, spends his lunch breaks doodling. His only friend is his shady boss Berkeley (a terrifically mean-spirited Zachary Levi). When a cute new girl (Amber Tamblyn) shows up at work and befriends him, she doesn’t realize what she’s gotten herself into. Joel Moore and Adam Green co-directed. And like most things Adam Green does, the ending is a little bit of a let down. But it bears excellent performances from the three leads.


One Hour Photo (2002)
onehourphotostalker.jpgMark Romanek directs this utterly fucked-up glimpse into a psychotic photo developer’s mind. Robin Williams gives a stunning performance as the lonely and twisted maniac who obsesses over one small suburban family, who he begins to love in his in own sick way through their photographs. This got more love than most of the films on the list, but I think it hasn’t gotten nearly the sheer volumes of love it deserves. It’s one of those films that makes you feel dirty after you watch it.


Big Fan (2009)
bigfanstalker.jpgPortly parking lot attendant Paul Aufiero (Patton Oswalt) is obsessed with the Giants. His life is empty and meaningless, the only joy he has in life is watching his Giants lose and plotting out rants on a local radio sports talk show. I was afraid that it would delve into the realm of The Fan, but it goes so much deeper and sadder and brilliant. It perfectly captures the sad dementia of football fans.


I Love Your Work (2005)
loveyourworkstalker.jpgMost people remember Adam Goldberg for his role in Saving Private Ryan, but he’s actually proven himself to be a pretty wonderful writer-director. It’s a celebrity stalker film turned completely on its head. Grey Evans (Giovanni Ribisi) is a Hollywood star who has the beautiful wife and the successful career. But he becomes infatuated with a video store clerk (the late Joshua Jackson) and his small meager life. It goes some fascinatingly dark places.


Chuck & Buck (2000)
chuckbuckstalker.jpgMiguel Arteta directs this phenomenally unnerving flick about two childhood friends who reconnect after years. Chuck (Chris Weitz) really wants to recapture the lost glory of their friendship, but Buck (Mike White) isn’t really feeling it. Which is sad enough, until Chuck starts stalking Buck and becoming insanely obsessed with him. It’s the psychological experience of watching someone tear off a moldy bandage on a festering wound.









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Comments

It perfectly captures the sad dementia of SOME football fans.

FTFY

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 7, 2011 3:04 PM

I love One Hour Photo and it may be the last, great Robin Williams' performance. He's so creepy and yet so pathetic that you feel sorry for him. And yet, letting anyone like him into your life is just asking for trouble.

Posted by: Fredo at February 7, 2011 3:16 PM

I watched C&B when it came out.
With my mom.
I was 17.
Shoulda done a little more research.

Posted by: Ian at February 7, 2011 3:20 PM

One Hour Photo is a great, great movie.

Posted by: Melody at February 7, 2011 3:20 PM

Would Enduring Love fit on this list?
I've never seen it, but I understand it's pretty decent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjS6zwUx1hA

Posted by: Simon at February 7, 2011 3:22 PM

"The late Joshua Jackson"

Joshua Jackson is dead? Is there more than one Joshua Jackson?

Posted by: sean at February 7, 2011 3:29 PM

Cable Guy probably should not make this list, but maybe a top 20 list?

I have wanted to see that patton oswald movie for some time now- good call.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at February 7, 2011 3:30 PM

The only one of these I've watched is One Hour Photo, and it scared the crap out of me. Definitely one of the creepiest performances I've ever seen, made even more so because Robin Williams looks freakishly like my Dad. Brr.

Posted by: Figgy at February 7, 2011 3:31 PM

Just because Joshua Jackson is Canadian doesn't mean he's the equivalent of a corpse...

Posted by: Dominique at February 7, 2011 3:37 PM

"The late Joshua Jackson"

Joshua Jackson is dead? Is there more than one Joshua Jackson?

The League of Joshua Jacksons has decreed that any son born to a Joshua Jackson must also be named Joshua Jackson. This was in light of the last time that a Joshua Jackson had a son and named him Ralph, which totally threw the sequence off and came perilously close to ending the League of Joshua Jacksons. Ever since then, it's mandated that Joshua Jacksons name their sons Joshua Jacksons and thus keep the balance of the universe intact.

Because seriously, fuck that guy and fuck Ralph.

Posted by: Fredo at February 7, 2011 3:43 PM

I had the same question about "the late Joshua Jackson," but it's the some one who comes to mind, who I'm pretty sure isn't dead. So why is he late?

Posted by: Kelly Anne at February 7, 2011 3:45 PM

When a cute new girl (Amber Tamblyn) shows up at work and befriends him...

Wait wait wait...it can either be a cute girl, or it can be Amber Tamblyn.

DECIDE QUICKLY!

Posted by: superasente at February 7, 2011 3:50 PM

RE: The late Joshua Jackson

http://www.pajiba.com/dvd_releases/dvd-releases-071508.php

This is how you tell someone is new here; these things go around in cycles. Just look in the comments.

Posted by: Goldie at February 7, 2011 4:07 PM

...it can either be a cute girl, or it can be Amber Tamblyn.

That's a little harsh. She's more attractive than many of the people I know, though that may say something about the circles I move in.

Or, superasente, is this down to hurt feelings because the 27 year old is dating the 46 year old David Cross.
You can see why the youngsters love him!

Posted by: Simon at February 7, 2011 4:12 PM

superasente, you beat me to it!

Posted by: elizabeth at February 7, 2011 4:25 PM

I've seen most of these (thanks to Netflix) and I agree.

Big Fan has been sitting in my queue forever and it's been on cable a bunch of times, yet I still haven't gotten around to watching the whole thing through. I need to remedy that.

Posted by: jM at February 7, 2011 4:36 PM

I fucking loved Big Fan.

Posted by: A-schaef at February 7, 2011 4:41 PM

I fucking loved Big Fan too. Between this and Dollhouse, Patton Oswalt's dramatic acting has rocked my socks.

Posted by: Marimack at February 7, 2011 4:50 PM

I know this is picky...in Chuck and Buck, it's Buck (the always creepy Mike White) who wants to rekindle the relationship and Chuck who is not into it.

Posted by: kitty at February 7, 2011 7:10 PM

I also recommend He Loves Me...He Loves Me Not. A nice little French film with Audrey Tautou who isn't as sweet as she seems.

Posted by: calliope1975 at February 7, 2011 8:36 PM

Great to see some love for The Loved Ones, although that film perhaps benefits more from watching it without any prior knowledge of it whatsoever...

Posted by: smitty at February 7, 2011 10:24 PM

kitty: I swore that was how it was too, but that's what the description said on Netflix. I trust us. I remember Mike White being the creepy one. Whatever. Everyone watch the movie, dammit.

smitty: That was the only description I had of The Loved Ones, and it freaking ruled.

Posted by: Prisco at February 7, 2011 11:50 PM

Well, I'm all about Glenn Close's nipple in panel 1.

Posted by: adam at February 8, 2011 1:04 AM

Wait wait wait...it can either be a cute girl, or it can be Amber Tamblyn.

Posted by: superasente at February 7, 2011 3:50 PM
---
Them's fightin' words.

Put 'em up! Draw! En garde!

Posted by: , at February 8, 2011 1:29 AM

Also: I guess "The Crush" isn't recent enough.

Posted by: , at February 8, 2011 1:30 AM

Whoa,whoa, whoa, back up a minute Sparky. What do you have against German porn?

Posted by: cinekat at February 8, 2011 8:07 AM

I'll repeat it til I die: One Hour Photo is shite, because the stalker has not reason to stalk, because the husband has not reason to cheat on his wife, because they have no reason to fight.

They don't actually fight, IIRC. They just have a well mannered argument over literally nothing.

The whole movie has no base to stand on.

Posted by: FabMax at February 8, 2011 12:28 PM

Hear, hear on the love for "The Crush". Ridiculous early 90's movie but before the fall of Alicia Silverstone and the fattening of Cary Elwes. I'm with Adam on the Glenn Close nipple admiration in the header pic even though her has bad rake face.

Posted by: TVConnoisseur at February 8, 2011 4:17 PM

calliope1975 - excellent choice of the Audrey Tautou film. She performs brilliantly in the role, especially in the way the film-makers include more than one view of the relationship.

Posted by: Simon at February 9, 2011 5:20 AM