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Pajiba’s Underappreciated Gems

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Secretary / Agent Bedhead

Underappreciated Gems | March 26, 2008 | Comments (69)


When it comes to compatibility within romantic relationships, I have this theory. True romantic rapport isn’t just about physical attraction, like-mindedness, and liking the same type of movies. Of course, those things certainly don’t hurt a relationship, but I think the true essence of affinity is about finding someone who can deal with your particular set of hangups and vice-versa. In other words, a tolerance for each other’s respective crap is all important. Perhaps I should have put that idea more eloquently, but the sentiment stands. And if you haven’t actually watched Secretary, you’ve probably heard that it’s a movie about some really fucked up dude who gets his rocks off by spanking his secretary. If only it were that simple. Don’t get me wrong — there is plenty of spanking going on in this film, but it’s not all about sex. No: This is an odd little love story of a two unusual people whose hangups just happen to effectively cancel out each other’s internal pain and unease. The film’s story, which is loosely based on a short story by Mary Gaitskill, is entirely unrealistic in the sense that any guy who spanks his secretary would probably end up on the nearest federal court docket for a sexual harassment lawsuit. However, the two main characters are so well drawn and skillfully acted, and the screenwriter provides plenty of dark humor and moments of genuine emotion that it’s rather impossible to view the characters as sick deviants or perverts. Instead, Secretary tells the tale of love blossoming between two people that just happen to be into sadomasochism.

Lee Holloway (Maggie Gyllenhaal) has a history of self-mutilation; since the age of seven, she’s been cutting herself to externalize her internal pain wrought by witnessing the alcoholism of her father, Burt (Stephen McHattie), and enduring her Stepfordesque mother, Joan (Lesley Ann Warren). At the start of Secretary, Lee just ended a stint at a mental institution but, that very evening, she pushes a boiling teakettle against her inner thigh. Shortly thereafter, she answers a classified ad at the law offices of E. Edward Grey, whose shingle contains a very large “Secretary Wanted” sign that lights up during a vacancy. This figurative rotating door for the Secretary position is rather suggestive of a bordello, and, sure enough, when Lee enters the office, she spots the previous Secretary fleeing the premises. At this point, most job appicants would run like hell, but Lee continues down the long hallway. Meanwhile, E. Edward Grey cowers in his office, and it is clear that this guy has some serious tics to his personality. He immediately notices odd things about Lee as well: “There’s something about you. You’re… closed.” To this, Lee responds with audible relief, “I know.” After this bizarre interview, Lee begins her series of trials that Edward uses to test her obedience. Since Edward doesn’t believe in computers, Lee must use a typewriter, and Edward has a nice collection of red ink pens to circle any errors, and he does so at any opportunity. When Lee willingly digs through the dumpster for misplaced files, Edward, in a fit of highly amusing enthusiasm, frantically does pull-ups in his office in an attempt to ward off his excitement.

So, things are going well this point, and Edward’s firmness begins to extend from merely psychological to encompassing the sexual realm. Quite possibly the best scene in the movie arrives when Edward orders Lee to place her hands on his desk and read a letter aloud. When he first spanks her, the expression on Gyllenhaal’s face morphs from one of humiliation and confusion to one of curiosity and pleasure. She continues to read the letter, once … almost twice, until both she and Edward are “spent” and he leans over her. At the end of this powerful sequence, two left hands rest beside each other, and Lee wraps her pinky over Edward’s. This one tiny, mutual expression of intimacy signals that Lee is different from any other Secretary that has entered the offices of E. Edward Grey.

Some critics have taken the far too easy route and generalized Secretary as representative of female oppression and the hands of an evil male. This is a rather unfair characterization because Lee and Edward are merely illustrative of two relatively rational individuals and not the male and female genders as a whole. Lee quickly realizes that she enjoys these spankings as a form of externalizing her internal pain, and she begins to actually seek out these mild punishments by making typographical errors on purpose. Clearly, Lee is not a victim or captive to Edward’s demands, but rather, is actually empowered by this so-called oppression, which actually speaks to her mutual control over Edward. And, like the hothouse flowers that unfold under Edward’s tender care, Lee similarly flourishes under his firm guidance, thereby emancipating herself from the painfully hollow origins of her own self-destruction. At the same time, Lee offers the validation of Edward’s desires, and in doing so, she frees him from the guilt and shame that previously led him to suppress his emotions and sexuality. Their thriving relationship is a welcome contrast to the truly abusive relationship of Lee’s parents. The superseding ability is largely due to the careful pacing of Director Steven Shainberg, so that the blossoming of Lee and gradual softening of Edward both occur at a pace that is believable and authentic.

Secretary is nicely punctuated throughout by Angelo Badalamenti’s score as well as a smattering of Leonard Cohen’s “I’m Your Man.” The film itself is anchored by two bloody wonderful performances by the lead players. Gyllenhaal’s expressive portrayal of Lee gives her character a depth that is slightly lacking in the film’s script, and this performance prevents Lee from appearing as a mere caricature representative of Edward’s sexual desires. Speaking of which, E. Edward Grey must certainly be the role that James Spader has searched for during his entire career. After playing one-dimensional roles for decades — a judgmental, yuppie prick in Pretty In Pink; an impotent pervert with a thing for videotaping women talking about sex in Sex, Lies, and Videotape; and a fetishist whose sex life is revived by his involvement in a fatal car crash in Cronenberg’s Crash — Spader finally inhabits a character that deserves such a fully realized performance. As Edward slowly reveals his layers of fragility, the audience steadily warms to him in a manner that could never be achieved by a less skilled actor. Secretary dwells on some very heavy subject matter, but the successful combination of elements mean that the film never feels depressing. Instead, the result is a romance infused with darkly comic touches, or, if one would prefer, a love story for the cynics who still want to believe.

Agent Bedhead (a.k.a. “Kimberly”) lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at agentbedhead.com.


DVD Releases 03/26/08 | Would You Rather?



Comments

Love this movie. Love. We use typewriters at the office and if Spader were my boss, I would be perpetrating all kinds of typos.

Posted by: coveredinbees at March 26, 2008 1:25 PM

Holy CRAP I love this movie. Its circumstances are odd, but the emotions in it are just so true--the feelings don't feel manufactured. Everyone did a great job, especially James Spader, who is so fantastically twitchy and closed. I just want to pet him.

Posted by: llism at March 26, 2008 1:25 PM

Damn I loved this movie when I first saw it. The first 'technically a love story' movie that I truly believed and enjoyed. Now I have to see it again.

Posted by: Goldie at March 26, 2008 1:26 PM

Long time lurker, infrequent poster, and I get to be at the top of the comment list? Excitement!

I just had to comment - this is one of my favorite movies, for the very reasons put forth in the review: I too believe that compatibility is loving someone because of their quirks. Secretary for me truly embodied that idea; the movie wasn't about S&M, although that didn't hurt... rather it was about finding someone who gets off on and enjoys the same things you do.... And Maggie Gyllenhaal nekked doesn't hurt none, either.

Posted by: La Femme Nikita at March 26, 2008 1:30 PM

I'm so in love with this film. Thank you for your in depth and extremely well written review!

Posted by: jo-anne in vancouver at March 26, 2008 1:34 PM

This movie really surprised me by how sweet it was. When so many rom-coms get it wrong, it's interesting to see a movie about sados get it right.

Posted by: Agente Provocatrice at March 26, 2008 1:35 PM

"Secretary tells the tale of love blossoming between two people that just HAPPEN to be into sadomasochism."

Exactly...it really is weird how it never seems odd when the "stuff" starts happening, you almost expected it (since you know what the movie is about) but it just never seemed out of place, and it wasn't creepy...well maybe a little when she is double clicking her mouse in the stall over mashed potatoes

Posted by: justcause at March 26, 2008 1:36 PM

I love Spader. He is such a great actor and can pull off quirky so well.

I have yet to see this, but it sounds good.

Posted by: Melody at March 26, 2008 1:36 PM

This movie is HOT! I want a spanking just thinking about it.
Highly recommended to people who want to be surprised by a sexy movie that's just a bit different.

Posted by: numchuck at March 26, 2008 1:38 PM

Best damn movie. I remember watching it with a guy friend and we were both like, "um...is it weird that I find this sexy?" Maggie Gyllenhaal could do no wrong after I saw this, and my love for Spader was completely renewed.

Posted by: lucy at March 26, 2008 1:43 PM

"Some critics have taken the far too easy route and generalized Secretary as representative of female oppression and the hands of an evil male."

Whenever there's talk about this amazing film amongst my friends, we tend to get in a discussion about this thought. I, like you, take the route that Lee and Edward aren't generalizations of women and men, respectively. They're just the square pegs that, for most of their lives, have tried to fit in round holes. Once they found each other, they had the ability to show their true selves, and embrace them. Great review, greater movie.

Posted by: jonr at March 26, 2008 1:50 PM

I love this movie, and it's interesting what Bedhead said about the roles of domination and submission...letting someone control you is just as powerful as being the one in control, so there was never a time where I felt that Lee was being abused beyond what she desired.

I haven't seen Secretary in a loooong time, I'll need to watch it again as soon as I release my man-bitch from his chains. He's been hogging the remote.

Posted by: Julie at March 26, 2008 1:50 PM

this is the role that Spader uses for the character he plays in Boston Legal. easily one of the better movies i have watched over the years.

Posted by: pitbul at March 26, 2008 1:51 PM

I stumbled on this movie a year or so ago, watched it, and immediately loved it. Agente P. definitely gets it right--it's kind of ridiculous how cute this movie is, and how much more appealing it is than so many of the romcoms out there about more normal people. If more love stories were crafted with such care and understanding, I would be a lot more willing to see them, rather then immediately passing on them in favor of action movies.

Posted by: kalexal at March 26, 2008 1:52 PM

I was surprised at how much I love this movie when I first saw it, and how much it's stayed with me since. I particularly love the last shot, the closeup on Lee's face: it's always felt to me like, "You will never know all my secrets." Powerful stuff.

Posted by: minorblue at March 26, 2008 1:57 PM

yeah my girl made me watch this the other day afters years of gushing over it. really really smart, funny and occasionally disturbing (but disturbing in a way that develops the narrative, and defines the leads). this movie could have been terrible in so many ways, but there is not a thing lacking. great choice.

Posted by: bg at March 26, 2008 1:59 PM

Secretary confuses me at times, like exactly when the characters fall in love w/ each other. It's clear they both have a love for S&M, but Lee's emotions regarding love are bit more clear, while Edward's aren't. At least not to me.

But it is a sweet film, and Maggie G gives a great performance.

Posted by: Brie at March 26, 2008 2:00 PM

My ma LOVES this movie and kept telling me to see all throughout my earlier teen years. I finally saw it about six months ago and absolutely loved it.

I can actually thank my ma, strangely enough, for turning me on to a lot of movies. When I was 12, she watched American Beauty with me and she was raving about Forty Year Old Virgin months before I saw it.

Posted by: Saint Saturn Sunshine at March 26, 2008 2:09 PM

Semi-off topic: Whenever a film lands on the Underappreciated Gem list I always scratch my head for a moment, because I'm thinking to myself, "Underappreciated?? I effing LOVE that movie! I argued the virtues of that movie with my mom (sister, friend, coworker) for two freaking hours; how could I possibly appreciate it any more than I do??"

And then I kick myself remembering that those arguments are indicative that not everyone appreciates these films properly, hence their appearance on the list.

Posted by: Mella at March 26, 2008 2:15 PM

Man, I remember buying this movie on dvd when it came out with a mate of mine ho did already seen it, she advised me not to, said it's all sorts of weird. I bought it anyhow and thought it was the strangest movie I had ever seen I declared but then I thought about some more and came to the same conclusions as you have. It's definitely not the best movie i have seen but it got me thinking and appreciated the fact that it was quite novel from the rest.

You couldnt have put it better Agent.

Posted by: Jean at March 26, 2008 2:16 PM

"Some critics have taken the far too easy route and generalized Secretary as representative of female oppression and the hands of an evil male. This is a rather unfair characterization because Lee and Edward are merely illustrative of two relatively rational individuals and not the male and female genders as a whole."

I do love this movie, and you make a good point, but it's important to remember that we don't live in a vacuum, we're part of a culture that presents us with very solid ideas about gender. It's not an accident that it's the woman who's getting spanked in this film, and the man is the one suffering from emotional impotence. I wonder, would people love this movie so much if the roles were reversed? I would, but I think that exploring this kind of subject in that way would make a lot of people uncomfortable.

Posted by: Ginger at March 26, 2008 2:37 PM

I remember when this movie first came out and all the hubbub about how feminists were 'shocked and disturbed' by the graphic nature of the film. I heard debates and reviews and yada yada. I never bothered watching it. That is, until a few years later I bought it on iTunes on a boring Thursday night.
Oh. My. God. I loved this movie. I still watch it from time to time. It is heart wrenching and beautiful and it shows a fantastic example of real love and acceptance (rather then the rom-com norm of the woman suddenly realizing 'oh my god!' she loves him!). Anyway I'm glad you reviewed this. It deserved such praise.

Posted by: Vivian at March 26, 2008 2:45 PM

Excellent review. You describe the movie much better than I have been able to.

Posted by: Jennifer at March 26, 2008 2:55 PM

Well said, Bedhead. Spot on.

Posted by: Susquehana at March 26, 2008 3:13 PM

Love, love, love this film beyond words. I too found that the submissive/dominant relationship seemed completely natural between the characters and I find the entire thing rather sweet. Naturally I assumed that everyone else I knew would feel the same way. Not so much. I came to the exact same realisation as Mella. Just because I appreciate it doesn't mean the rest of the world does.

I really don't feel that the overall vibe is one of oppression and I certainly don't feel that the spirit of the film is unfeminist - in the same way that I don't feel that any dom/sub relationship is unfeminist if the submissive half just so happens to be the woman in the partnership (it's a matter of choice) - it's a love story told about people marginalised by society for the kinks they possess, people who manage to find each other and make something work by being weird and freaky in a world that by and large turns its back on anything that isn't strictly vanilla.

If the genders were reversed as Ginger suggested then I think the film would have been instantly even more fetishised - a woman dominating a man is something even more taboo than the reverse, and we know what our mainstream media does to taboos... It would be interesting to explore the reverse - especially if the characters concerned were as well drawn as the pair that feature in Secretary. But, as you said, we don't exist in a vacuum and I feel that it would be a lot harder to draw a balanced character portrait in that situation because of our preconceived notions on gender.

For me the part of the movie that really resounds is Lee's response when Edward tries to move their relationship back into the realms of the "professional" - the confusion and almost betrayal on her part as she tries again and again to get a response out of him speak volumes about the pain and frustration that you can feel only when someone you love is doing their very best to deny who they really are and in doing so stops being the person you fell for.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at March 26, 2008 3:30 PM

I agree that this movie shouldn't be reduced to mere gender roles. She was never his victim, it was a love story under somewhat unusual circumstances. And if the roles were reversed, how easy would it be to classify her as the bitch on wheels stereotype or some mere dominatrix fantasy caricature of a woman? It was about the individuals, and how their particular needs and quirks completed the other. And it was amazingly done. As much as I love Spader, his work on BL has devolved into parody, he is almost always sexualized in his roles, but I prefer this more subtle version of Alan Shore.

Posted by: MG at March 26, 2008 3:34 PM

This film is a perfect choice for the Underappreciated Gem category.

I hate most romances, rom-coms and rom-dramas both, but I lerrrrve this one, from the subject matter, to its deft handling by the script and director, to the performances.

Added bonus of a delicious and erotic performance by James Spader just prior to his reaching middle age and spreading in all directions like kudzu. The man's face is nearly the size of a billboard nowadays...

...now I'm depressed.

Posted by: Jerce at March 26, 2008 3:55 PM

This movie is totally in harmony with my oddly pessimistic (since I'm otherwise very much an optimist) view on relationships: Everyone in the world is fucked up, you just have to find someone who's fucked up in a way that doesn't bother you.

That-and the fact that I have a tendency to go in for the spanking myself--is why I love this movie.

Posted by: munkymack at March 26, 2008 4:00 PM

As always, well said, Alextheodd!

Maybe it was just me, but I got the strong impression that even though Lee was the submissive, in many ways she was the stronger partner of the relationship. She was more honest, more fearless, more self-aware and self-accepting. She understood and accepted the nature of/potential for the relationship long before her repressed, fearful lover did. By about halfway through, she seemed to me to be the one clutching the reigns, even if she was the one taking the spankings. And frankly, I loved the hell out of that. Does that make any sense to anyone else out there?

Anyway, I went into seeing this expecting little more than a sexy movie. I was so wrong. It's easily one of the smartest, most daring, and yet most tender and truthful love stories out there.

Posted by: ShinyKate at March 26, 2008 4:02 PM

SUCH a good movie.

Posted by: Kim at March 26, 2008 4:04 PM

* SPOILER ALERT*


Regardless of the strengths of this movie, was anyone else bothered by how Lee's fiance was cast aside so abruptly near the end of the film? He doesn't seem like an evil character in any way -- his only crime is not being able to satisfy Lee sexually (i.e. by following her lead in playing sub-dom games). To have Lee humiliate him and his family ON HIS WEDDING DAY by leaving him at the altar seems extraordinarily cruel, or thoughtless on Lee's part at the very least. If the fiance's role is ultimately to be rejected anyway, then why do the film-makers cast him as such a nice guy?

Posted by: spoobnooble at March 26, 2008 4:41 PM

I wanted to see it as soon as i read about it, my boyfriend at the time not so enthusiastic. After I saw it I'd get so frustrated when no one understood when I said it was the sweetest, most realistic, love story put to film in a long time. "That S/M movie?!?!? You're so weird..."
Add into a great illustration of what cutters think and feel it's an all over win/win. Conversation about this one helped me decide that not all men are sexually repressed douche bags and am now happily engaged.

Posted by: emotionalsherpa at March 26, 2008 4:48 PM

spoobnooble:
Spoiler Alert-

It was not a nice thing to do. It was selfish and mean and completely unlike the faint outline of a person Lee started out as. She had grown up and learned to seize what she wanted, even if that didn't seem right to us. I think it was just an underline to the point of the whole movie: All's fair in love.

And I mean, you saw that look she gave you in the last scene! Do you really think she gives a chit?

I love/own this movie. "Your thingies."

Posted by: that bees chick at March 26, 2008 4:49 PM

that bees chick
It was not a nice thing to do. It was selfish and mean and completely unlike the faint outline of a person Lee started out as. She had grown up and learned to seize what she wanted, even if that didn't seem right to us. I think it was just an underline to the point of the whole movie: All's fair in love.

And I mean, you saw that look she gave you in the last scene! Do you really think she gives a chit?

--

Thanks for the input. I suppose her actions are in line with her development as a character. Although speaking for myself, it does take me out of the picture because I like Lee a little less by the end of things.

Posted by: spoobnooble at March 26, 2008 4:54 PM

Fabulous movie. Spader and MG at their absolute best. She is so sweetly vulnerable and he's just gorgeous as always. I love how she calls him "Mr. Grey", too. I just love movies about two messes who find each other and make it work.

Posted by: samantha t at March 26, 2008 5:10 PM

I'm relieved to read about how many people love this movie. I saw it and loved it, as did my boyfriend, but afterwards, we both looked at each other and said, "We can never recommend this to anyone." It's such a lovely movie (meanness to fiance aside), but people are so put off by the S&M thing that they miss the beautiful love story.

Posted by: azeeeeb at March 26, 2008 5:17 PM

would it be too revealing to add that this movie sparked an interesting and welcome addition to my husband's and my sex life?

well, uh, yeah, I LIKED this movie.

Posted by: Theresa at March 26, 2008 5:51 PM

I can't believe I've never heard of this. I am putting it at the top of my Netflix queue right now.

Great review. :-)

Posted by: jvon at March 26, 2008 6:04 PM

i frigging love this movie, i remember watching it with a friend who enjoyed it but just didnt get it, while i sat there rapt and loving how perfectly it captured everything.
alas, i have it not on DVD...i shall find it somewhere

Posted by: nadine at March 26, 2008 6:31 PM

i just thought, heh, can you imagine Jake's face after the official screening of this?
I mean the parents sure but poor Jake...

Posted by: nadine at March 26, 2008 6:34 PM

this is movie is so great. I think it was the beginning of my Maggie Gyllenhaal infatuation.

PS We have the same birthdays and it makes me feel special.

Posted by: Soto at March 26, 2008 7:12 PM

Ms. Bedhead, you have managed to perfectly describe exactly why I love this movie. I've tried to get most of my friends to watch it, but the majority of them thought it too weird. I told one of my friends who had watched that I thought it was the most romantic movie I'd ever seen, and he looked at me like I was mental. Fuck 'em, they don't know what they're missing out on.
This movie and Stargate are what made me fall in love with James Spader. He can dictate a letter to me ANY DAY.

Posted by: Jess at March 26, 2008 7:21 PM

I love this movie!!!! The first time I saw it was some 3 or 4 years ago. My brother in law made me watch it one night, he with the look of rapture on his face, me not knowing what to expect. I loved it by the time we got to the dumpster. Of course my bro in law told me it reminded him of me and my hubby but without S & M. Two outsiders somehow finding each other and working. Love Love Love

Posted by: nashi at March 26, 2008 8:57 PM

I have had a mad, wet-panties crush on James Spader from the moment I laid eyes on him (Pretty in Pink). Secretary was too good for words. There just are no words. I can only sigh over and over.

Posted by: Cindy at March 26, 2008 9:46 PM

Has anyone else seen "The Music of Chance"?

Posted by: Cindy at March 26, 2008 9:54 PM

I am with (well, almost) everybody else... this has been in my top five favorite films since I saw it for the first time. Nobody I have raved about it to has gotten it.

Cheers to Agent Bedhead for getting it, and for explaining it so eloquently.

Posted by: marge at March 26, 2008 10:02 PM

Dead-on review. I love this movie (hard!). I think it's fundamentally about hope - that even if one has issues, there's someone out there. Quite a gem in a horrid field of soul-less rom-coms... which I think are way more anti-feminist (27 Dresses - BLECH). So there's S&M in this movie, so what? Hope, and love, now that's empowering.

Posted by: excusenothing at March 26, 2008 10:10 PM

I'm so in love with this film. Thank you for your in depth and extremely well written review!

imafilthyspamwhore.c o m - Date someone who really understands the word 'commitment'

Posted by: nicole at March 26, 2008 11:46 PM

Fantastic review of one of my favorite movies of all time. It's always difficult for me to put into words my feelings about the film, and how truly romantic and inspiring I find it to be, but in the future I can simply link to this and be done.

Posted by: Roads at March 26, 2008 11:51 PM

That Gyllenhaal bitch is a spicy lil number. As long as I've got a face, she will always have a place to sit.

Posted by: Pookie at March 27, 2008 3:23 AM

spoobnooble and beeschick:

I agree with your assessment, but to me the fiancé is meant mainly as a dig at conventional romance plots, and so his rejection did not bother me that much (even though in real life it would be an atrocious thing to do).

See, he's the guy she's supposed to fall for, and in a more conventional story would fall for. He's age-appropriate. He's dressed and coiffed in a way that screams "I'm quirky just like you!" He's sweet and kind and there's nothing wrong with him--except for the fact that he's totally wrong for her.

The whole left-him-at-the-altar thing is also mitigated a bit by the scene with his parents, who are shown to be mainly concerned with getting the wedding dress cleand and returned...

Posted by: Jerce at March 27, 2008 9:25 AM

Sigh. I love this movie.

..I just feel guilty watching it on the train on the way to work.

Posted by: Mara at March 27, 2008 9:32 AM

This is one of my favorite movies. I remember almost feeling a little guilty about wanting to see it, but was so glad I did. It turned out to be so much more than I expected. Beautiful, tender, funny, clever, and unbelievably sexy. Now it is proudly displayed in my DVD collection. Great choice!

Posted by: starkravingsane at March 27, 2008 11:32 AM

Cindy - ha ha ha! Me, too. My husband is well aware of my abiding love for the Spade. Andy was a fool to go for Blaine!

Posted by: samantha t at March 27, 2008 11:48 AM

This is, hands down, one of my favorite movies EVER. Thanks for this thoughtful and spot on review.

Posted by: Dana at March 27, 2008 1:43 PM

What's freaky is that I was just about to rent this movie. Nice review!

Posted by: Jamila at March 27, 2008 1:47 PM

Such a lovely review for a great movie.

I don't believe for a second that you have a black heart! Not with a review like this!

Posted by: Esperanza at March 27, 2008 2:29 PM

Spader can stain the back of my blouse any time. I haven't seen this movie in years but I LOVED it. It does feel like a dirty little secret though. I wouldn't want to see it on a first date.... Awkward!

Posted by: Lindsey at March 27, 2008 2:42 PM

i am a person who identifies myself as sexually submissive. i've been involved in the bdsm world for 5 years (i'm 25). this is one of the only times that i've not watched the dominant/submissive nature and relationships [portrayed in a film or on tv] in a negative light. i'm just thankful for the humanity in all of it.


in terms of these kinds of relationships, proclivities, and desires....you either get it, or you don't. you can't change anyone's mind about it. who cares about all of those feminist groups or any other type of group that protested this movie. obviously they don't get it. domination and submission is a POWER EXCHANGE. the submissive is powerful in their own way.

all my kinky people make the world go 'round

Posted by: jessie-marie at March 27, 2008 4:48 PM

This movie rocks.

Posted by: Kevin Longrie at March 27, 2008 5:34 PM

spoobnooble: I've watched the movie several times and I've never gotten the impression that it was their wedding day, just that she was trying on his mother's wedding dress to see what alterations needed to be made. Maybe I need to rewatch...?

In any case, it's one of my favourite movies. In some ways it reminds me of the relationship between me and my fiance. I showed him the movie fairly early on as a litmus test, and he loved it.

Really great review. Explains what's beautiful about the movie perfectly.

Posted by: ImpossibleDelilah at March 27, 2008 7:01 PM

I'll have to go with the fairly-acknowledged cliché this time: I love this film so much, and nobody seems to understand why. So thanks for, well, understanding.

Actually, there's nothing I can say that the great Eloquents before me haven't said yet. The whole "Secretary tells the tale of love blossoming between two people that just happen to be into sadomasochism" perfectly sums up my perception of the movie from moment one, in a way few others have struck me (Mulholland Dr. and Leaving Las Vegas come to mind -- how romcoms still exist after these is beyond me).

I wouldn't go into that gender discussion, tho. I just believe critics who fell for that just didn't get anything from the movie to begin with, and should be just disconsidered from any reasonable discussion.

Posted by: gargumma at March 27, 2008 8:44 PM

Just to add something more personal and a little controversial: I honestly don't think that the sentence "The film's story is entirely unrealistic in the sense that(...)" should be taken as so truthful. Isn't this movie about love? And, from what I remember, Spade's character apparently refrains from showing his most obvious quirks until they become unbearable to him. The way I see it, he only lets it loose when he subtly "gets" there's some sense of mutual recognition involved between the two of them. He feels pretty insecure throughout their first attempts, anyway, just like in any relationship.

Sometimes, it just happens that little weirdo bumps into little weirda...

Posted by: gargumma at March 27, 2008 8:55 PM

By about halfway through, she seemed to me to be the one clutching the reigns, even if she was the one taking the spankings. And frankly, I loved the hell out of that. Does that make any sense to anyone else out there?

ShinyKate,

I totally get what you're saying there. In fact, before I saw this movie I remember the first real introduction I had to the S&M lifestyle was through an episode of CSI. The Mistress of the bordello explains to Grissam (sp?) that in a sub/Dom role the submissive is actually the one in control. S/he has control over when enough is enough or too much is too much. Even though in this movie Spader is the spanker, MG could be the one to say no at any point; in that way, he's at her mercy.

In that way, as a feminist myself, I became more sensitive to the idea that it's not oppressive if the woman (or man) is choosing to be at the bum end of a spanking... in fact, according to the mistress' ideas it's actually more empowering.

Ahem, this may seem like I know a lot about the culture, but I saw the episode not too long before I saw the movie on the Oxygen (!) Network. *coughs* This has nothing to do with my personal life just my stupid abundance of knowledge of random facts.

Speaking of which, Dr. Seuss was the first person to coin the word "nerd." You can decide for yourself if that has any application in this situation.

Posted by: Kayanne at March 27, 2008 11:39 PM

FYI: I had a boss who really, really, really insisted that I go see this movie. How muthafuckin' creepy is THAT?

Posted by: samantha t at March 28, 2008 10:44 AM

I always thought that this movie, in its own quirky kind of way, was so sweet and romantic. It was also very empowering for women. As the film progresses, its obvious that Lee is growing into herself with confidence and that she's truly the one in control. Anyone who said that it was degrading to women didn't get it. Definately one of my favorites! I especially loved one of the last scenes, where Edward is bathing Lee ever so gently, then lays her on a bed of grass - all this to Lizzy West's "Chariots Rise" - awesome touch!

Posted by: Liz at March 28, 2008 11:42 AM

I have no attachment to the S&M angle of this movie, like the reviewer I saw this movie and cared far more for the way the two characters find each other, overcome blocks to their own shame at their particular "compatibility", and have their own strangely touching honeymoon.

I think movies that challenge visually/violently can be either affirming or degrading. Where someting like "Welcome to the Doll House" or "Pulp Fiction" feels like innards tossed around a slaughterhouse just to see the spatter, I place this movie more alongside "Boogie Nights", which to me means a collection of impertfect characters interacting imperfectly but with their own sets of good intentions.

The scene where Lee discards the boyfriend and locks herself to the desk is one of the purest few minutes I have ever seen in a movie. Her intention to break through and force Mr. Grey to accept that their interactions were consenual and beneficial, just that she loved him, is incredibly more powerful to me than Keira Knightly dragging her stick self over a beach to whatever awaits her (a reuben?). I rank it up there in acting moments right up there with Heath Ledger plaintively telling Billy Bob Thornton, "Well, I always loved you," and shooting himself in the head in Monster's Ball.

I have no qualms whatever with the dispatch of the tool of a boyfriend. It's silly and irrelevant. The whole point of the movie is that Lee does not fit sexually into the box she's been forced to occupy. You would rather the movie where she marries the wrong person and a lifetime of heartache results? I already saw that one on TV- it was called the Governor Greevey Story

Posted by: stacy d at March 30, 2008 10:06 AM

OK, there were about 20 choice minutes in the middle of the movie where the characters enjoy their inter-office romp, but aside from that I hated it as did my both friends watching it with me. A running bride scene??? Come on people. L-A-M-E. And while I like that Maggie Gyllenhaal isn't the ordinary movie beauty that doesn't mean i want to see her nekkid- it's too much like watching down's syndrome porn. And the secret cutting subplot? That was the biggest turn off of all(admittedly because I was fresh out of college where all the cutter advertised their "secret" by wearing tank tops). It also featured some of Angelo Badalamenti's worst music ever, like he was scoring a made-for-tv movie. This movie was a HUGE disappointment for me.

Posted by: snarla at March 31, 2008 12:50 PM

I loved this movie! Watch it with someone you're curious about and it can be WONDERFULLY enlightening about their preferences. My new crush and I already have all sorts of interesting plans we didn't realize the other was game for. Tender without being moralistic, and naughty without being depraved. Now, if I can just find some of those stockings with the seam up the back, I'll be ready to 'assume the position.'

Posted by: bad bookworm at May 3, 2008 12:58 PM