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Once More, Without Feeling


"Vampire Diaries" / Sarah Carlson

TV Reviews | September 17, 2009 | Comments (31)


I can’t tell you what it says about our culture that one of the hottest entertainment trends is vampires, but the zeitgeist is churning out another sampling with “The Vampire Diaries.” A CW offering based on a series of young adult novels, “Diaries” provides more opportunities for beautiful and misunderstood women to bask in the deadly gaze of the undead. The TV show isn’t bad, and the pilot actually boasts a thrilling cold open in which a couple is killed off by an unseen vampire within seconds. “Diaries” is actually mildly entertaining. But it’s another angst-ridden teen tale set to angsty pop music in a gloomy and cloudy small town with a high school attended by a vampire — in broad daylight, a trick he pulls off thanks to a special ring. (Not as cool as how his eviler brother uses a crow and rolling fog to alert humans to his presence.) Haven’t we seen this all before with a certain Edward and Bella, and wasn’t that horrible enough? Buffy in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” mingled with vamps because it was her duty to kill them; “True Blood’s” Sookie mingles with them and other supernaturals because she is supernatural, and once the underworld learns of her gifts, there’s no turning back. Reasons you may find ridiculous, but reasons nonetheless. “Diaries” is another teenage girl who will fall in love with the mysterious pale dude in her history class. Why? No reason, really, but the story is going to be told anyway.

Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev) and her younger brother, Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen), are recent orphans, braving the first days of school in the fall with their parents’ spring deaths still fresh. Friends awkwardly ask how they’re doing; Elena’s ex, Matt, stares longingly at her by the lockers but won’t say hi; their young aunt is struggling to play parent. Both are realizing that while their world is still in shambles, everyone else’s has moved on. No more free rides, as one impossibly cruel teacher says to Elena in front of her history class. Elena shares her feelings with her diary while Jeremy turns to drugs and older women, specifically Vicki, Matt’s sister. They trudge through the gloom to school, apparently located in an alternate Virginia, where it’s gray and cool in August and not muggy as hell. Elena soon bumps into the hot new guy, Stefan Salvator (Paul Wesley), and she bumps into him several more times during the next few days. He keeps appearing suddenly, which she finds a little odd, but what the hell, he’s gorgeous. It’s just a coincidence he shows up in the graveyard as Helena is there to visit her parents’ graves. It’s just a weird quirk that he disappears once he sees she has a cut on her leg and she notices his entire face starts to change — instant dark circles under the eyes. Maybe he’s foreign?

Elena and Stefan are able to spend time together at a party, however, but it’s at that party that a vampire attacks Vicki in the woods, leaving her barely alive and to be found by a distraught Jeremy. It’s not Stefan who has fed on her and the couple from the beginning, but his brother, Damon (Ian Somerhalder), back for a visit to the Salvators hometown after not having spoken to Stefan for decades. He’s got a grudge for some reason, and leaving evidence of a vampire is his way of potentially implicating Stefan in the attacks. Damon also knows what the audience now does, that Elena looks like someone named Katherine, who lived during the Civil War era in the same town. Stefan has a picture of Katherine and has come back to town specifically to meet Elena, though how she and Katherine are connected is unclear. Damon’s plan has worked, though, as Vicki tells Matt that it was a vampire that attacked her at the party, not some strange animal. Perhaps Elena will connect the dots and suspect the mysterious Stefan who freaks out about blood? And if so, what next? Will she fall for the sensitive vampire who also writes in a diary? I’ll be more impressed if she tries to kill him, just to shake things up a bit.

It’s easy to understand the appeal for tweens and teens to the Twilight series — the girl is the sole focus of the guy, a mousy-haired model who is pained by her beauty and existence and will do anything for her. It’s beyond fairy tale; he’s heroic and strong and will kill for her and usually does. That sentiment makes the story compelling for those burning for that kind of desire, but it doesn’t make the story actually good. Twilight pretends to be a chaste teen love story, when it really is a flaming pile of poo that sets the women’s movement back decades by offering up a heroine whose only desire is her long-dead beloved. I’m crossing my fingers they make a fourth movie based on the fourth book of the series; I am so looking forward to seeing a vampire baby nearly kill Bella as it emerges from her body, only to take so much of Bella’s blood that she has to be turned into a vampire, too, a nice little analogy of the heroine literally losing her humanity from giving into her desire. Thanks, Mormon housewife. “True Blood” is far more interesting, and while you can argue against the technical merits of Alan Ball’s TV show, you have to give him and author Charlaine Harris credit for going whole hog with the notion of the supernatural. Not only are vampires real, but so is every other mythological creature you’ve heard about. Sookie is just as in love with her beau, too, but she thrives in her independence and will kick him out in a second when he’s done her wrong. And “Buffy,” well, “Buffy” is awesome. She kills her love when it comes down to it. An increasing scale of feminism in these respective shows almost correlates with how they are received, Twilight being everywhere and “Buffy” still being a genre show. The masses are devouring the poison by the handfuls.

So where does that leave “The Vampire Diaries”? Somewhere in between. It won’t be as graphic or as insane as “Blood,” but it’s a step up from Twilight in action, romance and in that the main actors looking awake while delivering lines. Elena seems a strong enough heroine for the CW’s “Gossip Girl”-watching audience, and at least Stefan doesn’t glitter. I only hope Elena has more of a spine than her vampire-loving predecessors, and I only hope having a vampire show doesn’t become a network requirement akin to having ones about cops and doctors. I love “True Blood,” but it’s unique — there’s honestly nothing on TV like it. “Diaries,” while entertaining, is simply unnecessary. And by today’s TV standards, that makes for a hit.

Sarah Carlson has a front-row seat to the decline of the newspaper industry and lives in Alabama with her overly excitable Welsh Corgi.


Bored To Death - Review | White on Rice Review







Comments

I feel obligated to mention that the LJ Smith books that this show is based on pre-date Twilight by at least ten years, if not fifteen. So, really, it's Twilight that's derivative of them. (Not that you really called them derivative, just that you compared the two. Which I don't argue with at all.)

I never read these, but I ate LJ Smith's books up when I was what they now refer to as a 'tween. They were all about witches and psychics and vampires and shit like that. I loved them. Hell, I think I still have them somewhere. And they're probably worlds better than the series.

Which I totally watched last week and plan on watching again tonight.

Posted by: lizzieborden at September 17, 2009 4:13 PM

I read the Twighlight books, and while I was totally engrossed in them I was SO disturbed by the weird conservative messages. Like the fourth book you mention here, where Bella is pretty much eaten from the inside-out by the unborn baby that she refuses to abort despite everyone else telling her she should. And is it just me, or are kristen stewart and robert pattinson two of the ugliest people in hollywood? she has the eyes of an epileptic and the mouth of a stroke victim and he...what's the phrase...fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down? Yes, that's the phrase.

Posted by: snarla at September 17, 2009 4:22 PM

I can't believe I'm even here, but...

I caught bits of this in between commercial breaks from the football game. It was... not bad, per se, but it was incredibly boring and overwrought.

OK, I guess that makes it bad. But I think your review nailed it. It's a tween oh-woe-is-me-high-school-is-hard drama, under the thin guise of being about vampires. In fact you could shoot much of this show with only a few minor changes, remove the vampire aspects from it completely, and it would be virtually no different.

Posted by: TK at September 17, 2009 4:29 PM

“Twilight” pretends to be a chaste teen love story, when it really is a flaming pile of poo that sets the women’s movement back decades by offering up a heroine whose only desire is her long-dead beloved.

God, I love Sarah Carlson so gd much.

An increasing scale of feminism in these respective shows almost correlates with how they are received, “Twilight” being everywhere and “Buffy” still being a genre show.

This is a really excellent perspective that never occured to me before. I like it, and I'm stealing it as if it were my own.

Posted by: Marra at September 17, 2009 4:33 PM

LJ Smith did that deadly game series right, with some dude who loved a girl and trapped her and her friends in an evil board game? Only you kind of come to like the evil dude as the books go on. Or...er, I did. I still have them at my mum's, I should reread them.

And how come vampires weren't so loved when Angel was on hmmm? I know it had some dodgy moments, but it was still way better than a lot of the crap out there.

Posted by: Carrie at September 17, 2009 4:35 PM

The Forbidden Game! And Julian was the evil dude. Thanks wiki.

Posted by: Carrie at September 17, 2009 4:40 PM

For once I'd like to see one of these shows reverse the gender roles, i.e. have the vamp be a female and the human who falls in love be a male, just to see what the general reaction would be.

Or really freak out the soccer moms and have a same sex relationship. How long would a TV series like that last?

Posted by: John W at September 17, 2009 4:42 PM

Coming to Bravo this Fall:

Bi-Light.

Posted by: laredo at September 17, 2009 4:52 PM

They trudge through the gloom to school, apparently located in an alternate Virginia, where it’s gray and cool in August and not muggy as hell.

We watched this last week, probably never again and I am glad I did not know that tidbit.
Shit like that just drives me crazy. How can anyone run around in jackets and long sleeves in August...in Virginia?
I thought it was placed somewhere in the Pacific Northwest.

I did like the bit about the ring allowing the vampire to walk out in the sun instead him just being able too because he is all sparkly.

Posted by: jules at September 17, 2009 5:32 PM

Why, oh why, do modern vampires hang out in high schools?

As soon as I turned 18, I never wanted to step foot in a high school again. I never wanted to mingle with teenagers again.

Why? Because they're PREVERTS (sic, TM, (c), etc.)! They're damn pedophiles.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 17, 2009 5:50 PM

I don't give a shit about a vampires feelings, they need to slaughter some motherfuckers before I'd do anything other than throw them into a vat of holy water. It's sad when the only vampire movies of this era that seems to stick to the true spirit of the genre were made by freaking Joel Schumacer and Uwe Boll.

(Yeah, Bloodrayne was a cinematic abortion, but at least it wasn't Twilight related.)

Posted by: George at September 17, 2009 5:53 PM

This brings up a great point. I was always amazed as a kid when movies showed people in the woods in the summer wearing jackets. In Oklahoma, if there's leaf ONE on a tree anywhere, it's too hot for long sleeves, let alone a jacket.

Posted by: laredo at September 17, 2009 5:58 PM

I love “True Blood,” but it’s unique — there’s honestly nothing on TV like it.

You are correct. I've never seen a supernatural soap opera.

Posted by: pissant at September 17, 2009 6:07 PM

Then you must've never seen Passions, pissant.

I can’t tell you what it says about our culture that one of the hottest entertainment trends is vampires

Like anyone here can talk, with the rampant, befuddling zombie obsession.

Posted by: SaBrina at September 17, 2009 7:34 PM

Supernatural soap opera?
Apparantly you were not a fan of the sadly-late "Passions" on NBC. Now that was some true hangover theatre, my friend (assuming you're a mid-week drinker or own a dvr, of course.)
Witches, bleeding walls, Timmy the doll who came to life - they had all the good shiz!

Posted by: hersheygirl at September 17, 2009 7:35 PM

"Because they're PREVERTS "

You know, this is an excellent, and oft-overlooked point. Essentially what shows like this and books/movies like Twilight are portraying is a weird kind of supernatural statutory rape. Why would a 500 year old vampire be interested in a 17 year old? I'm 34 and I don't want to be anywhere near teenagers.

That just made the whole concept infinitely more creepy. Pedo-vamps. Gross.

Posted by: TK at September 17, 2009 8:03 PM

Eh? Doesn't anyone remember Dark Shadows?! Ye Ole SciFi channel reran it a couple times.

Posted by: Minty at September 17, 2009 8:11 PM

I'm just happy they used White Lies song Death in it...otherwise meh.

And Minty...Dark Shadows is being made into a movie with Depp and Burton

Posted by: Luke at September 17, 2009 8:45 PM

The more of this teen-angst vampire crap they make; the more I run back to John Carpenter's Vampires -- which isn't that great a film but they at least treat vampires like actual monsters.

Specially that monologue James Woods gives at about the 9th minute: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq9kiwcEA8Q&feature=related

I can't wait for the monster to be rescued.

Posted by: Fredo at September 18, 2009 12:54 AM

The guy only went back to highschool to meet Elena, who is Catherine's reincarnation I would guess. His brother said he can't get her back no matter how many times he tries so I'm guessing every generation he finds a new version and manages to get her killed, only to wait for her to re-spawn so he can start all over. Madness is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Just leave the girl alone, cancel the show and save a few bucks in production costs, we're in recession you know. Keep it in your pants and save America.

Posted by: Irina at September 18, 2009 3:22 AM

I did like the bit about the ring allowing the vampire to walk out in the sun

Didn't Spike have one of those for about five minutes, before Buffy kicked his lily-white arse and took it away?
(Who am I kidding - I know he did, it was called the Gem of Amarra. I know far too much Buffy trivia...)

Anyway, Vampire Diaries. I like Boone, but it turns out I like him better with stubble (distracts one from his crazy long neck). And the main guy has The Chin That Ate Cleveland. So unless some good, nasty shit happens fast, they've lost me, because I'll only watch boring or bad shows if the men are uber-hawt. Me=shallow.

Posted by: Tarn at September 18, 2009 4:08 AM

I'm sure I've read somewhere that the psychological issue explored by the vampire genre is fear of sex (because its all about the dangers of penetration and exchange of bodily fluids). So the current vampire phenomenon might reflect a general increase in fear of sex/Christian values in modern America?

FYI, apparently the psychological issue with zombies is fear of modern society - vast numbers of shambling, interchangeable, mindless attackers, out to eat your brain...

Posted by: saartjie at September 18, 2009 5:49 AM

So the current vampire phenomenon might reflect a general increase in fear of sex/Christian values in modern America?

But the way vampires are portrayed now as apposed to the past would indicate that American is starting to love sex. We have moved from them being horrible creates of the underworld who want to penetrate you and drain you of your bodily fluid, to angst ridden vampires who just need a hot girl to love them.

Speaking of, I found two vampire shows that had the oft amusing angst, but without the teen drama crap. Moonlight featured a vamp who felt guilty about being a vamp (got his blood at the blood bank) and made his living as a PI. I just love the premise. A vampire private investigator.

The other great show is Being Human, which is a British show about a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost. Aside from the ghost, who is bound to the apartment they all share, the characters are trying to blend into the human world. And they do this by working at a hospital as orderlies. It's all about the night shifts and the long, windowless corridors. Thankfully this show is still on, so check it out folks.

Posted by: Morgan Lefai at September 18, 2009 8:11 AM

Morgan,
vampire PI is a good premise, though Angel did it first. I enjoyed Moonlight, but sadly the studio didn't keep it going.
Being Human is pretty good, isn't it? If you keep watching, you'll see that Annie can actually leave the house, which is handy. And the vampire storyline gets rather dark, which I liked.

Posted by: Tarn at September 18, 2009 9:11 AM

For a supernatural soap opera see Dark Shadows. I've seen a few of the episodes from the 60's, but as a kid I loved the remake in the 90's. They show it on Chillers. I forgot how good it was. Barnabus Collins is a man's vampire, none of that glittery crap. When the CW was the WB they made a pilot for a new Dark Shadows but it never went through. Johnny Depp was also supposed to star in a movie version as Barnabus. I haven't heard anything else about that.

Posted by: Dinlge Berry at September 18, 2009 9:53 AM

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Posted by: MJ at September 18, 2009 12:19 PM

What, no love for Forever Night? Late 80's/early 90's show about a vampire cop working the night shift. Nick Night was working that shit long before Angel and Moonlight.

Posted by: fey at September 18, 2009 12:30 PM

Vampire diaries came out before Twilight did by many years, and was late coming to TV. Many adults like the 'vampire' theme, and Vampire Diaries has become a great show, along with Melrose Place, which is also on the CW. But, if you want to see some reality, I suggest The Hills on mtv, tuesdays. And theres only been two episodes so far so you'll be able to catch up. But, don't hate on our generation's 'vampire fest'. It'll only last a little while so appreciate it while it lasts. Laterr bitches.

Posted by: Bitch is back at October 9, 2009 12:17 PM

Yes, I am truly enjoying the Vampire Diaries series, however, I'm extremely disappointed that it really does not follow the books at all (very very loosely). I've read the books and thought they were very good, especially for being written over ten years ago. I will be completely honest and say that I think the series might have been better if the books had been followed more closely. Just my opinion (please respect it & I will respect yours).

Posted by: Brandella at October 9, 2009 10:26 PM

Okay. Everyone keeps mentioning Angel as though it was the second coming and everyone ignored it. Buffy was the second coming. Angel was it's love child. And while Angel was good, at times, Joss had gotten pretty bored with it (as it was obvious) and it was the best thing for it to be canceled.)

NOW, Twilight is awful. I've never been for a book burning until I read Twilight. The Vampire Diaries book series was one of my favorite when I was growing up and it sure wasn't anything like twilight. This show is nothing like Twilight. It's got a lot less of the anti-feminism messages and a lot more of a super-natural angle. It also appeals to a maturer audience than Twilight does. I enjoyed it, and it will probably be sticking around for a while.

Btw, go DOLLHOUSE.

Posted by: Tuna at October 11, 2009 11:47 PM

Twilight is a great series for adults and teens alike. I know that most people only like vampire books because they want action, but a little romance is good sometimes. I LOVE Twilight and Vampire Diaries, even though they are slightly different. But, True Blood, Buffy, and Angel suck!!! That's all I have to say on the subject. Vampire Diaries would be better if it followed the books, but I still love it.
-Laterr, B!0TCH

Posted by: Bitch is Back at October 13, 2009 12:34 PM





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