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Another Salvo from the Anti-Reptilian Propagandists


"V" / Steven Lloyd Wilson

TV Reviews | November 10, 2009 | Comments (37)


Even as a fan of science fiction, I often am bored by sci-fi television pilots, sometimes entertained, occasionally enthralled, but only in the rarest of cases actively angered.

When the Visitors arrive, our aircraft come tumbling out of the skies, at least one pilot dead in downtown Manhattan. They park themselves over our cities, in our space, flip on gigantic big screens and have a mild mannered woman softly tell us that they are the Visitors, that they once thought they were alone, but now are here to embrace us lovingly, heal all of our diseases, grant us wonderful technology. The citizens of Earth applaud them by the millions, cheering in the streets. Oh, please. New Yorkers boo their own sports teams as if greeting child molesters on parole, and this show posits that their response to the equivalent of interstellar spam would be “Why yes, Mr. Former Nigerian Space Minister, here’s my bank account number.”

The show’s writing is simply lazy, characters’ actions and motivations taking the clear back seat to whatever the writers have already decided should happen next. Characters systematically and improbably stumble across whatever they need in order to bumble their way to the next set piece. Oh look, a trap door that leads to a dead guy who leads to dead guy’s house which has his cell phone which just so happens to have the extra super secret meeting place in the last text message. Oh look, a guy was fatally wounded but just happened to bring super secret photos of the infiltrator visitors to a sympathetic priest who just happens to show them to the only person in the entire government who also has seen pictures of them. It all culminates in a patented orgy of nonsensical action. Fancy CGI death robot shoots twenty people at once and then apparently runs out of bullets because bad guys run in with knives. Knives? Fucking knives. Who knew they didn’t have shotguns on Lizard Prime?

The main characters are presented as a series of cliches from which they never evolve. The tough as nails woman cop ditched by an asshole ex. The rich guy tittering about the perfect engagement ring whilst dealing with a secret past. Oh gee, will his girlfriend suspect he’s having an affair and then find the ring? You betcha. The reporter faced with an ethical dilemma once he gets the big interview by telling the other mean reporters to be nice to the pretty alien lady. The doubting priest who goes against the church and struggles with his faith and whether to grow a pair. The annoying upper middle class teenage punk channeling Ryder Strong from “Boy Meets World,” shitty hair and oversized leather jacket included. Crazy right wing splinter group who actually are totally sane and absolutely right? Of course! Nobody’s persecuted like right wing conspiracy nuts who meet in warehouses at midnight. And evil aliens? Are there ever any other kind? You know what an original story might be? Peaceful aliens show up, try to help us out and eventually become disgusted by the entire degenerate lot of us and go back to screwing their brains out amongst the nebulae. The only suspense in “V” is as to when exactly the reptilian buggers will start eating babies.

There is absolutely no question from the first moment of the show that the Visitors are unequivocally evil. Sure, everybody in the audience already knows that fact since this is a reboot, but making it instantly obvious on screen while simultaneously having 99% of the fictional people on Earth buy their act is either patently unbelievable or the most cynical statement of human gullibility since the success of the Pet Rock. Every institution, every government, and the bulk of the population snap right into line without question. It can be inferred that this is because the Visitors have infiltrated leadership positions with their fancy skin suits, in addition to being friendly and smoking hot. Which makes it all okay, because if the president and the pope say that polka is cool, goddamned if all the teenagers don’t go buy accordions.

Yes, we get it, people are sheep. We follow idiots and do stupid things. But what tempers this capacity for evil is our complete inability to get along or trust others, which is something that “V” completely misses. People are complicated, and they construct institutions that are not monoliths no matter how they look in aggregate. Institutions are the sum of the interactions of millions upon millions of people making their own decisions for their own perceived gain. This fundamental flaw in the human character is also what makes us great, it’s the source of the million cracks at the base of any attempt at communism, the source of the million attempts at greatness in a free society. “V” exhibits an almost pathological contempt for the capability of human beings to think for themselves, setting up a simplistic strawman of communism in order to justify a fundamentally fascist conclusion. Good stories reflect the nuances of humanity. They don’t gloss everything to the fine shine of a dialectic.

On the very day that Congress argues over health care reform, the writers toss in an offhand jibe at “universal health care” as part of an alien conspiracy to destroy the human race. It was not offered humorously, it was cold and cynical description, connecting fictional dots to actual events. When a story does this with aplomb and intelligence, it makes that story transcendent, makes it mean far more than the literal nuts and bolts of its plot. It becomes about an idea instead of about things. When it is done badly, it derives from one of two sources: either the writer is a blatant propagandist, an incompetent storyteller, or both. That moment was the spark of my anger, but it wasn’t simply a joke falling flat, the meme ran throughout the entire episode. A charismatic leader, promises of change, youth rallying to a cause, we even got a rant about “spreading hope.” And in the end, the only people who can possibly save us from misguided youth and a presumably brainwashed government are a religious man, a rich man, a woman with a gun, and right wing conspiracy theorists dismissed as quacks.

Now, I’m sure that the writers of “V” would insist that I am reading too much into their story. They would demur that theirs is a simple story of evil reptile aliens trying to eat us all, not a political allegory. They’re morons or liars. All stories exist within the context of their audience. Whether maliciously contrived by malfeasants or constructed in a vacuum by cultural and political ignoramuses, this story resonates with a specifically horrific and paranoid interpretation of contemporary politics.

There is certainly plenty of mediocre science fiction on television. For that matter, there’s plenty of mediocrity from every genre on television. Mediocrity can be filling, if not particularly savory. But “V” distinguishes itself from the rest of the menu, not in competence, but with the poison of intellectual negligence.

Steven Lloyd Wilson is a hopeless romantic and the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. His novel, ramblings, and assorted fictions coalesce at www.burningviolin.com. You can email him here.


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Comments

Word.

Posted by: Kballs at November 10, 2009 3:16 PM

The Mr has been wanting to watch this for as long as he's known about it so we'll definitely be watching these initial episodes. But if the right wing propaganda is as blatant as you say, then we won't be watching for long. This show is either doomed to failure or will eventually end up in some National Review list of top conservative television shows. Either way I'm not interested.

Posted by: katy at November 10, 2009 3:17 PM

Oh look, a trap door that leads to a dead guy who leads to dead guy’s house which has his cell phone which just so happens to have the extra super secret meeting place in the last text message. Oh look, a guy was fatally wounded but just happened to bring super secret photos of the infiltrator visitors to a sympathetic priest who just happens to show them to the only person in the entire government who also has seen pictures of them. It all culminates in a patented orgy of nonsensical action. Fancy CGI death robot shoots twenty people at once and then apparently runs out of bullets because bad guys run in with knives.

Oh, wow. It sounds like it was written by a video game writer, you know, how everything is timed perfectly for you to find it. OMIGOD! There's a giant monster, but conveniently, there just happens to be a rocket launcher conveniently laying out in plain site.

It's forgivable in video games, and retarded everywhere else.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at November 10, 2009 3:18 PM

A Pajiba review of a TV show with two "Firefly" alums and no mention of either... Color me impressed.

Posted by: slagzoo at November 10, 2009 3:21 PM

Yeah great nice. Oh and UP! comes out on DVD today (of all days) when the health care reform bill goes to the Senate. I mean COME ON! Obviously Pixar is drawing a direct metaphor to Medicare by putting the elderly character in a floating house that takes character away from society. And what about the talking dogs who rely on the evil villan in order to speak? Clearly they need a central leader to find their voice for them. What a smack at Obama and his lap dogs...

Posted by: Colostomy Baggins at November 10, 2009 3:24 PM

Yeah, this was terrible. You know in one of the opening scenes when Ricky from Boyz N The Hood is picking out the ring? The guy who played the jeweler was the most awkwardly terrible actor I've seen in years. On the flip side it's nice to see Scott Wolf working again, what with the recession and all. I figure if a numpty like him can pull through then there's hope for the rest of us.

Of course, I watched this (illegally online) for Morena Baccarin. I would shit hot knives to be with that woman. I just don't know if I'd watch this show again.

Posted by: TSF at November 10, 2009 3:27 PM

Yeah, I watched it.
Meh.
It's going down.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 10, 2009 3:28 PM

And in the end, the only people who can possibly save us from misguided youth and a presumably brainwashed government are a religious man, a rich man, a woman with a gun, and right wing conspiracy theorists dismissed as quacks.

Because we all know the good guys should be an ACLU lawyer, a homeless guy, a lesbian and an eco-warrior. What were they thinking!?

Posted by: James S at November 10, 2009 3:32 PM

Steven Lloyd Wilson, I actually had the exact same thought about the right-wing sympathies the show seemed to exhibit. And it definitely gave me pause....

But the continued sight of the hotness that is Morena Baccarin will inevitably keep me watching.

I'm sorry; I am weak.

Posted by: Gnaius at November 10, 2009 3:46 PM

Pajiba referred to Morena Baccarin as that "mild mannered woman" wow.

Posted by: Ashley at November 10, 2009 3:49 PM

And in the end, the only people who can possibly save us from misguided youth and a presumably brainwashed government are a religious man, a rich man, a woman with a gun, and right wing conspiracy theorists dismissed as quacks.

sounds about right to me.


(Chaos: ensue)

Posted by: mae at November 10, 2009 4:01 PM

The doubting priest who goes against the church and struggles with his faith and whether to grow a pair.

Out of all the things there are to be irritated with, this little detail bothered me the most. The Catholic Church is on record as stating that extraterrestrial life is not only possible, but they imply it is likely:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7399661.stm

It took me exactly 2.5 seconds to find that news piece, but maybe the writers of this series didn't have that kind of time.

There's a lot of talent in the cast and it's infuriating to see them wasted like this.

(Oh--and the ratings last week were huge.)

Posted by: Jerce at November 10, 2009 4:08 PM

Steven, I love your review, and you're right on all counts. So why must I continue watching? I'm a sucker for an alien? I have half a crush on Scott Wolf? I have no good answer. Watch on, I will. Chide me, you must.

Posted by: Cindy at November 10, 2009 4:22 PM

Spot on Steven. The writing was shitballs retarded, almost headbadger so. Which is a shame, because as a premise, the core story could have all sorts of good stuff done with it. And the cast is essentially a bunch of decent actors.

My (admittedly foggy) memories of the original have me certain that it wasn't as heavy handed as this is.

Plus Elizabeth Mitchell *and* Morena Baccarin!

Posted by: trib at November 10, 2009 4:54 PM

I agree with most of this - as I made a similar rant about the ridiculous logistics behind the resistance's meeting in that first episode - but it does seem a little early to pick this thing apart to this degree. If episodes two through four are as silly and shallow as the first one, then I'll grab a torch and pitchfork myself. Scathing reviews, bitchy people, I suppose.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at November 10, 2009 5:01 PM

What slagzoo said.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at November 10, 2009 5:22 PM

I haven't seen the show (and probably won't bother) but wow, Steve Lloyd Wilson; great piece.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 10, 2009 6:03 PM

What do you mean the writing is lazy? Did you see the second shot of the show where blondie from lost is waking up in her bed with her FBI badge splayed open and perfectly displayed on her night stand. That's graceful exposition of ever I have ever witnessed it.

Posted by: kinda fancy at November 10, 2009 6:49 PM

Seriously. BG reboot worked well because it was an allegory that never really allowed you to take sides, made you think about the current state of the world. Have not seen V yet but am suspicious of the hostility of this review - if it is an allegory that makes you think, critically, about something you hold dear, that does not mean right-wing conspiracy any more that BG was a left-wing conspiracy in the season when the humans started being the ones who blew themselves up. Just story telling that makes you think about your own assumptions about the current state of the world.

Posted by: Bob at November 10, 2009 6:56 PM

This was a great piece.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 10, 2009 7:58 PM

BSG portrayed the population as divergent group of individuals with their own opinions and agendas, where choices are not simple, decisions not straightforward and there is not always a happy ending (divine intervention notwithstanding).

Based on this review, V paints the population as a homogenous mob where the protagonists motivation are clear and unyielding, they divide neatly into “good” or “evil” and the answers are simple, obvious and just need the guy (or girl, lets not be sexist) with the balls to make the hard decisions.

That’s painting with watercolours vs scrawling with crayons. While your description sounds like the synopsis was written by Sean Hannity or Glen Beck, it sounds like you could have easily panned it without mentioning politics at all.

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at November 10, 2009 8:22 PM

I can't really say I was too pleased with the pilot either but in its defense, a few of you are comparing it to BSG but in doing so you are comparing it to the whole series. The miniseries/first episodes of BSG (while much better from many stand points) didn't really get into the morally ambiguous and critical thinking that the rest of the series is hailed for. In the first few episodes, the Cylons were simply evil and xenophobic. I don't think "V" is really gonna get a chance to delve into the philosophical and political areas that BSG did and even if it does last four seasons, it would have a hard time living up the large shoes of Battlestar. However, I also don't think its fair to compare the show's pilot and second episode to a culturally renowned four year epic.

Posted by: slagzoo at November 10, 2009 8:36 PM

Slazoo:
I agree that it is too soon to stack the two up together overall, but the comparison to BSG is still valid even in the early stages. While the cylons were pretty clear cut bad guys in the early stages (if you overlook the developing Athena/Helo arc), it was still clear that humanity was not a united front from the get go. The tensions between civilian vs military needs, interplantary-politics and radicalism/terrorism were all introduced in the first few episodes of season 1. Similarly, the cylons were not simply an unknown quantity acting out of conveniently ascribed evil- there was a history and a specific intent to their actions.

Maybe V will get to this point, but the portents are not good.

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at November 10, 2009 8:56 PM

gee an edit button would be nice :-)

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at November 10, 2009 8:58 PM

Squirrelgripper: Very well put. I definitely agree that BSG was a better show from the get-go (Its been a while since I've seen the early seasons and it doesn't surprise me that I've forgotten some of the subtleties). I am just of the school of thought that a series shouldn't be ruled out just based on the pilot. So while, I basically agreed with you, Bob and SLW on the many problems with V's pilot I felt the need to defend it anyway.

Posted by: slagzoo at November 10, 2009 9:26 PM

P.S. I also agree on the edit button. I just reread my comment and it has a few glaring punctuation typos.

Posted by: slagzoo at November 10, 2009 9:28 PM

Playing devil's advocate is a thankless task :-)

It's worth going back to the early eps if you get the chance. BSG was well into the 3rd season by the time I finally found it, hence I learned it all via a two month dvd crash course. IMO the conclusion erred by trying to answer every question, but the consistency throughout was remarkable. It was easy to imagine the whole series had been planned that way from go to whoa.

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at November 10, 2009 9:46 PM

Oh, please. New Yorkers boo their own sports teams as if greeting child molesters on parole, and this show posits that their response to the equivalent of interstellar spam would be "Why yes, Mr. Former Nigerian Space Minister, here's my bank account number."

Awesome, that. Thanks.

Posted by: faze at November 10, 2009 9:54 PM

Agree completely. Predictable, derivative dreck.

Also, Morena? You're masterminding an interplanetary, cross-species conspiracy to subvert an entire civilization. Maybe think about giving the knowing smiles a rest, yeah?

Posted by: trippdup at November 10, 2009 9:58 PM

All of that up there? YES.

I wouldn't even bother comparing it to BSG. The ORIGINAL SERIES was more subtle than this trainwreck. I mean, they went with the default Nazi wannabe setup and were pretty corny about it, but still instilled some sort of drama in it. It wasn't simply clear-cut good and evil; you could understand why the characters do what they do. Even some of the more cliched aspects (Robert Englund's "good" alien) were done in a relatively entertaining way.

But this was just clumsy. This was simply horrible writing hidden behind a weak attempt at being topical and controversial. It is one thing to get people to question their ideologies; it is something else to couch the clearly-marked-as-"enemy" forces in someone else's vocabulary and act like you are being even remotely fair in the portrayal.

Posted by: Vermillion at November 10, 2009 10:10 PM

I'm still weirded out that someone is actually named "Morena". It'd be like naming your kid "Blonde" or "Redhead" or "Brown Skinned".

Posted by: figgy at November 10, 2009 10:43 PM

Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction too:
"Hey, Scott Wolf is getting work again...good for him!"

Posted by: Salad Is Murder at November 10, 2009 11:17 PM

*clap ... clap ... clap"

Wonderfully written piece, Mr. SLW, for a show I do not and never will watch.

Hey figgy, I know you claim you don't have the time but you really owe it to yourself to check out the last weekend thread. My peeps bring the funny.

Otherwise ... your loss, baby.

And your bluelink doesn't work either.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy), at November 11, 2009 12:22 AM

Excellent piece SLW... I agree with every word of it. And yet, I watch. I think it's because there's nothing else worth watching on a Tuesday night and god forbid I should pick up a book to read. Geesh.

Also - I mention this only because you're the second reviewer I've read that reports the pilot of the downed plane died. He didn't. The reason I know this is because the minute the plane crashed, I thought "Uh oh, killing of earthlings immediately; that ain't gonna make the V's welcomed with open arms" and not two seconds later, it cuts to a picture of the pilot in a parachute floating gently to the pavement. Knocked out it would seem, but not dead.

And then I threw the small black towel I use as the penalty flag at the tv and screamed "Wimps! You should have started with a death, god dammit!!" startling the cat into an unearthly screech and forcing her to leap off the arm of the couch with all of her fur standing perfectly on end and my husband to remark "Thank god, the penalty flag has been thrown, I won't have to watch much more of this dreck."

Sadly, he was wrong.

Posted by: Kelly at November 11, 2009 11:16 AM

Frak. I *wanted* to like this show. I really did.

But what bothers me even more than the show's actual quality is the fact that absolutely NO ONE in the pilot ever is the slightest bit suspicious about the fact that *the aliens look exactly like us.* Not a single one.

And don't give me this 'they've-been-manipulating-human-society' crap. That doesn't excuse a gaping plot hole like this.

Maybe it's just me, but if aliens landed in America tomorrow, I wouldn't expect them all to look like highly attractive humans, if indeed they looked humanoid *at all.*

Posted by: Oracle at November 11, 2009 11:20 AM

Hey, I had a pet rock!

... ironically ...

Posted by: chayes at November 11, 2009 12:16 PM

Oracle,
When the reporters first meet Anna, they tell her that our scientists say its impossible for them to look like us. She replies that her scientists can explain it and the reporters snap back at her that she should explain it. Which leads to Scott Wolf asking if all the Vs are attractive.

Posted by: Whitney at November 16, 2009 1:22 AM





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