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There Is a Happy Land

By Cindy Davis | TV | August 3, 2010 | Comments ()

By Cindy Davis | TV | August 3, 2010 |


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I watched Hitting the Ground with a mix of feelings, thinking this is good (Lorena), that's awful (Debbie's incessant screeching), this is good (Eric), that sucks (Jason and Sam and their White Trash Gangs); then Russell showed up seething, sarcastic and savage (wonderful). And boom! It's over. Suddenly it seemed the ending had arrived much too quickly. Russell needs his own damned show; he always leaves me wanting more.

Lorena tells Sookie she's delicious and wonders what Sookie is. Bill jumps up behind Lorena, chokes her with one of his chains and pulls her to the ground on top of his own body while Sookie grabs a stake. Bill yells for Sookie to "just do it" as Lorena pledges her love to Bill. Sookie plunges the stake through Lorena's body, Bill holds her up so he won't get staked himself and Lorena turns into a bunch of bloody goo. Sookie screams for help and what do you know, Alcide and Tara pull right up with a handy-dandy truck. Tara wonders if Bill is dead and Sookie holds up her hands dripping with glop to show what a dead vampire looks like (not Franklin). As the three argue about getting Bill out, the door opens and in comes Downer Debbie, gun drawn.

Alcide tries to calm down Debbie, Sookie reads her mind and hears Debbie's fear. Tara and Sookie devise a mind plan as Debbie waves around her little gun and threatens everyone. Sookie screams, Tara tackles Debbie and Alcide grabs the gun. Cooter pops in and Alcide quickly pops a cap - in Cooter, twice. Yeehaw motherfrakker! Alcide keeps the gun on Debbie and her bullshit threats (did anyone take her rabid act seriously?) while Tara and Sookie carry Bill out to the van. Alcide locks Debbie in the building and the trio takes off with a bunch of weres in pursuit, but Alcide drives over one of them and the others stop to tend to the wounded wolfman.

Jason ponders whether he's too stupid to be depressed and why Crystal treated him the way she did. Hoyt pokes fun to try to make Jason feel better but when that doesn't work he suggests Jason go talk to the jailed meth dealer Jason caught the other night. Summer stops by to visit Hoyt, trying to convince him she's his new girlfriend but Jason shows more interest in her biscuits than Hoyt.

Sam drives up to an old man with a shotgun to ask about dogfights and leaves with nothing but threats. So he parks his truck and shifts to pit bull form. Sammy-dog visits a bunch of men in the woods who think he's a runaway and allows himself to be collared.

Eric brings Hadley to see a bird-caged Queen Sophie-Anne, threatening to drain Hadley dry if the Queen doesn't tell what her interest in Sookie is. Eric bites Hadley and begins drinking and when Sophie-Anne doesn't save her, Hadley says she's Sookie's cousin and will spill what she knows. Her whispered words can't be heard but Eric tells Sophie-Anne he wasn't expecting whatever he learned. Now I know and some of you know, but please mark any related comments as spoiler if you feel the need to discuss. And here, for just a moment, I must digress. Alex SkarsgÄrd is an onscreen god and frak any of you who say otherwise. In this one small scene, the man conveyed humor, lust, delight, ferocity, sarcasm, threat and mercy. And if you're a woman who didn't wish for a moment to be Hadley, your breast cupped in Eric's steady hand, I say you are dead. D-E-A-D.

Sookie cuts herself so Bill can drink and draw strength from her; once Bill starts he can't stop and he bites her over and over, covering her mouth so Tara and Alcide can't hear Sookie's screaming. Well actually, I had no problem hearing it as the two talked in the cab, but Dumb and Dumber must also be deaf.

Jason pays a jail visit to T-Dub, (Ronnie Gene Blevins) Crystal's cousin, who wants meth in exchange for what's sure to be useless information. Jason going to Lafayette for the meth is also useless.

Alcide pulls the van over to take a leak and Tara calls out to Sookie. When she doesn't get an answer Tara opens the door to find Sookie nearly drained. Tara kicks Bill out into the sunlight where he doesn't burn up as quickly as he should. Tara and Alcide take Sookie to a hospital where an emergency crew works on Sookie, but her body won't accept a blood transfusion. A doctor tells Tara and Alcide that they can't figure out Sookie's blood type and she's never seen anyone react the way Sookie did.

Sam returns to human form before he can be caged and he knocks out his captor. At the fight pit, Maw and Paw Mickens root for Tommy-dog while Sam sets all the caged dogs free and sounds an alarm that sends everyone running. Sam scares off the pit bull that was about to kick Tommy's ass and demands Paw give Tommy his clothes. Sam berates his parents and offers Tommy a better life. I love Sam, but I can't stand this saggy-underpants family storyline. There's an odd shot of Sam driving with Tommy; outside the window circle-lights float by very slowly, incongruous with the apparent vehicle speed.

Tara calls Jason to let him know about Sookie's dire condition. After they arrive at the hospital, Lafayette protects Jason from being pushed into making immediate medical decisions. Jason sweetly recounts to Tara how Sookie was delivered by her father on the dining room table. Sookie dreams as she lies in her hospital bed, unconscious. In her dream, she gets up from the bed and follows a path of flower petals to a door opening to a forest, where people dressed in white frolic. A woman who seems to know Sookie and identifies herself as Claudine (Lara Pulver) greets Sookie, then takes her out to fill Sookie's empty glass with magic, glowing pond water. (Does this mean Sookie's in charge of the island? But what about Hugo?) The two ladies have a nonsensical conversation as Lafayette says a prayer over Sookie's hospital body. Sookie and her new friend dance and then Claudine announces an approaching darkness; in the hospital room Bill arrives to offer his help. In the dream world, Claudine warns that Sookie is wrong about Bill and wants a promise that Sookie won't let him take her light. All the dream people disappear into the water as Jason gives his permission for Bill to infuse Sookie with his blood. When Sookie awakens, she sees Bill and screams like a loon.

The Magister gives a silver-chain bound and delightfully sardonic Pam a pair of Tiffany silver earrings to match her restraints. He's he's about to pierce Pam's eyelid (girl's got serious lashes) when Eric shows up with Queen Sophie-Anne and tells the Magister everything he did was at her behest. Eric also announces his allegiance to Russell who makes his usual grand entry and tells the Magister he may call Russell, "King". In an instant, the Magister is transformed from a terrorizing creep to a nervous, simpering fool. When the Magister tries to assert that he must arrest the Queen, Russell challenges him, then demands the Magister officiate his marriage to Sophie-Anne. As the Magister babbles about obedience to authorities and spouts memorized laws, in a blink Russell frees Pam and binds the Magister to the table, unsheathing a silver poker and beginning his own retaliatory torture. Sophie-Anne asks Russell to move it along; Russell threatens death and so the Magister proclaims the Queen and King married. But there will be no happily ever after. Russell goes on a tirade about survival of the fittest and taking the world back from the humans. Eric interrupts to ask if they should leave and Russell turns to go, but then stops and does an about-face. He tells the Magister to "Say hello to the true death" and lops off the Magister's head in one clean silver poker swoop.

Lordy, that Russell is fun - I can't wait to see what he does next. I almost don't care about the rest of the plot lines since he's arrived. We really, really need to be done with Sam's family and overstating how dumb Jason is over and over (stupid does seem to run in the family). I do want to Sookie's secret to be revealed, and for that matter to see what exactly Bill and Sophie-Anne had planned (steal her light?). But I'm more interested in what Eric is going to do and whether Russell has a clue or not and what his response will be when the two face off. I'm not sure I'll miss Lorena terribly, but I did appreciate Mariana Klaveno's fine acting.

Franklin! I know you're still out there and I hope you scare the pants off Tara because girlfriend has gone completely stupid. It must be from hanging around Sookie so much.

Closing credits: P J Harvey "Hitting the Ground"

Cindy is no vampire (not that there's anything wrong with them). You can reach Cindy here


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