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The View Review | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba's Trash TV: "The View" / Michael Murray

TV Reviews | July 10, 2009 | Comments (41)


“The View,” which is now chugging along in its 12th season, feels like it’s been around forever. Part of this, I suppose, is because of the presence of Barbara Walters. Walters, who turns 80 in September, had already been alive for a couple of decades when ABC, the network that broadcasts “The View,” first went on air in 1948. And so, when I see her, I find it easy to draw a line back to the dawn of TV. I imagine Barbara’s image flickering on a grainy black and white television set, she’s youngish, smoking a long and elegant cigarette while chatting with her cohorts about Shake ‘N Bake Chicken, Jackie Kennedy’s shoes and whether blacks have what it takes to play in Major League Baseball.

In spite of “The View’s” very conscious efforts to project a diverse and modern sensibility, there remains a retro quality to the show. There’s something about the all female cast, which was engineered to appeal to an all female audience, that recalls the 1950’s America of rigid gender segregation.

No matter, in 2009 “The View” seems to somehow reflect the conflicting voices of mainstream American women, with the five co-hosts taking on the form of modern oracles.

Barbara Walters is the grand doyenne and co-creator of “The View.” Dessicated and somewhat spectral in appearance, she casts a chilly, imperious shadow across the show, reminiscent of Darth Vadar presiding over the Death Star. Free of charm, she’s a bit of a buzz kill. Always attempting to weave a thread of gravitas through the proceedings, she proudly hovers above her minions like a dark spell.

Next in line is Whoopi Goldberg, who clearly has the most agile mind of the group. She stepped in as Rosie O’Donnel’s replacement in 2007, and plays the role of the eccentric and wise aunt who manages to be simultaneously subversive and mainstream. And like her character Guinan was in “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” Goldberg’s the voice of moral authority on “The View.”

Joy Behar, now in her 60s, has an 80’s hairstyle and the blue-collar wit of a liberal Italian from the Bronx. She’s brassy and frank, like a drunken neighbor at a cocktail party, which probably makes her amongst the most likable of the women on the show.

At the other end of the spectrum is Elisabeth Hasslebeck, who is the youngest and prettiest co-host, as well as being the most rabidly conservative. Plucked from the reality show “Survivor,” Hasslebeck resembles a glittering blonde preppy princess. Not only is she actually married to a NFL quarterback, but on “Survivor,” the one person she truly bonded with was an old, white guy with oodles of money named Roger. She’s All-American, in a gated community, I-hate-America kind of way, and she’s pregnant, once again, with America’s future.

Finally, there is Sherri Shepherd, who vacillates in weight. A comedian, Shepherd plays Tracy Jordan’s wife on “30 Rock,” and joined the cast of “The View” in 2007. Her primary role seems to be to give the little respected Hasslebeck someone to whom she might condescend.

Unburdened by imagination or a curious mind, it’s Shepherd who says the most ridiculous things on the show. After telling the world that she didn’t go in for that evolution, she was asked if she thought the world was flat. Shepherd said that she’d never thought about it, and then scrambled to repair the damage by saying that she was too busy raising her children to indulge in such self-indulgent naval gazing, letting everybody know that if you’re not careful, belief can absolve you of the responsibility of thought.



I tuned into the catch some of this rich pageant the other day, and was startled to see a new set. Replacing the cerebral blue of previous years, was a more intuitive orange, one that was so spiritual, warm and optimistic that I thought that Oprah herself might recently have been a guest, and from her feet, the set came aglow with her majesty.

Otherwise, the show, in which the five women discuss social, political and entertainment issues, was pretty much the same. The first half of the show was dedicated to their Hot Topics debate. This is the meat and potatoes of the show, in which they cover issues like Michael Jackson, Sarah Palin and North Korea. In this segment we found out that the white women on the panel were suspicious of Michael Jackson, while the black women refused to judge. We also found out that Elisabeth Hassleback supports the troops and loves the 4th of July.

In short order this devolved into a celebration of Michelle Obama, before completely deteriorating into a product placement ad for the company that made the purse she took on a recent trip to Russia. Naturally, this lead to a narcotic infusion of celebrity guests and lifestyle features, where we learned of LL Çool J’s myriad business ventures and how easy it is to now get scars and tattoos removed.

It all sounds kind of stupid and frothy, and often it is, but at it’s best there’s a current of unpretentious and authentic candor that runs through the show. During the election, the conversations on “The View” were often electric, with relatively normal people, often with fixed political positions, going to battle in an entirely accessible fashion. Unlike the loftier political shows, in which insider spin-doctors played clever games of dodge ball with one another, “The View” offered the deeply felt, if sometimes misinformed ( Sherri Shepherd—who said that she has never voted— I am looking directly at you) opinions of the people who constitute the country, and not just dissect it.

It’s a middlebrow enterprise, one that rarely talks down to its audience and is self-assured enough to swoon over how pretty Michelle Obama’s purse is. It seeks to elevate the discourse of its audience, but not too much, never making the mistake of going too far over the heads of the core audience. And so when we watch, we can safely snigger, knowing that these particular people and the ideas they hold, are every bit as idiotic, shallow and indefensible as our own.

Michael Murray is a freelance writer. For the last three and a half years he’s written a weekly column for the Ottawa Citizen about watching television. He presently lives in Toronto. You can find more of his musings on his blog, or check out his Facebook page.


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Comments

Really, the world is better off when stupid people don't vote.

For that matter, how can a stupid person become a comedian?

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 10, 2009 11:37 AM

I know I'm an elitist European and all, but I think people might want to determine whether or not the world is flat before they have kids.

Posted by: TSF at July 10, 2009 11:47 AM

Tracer, Larry the fucking Cable Guy is considered a comedian, and that is some the dumbest shit to have ever shat a shot. For shit's sake, people PAY MONEY to go and see him! Can you imagine spending your own money to watch someone play a fucktard who looks like he enjoys drinking his own bathwater? Oh wait, any Will Ferrell fans out there? Never mind then...

Posted by: Xtreme at July 10, 2009 11:47 AM

Larry is pretending to be a redneck so maybe he's also pretending to be stupid? I just have to think that fighting off hecklers requires a minimum level of smarts that weeds out truly stupid people.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 10, 2009 11:51 AM

Hey Tracer,
Gallagher.
Larry the Cable Guy.
There is an unfortunate precedence for stupid comedians. You find a schtick, like the uncle that crushes beer cans against his forehead every year during the 4th of July BBQ, and pound it into the fucking dirt. I don't know what Sherri's "talent" is, but I bet she has something.

Posted by: Kballs at July 10, 2009 11:55 AM

That's what she said! GRRL POWER! LOL! Whoopi in da house!

...

The glory days are gone.

Gone.

Posted by: Skitz at July 10, 2009 11:56 AM

Xtreme, the problem there is that you're assuming the real Larry the Cable Guy, Daniel Lawrence Whitney, is a moron himself, when in actually, he's fucking brilliant.

He knows exactly who his audience is and knows exactly how best to take from them all their wealth. His comedy may be the worst thing outside of Carlos Mencia, but you can't deny he knows how to build his character and stay successful.

Posted by: Snath at July 10, 2009 11:58 AM

Seconded TSF

Srriously, though. In this day and age, how can a person get to her age without having EVER thought about the Earth being flat V not flat?
There are countless pictures, programmes, ads that clearly show the world as a globe. Does she look at them and think to herself "what is that?" or does she recognise the image as a representation of the Earth ergo making her wonder why other people show it as a globe????
I mean FUCK.

Posted by: missh at July 10, 2009 12:01 PM

Tracer Bullet: Nah, if the reviews here are any indication, Larry actually IS an ignorant white trash hillbilly. He just pimps that out to like-minded folks to make them laugh.

And while I'm pretty sure that roughly 70% of the people on the review are completely shitballs retarded (Joy Behar is kinda half and half, really), you have to give it to them: At least they're not afraid to actually confront the issues, rather than just sort of dance around them. I mean yeah, they're not exactly political experts, but at least they're not afraid to actually voice an opinion rather than merely play the role of polite sycophants. I won't say that I agree with everything they say, but at least they're saying something.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at July 10, 2009 12:13 PM

Snath, while I concur that the Cable Guy shtick is highly successful, and I doubt that he truly is playing himself as the character, I just can't stand it. I suppose I'm more disgusted with his audience than him, I understand making easy money. I don't make easy money, but I'd sure like to. But I don't think I could bring myself to his level to do it. Then again, for a million dollars, I don't like to dwell on what I'd actually do. When I think about it for too long I get a little disturbed.

Posted by: Xtreme at July 10, 2009 12:15 PM

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for a million dollars. Maybe some exceptions.

I'm so fucking poor that I would do anything to support my family.

Plus, you know, hookers!

Posted by: Snath at July 10, 2009 12:29 PM

Barbara Walters is the grand doyenne and co-creator of “The View.” Dessicated and somewhat spectral in appearance, she casts a chilly, imperious shadow across the show, reminiscent of Darth Vadar presiding over the Death Star.

Due to the similarity in appearance I would have gone with Grand Moff Tarkin.

Posted by: ed newman at July 10, 2009 12:32 PM

Can I nominate ed newman for a quick write-in on this weeks EE? I loved that.
But SNL does a pretty great version of the View. Maybe it's just that I really don't know what it's like but I love Fred Armisen playing Joy Behar with a 5 o' clock shadow. And when Tracy Morgan played Sherri Shepard it was amazing.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 10, 2009 12:42 PM

I imagine Barbara’s image flickering on a grainy black and white television set, she’s youngish, smoking a long and elegant cigarette while chatting with her cohorts about Shake ‘N Bake Chicken, Jackie Kennedy’s shoes and whether blacks have what it takes to play in Major League Baseball.

I cant stop laughing at this sentence. By far the hardest i laughed in a while.

Posted by: Sad Rockstar at July 10, 2009 12:49 PM

if the reviews here are any indication, Larry actually IS an ignorant white trash hillbilly. He just pimps that out to like-minded folks to make them laugh.

Lawrence the Comedy Whore was born and grew up in Nebraska. He attended a private school. He is a cynical, calculating self-promoter; his contempt for his audience is palpable even as he debases himself to try to pander to them.

He is a shameless prostitute and an insult to the lowest "white trash hillbilly" who ever hit on his own sister.

Posted by: Jerce at July 10, 2009 1:00 PM

Very accurate review.

I don't know about you, but whenever I read anything that sounds like a play on words I'm immediately reminded of Carrie Bradshaw because she's so keen on making puns, because naturally that proves her talents as a writer.

"As I sat in my apartment with a gorgeous Park Avenue view, I tried to think of a unique point of view for my review of The View, a show made for me and you".

Fuck Carrie.

Posted by: Sofía at July 10, 2009 1:04 PM

Anybody see the episode where the awkward and uncharismatic Matthew Broderick, while discussing Barack Obama's defeat of Clinton in the Democratic Primary, told the women that his son was "happy that the boy won"?

Quite possibly the stupidest thing to say at that moment. i've never seen laughter die in women's faces so quickly. Let your wife speak for you next time, Broderick. Ferris Bueller was 20 years ago.

Posted by: buttercup at July 10, 2009 1:09 PM

I hears ya Snath, I hears ya. On that note, have you caught Hung yet? Never mind, you're married. I doubt the wifey would go for that.

And Jerce, thank you for eloquent elaboration on the disgusting mess that is LtCG. I just wish the general population was as smart as the least intelligent EE, the world would be such a happier place. Wait, scratch that, it would be cynical, bithcy, snarky and kinda mean. But it would oh so much more intelligent.

Posted by: Xtreme at July 10, 2009 1:16 PM

I have tried, during my most bored moments, to watch this show, just to catch a glimpse of the insanity that I usually just see through The Soup.

I have never made it more than 10 seconds. They always start talking all at once and they sound like a pack of angry chickens and how can they even HEAR EACH OTHER and how can anyone stand it?

Posted by: figgy at July 10, 2009 1:53 PM

Sofia: *gag* That's exactly like something she would write.

Fuckin' Carrie.

Posted by: figgy at July 10, 2009 2:11 PM

Hasselfuck might just be the stupidest, most annoying woman on tv...and I am counting the gals on Bret's Rock of VD Love bus and FOX News.

Posted by: Jules at July 10, 2009 2:29 PM

I have not watched this show in years, although I watched it when it was new.
Meh.
You know, putting the undereducated and un-curious on TV to be marveled at like zoo animals has an upside. It reminds me not to project my relative intelligence, morals, and sanity on others.
For example, projecting my basic grasp of geography on that lovely lady caused me to be a bit surprised and dissapointed that she didn't know if the world was flat.
Lesson learned.
In the future, I will assume that people are generally stupid, until they demonstrate otherwise.
Problem solved!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at July 10, 2009 2:53 PM

Sherri Shepherd is the sort of person that you see on a corny feature like Jay Leno's Jaywalking. She's utterly incurious about the world around her, yet entirely sure that whatever she "feels" is in fact the truth. Not only did she assert, on national TV, that the world is flat, but she also insisted that Christ predated the ancient Greeks and Romans, completely indifferent to the fact that B.C. refers to a time "before Christ." And remember, these are things that she's said on television, after she's rehearsed and been coached on what to say, imagine the things that she says in less guarded moments. Not surprisingly, there are rumors that she will soon be replaced. I mean, every time that she opens her mouth all the other co-hosts begin to smirk.

Posted by: michael murray at July 10, 2009 3:35 PM

There's nothing wrong with this show that couldn't be fixed by more drunk Danny Devito.

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at July 10, 2009 4:51 PM

There's a reason Danny Devito was drunk on the View: He just got finished servicing his wife Rhea Perlman. For those of you who don't know who Rhea Perlman is (and that means you were born during the 90's, fuck I hate this shit) go to Youtube and look up Rhea Perlman. You'll understand the need for self medication after seeing her.

As for Whoopi, I've always been a fan of the little black Jewish girl. I don't watch the View but then again I'm not the target audience. If Whoopi were to say what was on her mind, the white people that run the network would get rid of her.

Hasslebeck can get lost on an island for all I care. Same with Shepard. Anyone whose mind is as vacuous as the empty place between galaxies does not deserve to breath the same oxygen molecules as I do. Barbara Walters I'm leaving alone because I know she's just resting before taking a long dirt nap.

Posted by: bignick at July 10, 2009 5:30 PM

*Squawk squawk chatter chatter* x4

Pseudo-profound commentary by self-important narcissists.

Posted by: Recondite at July 10, 2009 5:43 PM

Also, Vader and navel...

Posted by: Recondite at July 10, 2009 5:45 PM

Finally, "And so when we watch, we can safely snigger, knowing that these particular people and the ideas they hold, are every bit as idiotic, shallow and indefensible as our own."

I could expend the energy to illustrate how this type of ending really doesn't fit this readership, seeing as how many of us can articulate and support opinions and observations. Next time just call them for what they are: well-connected people with complancent, status-quo-enforcing opinions about issues they barely comprehend.

Posted by: Recondite at July 10, 2009 5:50 PM

I'd say Whoopi was like Guinan, if Guinan wanted us to stop judging Michael Vick because dogfighting is just "how he grew up" and "part of his culture" that we could never understand.

Posted by: John Darc at July 10, 2009 5:51 PM

Eh, I sometimes catch The View when I have the chance. Joy amuses me, Whoopie isn't bad, and I have a morbid curiosity about what Dum-dum and Lil' Miss Gawd-fearing Amerkin will say next.

Posted by: meaux at July 10, 2009 6:38 PM

Between the intentionally lame-brained Larry the Cable Guy, and people who actually use the non-word "fucktard" in all seriousness, I'm pretty sure I know who is clearly more ignorant.

Posted by: dualie at July 10, 2009 6:56 PM

I'm sorry dualie, are you implying that Larry the (motherfucking) Cable Guy > Christopher Moore? That, my friend, is heinous fuckery most foul.

Posted by: meaux at July 10, 2009 7:12 PM

Whoopi Goldberg is Jewish? Damn it! All the cool ones are Jewish...

Posted by: Sofía at July 10, 2009 8:25 PM

John Darc, Mike Vick got into dogfighting because he was the king of Hotlanta...the motherfucker thought he could do no wrong. He forgot that just because he put on a football jersey doesn't mean he isn't a black man in the South.

For those of you that claim I'm racist, please understand I hate everybody equally, doesn't matter what your skin tone is. The fact is that there are still places in the South were lynching is still considered a favorite pastime.

If Whoopi defended Vick's actions, that's one thing. But simply stating the cultural differences that Vick was raised in is a valid point. Cultural differences aside, Vick is still a douchebag.

Posted by: bignick at July 11, 2009 6:04 AM

"There's a reason Danny Devito was drunk on the View: He just got finished servicing his wife Rhea Perlman. For those of you who don't know who Rhea Perlman is (and that means you were born during the 90's, fuck I hate this shit) go to Youtube and look up Rhea Perlman. You'll understand the need for self medication after seeing her."

Yeah. Because Devito's such a fucking prize himself.s

Posted by: samantha t at July 11, 2009 9:09 AM

Jules....

I agree that Hasslebeck is a moron and a fucktard...but obviously you are so rabidly liberal that you said she is one of the stupidest people on TV....

...while the woman sitting NEXT to her on said TV thought the world was FLAT! Let me say that again...because you know...this is something that never gets old...The World Is FLAT.

Is it just me or is it REALLY scary that there are two idiots on either end of the spectrum politically that both got cast on the same show? These two occupy the same airwaves for an hour EVERY weekday...and they are raising children. Housewives and the unemployed all over the country are listening to and watching this nonsense on a regular basis. Hmmm...I wonder why "they" hate us....We are all DOOMED.

And we are worried that she hasn't voted? THANK GOD ( or whatever omnipresent being you all do or do not believe in ) that she doesn't...or didn't.....I would venture to say she might have gotten around to it for the 2008 election. And I wonder why.

Posted by: Mr. Poopie Pants at July 12, 2009 12:21 AM

Never said Danny Devito was a catch or even that great looking of a man Samantha. However I wouldn't fuck Rhea Pearlman with a stolen dick. Same goes for Danny.

Posted by: bignick at July 12, 2009 5:37 AM

The View and the jackass harpies that are on it are one of the reasons the rest of the world hates us.

I hate that show.

Posted by: Melody at July 12, 2009 6:42 PM

That was a much more democratic review than I would be capable of. Well done.

I love Whoopi, I want to get drunk with Joy, and while Hasselbeck makes me want to throw things, I can acknowledge that she represents a large swath of defensive, rigid, Jeebus-loving soccer moms who really, truly are trying to be the best people that they know how to be - all in a pretty little blonde package. I know how patronizing that sounds, but... it's pretty true. I've got a sister just like her. Still makes me bitter though, as a journalist, that bitch got the job for eating bugs on national television.

Posted by: K at July 13, 2009 5:45 AM

Mr. Poopie Pants, why are you assuming Sherry Shepherd is liberal? She seems to be fairly apolotical, she just belongs to a wackadoo fundy church.

Hasslebeck is one of the most annoying creatures on TV, I literally cannot stand the sound of her voice. So though I enjoy Whoopi and Joy, eh, the rest of it sucks.

Seconding figgy, who said it just sounds like loud noises.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at July 13, 2009 6:25 PM

I gotta be honest....to see someone address me as Mr. Poopie Pants is just fucking HILARIOUS....as a longtime lurker, and very infrequent poster it almost made me pee myself.

I don't assume that Sherry is a liberal, but I would bet my last clean pair of underpants she voted for Barack Obama, and seeing as how she thought the world was flat, I would probably bet my last puff of talc that she did because A. he is black and B. she would get DESTROYED by Joy and the rest of the cackling idiots on the show.

I agree wholeheartedly...lots of loud noises and the occasional queef. You just KNOW Joy queefs at laest 6 times every show.

Joy reminds me of my mother in law who said this at the dinner table last week...and I shit you not...

MIL: "I wish Elvis got this much attention when he died."
Me: "He did....and still does every year on the anniversary of his death AND birthday. Besides, Elvis was no better than MJ, he was a drug addict too."
MIL: "No, Elvis was just ADDICTED to drugs..he WAS NOT a drug addict."

I looked at my father-in-law in disbelief and then at my wife....all three of us sitting and looking at each other trying our hardest not to laugh in her face...needless to say..I was not the strong one.

She claims that to her a drug addict sits in alleys begging for drugs....so I asked her when MJ actually sat in the alley and she did not speak to me the rest of the night and ignored me when I asked her to pass the potatoes. Made a helluva lot of noise putting the pots and pans away too.

So I guess that's a good thing.

Posted by: Mr. Poopie Pants at July 14, 2009 1:13 AM





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