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The Clip Show / The TV Whore
May 18, 2006
TV Reviews | May 18, 2006 | Comments (41)
We’re not letting the Department of Homeland Security keep us down. The NSA can trace our calls, the DHS can snatch our data, but The Clip Show marches on!
The government fucks us one more time. As you may know, President Bush will be giving a little address to the nation tonight (Monday) at 8 p.m. EST, which will wreak havoc on people in the Eastern and Central time zones who are planning to record shows tonight. So, if you’re reading this on Monday and want to know what the deal will be for your “stories” tonight, here’s the skinny: Fox will be airing the season finale of “Prison Break” and the next-to-last “24” in their entirety, following W’s address, which means the shows will be starting about 20 minutes later than usual. NBC is simply compacting the intended two hour “Deal or No Deal” to a 90-minute clusterfuck (imagine that — they can find a half-hour of worthlessness to throw out of that show). As for CBS and ABC? At the time of this writing, I haven’t heard what they intend to do, but you “Grey’s Anatomy” fans will definitely want to keep your eyes and ears open to ABC’s intentions.
And speaking of finales. It’s the time of year when shows wrap up their runs (be it season runs or series runs). If you’re looking for what finales are airing this week, here’s your list (for each day, I’ve selectively placed them in my own order of importance):
Monday — “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC, 9 p.m.?), “Prison Break” (Fox, 8:20-ish p.m.), “All of Us” (UPN, 8:30 p.m.?), “Two and a Half Men” (part one, CBS, 9 p.m.?).
Tuesday — “Scrubs” (NBC, 9 p.m.), “Law and Order: SVU” (NBC, 10 p.m.), “The Unit” (CBS, 10 p.m.).
Wednesday — “The Amazing Race” (CBS, 8 p.m.), “Invasion” (ABC, 10 p.m.), “Bones” (FOX, 8 p.m.), “CSI:NY” (CBS, 10 p.m.).
Thursday — “The O.C.” (Fox, 9 p.m.), “CSI” (CBS, 9 p.m.), “American Inventor” (ABC, 9 p.m.), “That ’70s Show” (Fox, 8 p.m.), “ER” (NBC, 9:59 p.m.).
Friday — “Conviction” (NBC, 9 p.m.), “Closer to Home” (CBS, 9 p.m.).
We’re almost rescued. On May 30, F/X’s fantastic “Rescue Me” hits us with a third season. If you’re struggling to bide the time between now and then, you can spend 15 minutes of that struggle watching “Rescue Me 2.5.” This 15-minute short, written by co-creators Dennis Leary and Peter Tolan, features the crew dealing with a sudden problem that’s come into the firehouse. The short doesn’t touch upon any of the ongoing plotlines, and it therefore chooses to skip the dark pathos which is often prevalent in the show. However, it does have the show’s sense of humor, and offers some interesting insight into the characters. You can check it out on-demand if you have Adelphia, Comcast, Cox (hee … if you have Cox!), Cablevision, or DirecTV. Alternatively, you can head over to this AOL page and click on the fourth result, the “‘Rescue Me’ Special Presentation.”
Big ups to “Numb3rs.” In my former life, I was a burgeoning scientist. And, while I don’t do much of the science work anymore, there’s definitely still a science and math geek living within my interior. It’s because of this that “Numb3rs,” a fairly smart procedural that often relies on math to solve the crime du jour, is the only Friday show I’ve watched in years. Last week, the show’s creators and executive producers were given the Carl Sagan Award for the Public Understanding of Science, putting them in the ranks of Bill Nye the Science Guy and the New York Times’ “Science Times” section. I love when TV gets treated all respectable-like.
First HBO gives me good news … HBO has announced that “Rome” will definitely be coming back for a second season. The 10 episodes are already in production and will air sometime next year. I’m betting that many of you either didn’t watch the show or gave up on because of its slow pacing. When HBO does the inevitable re-airing of season one before the second season begins, I suggest you give it another try. While it started off slow, it built itself into a rather fascinating show worthy of being part of the HBO slate.
… and then bashes me over the head with a pipe. Why do we always hurt the ones we love? HBO’s “Deadwood” is definitely my favorite current television show, and it may even be my all-time favorite show (and not just because the show and I share a penchant for throwing out cusswords like we’re truckers taking a piss break before getting back to the long haul). And while “Deadwood” creator David Milch has said that he only envisioned the show running for four years, I can respect such a short run, since his reasoning is that the town itself only existed for four years (it burnt down in 1879). What I can’t respect, however, is that HBO has declined its options on the cast’s contracts — in other words, HBO gave them a swift kick in the ass and failed to extend their contracts for a fourth season. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the third season (coming June 11th!!) will be the final one. But it does mean that cast members are free to look for other work, which in turn means that should the show come back for a fourth season it may be missing some of the members of its rather large ensemble. That rubs me raw. So you best watch the show now while you can, cocksuckers, lest the hoopleheads fuck us over.
Front and center, soldier! The network upfronts start today. As you may or may not know, the upfronts are a week-long hoo-ha where each of the major networks reveals their schedule for the fall, principally so that advertisers can start purchasing ad time. While the upfronts don’t typically offer many surprises, there are usually a handful of unexpected turns (for example, rumor has it that ABC is canceling “Invasion” but that The CW might scoop it up). To get an idea about how the whole thing can play out, you should check out the Tim Goodman’s (of the SF Chronicle) excellent article from Friday. The schedule for presentations has NBC already done (they went today, Monday), ABC going on Tuesday, CBS going on Wednesday, and Fox and The CW going on Thursday. Check back here next week for The TV Whore’s wrap-up and take on the new fall schedules.
I pity the fool that doesn’t give me a presidential pardon! As you undoubtedly know, last night hit us with “The West Wing” series finale. While it offered some sentimentality and tried its best to give a shout-out to as many characters as it could (and even a guest appearance by creator Aaron Sorkin!), I have to admit that I found the whole thing rather dull. Which is a shame, really, since this season was as close a return to form as we’d seen in years. In fact, my favorite thing about the finale didn’t actually come from the finale itself, but from last Thursday’s “The Colbert Report,” where Colbert pleaded for President Bartlett to pardon The A-Team on his way out of office. That would’ve made for a fantastic finale.
The tribe would have spoken if it hadn’t been so motherfucking bored. I have been utterly addicted to “Survivor” from the first time I heard the premise of it, back in 2000. I’ve even managed to get myself invested in the slower and more boring seasons. But this season was just a drag almost from start to finish, and last night’s finale was the vanilla icing on a vanilla cake. This was due, in part, to that fact that it was rather obvious that either of the guys in the final three would be able to beat Fake Tits McGee in the finals, so the decision of who she was going to take with her was of little import, and the whole final tribal council was just perfunctory. I support Burnett et al. doing what they can to try to keep the show fresh, with exile islands, hidden immunity idols, etc., and I’ll probably keep watching this show for as long as it’s on, but I hope it picks up some of the drama and entertainment that it once had. And Mr. Burnett, if I may offer a suggestion? Please try to cast people that are a little less grating to listen too than Fake Tits McGee and that fucking nut-job Courtney. Please. Seriously.
Old fish from the other side of the pond. Let’s end by looking ahead to next month. BBC America has decided to run “Spaced,” starting on June 23. I’ve heard good things about this turn-of-the-century show (it originally aired around ‘99 and ‘01), which was created by the guys who recently brought us the surprisingly funny Shaun of the Dead and features Shaun star Simon Pegg. I’m not sure how well the show’s pop culture references will translate over here, but I’ll certainly be giving it a shot. And if you’re looking for some new TV to help you pass the summertime, you might consider it as well (and speaking of BBC America, let me just give a quick shout out to the hilarious “Ed vs. Spencer” airing on Thursdays at 11 p.m.).
Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television columnist. He lives in Washington, D.C., and couldn’t be happier that summer “intern season” is finally here.
Comments
Posted by: Jeff Keezel at May 15, 2006 12:27 PM
You have any inside dope on HBO's The Wire? I did see it included in the "between show collage" last week so I assume that's a good sign of the eventual return...thekeez