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"The Torchwood Institute Was Created To Combat The Threat Posed By The Doctor And Other Phantasmagoria" ... But What Happens When "Torchwood" Itself Is The Problem?

By Seth Freilich | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (22)



torchwood-gwen.jpg

The first season of “Torchwood” (and to a lesser extent the second season as well) was not great. It had its good moments, but there were a lot problems. But Captain Jack was (and is) such a great character that many of us stuck with the show through its growing pains. As many of you know, those who stuck with the show were eventually rewarded with the third season/miniseries, “Torchwood: Children of Earth,” which was not flawless, but was really phenomenal. Scary, funny, dark, sad and smart, everything we want from a show like this.

It was so good, in fact, that it resulted in high expectations for the new season, “Torchwood: Miracle Day,” despite concerns about Starz’s partnership and the ensuing Americanization. When Dustin reviewed “Torchwood: Miracle Day” after its premiere, he concluded that “it would take one colossal cock-up to keep us from watching ‘Miracle Day,’ and there are none of those in sight.” Well, two episodes later, the cock-ups abound. I long for the crappy days of the first two seasons because, while a lot of other people seem unwilling to admit this for some reason, this current incarnation of the show is atrocious.

I can’t remember the last time I was this angry, sad and disappointed about a television show. There are so many problems, and I have so many frustrations with it that I barely even know where to begin. A good place to start is the heinous overly-acted melodramatic duo that is Mekhi Phifer and Bill Pullman. Holy shit. From moment one, Phifer has offered almost nothing more than a high school theater workshop version of “now play angry.” Part of that is the writing, to be sure (more on that, trust me, in a bit), but even with the words he’s being asked to read, he could try to offer a little nuance. Instead, we get irritability and anger that doesn’t seem to really come from anywhere. Every time Phifer is on screen, I cringe and jitter in anticipation for the scene to end. “Torchwood” has a well established tradition of killing off major characters and Phifer’s CIA agent can’t go soon enough. As for Pullman, I can’t really figure out what the hell he’s doing. It’s not the same type of overacting as Phifer, at least insofar as it’s not out-and-out scenery chewing, but it’s no less annoying, with his gravely voice and scrunchy face. It’s brutal to watch, man.

As bad as both actors are, I’m not sure there’s much that could be done even by Royal Shakespeareans. As an actor, you have to work with the words that are given to you and the words here are bad. There are two problems. One is the characters. Phifer’s character has this ridiculous intolerant rage. Three episodes in and they’ve established a pretty solid routine for him — he’s angry, he’s in pain and talks about needing drugs, he’s flippant towards Jack and Gwen, he’s distrustful, he plays along anyway because they’re his best options, he’s angry, he’s in pain …. I’ve seen reviews suggest that the most recent episode “softened” his character but that’s not really true. Just because he got laid doesn’t make his character any less insufferable or infuriating. In fact, it’s completely inexplicable and unbelievable that his doctor would let him put it inside her, another piece of evidence for the lack of legitimate characterization here.

Pullman’s character, meanwhile, makes no sense. Strike that — his character makes sense, but what doesn’t is this idea that in a mere matter of days, he’s gone from a reviled pedophilic killer to a PR man and borderline-deity. I get that this is, to some extent, Russell T. Davies and company trying to comment on how readily the American public forgives our villains, but this is beyond all credibility. While it’s possible that a well-written show could make such a development credible, we’ll never know because the writing is atrocious.

The overall storytelling and pacing is also weak. It feels more like the early days of Season One, when it was simply a bad show. The pacing is off, the main story arch isn’t nearly as compelling or interesting as the things on the periphery (i.e., I almost don’t care about this big evil Pharma company, but would like to see a hell of a lot more of the bits about how society is being impacted as a result of the Miracle), and the tone is missing. The early seasons teetered a fine line between fun and dark. “Children of Earth” decided to go full-on dark and scary, with some black humor tossed in, and it worked. “Miracle Day” doesn’t have any of that. At Comic-Con, the showrunners said the season gets dark at the end of Episode 5. Great. On the one hand, I wish it would’ve started dark rather than waiting until halfway through the series to go that way. On the other hand, if you want to start one way and then go dark, that’s fine, but start with something. If it’s not going to be dark, it’s gotta be something. So far, it’s been bland. No style, no real energy, and only the barest hint of comedy (at least, actually amusing comedy, as opposed to cheesy nonsense or making fun of the differences between England and America).

But even putting all of that aside, there’s the dialogue, some of the worst I’ve heard in years. It’s as though the writers decided that, now that they’re in America, they can’t have any respect for their audience. Virtually every line out of anyone’s mouth is a blatant, on-the-nose version of “we’re holding your hand and explaining this to you very carefully so you don’t get lost.” It’s not good. And when the dialogue isn’t about the story, it’s bad.

That even goes for our dear Captain Jack. There’s something off with his character, and it’s not just the missing quips. I get that they’re not properly addressing the past and how he left at the end of “Children of Earth” because they want the show accessible to newbies. But they’re also not back to the old fun-loving Jack, so you’ve got this weird mush of a character who isn’t the Captain Jack we all know and love.

In fact, about the only thing the writers have gotten right is Gwen. Love her or hate her (I’m in the “love her” camp, but I get why some don’t), she feels like the same Gwen from the past series. As a result, she’s maybe what makes me the most angry and disappointed. Because goddamn it, how could they get Gwen so right, and get the rest of it so wrong? There is a good show around the periphery of “Miracle Day,” trying to break through. But it’s bogged down by the weight of a thousand problems. After the first episode, I hoped it would self-correct, but a third of way through the series now, I’m less hopeful. I’ll keep watching, but like Phifer’s character, it will be in a constant state of anger.









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Comments

I agree that there's a lot missing, off, or just plain bad about Miracle Day. I eagerly anticipated the premier, forgot about episode 2 and caught it when it was rebroadcast on the following Tuesday. Likewise forgot about episode 3, and I'm not really sure if I'll bother watching tomorrow night.

Other than that, I'm just happy to find there's another Lover of Gwen in the Pajibaverse. It was getting lonely.

Posted by: Groundloop at July 25, 2011 11:54 AM

Doesn't surprise me in the slightest. No-one has ever given The Office the incredibly huge credit it deserves for taking a show based on essentially British humor and doing a successful translation. Even with Davies at the helm, and I get the feeling from his interviews that he was only nominally at the helm, it just wasn't going to translate.
Note to US cable producers who think they could work wonders with Doctor Who: LEAVE IT ALONE. WALK AWAY AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 25, 2011 11:57 AM

I wonder if Phifer took a workshop from the same toolbag who played Benjamin on BBC's Jekyll.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 25, 2011 12:01 PM

Gwen's annoying, but you have to give it up for Eve Myles who can play the crap out of her. I never ever remember the show is on, and I am a hardcore American Who/Torchwood looney. You know what we need more of? Rhys. And the cute baby. That is one cute baby. But honestly, I've long accepted that Russell T Davies has a pattern of giving really good stuff then pulling the rug out from under you then shitting in your mouth.

Posted by: Sefa at July 25, 2011 12:04 PM

It's at times eye-rollingly melodramatic and awkwardly cheesy, with annoying characters doing illogical things with endearing pluck in the midst of a genuinely intriguing science fiction premise while Captain Jack has gay sex. It's Torchwood, my friends.

Posted by: Baboon at July 25, 2011 12:09 PM

The only thing I like about American Torchwood so far is Lauren Ambrose's Jilly Kitzinger. She makes me feel like QUICK, AN ACTOR! IT'S ACTING! CATCH IT! DON'T LET IT GO! Also, her hair and make-up team, who have done a great job styling her for the character.

Everything else is just infuriating. I was hanging on by a thread of love for John Barrowman and Eve Myles, but Jack's character is just terribly written, so not even he can save matters. Drunk-dialing Gwen? Really?

I have a myriad of complaints about crappy US Torchwood, or Blowtorchwood as Joanna and some of us have taken to calling it, but I've already complained on Facebook kind of a LOT and that's cathartic enough for me.

Posted by: Nat Kittyface at July 25, 2011 12:11 PM

Ambrose, seriously? She's about as terrible as Phifer.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 25, 2011 12:15 PM

I, too, am in the Love Gwen Cooper camp. I understand why she gets a lot of flack, but there hasn't been a moment throughout the series where I don't find her character compelling and believable.

That said, Miracle Day needs to address its problems and address them fast, or else there really isn't much hope for it. Torchwood season one was bad, yes, but it had nuggets of goodness that they amplified in season two (which I loved, despite it's weaker moments) and they were therefore able to make it something wonderfully watchable. Miracle Day doesn't have that.

It's impossible for me to become emotionally invested in these characters when I spend my time hoping that Mekhi Phifer (can't even remember his character name) and Esther Drummond (my god she's annoying as hell) die and die quickly. We need a Torchwood team that we can love and root for and if we had that I think I could forgive so many of its other issues. But since we don't, and like you said Jack isn't his lovable self, I'm finding the show increasingly frustrating and that saddens me.

Posted by: beckster at July 25, 2011 12:23 PM

I checked out at the end of the first ep when Mekhi Phifer went to Wales. Apparently there is supposed to be something inherently hilarious about an American in Wales, so the writers felt they didn't have to try anymore and gave us bland ''funny'' lines like ''WALES IS THE NEW JERSEY OF ENGLAND!'' and ''WHAT! I HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS BRIDGE?!'' and ''WALES! IS INSANE!''

It was loud, unfunny and not a little insulting. And I'm not even American.

Posted by: J.K.B. at July 25, 2011 12:39 PM

To me, it looks like there's someone wearing a Bill Pullman mask, and they don't know how to make natural facial expressions in it. I don't know if Bill's had some work done and then had some drugs done, but his face, and his facial movements, are weird.

Posted by: Lauren at July 25, 2011 2:14 PM

There is nothing to like about this incarnation of "Torchwood," and I use the name lightly. It bears no resemblance to the show that was, the writing is awful, the acting is worse and I'm giving up. That female agent acts like a frightened 12 year old, Pfifer is an abomination and Ambrose looks like a little girl playing dress-up. The whole thing is a sorry, soggy mess.

Posted by: Cindy at July 25, 2011 3:07 PM

How long until Steve Moffat takes over as head writer for Torchwood?

In all seriousness, I haven't been impressed with Miracle Day either. I just hope people realize Torchwood's problems lies with Russel T. Daves' writing. I've seen too many people bashing the series just because it now takes place in America.

Posted by: dragonking at July 25, 2011 3:17 PM

Torchwood has always been somewhat rubbish but generally I watched for the good bits in between the crap. With CoE we got something that was more good than rubbish. But at least with series 1 and 2 there were characters we more or less liked (or were interested in) - and of course the lovely Ianto. Mekhi Phifer is just awful and no one could possibly think he is an interesting character. Plus the CIA lady is blah. Gwen is in fact now the only interesting one (oh and of course Rhys) - I've always quite liked Gwen as long as I chose to ignore the writers' continually throwing her at Jack (that never happens in my head).

Have to confess I've always disliked Jack more than I like him anyway. For some reason he's great when in DW but in Torchwood he's a bit moody for my liking.

Posted by: TS at July 25, 2011 3:52 PM

I'm a major Gwen Cooper fan, have been from ep 1.

My family and I are giant Torchwood fans, so we watch it. It's been painful, but we're sticking with it.

Some of the crap is just totally WTF moments. (Captain Jack confronts the child murderer. Why?)

I did have one great boner moment, that was when the CIA agent who poisoned Jack told Gwen "If this is the best England has to offer, we're in real trouble" and Gwen told her "I'm Welsh" before she decked her.

Damn, I love Gwen Cooper!

Posted by: Uncle JR at July 25, 2011 3:59 PM

I don't watch anymore since they killed Ianto. As you said, Jack is not the same anymore and as I don't like Gwen...
So nothing to make me watch again, especially not the new crew...

Posted by: Pat at July 25, 2011 5:16 PM

Exactlyy. Blowtorchwood.

Posted by: coveredinbees at July 25, 2011 6:36 PM

That extra "y"? That's Welsh.

I LOVE YOU, BETH GWEN COOPER!

Posted by: coveredinbees at July 25, 2011 6:37 PM

I hate Gwen because she's a goody two-shoes who can never do anything wrong. She's practically perfect in every way.

However, I love the crap out of Eve Myles because she is killing that role. If you're going to be Miss Perfect, you need to commit to it. She does. And it drives me crazy in good and bad ways.

Posted by: Robert at July 25, 2011 7:27 PM

Thank you, Seth. This is pretty much my whole issue with this season.

I wasn't enthused with everything I was hearing in the lead up, and RTD does scare me with how out of touch he was with the characters in COE. Jack I felt was pretty out of character for a lot of COE, but in this series I have no idea who he is.

Gwen I have never liked as a character, but I understood her. Then by COE she seemed to finally hit her strides and understand herself better and became someone I was interested in watching.
She is one of those women who is friends with other women who make her look better.
She always has another bloke ready and lined up if the one she is with doesn't work. That is canon with how she was with another bloke when she got her eye set on Rhys. She is incredibly imperfect and real and Eve does a great job playing her. It's Rusty and the others who don't seem to get it, weird considering they created this 'real' character.

Can anyone explain to me why Vera even thought about sleeping with the arsehole-otherwise-known-as-Rex? I mean that came out of nowhere, except in Rex's own mind that he is God's gift to women everywhere, even with a great big hole in his chest that means he can't stand but he can have sex fine!

I loved first and second season TW and this season makes me want to rewatch it again, flaws and all. It was fun and laughed at itself, this is trying to be highbrow srsbznss sci fi and the writers are not up to it, and only a couple of the actors are.

Posted by: noo at July 26, 2011 1:36 AM

also meant to add, it is very telling when the other lead writer on the show, Jane Espenson, has only watched COE and not the rest of the series. No wonder the characters are a bit 'off'.

Posted by: noo at July 26, 2011 2:00 AM

Jane Espenson is mixed-up in this disaster? *checks*

Ah! that explains QUITE a bit. We might as well give up and move on folks. Her M.O. is always the same: She comes into a series and takes established characters and absolutely demolishes them(see: Buffy) while HER characters are one dimensional, unbalanced and STUPID (see: Caprica).

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 26, 2011 8:21 AM

See, the problem I have with Torchwood is the same I have with True Blood - just as I am thinking solidly about dropping them, they go and do something just interesting enough to make me stay for another ep.

Torchwood, however, went and killed off my favourite characters (besides Gwen). Those assholes.

Posted by: Shane at July 26, 2011 11:35 PM