web
counter
 

She's A Stone Cold Bitch

By Michael Murray | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (48)



nenenkim.jpg

The dominant villain of The Real Housewives of Atlanta is Sheree.

She’s a stone cold bitch.

Athletic in appearance, with a long masculine face, she looks like somebody who probably took steroids while on her high school track team. Now seeking a seven-figure divorce settlement from ex NFL player Bob Whitfield, she’s utterly shameless and self-centered. You will hate her, as she is a charm-free zone.

Actually, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ll hate all of the women featured on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. The third in the franchise, following The Real Housewives of Orange County (think Barbie dolls with money) and The Real Housewives of New York City (think ball-breaking New Yorkers with money), The Real Housewives of Atlanta has proven to be the most popular of the lot, pulling in over two million viewers, making it Bravo’s most popular docudrama of all time.

The show follows the lives of five self-obsessed and extravagantly spendy women from Atlanta. Whether they’re actually rich or not, is another matter, but they live like they’re rich, and that’s the point. We’re told that Atlanta is a Mecca for wealthy African-Americans, one that has a firmly established and entrenched upper tier of wealthy blacks. As a result, four out of the five women featured on the are black— but make no mistake, this isn’t The Cosby Show.

No.

Far from it.

The show has Jerry Springer written all over it, and nobody seems to embody this spirit of trailer park trash better than Kim, the lone white woman on the program. With blonde hair, big tits and a want to make it as a country star, she resembles Jessica Simpson in 25 years. Fumbling along with an excruciating singing voice and the blank, uncomprehending eyes of a Sunfish, it’s hard not to feel sorry for her.

As the second season starts, we find Kim confronting tough times. The sugar daddy she had found for herself— whom she insipidly refers to only as Big Poppa—has departed, and she is left to fend for herself. What this means, at least in the quasi-scripted world of reality television, is that she is going to become an independent woman and get a job.

She doesn’t have a lot of ideas in this regard, but the one thing she’d like to do is get her name attached to a line of wigs. Wigs are important to Kim because she wears one. A few years ago, she tells us, she got sick and lost her hair. However, she quickly adds that it wasn’t cancer that she had, as that would be, well, ugly, I guess. At any rate, she started to wear a wig, and now wants to introduce a white mainstream to the glory of weaves, extensions and all variety of fake hair.

Like a cougar dressing up for an Aerosmith concert, Kim, wearing a tiny, pink leather jacket, attends the Empire Beauty School for a day. Sadly, Diana, the instructor, is kind of fat. The look on Kim’s face when she sees her is a combination of shock and amusement. I mean, what could a fat person possibly know about beauty? Kim begins to snicker and lose focus, admitting to the camera that she doesn’t actually want to learn about stuff, but really just wants to be rich and famous for wearing a wig.

Like most of us.

Meanwhile, Sheree, who is as focused as a Rattlesnake, is planning her Independence Party to celebrate her divorce from he ex-NFL spouse. She hires an expensive party planner to do this, telling him that the event must be all about her, as if that was ever in doubt. A helicopter is to transport her to the party, rose petals are to be thrown at her feet, sycophants will grovel, and a poet will sing songs of her glory. Seriously. This is their shared vision.

However, Sheree proves to be a micromanager, constantly calling up the planner to give him bossy instructions. A meeting ensued in which a screaming fight, that looked like it could easily veer into homicide, erupted. You could see the tendons straining in their necks as they waved their arms about, shouting filth at one another that would make the Wu-Tang Clan pause. It was exactly the way that a sheltered white boy might image that things go in the ghetto.

This, of course, is an issue that plagues The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It’s presenting what’s supposed to be the gentrified and established doyennes of the city as a bunch of ghetto whores who’ll cut you for bus fare. I mean, an episode doesn’t go by when there isn’t some brawl, foreclosure, scam, paternity test or illegitimate child.

Of course, this is reality TV, not reality. The Housewives franchise always amplifies the women, and the culture they come from, on all of their programs. They’re all stereotypes, whether they’re representing Orange County or the suburbs of Atlanta. It’s not an even-handed documentary, but a wildly embellished interpretation of reality. The producers shoot hundreds of hours of footage, and from that footage they sculpt characters and stories that will appeal as broadly and immediately as possible to the intended audience.

And so, when we see Sheree, after a failed attempt at reconciliation, trying to yank the wig off of Kim’s head as they tussle outside of an Atlanta restaurant, we’re just watching the same fictive theatrics that fuel any nighttime soap. What makes this dangerous, I suppose, is that it’s a primarily African-American cast, and the implicit message is that although you can take the person out of the ghetto, well, you can’t take the ghetto out of the person.

Standing in contrast to this is Kandi, the most likeable of the women on the show. She’s a Grammy award winning songwriter (the TLC song “No Scrubs”) who was in the group Xscape. She lives with her fiancée and his six kids, as well as her own young daughter. It’s clear that of the women on the show, Kandi is the one who’s the most independent, hard working and responsible. She’s the only one who seems to have any talent beyond the force of her own personality, and she’s trying to make herself a better person, refusing to play-up any stereotypes for ratings.

Entering into a new relationship in which there will be a blended family, she speaks of her past, and how in her family, all the mothers were single, a cycle she never wanted to participate in. But she did. And as she speaks, she becomes emotional, and suddenly in the midst of all the lurid hyperbole and self-centered posturing the show throws at us, we have a sincere and touching moment of honesty. But it passes, and in a flash, whatever humility and vulnerability was present, is quickly consumed by the more entertaining, if less challenging, caricatures of the city.

Michael Murray is a freelance writer. For the last three and a half years he’s written a weekly column for the Ottawa Citizen about watching television. He presently lives in Toronto. You can find more of his musings on his blog, or check out his Facebook page.









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance



Dan Fogler Responds to Rumor Pajiba Started | Weird Sh*t I Found In the Pockets of Returned Tuxedo Rentals









Comments

Guilty. I watch this shit. Can't help myself. And I actually think I could be friends with NeNe. She and I could have a good time.

Posted by: wsapnin at September 4, 2009 11:26 AM

The only shows on Bravo that I watch are "Top Chef" and "Flipping Out." I wouldn't watch "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" to save my left nut.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 11:35 AM

The people who watch this show are the same people who think Tyler Perry is the best hing for black people. I'm an eighteen year old African Amercian and shows like this just demean black people. Why do we have to yuck this shit up when better thing for black people are open? Goddamn, the black people have been underserved for a long while.

Posted by: Corey W. at September 4, 2009 11:36 AM

"We’re told that Atlanta is a Mecca for wealthy African-American’s..."

Dustin, what's with the apostrophe? I really am a fan of your reviews, but I can't let that one slide.

Posted by: Kel at September 4, 2009 11:38 AM

First off, Kel, pay attention. Dustin didn't write the article. Second, I missed it in my editorial pass, so consider it fixed.

Third: lighten up.

Posted by: TK at September 4, 2009 11:40 AM

So, the blond / bald one wants to be famous for wearing wigs. I'm sorry, but Raquel Welch already beat you to it. Dolly Parton also beat you to it. Even friggin Paris Hilton beat you to it.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 4, 2009 11:41 AM

The reason that Dustin screwed up with that apostrophe, Kei, was because Michael Murray wrote the review. Murray doesn't have a clue where to put apostrophes, thinking of them as a kind of grammar confetti that you can just throw about wherever you want. Dustin uses apostrophes like a surgeon uses his scalpel.

Wsapinn:

NeNe is a world of charm, in a passive-aggressive way, and would be all sorts of fun to hang-out with about once a month. In my opinion, she's the personality that actually holds the show together, and there are rumors that she's going to be getting her own talk show, so Trya, you better duck!

Posted by: michael murray at September 4, 2009 11:43 AM

wait, who wrote this?

Posted by: memily at September 4, 2009 11:49 AM

Couldn't we just as easily say that Real Housewives of New York reinforces horrible stereotypes about greedy Jewish women and Real Housewives of New Jersey does the same thing for the trashy Jersey Girl image? In other words, these shows just trade on our assumed prejudices and the sad thing is that the participants just want to be on camera so badly that they are okay with that.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 4, 2009 11:50 AM

oh, okay, it got changed! i can breathe a sigh of relief. also, real housewives (especially the jersey one, which was filmed near where i live, ugh) is the kind of thing you watch with the curtains drawn in the dead of the night. that is how great the shame is. i've never seen the atlanta one, though, because i like my "drama" mundane and passive-agressive, a la the new york version.

Posted by: memily at September 4, 2009 11:56 AM

All these bitches need to get.... a JOB, and stop living off they men.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2009 11:57 AM

Michael does not presently live in Toronto. He currently lives in Toronto.

presently = in a moment
currently = at the moment
momentarily = for a moment

Here endeth the accuracy police.

Posted by: Sarah at September 4, 2009 12:04 PM

Actually, from a British English point of view (which one might assume is applicable in Toronto for historical reasons), "presently" means bot "now" and "in a short while".

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 4, 2009 12:14 PM

A poet. A poet? A motherfuckin' poet?! Atlanta might be turning into the black peoples' answer to Dallas and it's probably time to consider nuking them both.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 4, 2009 12:16 PM

This review certainly meets the scathing requirement and the bitchy has once again been provided by the comments. Kudos Pajibans!

Posted by: Sarah at September 4, 2009 12:16 PM

I posted as a Canadian from Toronto for non-historical reasons.

Posted by: Sarah at September 4, 2009 12:18 PM

My wife watches this show. She also watches that other show with a member of Xscape, "Tiny and Toya." That's more for Toya, though, since my wife has an unhealthy obsession with Lil Wayne, and apparently watching a show about his ex-wife somehow plays into that. I have no idea.

Posted by: Snath at September 4, 2009 12:22 PM

I truly don't understand how people can watch this shit. I pretty much hate almost everyone, but even I don't hate humanity enough to be amused by what looks like (from the promos for these awful shows, plus a few seconds I was unfortunate enough to catch while channel surfing) the highlight reel from "America's Most Repellent Skanks." Come to think of it, I'd consider watching that show, if only once. At least that title would be honest.

Note: I was going to use the "C word" in that title, but thought it might be crossing a line/get deleted.

Posted by: Slash at September 4, 2009 12:22 PM

Cœlacanth?

Posted by: TK at September 4, 2009 12:39 PM

Ciclotron?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 4, 2009 12:45 PM

Cuddle parties?

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 4, 2009 12:46 PM

Cisogyny.

Posted by: branded at September 4, 2009 1:02 PM

most popular of the lot, pulling in over two million viewers
---
Always good to keep in mind there are 300 million Americans. That means 298 million of us couldn't care less. Or don't have higher-tier cable.
+++
Michael does not presently live in Toronto. He currently lives in Toronto.
---
Or you could just say, "He lives in Toronto," "lives" being all present tense like that.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 4, 2009 1:10 PM

Counterproductivity.

Posted by: Snath at September 4, 2009 1:14 PM

Conundrum?

Posted by: figgy at September 4, 2009 1:19 PM

Unlike “The Real Housewives of Anywhere” these tricks don’t seem to have any money, that’s why I can’t watch it. It’s kinda like trying to watch “House Hunters,” if the motherfuckers don’t have any money to spend on a palace why waste my time watching these fucks trying to scrape two nickels together to buy a double wide.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 1:28 PM

Oh Pook......sorry, Guess Who:

Now that made me swallow my couscous backwards and practically choke to death. If House Hunters ever did go the double-wide route, I would be all over that show. As it is, it's one of the most boring, badly edited shows around. Note to producers: if you want us to believe that they haven't already bought the house they're supposed to be indifferent about, don't film them with completely different hair styles minus the baby bump three months later pretending to look at other houses that arent anything close to what they said they wanted.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 4, 2009 1:41 PM

Critics?

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 4, 2009 1:45 PM

Children?

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 4, 2009 1:56 PM

Couscous!pffffffffff, nigga please. Paddy your ass don’t know nothing about no couscous. Fine dining to you is going to Long John Silver.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 2:01 PM

Just joking Paddy, but seriously I kinda like “House Hunters.” Just last week I was watching it and they had these two lesbians on it looking for a condo in Seattle. They were kinda hot looking, I swear if I were home alone I would have rub one out.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 2:17 PM

Guessookie:

My favourite is "My House is Worth What?" because I just love seeing people think they have the best house in the world and then being told how much they over-spent. I'm just mean inside.

Also, couscous can result in serious anal blockage so I shall now depart Pajiba and walk around for a bit.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 4, 2009 2:34 PM

If there's anything that this show proves over and over again, it's that money sure as hell doesn't buy class.

Posted by: RAT at September 4, 2009 3:34 PM

“Money sure as hell doesn’t buy class” Whoa!...... Rat that was a deep quote. I always wish I had the ability to come up with something witty to say. Brother you knocked it out of the park.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 4, 2009 3:45 PM

Coccyx?

Atlanta might be turning into the black peoples' answer to Dallas and it's probably time to consider nuking them both.

Well, just give me a sec to pack my things here, and have at it.

Posted by: Vermillion at September 4, 2009 4:16 PM

The "C word" is what a chick I work with calls it. Apparently, it's a really bad word. She'll say "fuck" but she won't say this one. She'll actually say something like, "______ is being a C word."

I don't have a problem with the word. It's not my favorite or anything, but sometimes, no other word will do in certain contexts.

Posted by: Slash at September 4, 2009 7:12 PM

Don't nuke Atlanta, but Dallas is yours for the taking. My point is that since I am born and living in Atlanta (now i'm in college at Statesboro) this is a black eye for the city of Atlanta. This city is truly the like New York for the south. I hate it when people are easily caughted by the dumb traps tv execs. leave out. And to think it's the Bravo network, from the promos alone, it should be airing from VH1. Like i said, don't hate Atlanta because of those stupid women, spend a day or two in Atlanta and it's nothing like those fools makes you think it is

P.S. My e-mail address is coretrez@yahoo.com, leave me a message.

Posted by: Corey W. at September 4, 2009 8:01 PM

Real Housewives of Atlanta demeans African Americans? Perhaps, but practically every show on VH-1 demeans white people. Rock of Love, Daisy of Love, and all of the other hoochie/douche fests don't really show white folks in the best light either.

Posted by: Monti at September 4, 2009 10:35 PM

A Wu-Tang reference? Seriously? A group that hasn't been relevant for nearly a decade? For shame Mr Murray, for shame!

I see having a trashy reality show predominantly about trashy African-American women as a sign of progress, "equality means the right for black people to publicly act a fool in all the ways that have been denied to us for so long." - Ta-Nehisi Coates

Posted by: Zabu at September 5, 2009 1:54 AM

Corey W., you got balls of steel son. Please come back with a few snippets of what you get sent.

RAT, you gotta bite the Whookie back, and fast. It's the only way. Do it again (commenting).

Posted by: replica at September 5, 2009 2:33 AM

Chtulhu?

Posted by: kellyo at September 5, 2009 7:14 PM

Whoa!...... Rat that was a deep quote. I always wish I had the ability to come up with something witty to say. Brother you knocked it out of the park.

Obviously I wasn't trying to be witty. I mean, how could a statement like I made ever be taken as witty. If I was trying to be witty, I'd call you an asshole. Now that would be witty.

Posted by: RAT at September 5, 2009 7:29 PM

Oh don’t worry your pretty little head about ever being confused with being witty, Rat.

Posted by: Guess Who! at September 6, 2009 12:20 PM

Oh, I'm not worried. You see, witticisms really aren't my forte. However, I am pretty good at sarcasm and facetiousness. I'm sure with your guidance, I'll soon be on my way to being a purveyor of wit just like you.

Let's take for instance some of the comments you made in here:

1. I wouldn't watch "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" to save my left nut.
WOW!
2. Fine dining to you is going to Long John Silver.
AMAZING!
2. They were kinda hot looking, I swear if I were home alone I would have rub one out.
IN-FUCKING-CREDIBLE!

The vastness of your wit astounds me. There is so much I can learn from you. When do we get started? Seriously, I can't wait!

Posted by: RAT at September 7, 2009 6:54 PM

3. They were kinda hot looking, I swear if I were home alone I would have rub one out.
IN-FUCKING-CREDIBLE!

Apparently, numbering isn't my thing either.

Posted by: RAT at September 7, 2009 6:59 PM

and the blank, uncomprehending eyes of a Sunfish

Most apt description ever.

OK. As an Atlanta resident I had to watch the first season of this show if only to see what would be portrayed. Furthermore these gold diggers live in neighborhoods all around me (my boss used to live in one of them), but no, I have never met any of them. Really, I have never met any of their ilk around here either. When the one spent 40 or 50 thousand on her kids birthday party or something, I cried a little on the inside. I understand what the producers are doing and why, and I don't begrudge them for it. Train wrecks like this make for good entertainment, but don't confuse it with reality.

Posted by: ed newman at September 8, 2009 10:30 AM

My friend tole me a great place ____ W E A L T H Y S O C I A L . C O M ____. The best club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs..I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy.——____——

Posted by: millionairegirl at September 8, 2009 12:48 PM

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Betty

http://mortgagecalculato-r.com

Posted by: Betty at September 9, 2009 11:10 AM