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Fixing Fox's F-Ups One Blog Post at a Time

By Seth Freilich | Posted Under TV Reviews | Comments (22)



fringe-bald-empathy-kid.jpg

Seems that the stain of American TV ran over by about 6 minutes last night, meaning folks who tuned in to see the first new episode of “Fringe” in months instead got to see a My Chemical Romance d-bag wannabe doing his cover of “Mad World” (yes, it was rather good for what it was but, seriously — anybody with a decent voice can kill with that song). Not a terribly big deal except that it meant that “Fringe” itself ran overtime which, of course, means anyone who was sitting down to watch the show as recorded missed the freaking conclusion. Because of goddamned Karaoke Idol.

I was one such person, and when the little box popped up on my screen, asking me if I wanted to delete the program, thus indicating that the recording had reached its conclusion, I believe my exact words were “you’ve got to be f-ing kidding me.” I managed to find the last six minutes anyway (*ahem*), so for those of you who were in this boat, here’s what you missed (and if you recorded the show but haven’t watched it yet, this is obviously a *spoiler,* though it doesn’t contain anything major, and you should stop reading now, only coming back when you finally watch what you recorded).

So my recording cut-off right as The Artist took off in his van because Olivia realized that his yellow tree scent thingy was what Bald Empathy Kid made out of the yellow M&Ms back in the hospital (holy Christ, if knew nothing about this show other than that sentence, I would want to stab somebody). The Artist don’t drive so good, and quickly crashed his van. A foot chase ensued and after some tussling in a cemetery, Olivia killed the Artist with a knife to the belly. The victim was beat up, but alive, in the back of the van.

So Olivia calls boss man (no idea what his name is on the show, but you know who I mean — Abaddon from “Lost,” Lt. Daniels from “The Wire” and the undercover cop from “Oz”). She says she needs some help with something — all but the most idiotic viewer guesses she wants to finagle Bald Empathy Kid out of the hands of creepy CIA Guy (that no-name actor, by the way, had a pretty good night, having a minor supporting role here while also having a major supporting role on “Cupid”).

Olivia then asks the Kindly Black Hospital Doctor for a word, and we cut back to the lab. Olivia tells Bald Empathy Kid that Kindly Black Hospital Doctor is going to take him to a home with a nice family, not to a facility. Touching goodbye, and we cut to CIA Guy trying to contain his rage at Lt. Daniels over the kid being gone. Abadon says he has no idea how the kid disappeared from under the nose of a protective detail but, as CIA Guy said, the Bald Empathy Kid also lived his whole life underground, and we don’t know how he got there in the first place either. I guess we just don’t know shit about him and never will, says Daniels. CIA Guy knows this is such, like, total bullshit, but nothing he can do about. Game, set, match: Abaddon.

Olivia goes home and has heartwarming moment with niece.

We end with Bald Empathy Kid being taken to his new home. Standing on a snowy hill watching his car go by is that Adult Bald Watcher Guy. Bald Empahty Kid senses him and looks at him as he drives by.

Given that they’re both pasty and bald and freaky, and that the music got all loud there, I’m going to go out on a limb and say there might be a connection here.

Cut to frog (what the fuck are all these stupid symbols and with the little lights in different places supposed to mean anyways? I don’t pay a lick of attention to them, but JJ and company swore they had some meaning).

So there you go. Nothing major, in the grand scheme of things, but it doesn’t make me hate “American Idol” any less. Fuck you, Seacrest.









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Comments

Creepy CIA guy also had a supporting role as a guido boxer escaped from hell on "Reaper" a few weeks back. So, there's that.

Posted by: Sean at April 8, 2009 8:10 AM

I LOVE this recap of the ending. I am a big "Fringe-natic" and I agree, if someone knew nothing about the show, and only saw,
The Artist took off in his van because Olivia realized that his yellow tree scent thingy was what Bald Empathy Kid made out of the yellow M&Ms back in the hospital
or any of this recap with no other knowledge, ummmm, yeah, I'd think Seth'd finally watched one epi too many....or been delving into House's stash....

Posted by: dammitjanet at April 8, 2009 8:12 AM

Okay, Broyles is the guy's name who is Olivia's boss. And the answer to the symbol question can be found here: http://arstechnica.com/gaming/news/2009/04/ars-cipher-expert-cracks-tv-fringe-code.ars

Posted by: bj at April 8, 2009 8:16 AM

This column is a freakin' public service, right here. Thank you, Seth Formerly Known As Whore.

I didn't miss the ending, but when I sat down at show time and was instead subjected to that thunderously bad music (and those judges...never mind Paula; I think they're all on industrial-strength pharma) something in my soul died. I'm serious. It's starting to smell.

Ryan Seacrest is not even remotely human.

Posted by: Jerce at April 8, 2009 8:27 AM

Everytime i see Lt. daniels in anything i yell "it's about the bodies!" repeatedly until my wife tells me to shut up

Posted by: pabs at April 8, 2009 8:45 AM

Fringe is terrible. Are you kidding? The acting, the writing, the fact it is a lame rip-off of X-Files. I'm disappointed anyone on this site watches that tripe. But I probably wouldn't have posted except to say that Adam Lambert is very talented and a lot of fun to watch. He's a mesmerizing performer. Yes, I realize that statement dwindles my credibility to nil but really, Fringe sucks.

Posted by: Amber Latino at April 8, 2009 9:05 AM

Dude, thank you. Thank you! When I realized Idol was still on and it was almost ten-after, I kind of figured Fringe would be fucked. I was right, but you are my hero.

Posted by: Snath at April 8, 2009 9:25 AM

I was watching Firefly last night, and I've been pissed ever since I discovered that show that fucking FOX canceled it. What the fuck? It could have been the greatest show of all time, you cockstains! Canceling Firefly was a more brain-dead move than even canceling Futurama.

God, FOX sucks, and they even brought back motherfucking Family Guy, and gave MacFarlen two more fucking shows! God I hate them. The FOX executives are wastes of glucose.

Posted by: George at April 8, 2009 9:27 AM

"American" what? What's that?

Posted by: , (the commenter formerly known as bucdaddy) at April 8, 2009 9:45 AM

I don't watch American Idol. I only really know Ryan Seacrest by name. But... the radio station that I listen to has recently started running his syndicated show, all afternoon, every afternoon, as well as on the weekends. In fact, they have replaced one of the syndicated weekend shows that I really liked with Seacrest's show. And you know what? It SUCKS!!! It sucks so hard. He is not even remotely funny. A couple of weeks ago he was announcing that Joel and Benji Madden would be in-studio guests and said something like "Joel and Benji Madden will be here.. and all 472 tattoos." Har, har, har. I get it, because the two of them there rocker dudez gots themselves a whole lot of tattoos. /sarcasm

It's NOT freakin' funny.

I have been wanting to rant for so long about this to someone, so thanks Pajiba for giving me a chance to get it out of my system. Unfortunately, I don't feel any better because the show is still on and I have nothing else to listen to. One of these days I'm going to have to invest in satellite radio, I guess.

Posted by: Elsie at April 8, 2009 10:45 AM

If anyone watched American Idol, you may have noticed a Creepy, bald, extremely stoic guy in the audiance. this was the same bald guy at the end of Fringe.

Posted by: Dave at April 8, 2009 10:50 AM

Thank you!, Seth.

Yes, I was one of the WTF? when the "Keep or Delete" prompt came up with a lot of show to go.

Afterward I went and extended my recording time by 10 minutes for future episodes. Fuck AI!

And the creepy CIA guy looks good in boxing shorts.

Posted by: Drake at April 8, 2009 11:37 AM

I have learned that if I want to record anything even close to AI's timeslot, that I should also record the program AFTER my program just in case the ending gets cut off. This happened to me with Hell's Kitchen recently - totally missed who got kicked off the show cuz AI ran long. Fox fooled me once . . . . .

Posted by: SCG at April 8, 2009 12:52 PM

Yes, Fringe is an X-Files knockoff, but it's a reasonably entertaining one. CIA guy was also on ER, back when ER was still halfway decent. Can't remember his name, doesn't matter, really. Eric something, I think.

Networks kinda like to have their shows run over the established ending time because it discourages viewers from changing the channel, increases the chances they'll hang around to watch the next show up. Having Idol as a lead-in show is a huge advantage, even if it runs over and fucks up the DVR watching. They don't do it a lot, because it also pisses people off, but when they do it, it's deliberate. They'd love it if Fringe held on to at least half of the Idol audience, but I doubt it will. Not a lot of audience overlap between the singing competitions and sci-fi.

Posted by: Slash at April 8, 2009 1:31 PM

Creepy CIA guy, as Slash pointed out, is known to many of us from his time on ER, as Dr. Dave.

I actually saw Fringe for the first time last night. I'd watch it again if I caught it while flipping channels.

Oh, and I thought that part of Creepy CIA guy's pissy look at the end was because the tall black guy was insinuating that it was all rather suspicious how the kid had been locked down there --meaning that the CIA probably knew what the dealio was.

Posted by: tamatha at April 8, 2009 1:43 PM

Thanks, Seth.

I recorded "Fringe" last night, but I haven't watched it yet. You probably saved me from throwing the remote at the TV when I discovered I was missing the end. I stopped at your spoiler warning, so I will resume reading your post after watching.

I have learned to factor in extra recording time if I want to save something that comes on after a football or baseball broadcast, since they tend to run over. But running over on a karaoke show is too much. That's when I hate FOX, AI, and Ryan Seacrest the most.

Posted by: rlr260 at April 8, 2009 3:40 PM

whew...Billy Corgan looks like shit. But at least he's not dead like Joshua Jackson.

Posted by: PissBoy at April 8, 2009 3:58 PM

I ended up missing the last five minutes of the Battlestar Galactica finale for the same reason. The last segment after commercials starts up, then I get that gobsmacking TiVo chime asking me if I want to delete the program. Suffice to say, I was pretty pissed. I don't know why it ran long, but I'm willing to blame American Idol for that one too.

Posted by: Leftylad at April 8, 2009 4:10 PM

Fringe is one of those shows that I love to watch but can never convince anyone else to give a chance. Without fail when I bring it up people protest with the "but it's just a new X-Files" argument. While true, I've found that 90% of the people who use that defense didn't actually watch X-File either, so really, fuck them.

Anyhow, I LOVE this show and JJ has been very upfront about including clues and puzzles in the actual fabric of the show itself. (Something not unfamiliar to us Losties.) As for the animal/dot puzzle, the only place I've seen where someone is actively working on figuring it out is over at Ars. Linkage: http://arstechnica.com/media/news/2009/04/secret-codes-in-tv-series-fringe.ars

Sorry about the txt link, i haven't had the patience to figure out Pajibas url code yet...

Posted by: Roaddog at April 8, 2009 7:25 PM

Fer sure Creepy CIA Guy knew SOMETHING about the Creepy Bald Kid because, near the beginning of the show, when he left the hospital room after talking to Olivia and kid, he got on the phone and said something about "we've got another one." I'm not too sure I'd trust Kindly Hospital Doctor either. Not sure that I believed the kid ended up at a place that Olivia's boss knew about. Creepy all around. Good times.

Posted by: c at April 9, 2009 1:23 AM

Creepy CIA Guy is Erik Palladino. And I think he's kind of hot... ;-)

I trusted the doctor, because Powder Junior did. He'd have known if she was lying about taking him to a safe foster family, just as he knew everything else.

I just loved John Noble in this episode. His little dance with the mind-reading thingummy was adorable!

Posted by: Tarn at April 9, 2009 12:48 PM

Creepy CIA guy looks a lot like Mike Bibby.

I'm not sure about the scheduling for Fringe. They've split the season up into three sections with 6-8 week hiatuses in between. Both sections left with a sort of major development and/or cliffhanger, but the return episodes have not really built on them. In the previous episode, Olivia DEACTIVATED A BOMB WITH HER MIND, for crying out loud, and there was a pretty big reveal with Walter and his typewriter. Unfortunately the long hiatus has made me forget a lot of what that was about and now they stuck me with a near WHoTW. (X-Files had monsters of the week, this show has Weird Happenings of the Week). I enjoy the heck out of the show but the season continues to meander.

Posted by: Matches at April 9, 2009 4:13 PM